After8
For once in his work-life, Squidward was overpaid. Slash. Title has nothing to do with it.
Remember when I said in the author's note for Feint that I'd have After8 up by Christmas? I wasn't lying. And what's more, because of the Squidill angle to it, it can also double up as my Christmas contribution to the Squilliam's Jealousy Saga!
Yes, I am a dork.
Disclaimer: Must you keep insisting that I am ripping these guys off? Coz I'm not.
…
…Oowwwwwww…oooooh, crap, my head…
It wasn't a hangover. It was weights tied to his legs and head. Not made any more comfortable by the hard, hefty floorboards of his ---
Wait.
Hard hefty floorboards? Last time he remembered, he didn't sleep on the floor.
Uuuuuhhhhh…
He didn't want to open his eyes. He knew he had to, but denial prevented the brain from registering it. Maybe if he just pretended that he wasn't in a strange new location, he figured, things would go back to normal. Come on. Pretence. Pretence is the best medicine. I can breathe. I can breathe. I'm back home, in bed, with Squilliam massaging my back to wake me up. That's why it feels so weird. That's right. Yeah.
He opened one eye.
But he was met not with luxury, but with the face of a drooling Mr Krabs.
Who am I to think I'm entitled to have delusions?
God, this was too much to take in at once. What was next, him lying naked with only a dollar covering his profanities?
Speak of the Devil.
Geez, what happened last night?
OK, he went over it in his head. What did he do yesterday? For a while his brain fogged as he thought, wandering through a sea of nothing--
Wait – fragment of information here – yes --- another one. Something to do with a paycheck… or a bonus?
Hmm… wait… Hang on, he remembered it a little… he was supposed to pick up his last paycheck from the Krusty Krab, wasn't he? Yeah, before quitting. Quitting and living in with Squilliam.
Yeah.
And what did that have to do with this discomfort seizing his body? Geez, it felt like he'd been beaten up or something.
Maybe another memory refresher would help. Hmm, let's see. He went into Mr Krabs's office, asked for paycheck, blacked out for a while, felt the sensation of being fucked in his sleep, then he ----
His mind backtracked.
Krabs?
Fucking him?
"Mr Krabs, do we have to discuss this with the door locked?"
"Mr Krabs? What are you doing? Could you just give me my last paycheck and get this over with?"
"Mr Krabs?"
"What?"
"Mr Krabs, I just want my last paycheck."
"Uh, if you don't want me to get it, I totally understa--"
"Bonus."
"Huh?"
"Don't ye want a bonus, lad? It's only fair that after 10 years in my employ you get a bonus."
"Mr Krabs, did you –"
"Please, call me Eugene."
"…Eugene, did you get hit on the head or something?"
"Eh? Oh, nay, nay lad."
"Then why all this talk about bonuses all of a sudden?"
"Eugene?"
"Ay?"
"…Oh Neptune, Mr Krabs, is that ---
"Oh no. Ooh no you don't. I'm not going to be a party to this. Mr Krabs, please, just give me some money and I'll go. Please. Squilliam's waiting.
Mr Krabs – Eugene – stop – "
…
…
Krabs.
Fucking him.