AN: I haven't read the books in forever so sorry if I get anything wrong or if someone's OOC. This story kicks off a few minutes after City of Fallen Angels ends and takes the idea that Sebastian and Jace literally become one, like a split personality thing. Also I love Malec. But I didn't like Alec's sudden loss of feelings for Jace. So hum.
(also never stalk the Jalec tag on tumblr.) Title is from the Gregory and the Hawk song Boats & Birds
"We are one now, little brother, you and I. We are one."
Jace blacked out, that voice echoing through the darkness and when he awoke he was alone on the rooftop and Sebastian's body lay limp where it had almost been. His stomach turning, he leant in and pressed two fingers to his brother's neck. He almost sobbed with joy when he didn't feel a pulse.
When he got down to the lobby he found it empty but for Clary. She smiled as he walked towards her, "You look kind of pale." She remarked when he reached her.
He flashed her a winning smile, "Well it's not every day one is involved in a plot to resurrect a being of pure evil. Or possessed for that matter."
She looked convinced and took his hand, "Let's go, everyone else has already gone back to the Institute."
Jace nodded and swallowed, glancing back once as they left the building. He didn't understand how, but he could have sworn he heard a tut in his head when Clary took his hand.
Alec knew there was something wrong with Jace the minute he got back to the institute that day. He knew it the moment he saw his parabatai's eyes. When he'd asked Jace had brushed him off with a smile and a witty comment, but his hand had been shaking and Alec never missed anything about Jace.
And Jace knew it. So for almost two weeks now he'd been avoiding him. For almost two weeks he'd spent every waking moment with Clary or training and Alec was seemingly the only one worried. He'd asked Izzy if she thought something was wrong, he'd asked Clary too, and both of them had told him he was just being paranoid.
But Alec knew there was something.
He saw it in the way Jace occasionally cocked his head as if he were listening to a voice that wasn't there. And the way Jace ran his hands through his hair nervously, and chewed his lip and bit his nails when he thought no one was listening. But mostly he knew it by the way he'd hear Jace talking in his sleep some nights when he snuck passed Jace's room on his way back from Magnus'. At least he thought Jace was talking in his sleep. If he wasn't he was holding long conversations with himself, which was slightly more worrying.
Magnus was getting annoyed by Alec's constant worrying. He'd dismissed Alec's concerns by saying that anyone would be more than a little shaken by what had happened to Jace. It was understandable. But still...
"Alexander, what is the point in coming over here if you're just going to sit there and brood over your brother." Magnus said, sulkily from somewhere behind Alec. Alec pretended not to notice the emphasis on the word 'brother'.
"I'm sorry," he said, turning and smiling at the warlock who was standing with his arms crossed. "It's just he's my parabatai, I can feel there's something wrong."
Magnus smiled apologetically and came and sat beside Alec on the couch. "I know, I know, I'm sorry." He said, wrapping his long arms around Alec. "I still get jealous though."
Alec blushed slightly and Magnus chuckled, running a finger over Alec's cheekbone. "You're cute when you blush."
Alec smiled and knew he'd be sneaking back to the Institute in the small hours of the morning again. He had to stop doing this, he thought, he had training to do and then Jace to worry about and- oh. He stopped thinking when Magnus' lips met his own.
As he predicted Alec was again sneaking back home at gone 4 in the morning. The only one still up was Church who looked at him disapprovingly as he crept passed. He paused in front of Jace's door and again heard a low murmuring.
He was about to walk passed and crawl into bed when the voice from Jace's room got louder.
"What the fuck? No. Get the hell out!" Jace was saying, sounding enraged. "You can't be here!" then he laughed and said, "Oh, shut up."
Alec was understandably concerned and for a few moments he stood frozen outside his parabatai's door. He was just about to leave when the door swung open and he was met by a smirking Jace. "Evening Alexander, returning late from a night of wild warlock escapades, are we?"
"I-no...Jace!" Alec spluttered as Jace smiled wider.
"Then why, pray tell, are you lurking outside my bedroom door?"
"I..uh," Alec stammered. Now he was face to face with Jace all his well rehearsed speeches had dissolved. So he settled for saying, "I heard you mumbling in your sleep."
Jace's smile faltered so Alec added, "Are you okay? You've been weird since the hotel thing."
Jace held the door open wider, "Well you may as well come in."
They sat facing each other on Jace's bed, as they had done so many times before; since they were kids. But this time there something different about it. Jace's posture was rigid and he was refusing to me Alec's eye, instead he seemed focused on a loose thread on his sheets.
"I've been thinking lately," Jace said eventually.
"I didn't know you could do that, Jace." Alec said before he could stop himself.
Jace swatted him playfully and then looked away again. "I was thinking about Idris; that night when I asked you to kiss me and you didn't."
Alec flushed at the memory. It had been so tempting. He could have just...but he knew what Jace was doing and he knew that Jace hadn't wanted it. He looked up at Jace who was watching him closely through his golden eyes. "What about it?" he asked, trying his best not to let his voice shake.
"Why didn't you?" Jace asked quickly.
Alec blinked. "You-you..." he stammered. "You didn't...You were right." He said finally. "I didn't love you, really."
Jace smiled slowly, a slow predatory smile that would have looked more at home on a shark. "Is that true, though Alec?" Jace asked in a purr.
Alec's eyes widened as Jace drew closer. "Jace-" he began.
"Alec." Jace said, still smiling.
"Y-You know it's true. I'm with Magnus. And you're with Clary."
Jace nodded, "I know. But come on, you can't tell me you aren't the least bit curious?"
"You're drunk-" Alec said, backing away but Jace was too fast. He leant forwards and pressed his lips to Alec's.
Alec should have pushed him away. They were both taken. This was wrong. So wrong. But he didn't. He kissed back. And it was everything he had imagined.
Jace's kisses were like fire and as he drew Alec closer to him he began running his hands over Alec's body, leaving a burning trail behind. Alec shivered and Jace smirked and deepened the kiss, pushing Alec backwards and clambering on top of him.
Alec closed his eyes and let himself get lost in Jace. Jace his brother. Jace his best friend. Jace his first love. Jace his parabatai. Jace his soul mate. JaceJaceJaceJace.
When Jace pulled away Alec's head was spinning.
Jace smiled softly and ran a hand across Alec's cheek. "Sorry Alec, but I couldn't stop myself."
Alec sat up slowly. His mind was a hurricane, Jace kissed me. Jace kissed me. Jace kissed me. His heart was pounding. "Wh-Why?" he stammered.
Jace looked almost sorrowful. "I...I just wanted to know what it was like. We can talk about this tomorrow, yeah?" he said, in an entirely un-Jace-like tone.
"Uh, yeah." Alec said, once his brain had processed what had been said to him.