I do not own House M.D. or any of the Maximum Ride characters or the story/plot lines.

Welcome to the Hospital

Wilson walked in, eyebrows raised, and laid a clipboard down on House's desk. Taking one look at it House gave what Wilson believed was a sort of smile. "This," he said scooting out from under the desk, "is why I became a doctor."

******

"I don't believe you, Fang." I sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time this minute. But hey, give me a break! Mr. Idiot over here keeps winding us up in hospitals which are probably the worst possible place to be in the whole wide world when you're a mutant bird-kid.

Fang looked at me innocently as if all of a sudden I'd melt to the floor. "I didn't mean to, Max, honest."

"Aw, how cute, love at first sight!" Iggy cooed pursing his lips.

I growled swatting out my hand to hit him since glaring proved to be ineffective to a blind kid. "Shut it. At least we can see. And it's not first sight we've known each other forever, unfortunately."

Iggy chuckled shaking his head. "So I was right?"

I clenched my fist and hit him again. And for all you people against abuse out there, it was a love tap, not a punch. "I said shut up. If me and Fang had a thing for each other I'd be pregnant and you'd be out on the street."

"Jeez, Max. There are little kids around," Fang chuckled motioning with his good arm at Angel and Gazzy.

I was about to make some awesome retort and then give Fang one of my 'love taps' but some old geezer and his little posy came along in interrupting me. "Great! We got a doctor who can't even heal his own leg!" I moaned.

Mr. Geezer apparently didn't like that and his cane obviously didn't either because before I knew it I was on the floor. Aren't doctors supposed to make people feel better?

"House!" One of the men cried angrily – he had Australian accent. Weird.

"You're name's House? Isn't that what we call buildings?" I asked.

Whap.

"I'm not the one hurt you idiot! He his!" I said pointing at Fang who was on the verge of tears from trying not to crack up. Iggy and Gazzy didn't feel they needed to fill that courtesy.

House shrugged and walked into the middle of the room. "Who's the doctor here? You or me?"

"I hope you aren't."

Whap.

I scrambled to my feet and stood face to well I only came up to his shoulder, but let's say face. "If you keep doing that I swear my foot's going to be so far up your butt you'll be glad we're in a hospital."

House rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Like I haven't heard that one before." He limped over to Fang and raised his eyebrows. "What's up with the wings?"

Fang looked behind his back and gasped. "Oh no! When did those get there?!"

House rolled his eyes. "How did this," he poked Fang's hurt arm, some great doc he is, "happen?"

Fang looked at him innocently. "I fell."

"Don't lie."

"I wasn't."

"Everybody lies."

Some big, buff, black dude decided to butt in. "Expect him to say that a lot more. Why did we even take this case up? He did just hurt himself."

"Shut up," House growled. "What's with the wings?" He asked again.

"Don't you watch the news?" Iggy asked.

House turned to him. "Do you?"

Iggy grinned like mad. "I would if I could but I can't so I don't."

"You're blind," the girl said.

"Ding, ding, ding, You win a prize," House muttered. "Get some stitches and start him on pain killers. He'll be fine in the morning."

After everyone left he turned to me. "So wings, huh?"

"So legs, huh?" I asked mockingly. "Yeah we have wings. Whooped dee doo. Ain't we special?"

"No, Foreman's 'special'. Wilson's 'special'. The twenty year old who just learned to tie his shoes is 'special'. If it wasn't for short buses they'd be dead. You guys belong in a zoo."

"Oh no he didin," Iggy muttered.

"It's on old man."

I realize it's really stupid and probably sucks a lot but I really wanted to do a House/Max Ride fanfic so I did. Ha, what are you going to do about it?