Messing with Christmas Fate - An Alvin and the Chipmunks Fanfic
Written by Tal "Narf" H.

Howdy! It's been a pretty long time since I wrote anything for here lately, so I don't know how many of you remember who I am. Back in March I wrote a really large story with promises of a sequel that just never seemed to have quite manifested.

No, I did not fall off the face of the earth, and yes, I'm still trying to get that darn sequel out, BUT- I'm not here to create a media hype for it. I've gone through three complete story reworkings, and I can't make any promises to anything except the fact that I'm still trying to write it.

I decided to write an unrelated Christmas short to my series. Sure, two of my characters are refered to very vaguely in this short, but they are just that, vague references. You don't need to have any prior knowledge to my OCs to read the story. This was just a fun little story I decided to write for a contest (my own contest, just to give Chipmunklover/Elizabeth some competition) I created on DeviantART, for the only Chipmunk fan club that I know of there that's actually active. (Because I think I know if it's active if I run it.) Sorry, getting off topic here.

Anyways, without any further rambling, enjoy this hilarious little Christmas story. And a word of the wise; don't mess with the Spirit of Christmas. People might hate you. o__o

~*~Part 1~*~

"For the last time Alvin, no!" Simon yelled as he banged his fists on the table, causing some of the chemicals on the lab table to slosh around in the jars a little bit.

"Aw, why not?" Alvin begged, getting down on his knees and giving Simon the classic "puppy dog face" in another attempt to swagger his smarter yet aggrivatingly boring brother.

"Because Alvin, after this experiment I have to help Dave with the Christmas shopping. It's the twenty-third you know."

Alvin quit with the begging face and instead rested his head in one of his hands, a sour look spread across his face. "What does that mean...?"

Simon began to put the chemicals on his table away as a precaution. At this rate, he was either going to cause a major spill in his lab, or he was going to throw something toxic at his immature yet older brother. "It means that Dave is a little bit behind this year and I'm going to help him out. How hard was that to comprehend?"

Alvin shook his head. "Not what I meant with the question. Are you telling me that I can't Christmas shop for you guys?"

Simon growled to himself. "In fact, no. You'll just pick out the presents that you would want and only the presents you would want."

Dave decided to only bring Simon along, because Alvin would do just what Simon accused him of, greed, and Theodore was very likely to tell what the others got. Dave would have to go back to the store to get Simon some kind of present later in the day. Miss Miller agreed to hide the presents at her house so the boys wouldn't peek.

"Oh how conis... conduh..."

"Condescending?" Simon asked. Alvin nodded and pointed at Simon.

"Yeah! How condescending!" Alvin yelled out, getting up and pointing at Simon in accusation. Simon rolled his eyes and pushed his brother aside.

"Alvin, I bet you don't know what the word means," Simon said sarcastically as he made his way up the basement stairs.

"Yeah I do!" Alvin yelled out impulsively. "It means... well..." Alvin thought for a second, but he couldn't exactly describe the word... "well it doesn't matter! You put the word in my mouth, you know what it means!"

Alvin stood in the basement waiting for some kind of response back, but it didn't come, and Alvin wasn't happy. Why couldn't he go Christmas shopping? What could he do to make it so that he could go with Dave, so he could pick out the presents that he wanted, and maybe pick one out for his brothers as well.

He began brainstorming tactics on how to accomplish what he wanted. Simon may have the book-smarts, but Alvin was the better general when it comes to carrying out plans. He needed to come up with something to counterbalance Simon's chess master like mind. But what to do?

It had been a good deal of time since Alvin last decided to prank Simon. Ever since their new friends moved nearby from over the summer, Alvin had plenty of things to do that kept his mind occupied and off being his casual trickster self... or at least... to his family members anyways.

But now, they were out of state for the holidays, and now it was time to knock his brother's socks off. But how...

Alvin began to walk up the basement steps, pondering on various ways how to trick Simon. As he walked up the steps, he could smell the scent of baking muffins. Theodore must be up to cooking everyone a snack before Dave left for the major retail department store. At the moment though, Alvin thought nothing of it, and headed for the kitchen to get a glass of milk before thinking up some kind of plan.

"Hi Alvin," Theodore said with a grin on his face as he tended to the half cooked muffins inside the oven. "What'cha up to?"

Alvin stared into the fridge for a second, trying to figure out what to say that wouldn't arouse suspicion. "Oh, nothing really. Just figuring out what to do while they're up at the store," Alvin said in a disappointed tone of voice.

"Oh," Theodore said, not changing the tone in his voice. "Well we have lots of video games, why don't you play those?"

"Neh, I'm bored of them," Alvin lied. "I want to do something a little different."

Theodore stood up straight and his eyes dilated a little bit. Every time he said that, it only meant one thing. Trouble.

"Oh, well I'm kind of busy right now. I want to get these muffins done before they leave," Theodore said, loosening up and cleaning up the kitchen a little bit. It was a mess.

Alvin looked at the oven, then at Theodore, then began to wonder. They're eating something before they leave. What if Simon were to suddenly get sick?

The wheels began to turn in Alvin's mind, as a plan began to conjure up in his mind. There had to be some way how to make Simon to sick to do the shopping. Alvin was Dave's next best pick. He had to be! I mean, who would pick Theodore to do some Christmas shopping? Dave would have to be crazy to pick Theodore next over Alvin.

After finishing his glass of milk and setting it down carelessly on the table- Theodore was in there anyways he'd do the dish for him- he walked into the living room to try to think of ways how to poison Simon. Or well, not poison him. He wouldn't want his brother to die, that would be horrible. But he wanted to make Simon just sick enough to not go.

He glanced at the TV for a second. Dave must have left the channel on a movie channel, because Dumb and Dumber was on. He watched to see what was going on.

In the movie, a blond haired man drank a cup of tea with his buddy, a brown haired guy. The guy looked really dumb... but he appeared to know what he was doing. He watched for a couple of minutes. The man rubbed his hands together and said something evil to himself about a laxative.

Sure enough, the blond haired guy needed to go use the bathroom horribly bad. At this point though, Alvin was immediately disgusted with what followed and turned the TV off before the scene was over, and hoped he'd never see that again.

Wait, that was it! He remembered seeing something like this before. You give someone a laxative, and someone has to use the bathroom. Over and over again. Maybe if he could give Simon some kind of Laxative, he could go and do the Christmas shopping while Simon was gone. Brilliant!

Eager in anticipation, he ran upstairs to the bathroom. Standing on the footstool in front of the sink, he carefully made his way up to the medicine cabinet and peered inside.

"Hm, lets see... Toothpaste... Aspirin..." Alvin listed, taking stuff out of the cabinet as he went, "Baby Powder... Baby Oil... soap... Lubricant?" Alvin looked at the lubricant puzzlingly. What could that be used for? He shrugged and put it down with the rest of the stuff.

"Aha!" Alvin said to himself quietly with a satisfied, evil smile on his face. He pulled out the bottle of laxative in the cabinet and shook it up to himself. Hm, that's strange. It's quite heavy but no rattling. He opened the bottle to take a look.

Looked empty too. He turned the bottle upside down and some liquid came out. Surprised, he turned it back right side up, but not until after dumping half the bottle on the floor though.

Panicking, he had to clean this mess up and fast. He briskly put all the stuff back in the cabinet and grabbed a towel and wiped the laxative off the floor. Dave will just assume the towel was wet from the boys and throw it in the laundry no harm done.

Now that he had his ammunition, now he needed a way to fire the ammo. But how? This was a liquid.

Maybe he could offer Simon a drink? ...nah, Simon would be suspicious, that wouldn't work. There's no guarantee that Simon will get a drink anyways. There had to be some way how to get the laxative in the muffin.

Alvin opened the medicine cabinet again. On the bottom shelf there was an eyedropper. Yes! He could carry out his masterful plan. He filled the eyedropper until it was half full, put the laxative back in the cabinet, then carefully put the eyedropper in his pocket and headed back into the upstairs hallway.

He had to figure out the right time to attack. There were two other sets of eyes in the house that could at any time stop Alvin from what he was going to do, not to mention Simon himself. So timing was key. As he got out of the bathroom, he saw Simon going back down to his lab, which meant that one of his problems was out of the way.

His next problem would be Dave. While he was upstairs, he peeked his head into Dave's room. He was typing intently in front of the computer, probably typing out an e-mail to one of his coworkers or his boss. Didn't have to worry too much about Dave right now.

Now all he needed to do, was make sure Theodore was out of the way. He crept down the stairs and headed in to the kitchen again. As blessing would have it, Theodore was out of the kitchen as well, and the muffins were cooling on the windowsill behind the sink, the window open a crack so that the muffins would cool off, yet not make the house cold with the chilly Los Angeles air.

At random, Alvin snatched a muffin off the tray, but quickly dropped it right next to the countertop. It was still piping hot. Quickly, he stabbed the muffin with the eyedropper, squeezed in the contents, and put it back on the tray, actually spinning the tray in the frenzy. He briskly put the eyedropper in his pocket in case of any problems.

"Alvin, wait a minute!" Theodore called out running back to the kitchen. Alvin was rubbing his hand from the slight burn. "The muffins are still hot!"

"I noticed..." Alvin grunted in sarcasm as he rubbed his hands together. Theodore took the tray off the windowsill and put it on the table.

Then a discouraging realization came to head. All the muffins look identical. He didn't know which muffin was spiked! The horrible realization that he could 'poison' himself was too much for him to handle.

"What's the matter? You look like you saw a ghost... or worse, the muffin monster!" Theodore squeaked, shivering at the thought of a muffin monster.

Alvin shook his head and threw his hands up in the air. "The muffin monster?! Theodore, that's even dumber than the ghost thing you were talking about!"

Theodore put his hands together and looked off to the side. "I'm afraid of the muffin monster..."

Alvin groaned and began looking through the muffins. He just had to find the right one. Quickly, he found a muffin with a hole in the edge of it and set it aside on the table, and sighed in relief.

"Hey fellas," a voice said in the kitchen, causing Alvin to shoot straight up and hit his head on the ceiling.

"Oh sorry Alvin, I didn't mean to scare you," Dave said, picking Alvin off the floor and brushing the spackle out of his hair fringe with his hand. "What were you doing on the floor?"

"Uh..." Alvin looked around the room trying to come up with an excuse. "I dropped a dime on the floor. Yeah, that's it!" he said, picking a dime up off the floor with quick thinking.

"Uh, alright. I'll try to be careful not to scare you again," Dave said, picking the muffin up off the table.

"Dave, no!" Alvin said, seizing the muffin in Dave's hand and clutching it to his chest.

"Alvin, if you wanted the muffin, you could have just told me," Dave said sternly. Alvin looked at the muffin and blinked.

"It uh, fell on the floor. I put it on the table so that you won't eat it," Alvin said forcing a grin.

Dave blinked. Alvin was up to something, but it wasn't worth figuring out what was wrong. "Oh, okay. If you want, I'll throw it away for you-"

"No, it's okay. Thank you though," Alvin said trying to dismiss Dave and walking towards the garbage disposal in the washroom.

Dave blinked. Whatever the cause, he must really want that muffin. Unsure whether to be worried or not, he shrugged it off and grabbed another muffin off the tray and went upstairs to get ready to go out.

Alvin sat in between the washing machine and the dryer hearing for Dave to head back upstairs. When satisfied, he got up and closed his eyes, sighing in relief before whistling to himself.

"What are you thinking...?" a high pitched voice said in front of Alvin, and he once again jumped, landing rump first on the floor. He looked up to see Theodore in front of him with a confused look on his face.

"Oh, nothing," Alvin said, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Theodore offered his hand to help Alvin up off the floor, and Alvin gladly accepted it.

"Oh please, I know you're up to something," Theodore said, looking Alvin in the eye, "because if you weren't, you would give me the muffin."

"No way, it's my muffin!" Alvin said defensively, clutching it to his chest.

Theodore narrowed his eyes and grinned. "Eat it then."

Alvin's eye twitched. Wow, if Theodore could catch on to him, he must be really out of touch. Sighing, he dropped his arms.

"Alright, you got me..." Alvin said in defeat. Theodore grinned.

"Okay, I might have gotten you, but you still didn't tell me what you did to my muffins."

Alvin reacted defensively. "Hey, I didn't do anything to your muffins!" Sighing, he looked around the room to see if Simon put some kind of spy trap in the room before telling Theodore what was going on. "Only this one. I put a laxative in this one."

"A laxawhat?" Theodore said, puzzled to such a strange word.

"A laxative, Theodore. It makes you use the bathroom. A lot."

"Why would you need a muffin with... does this have to do with Simon?" Theodore inquired, now really wanting to know what kind of argument went down between the two.

"I want to go Christmas shopping, okay?!" Alvin said irritably, before sighing again. Theodore laughed to himself.

"Oh Alvin..." Theodore playfully admonished his brother... "you know that Simon's the best out of us three to do the Christmas shopping, just let him go. Besides, I think he knows what you want anyways."

"Meh, I guess you're right," Alvin half-unwillingly agreed.

"Now, I'll make a deal with you," Theodore said, having Alvin right where he wanted him. These classes from Simon really helped out, "I won't tell Simon."

"You wont?!" Alvin said happily, getting ready to hug him.

"But-"

Alvin stopped in mid lunge. "But what...?"

Theodore held his hand out. "I need to throw away the muffin," he said with a wince. He hated to waste food. Alvin sighed, then looked down as he relinquished the muffin.

"I promise I won't tell," Theodore promised with a smile after taking the muffin. He then went into the kitchen, with Alvin following behind, and threw the muffin away.

And without a moment to spare, Dave and Simon both came into the kitchen. Dave still had the muffin he took in his hand, and Simon grabbed a muffin for the ride to the store.

"Anyways you two, Simon and I will be back in a few hours, okay?"

"Okay Dave," Alvin and Theodore said in unison.

"Now I'm hoping you two will behave yourselves. I'd get Tal to come over to watch you guys, but he's out of state right now so you two will be alone. Don't make a mess and stay out of trouble okay?"

"Alright," they said as Dave was on his way out the door, Dave taking a bite out of the muffin in his hand.

"Mmm, Theodore, the muffins came out particularly good this time," Dave commented on his way out the door.

"Thank you!" Theodore called to Dave.

Simon approached Alvin before he went to go follow Dave. "Don't worry Alvin. You won't be disappointed, alright? It's not like I don't know what stuff you like and don't like."

Alvin shifted in his spot. "Alright..."

Simon grinned and patted Alvin on the shoulder before running out the door to follow Dave.

Alvin looked at Theodore then looked out the door again. He suddenly felt a little tired. Eager to try to do something to keep his mind off this sudden wave to go to sleep, he went over to Theodore.

"So, what do you want to do?" Alvin asked Theodore as he walked back into the kitchen.

"Uh, I want to give everyone else my own kind of Christmas present, so I was gonna bake some stuff. You want to help?" Theodore asked.

"Uh, no thanks. I'm kind of tired, I might go take a nap," Alvin said, heading for the couch sure that Theodore wasn't going to be much entertainment. Theodore had a saddened look on his face.

"Baking always keeps me awake," Theodore said quietly to himself.

Alvin lied down on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. Doing the right thing is hard work. Before he could ponder on it more though, his heavy eyelids shut closed, and he took a nap.

-------------------

Slam! A shuffling noise, and the noise of running went on in the surroundings.

Alvin groaned, then bleakly looked up at the ceiling. Theodore must have dropped something in the kitchen.

Almost as if on cue, Theodore came into the living room and peered over Alvin's head.

"Alvin, this is really weird," he said worriedly. "Dave's home already."

Alvin got up quickly. In fact, he got up so fast, that he head-butted Theodore in the chin on the way up, and both of them began rubbing their heads.

"Ouch! Theodore!" Alvin yelled out, rubbing his head vigorously straining to look at the clock on the VCR/DVD player. Less than an hour went by.

"Sorry," Theodore mumbled as he rubbed his chin. He bit his lip when Alvin smacked into his chin and he could taste he was bleeding a little bit in his mouth.

"Where did Dave go?" Alvin grumbled. His head was throbbing, but it wasn't something he hadn't felt before.

Theodore was biting his lip lightly and looked upstairs. "He ran upstairs in a hurry, I haven't seen him run like that before!"

Simon walked in the door and went straight over to meet his brothers. "Something's wrong with Dave, he thinks he's getting sick or something, but I couldn't figure out what or why. Judging by the way he was driving so recklessly home, I'd say something with his bowels."

"Bowels?" Alvin asked dumbly.

"Meaning, he had to go relieve himself," Simon stated as a matter of factly.

"In ten year old?" Alvin growled, getting up and grabbing the scruff of Simon's turtleneck.

Simon wasn't expecting Alvin to grab him like that, and he staggered backwards a step. "Use the bathroom?"

Alvin let go and froze up. No, he grabbed the right muffin. He was sure he grabbed the right muffin. There was a hole in the top of the muffin he grabbed!

Simon picked up on his behavior and immediately knew Alvin did something. "What did you do...?"

"Me, did someth-"

"Alvin!" Simon interrupted Alvin. "I know you did something, spit it out!" He glanced over to Theodore, but Theodore shot back a look on his face that read 'don't look at me!'

"How long does a laxative take to wear off?" Alvin said with a sheepish grin.

Simon slapped his forehead. Alvin fed Dave a laxative? Why? What would he be doing putting laxatives in their food?

"About twenty-four hours! Why would you feed Dave a laxative?" Simon yelled at Alvin.

"I didn't mean to! It was supposed to be for you!" Alvin admitted.

"Oh, how reassuring," Simon said sarcastically, now angry with his brother's immaturity.

"I thought I made him throw away the muffin?" Theodore now said, thoroughly confused about the whole situation.

"Yeah, he made me throw away the muffin with it in it!" Alvin said, pointing at Theodore.

"Well, that's very good natured of you," Simon said with a warm looking grin, but then it soured again, "but that still doesn't change that you obviously threw away the wrong one!"

"I.. I thought!" Alvin said in paranoia.

Theodore's eyes watered. "I threw away a perfectly good muffin?"

Simon sighed in exasperation. "Theodore, don't worry about that, we have a bigger problem on our hands!"

Theodore blinked and looked at the ground, trying not to take this as a personal offense. He felt like crying, but he managed to keep it to just having his eyes water.

"So, what do you suppose we do now, Alvin?" Simon said angrily, stomping his way to Alvin in an intimidating manner.

"Uh... well- uh..." Alvin mumbled in fear. Honest to goodness he didn't know anything except, well, "don't tell Dave?"

Simon groaned furiously and clutched both of his hands to his head in stress. Alvin grinned sheepishly to figure out a reason why Simon shouldn't, but right at the moment, he was drawing a blank.

"Alvin-" Simon grumbled, "give me one good reason- why I shouldn't."

Alvin looked up in the ceiling, his mind in a panicking frenzy. He didn't want to he grounded for the holidays. There's no way he should get grounded for the holidays. It just wasn't fair! He didn't intentionally make Dave sick!

"We don't need Dave to do our Christmas shopping anyways?" Alvin said, covering his eyes enough to peek and clenched his teeth. He was almost sure it wasn't going to work.

Simon sighed, trying to calm himself down from the whole ordeal. "And how do you suppose we do that? Santa Claus is going to drop off the presents!?" he said sarcastically.

"Wasn't that supposed to happen anyways?" Theodore asked.

"Theodore, Santa d-" Simon was about to yell out, but stopped himself when he realized who asked the question, "...never mind. That's not the point. Santa has a big list of kids to bring presents to this year, so he might not bring enough." Simon laid a cheesy grin on his face to Theodore, hoping he would buy that.

"Good one, genius," Alvin grumbled, adjusting his cap and rolling his eyes.

Theodore thought to himself for a second, then nodded. "Oh, okay. I don't want Santa to be too worried about us this year," he said sympathetically.

The boys heard a noise upstairs, the bathroom door was opening. Alvin gave Simon a pleading look, eyes begging not to tell Dave.

Simon rolled his eyes, then sighed. He couldn't believe he was doing this.

"Boys?" Dave called from the top stairs.

"Yes Dave?" the boys chorused, running to the stairwell up to the second floor and looking intently at Dave.

"I don't know why I feel so sick all of a sudden, but I don't think I'll be able to do any Christmas shopping today. I hope you boys understand," Dave said weakly.

"It's alright Dave," Simon and Theodore said in unison.

"...because we'll do the Christmas shopping for you!" Alvin fired, as if it was an invitation to throw in some sort of comeback.

"Alvin!" Simon and Theodore both snapped at Alvin.

"Are you three able to handle it by yourselves?" Dave asked in astonishment.

"You bet! Just give us the money, we'll take care of everything, Dave!" Alvin said back before either of his brothers could speak.

"Well..." Dave thought to himself out loud, "...you did want to go with me so badly this year... alright, why not."

"Yes!" Alvin whispered to himself, and did a small victory dance. Theodore looked at his brother with a puzzled look, while Simon threw his hands in his face and sighed in exasperation.

"But you boys better be careful," Dave said, clutching his stomach as he felt another wave come over him, "I'd give you a lecture about safety but I don't have time. Please be careful," Dave said, reaching into his pocket to hand Alvin a few hundred dollars.

"No sweat, Dave. It'll be a blast!" Alvin said in a confident tone, running up to grab the cash from Dave's hand. Dave however reacted to the comment a little bit differently, and as soon as Alvin had the money he bolted off to the bathroom again.

Alvin looked at the small stack of Benjamins. Six hundred dollars, nice touch. He walked down the stairs casually humming to himself.

"Ahem," Simon said, grabbing Alvin by the turtleneck in order to keep him from leaving the house. Alvin stopped and turned around with a confused look on his face.

"What?" Alvin asked in sarcasm. Simon shook his head.

"Where are you going?" Simon asked in aggravated concern.

Alvin looked at Simon, then at the door, then Simon again. "Going to see if Fritzie will come up with some-"

"She's- not- home!!" Simon said loudly, smacking Alvin lightly across the side of his head. "Remember?"

Alvin blinked for a second, then realized what he got himself into. "Oh crap... forgot."

"Yeah. So, how do you suppose we do this now?" Simon asked, waiting for an excuse.

"Uh, well..." Alvin said, putting a finger to his chin, "...that's a good question."

---------------------------------------

Theodore stifled a yawn as Simon and himself were sitting on the living room couch, Alvin pacing back and forth intently with his hands behind his back. Alvin looked at Theodore for a second to catch the yawn, but with disappointed results, went back to pacing profusely across the living room floor in front of them.

Simon was thinking to himself ways on how to get out of this mess too, because Alvin successfully managed to nearly ruin their Christmas already, and he knew some way or another he was going to have to come up with a solution. It was only a matter of...

"Darn it!" Alvin grunted as he stopped pacing and turned to his brothers. "Either of you have any ideas?"

...time.

"Well, we could always call a Taxi," Theodore suggested. "They'll bring us to the store and back."

"And waste some of this precious money? Are you nuts!?" Alvin said in dismissal. Spending money on things other than toys sounded like a quote out of a horror movie.

"But then we don't have to-"

"I told you Theodore, no," Alvin interrupted, and Theodore blinked to himself and remained quiet.

"So what does this mean, it's all me now to come up with some kind of solution?" Simon asked.

"That would be the hint," Alvin said smugly. Simon sighed in disgust.

"You could have at least been polite about it," Simon shot back. Alvin glared at Simon as if he was offended.

"Me? Not pol-"

"Alvin," Simon warned as he cut his brother off. Alvin gave a disgruntled sigh and shut up.

"Alright, lets see..." Simon began thinking to himself. Theodore, feeling like he wasn't a part of the conversation, began to head up to their room. "Since we want to have as much money as possible for the gifts, the first thing to do is to fill ourselves up with food here. This way we spend as little money on things we don't need as possible."

"Alright, this is making sense now!" Alvin said as a matter of factly. He ran into the kitchen and began to pick random things out of the refrigerator.

"Also, since we won't be getting a ride, this means that we will have to walk, and the nearest store is point six three miles away from our house," Simon said, doing the calculations in his head.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Alvin asked, coming back in to the living room with an armful of food.

"It means that... Alvin, why did you grab apples, mayonnaise, and ham?" Simon said flatly. Alvin looked at his hands then realized what he grabbed from the shelf and grinned stupidly, getting ready to put them back into the kitchen. "As I was saying, it means that the nearest store is a bit of a walk from our house, so it would be wise to bring enough water for the trip as well."

Alvin put the groceries down in a heap on the kitchen table and fished up a glare at Simon. "Water is for pansies!"

"Alvin," Simon groaned, "water is one of the most vital things to life on Earth. It's a long walk, and it will especially be long with an armful of presents. Bring water."

Alvin grumbled profusely to himself before grabbing an empty water bottle from under the sink and filling it up with tap water. When he was done, he walked into the living room.

"Uh, Alvin," Simon said as he rolled his eyes, "would you be so kind as to make water bottles for all three of us?"

"For all three of us? Are you kidding me? Theodore drinks enough water to be three of us!" Alvin complained.

"Do it!" Simon objected, dropping the sarcastic tone.

"Fine!" Alvin shot back as he went into the kitchen again to fill up three more water bottles, two of them were for Theodore. When he was done, he walked back into the living room and slammed them on the table.

"Okay, now what?" Alvin said impatiently, hinting to Simon to get on to the good part.

"Well, now that we're prepared, all we have to do then is walk to the store, get what we need and head home," Simon said with a shrug.

"That's it?" Alvin asked in disappointment.

"Not everything in life is a command and conquer mission, Alvin..."

"Yeah, but what fun is it if it isn't?" Alvin asked with a grin.

Simon sighed again. "You've been hanging out with Fritzie too much," he said as Theodore came back downstairs again.

"Hey guys?" Theodore asked.

"What?" Alvin and Simon both said in a flat tone.

"Why don't we ask for Miss Miller a ride? I mean, we won't be so tired!" Theodore suggested. Simon and Alvin looked at each other with a shocked look on their face and shook their head no vigorously.

"Are you crazy?" Alvin declared.

"It would be safer walking than getting a ride from her!" Simon declared in agreeance. Theodore sighed and hung his head. He wasn't too happy that he wasn't getting his two cents in. "We've already devised a plan on what to do."

Alvin walked over and handed Theodore the two water bottles. "And you better eat. Once we're out, we're not buying any food."

"Aww man!" Theodore complained as Alvin shoved Theodore into the kitchen. Simon silently followed his brothers.

---------------------------------

"Argh, I'm tired," Alvin complained as his brothers tagged along behind him.

"Alvin, we left the house five minutes ago, we're not even three blocks from home yet!" Simon yelled at Alvin. Alvin turned around and shot a look to Simon that read 'you've got to be kidding me.' "Well then, it's either you walk, or we call a taxi."

Suddenly, Alvin straightened up as if he had a burst of energy. "We don't need no taxi!" he proclaimed, and strided stupidly down the road. Simon shook his head.

"What are we gonna get Dave?" Theodore asked Simon. Alvin stopped striding like an idiot and turned around, horrified at the question.

"What?!"

"You know, get Dave for Christmas!" Theodore chimed, thinking about all the great things he could get for Christmas. He could even get some decent cookware for Dave, that way everyone could use it.

"Theodore, the money he gave me is for us three to get stuff with," Alvin said flatly.

"I know he did. I want to get him something this year," Theodore said, not understanding what Alvin meant by the statement.

"I mean, he gave me money to get stuff for us, Theodore," Alvin said plainly. Simon began rubbing his temples.

"I can't believe you, Alvin."

"What?" Alvin barked at Simon. The three of them stopped walking.

"If it wasn't because of you, Dave wouldn't be too sick to do the Christmas shopping this year! If there wasn't any other reason to give Dave a present, in which I think that there's more than enough reasons to do it, that by itself is one."

"Well then fine, you guys can get what you want for him with your money," Alvin said bluntly, beginning to walk again in the opposite direction.

Simon felt like blowing up in his brother's face for such a snide comment, but for the sake of the mission, he had to keep himself from going crazy halfway through the neighborhood. "You're walking the wrong way, idiot" Simon said through clenched teeth, his voice raised a half an octave in anger.

Alvin did an about-face and strided stupidly in the opposite direction. "I knew that!"

"How can we get Dave anything if we don't have any money?" Theodore asked Alvin, keeping his wits about him much better than his more intelligent older brother.

"What are you talking about Theodore?" Alvin said as he sighed in his own exasperation.

"Uh, I mean..." Theodore said as he shifted to himself, "...you have all the money."

Alvin thought for a second then it clicked. "Oh, right," he said as he dug into his pocket, and gave his brothers one hundred dollars each.

"Ahem," Simon said as he held his hand out. "That's not split evenly."

"What, I gave you so-"

"ALVIN!" Simon almost screamed out. Alvin backed up dramatically at the yell.

"Okay, okay. Sheesh. Take it easy, Simon! I was only kidding," Alvin said, handing his other two brothers another one hundred dollars each.

'Sure you were,' Simon thought to himself, almost saying it out loud that's how angry he was. And with that, the brothers continued their trek across town towards their destination.

What they didn't know was that someone else was following behind them: stalking the boys in the bushes unnoticed as they continued bickering at each other. It was only a matter of time before it could put it's master plan into action.

Anyways, since I'm going to upload the story in one go, I'm not going to hound for reviews until the end. However, if you want to let me know how you feel getting this far and what you think will happen next, feel free to give me a little feedback. Reviews- it's what's for dinner.™