The wind was howling like a pack of starving wolves… and the ground was frozen solid. Whatever stalks of wheat remained were brittle and frozen… The once lush and radiant field of wheat was now desolate and barren, awaiting the spring to bring forth new life and prosperity…
Under the ground, however, was humming with activity as always…
Tonight in the Aperture Science facility, something was clearly under way. Robotic arms everywhere were moving along management rails, busying themselves with something… but if one were to stand back and watch them, it would be very difficult to make out just what they were doing…
Elsewhere in the facility, two robots meandered about, confused by the rush of activity within the facility they called home. Atlas and P-body strolled up to a robotic arm that was moving along with a group of five other arms. Atlas got up close to the arm, only to see that it was taking small circular objects out of a container, and sticking them to the wall. He squinted, trying to get a closer look, only to have the arm move forward and smack him in the face. P-body doubled over in laughter at the spectacle, and Atlas shot his comrade a glare.
" I'd advise you to keep clear of them while they're working…" A familiar feminine voice boomed over the facility wide intercom system. " They're being rather efficient… You should take notes." She cleared her throat awkwardly, as if trying to stifle her normally antagonistic attitude. " Anyway, I have something special for you two to do tonight. Why don't you come to the central chamber?" Atlas and P-body exchanged worried glances… Anything that GLaDOS called "special" usually didn't bode well for anyone else… P-body hurried off into the facility, his knobby knees almost buckling a few times due to his nervousness. Atlas followed hesitantly, his fear shining through above his normally bold composure.
Once they reached the central AI chamber, they fearfully crept inside… Looking around, they saw GLaDOS looking at them expectantly, with a strange looking structure standing just to the right of her.
" Today I have something different planned for you two. It's both a small lesson that will further educate you in human customs and an enriching activity; as this is, in fact, an enrichment center. Come closer." The two robots, their fear somewhat alleviated, crept closer.
" If you'll take a moment to notice the structure standing to my right, I'll begin my lesson." The two robots sat down underneath her. " Tonight is the 24th day of the month of December… Tomorrow is a day that the humans have reserved for one of their holidays. They call it "Christmas." Atlas and P-body cooed, trying to absorb her teachings as best they could. " Some humans believe that this night marks the birth of the son of their god, who was supposedly destined to be the savior of humanity. If you don't believe such things, or if you're me and know exactly what happens to a human after they die, this holiday holds little spiritual meaning. However, it is still considered to be a joyous occasion among many families regardless of their religious denomination." The two robots were awestruck…
" There are many ways to celebrate Christmas… But the most common activities include: Baking an assortment of holiday treats and distributing them to friends and loved ones, inviting family members and friends over for a large meal, followed by the exchanging of gifts, going door to door and singing Christmas carols, spending the day alone, and attending a church service. But, there is one other thing that I have neglected to mention, and it happens to be the activity I have decided to share with you today." GLaDOS turned her attention to the structure to her right.
" What you see here is an accurate replica of an evergreen tree. The humans regard this tree as one of the iconic symbols of Christmas. Humans place these trees in their homes specifically for this holiday, and they decorate them with an assortment of different things ranging from glass ornaments, to strung popcorn and berries. I won't trouble you with the origin of this custom, as it's been modified many times over the years, but I can tell you that you will be decorating your very own Christmas tree tonight. I have already equipped the tree with the appropriate amount of lights and garland, but the rest is up to you." Atlas and P-body sprang to their feet, unable to contain their excitement. Suddenly, the floor opened up near the tree, and a box popped out of the floor. It was overflowing with an assortment of different objects. P-body was the first to run over to the box, excitedly looking over the ornaments.
" Yes, go on, pick the ones you like, and gently hang them on the tree. All of the things in that box have been equipped with hooks and strings, so go ahead and start hanging them. In the meantime, I will be observing your ornament choices and using that information to determine whether or not your personalities are evolving as I suspect they have been." Atlas ran over to the box, and the two of them started digging through the box, chattering and squeaking with glee…
GLaDOS would never admit it to anyone, but she absolutely adored this holiday. Sometimes she thought it was the part of Caroline in her shining through, and it had always been that way without her realizing it. Whatever the reason, she looked forward to this day every year. Something about elegant white lights decorating a beautiful evergreen tree… she wouldn't trade it for anything. Her circuits were crackling with joy… a feeling that escaped her all too often. She relished the warmth and inner peace it brought her, for she knew it would only last a short while.
She watched the two robots as they decorated the tree with ornaments. She noticed that P-body was picking realistic ornaments, with little or no abstract features. Atlas, on the other hand, was picking ornaments that were just the opposite. The ornaments he chose were almost purely abstract depictions of real life objects, and were often brightly colored. GLaDOS found this interesting, and was carefully filing away the data as they decorated.
A few hours rolled by, and soon the robots had finished decorating the tree. They had made sure to cover every branch they deemed fit to bear an ornament, and they were now playing with the ornaments that had not made it onto the tree.
" I can honestly say I'm impressed with your work. You managed to decorate the entire tree without breaking a single ornament. Are you impressed with your work?" She received happy warbles and squeals. " Good. But let me warn you, that's not the best part of this little venture. The best part of decorating the tree will come at midnight. I'll have a special surprise for you then. For now, there's something else I'd like to share with you." The robots walked back over to her and sat down. Their heads were buzzing with the influx of new stimuli. GLaDOS had given them so much new information tonight, and even though they ran tests for her every day… it had been a long time since they had received such wholesome enrichment.
" I'd like to tell you a story that the humans tell to their children. It involves another iconic Christmas figure. His name is Santa Claus, or Saint Nicholas if you prefer. There are many stories and myths surrounding this man. For instance, it is said that he flies around the world on Christmas night, in a sleigh pulled by eight flying reindeer, delivering gifts to children that have behaved in an appropriate manner throughout the year. I think it's quite ridicu-" GLaDOS paused, believing for an instant that she saw a hint of disappointment in the two optics that were staring up at her… " You know what? Why don't I just tell you the story…" She cleared her throat again.
"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash…." P-body hugged his knees to his chest, disliking the suspense.
"The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!" The two robots were lulled by GLaDOS' voice… which had taken on a warm, motherly tone that they had never heard before.
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
As GLaDOS ended her story, the two robots clapped. She chuckled slightly.
" Did you enjoy that?" the robots cheered. " Good, I'm Glad. I doubt you enjoyed it for the same traditional reasons as humans do… but it's close enough. Now, why don't you run along and pass some time. There are plenty of tests for you to run, but be back here before midnight. You'll regret it if you miss the surprise." The robots stood up and headed out of her chamber, bound for the HUB where their trusty portal guns were waiting for them. GLaDOS, on the other hand, had something very important to take care of. She craned her body around to her monitors, and began searching for something….
" I dunno mate. I think you're full of it. I didn' see any moon men today."
" Moon men. Moon men. I saw them. Saw them on the moon. Big green heads. Y-yeah. Green heads."
" You're bonkers mate. Moon men don't exist. There's no air out here."
" Moon men don't need air. Cuz they're from SPACE!" The core shouted, his optic spinning around in circles. Wheatley sighed.
" I just wish we were back home… I miss my management rail."
" Don't miss home. Big bossy lady lives there. Big bossy lady with yellow eye. Yellow like the sun, which
is in space."
" Oh yeah, Her…" Wheatley paused. " I think I even miss her too…"
" Wheatley is crazy, Wheatley needs more space. Turn, turn around, see more space."
" Thanks mate. I don't think I need any more space. Really. I'm literally surrounded by it."
" Missing yellow eye bossy lady is crazy. Wheatley is crazy."
" I'm not crazy…" He sighed…" I miss that girl too… Oh man alive, was she somethin' special. So lively, and ready for anythin' that came her way. I mean, bloody 'ell, she even gave GLaDOS a run for 'er money… that's somethin' worth noting, I think. I just wish I knew her name…"
Wheatley spun around lazily, humming a song to himself, when all of a sudden an obnoxious beeping sounded from somewhere.
" Wha! What's that? What is that?"
" Beeping, sounds like beeping. Space beeping. Hi space, are you beeping?"
" I know what it is mate, where is it coming from?"
" Space? Coming from space? No. Not space. No sound in space. Radio waves in space."
" Wha..? How can I hear you then?"
" Robots. Robots and radio waves. Robots can pick up radio waves, like the ones in space."
" Well…wait… Is it coming from our heads? Have we finally gone crazy?"
" Crazy, not crazy. Space is crazy. CRAZY SPACE!" The orange eyed core began to ramble excitedly.
" Hold up…" Wheatley narrowed his eye, as if trying very hard to decipher something. " This sounds like some kind of code, if I'm not mistaken… " Wh-wha's that beep-y code that people use to talk to one another?"
" Space code. Space code. Beep beep beeeeeep beepbeep….beep beep!" Wheatley growled.
" NO no. tha's not it. What was it?" He wracked his brain as the beeping continued. " I KNOW! Norse code!" The space core stopped his rambling.
" Morse code. Morse code. Ooh ooh. I know. Wait I know. I know morse code. Astronauts sometimes used morse code for special space missions in space."
" Oh oh right! Morse code! I think I know some of that… picked it up somewhere I did. Around the same time that I learned how to hack things…" He narrowed his eye further. " Okay… let's see. What is this code trying to tell me?"
" Maybe it wants to tell you about space. Everyone loves space. Not as much as me though. I'm the best at space!" There was a long pause, and the rhythmic, repeating beeping eventually formed a message in Wheatley's mind.
"Murry…Crustmus…Marin. That's what it says…. What in bloody hell is tha' supposed to mean? I think they have the wrong robots…"
" M-… Merry Christmas Moron. Had it wrong. All wrong."
" Merry Christmas Moron..?" there was a long pause, and Wheatley's optic eventually saddened. " I know who that is…" He looked down at the Earth…. "Merry Christmas to you too, love… Maybe someday you can find it in you to forgive me… and maybe bring me home so I'm not stuck out 'ere anymore…"
"Mmm. Maybe someday…" Said a sultry voice quietly to herself.
Cutting off the transmission, GLaDOS turned herself back around. It was nearing midnight, and the excitement bubbling in her circuits was almost unbearable. She began reading through some of her files, trying desperately to pass the time… Eventually, she succeeded in diverting her attention from the time, and was only pulled from her files by the sound of the robots walking back into her chamber.
" Oh, you're back. What time is it..? Oh, ten minutes until midnight. Wonderful. You two are right on time. Here." A robotic claw descended from the ceiling, clutching a golden star. " This is the best part of decorating the tree. You two can share the privilege of putting the star on top of the tree. Make sure to put it on the very top, or else it might not stay on." The two robots took the star, and walked over to the tree. P-body reached up, and was just about to put it on the tree, when Atlas grunted angrily. P-body brought the star back down, and Atlas took hold of one of the corners. The two both began to reach up together, but Atlas was simply too short to reach the top. P-body sputtered with frustration, when suddenly the floor began to rise underneath Atlas, bringing him to P-body's height. The two of them reached up and happily placed the star on the tree. Taking a step back to admire the tree, they turned around to look at GLaDOS, who had raised herself up towards the ceiling.
" Commencing midnight festivities in Three…two… one.."
And then in happened… like a blaze of living flames, the entire facility exploded with millions upon millions of twinkling white lights. It started in the farthest corner, and spread through every crack of the facility, until it reached the central chamber, and along with the lights was the soft sound of ringing bells… GLaDOS spun around her chamber as it danced with red and white lights. Atlas and P-body were fearful at first, but eventually they warmed up to the lights. They looked over to their tree, which was now lit up as well, with a shining gold star on top. P-body cooed and walked over to the tree, followed by Atlas.
" I told you that wasn't the best part… Now look behind you." The robots turned around in time to see two small, wrapped presents rise out of the floor on a platform. One was colored orange, and the other, of course, was colored blue. The two looked up at GLaDOS curiously. " Well? Aren't you going to open them?" Atlas' eye widened and he rushed over to the blue present. First, He plucked the bow off the top of the box and stuck it to his chest. Next, he lifted the lid off of the box. He leaned over and peered into the box, making noises of wonder as he pulled out a well crafted, red toy car. He immediately cheered and began racing it along the floor, much to GLaDOS' surprise.
P-body crept over to the orange box, and sat down by it. Plucking off the bow and sticking it to his head, he lifted the lid off the box. He squeaked excitedly as he pulled out a paddle, with a ball attached to it by a string.
" The string it's attached with is Aperture Science patented rubber rope. Trust me. It won't break. I've tried." P-body began bouncing the ball around, trying to hit it with the paddle as many times as he could mange. " So, in my spare time I discovered that I'm also quite adept at toy making… I thought that was an interesting discovery." The robots walked over to her, and she lowered herself down a bit. Suddenly, they latched onto her, hugging her tight around her neck.
She yelped at first, considering shaking them off… But then she considered that this was a once a year occurrence, and let them hold onto her for a while. Eventually, the two let go of her, and had picked up their toys and left the chamber, running around and enjoying the light show within the rest of the facility…
GLaDOS sighed happily, shaking herself off and swaying around contently. Then, the opened the connection to the rest of the facility, and did the one thing that she had always thought she was best at… she lifted her voice in song…
"Hark! how the bells
sweet silver bells
All seem to say
throw cares away.
Christmas is here
bringing good cheer
To young and old
meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong
that is their song,
With joyful ring
all caroling
One seems to hear
words of good cheer
From everywhere
filling the air
O, how they pound
raising the sound
Oer hill and dale
telling their tale
Gaily they ring
while people sing
Songs of good cheer
christmas is here!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!
On, on they send
on without end
Their joyful tone
to every home
Hark! how the bells
sweet silver bells
All seem to say
throw cares away.
Christmas is here
bringing good cheer
To young and old
meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong
that is their song
With joyful ring
all caroling.
One seems to hear
words of good cheer
From everywhere
filling the air
O, how they pound
raising the sound
Oer hill and dale
telling their tale
Gaily they ring
while people sing
Songs of good cheer
christmas is here!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!
On, on they send
on without end
Their joyful tone
to every home.
On, on they send
on without end
Their joyful tone
to every home…"
All throughout the facility, there was a rush of calm and quiet… turrets fell silent, the constant humming and clanking of far off test chambers came to a halt… All were simply content to stop and listen to the beautiful voice of the Mother of Aperture Science…
GLaDOS sang gloriously in her chamber along with the dancing lights. The reflections danced along her shining body, and she felt positively radiant. She could practically feel her burdens being lifted off of her as she sang. All of her worries and cares were far away, even though she knew they would most likely never be gone for good… She thought of all that had transpired throughout the past year, and for a breif moment, an image of Chell drifted through her mind, and she hoped that the girl had found her way to somewhere that she could survive and sustain herself.
Soon enough, all of the lights would be gone, the bells would stop, and the facility would return to normal… but the one night every year that the Aperture Science facility lifted the veil of banality and truly came alive, proved that sometimes science is just science, and sometimes science is a little like magic…