Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warning: AU, crack, wtfness, the-reason-why-you-don't-combine-sleep-deprivation-anger-and-coffee
Misa chomped angrily on a Pocky stick as she stared at the grey wall. Her eyes were narrowed and there was an air of "everyone can go die in a hole" about her. No, Gokudera did not steal her coffee again. It was something much worse.
Mukuro and Chrome were Furby grapes running away from Dino.
Dino was chasing aforementioned Furby grapes dressed in a hula skirt and coconut bra.
Reborn was a magic ballerina dancing in The Sound of Music.
Bianchi was a giant nutcracker.
Fuuta had a pedo-moustache and was hitting on Nutcracker!Bianchi.
Lambo turned into a girl and was running after Shamal - who was terrified of girls - trying to get a kiss.
Gokudera was chasing Tsuna with a spork because he was trying to steal Gokudera's pineapple-lover.
Ryohei was Gokudera's pineapple-lover.
Kyoko was trying to bite people to death.
Hibari was in the corner pole-dancing.
Haru had Byakuran on a leash and was selling tickets for people to pet him.
"It's all a dream. It's all a dream." Misa was on the verge of a mental collapse. At least she still had her Pocky and coffee. That should help.
She reached for another Pocky stick, but quickly drew back her hand. Why? Because the Pocky were jumping out of the box, waving pretzel swords at her. Then, the Pocky's butt suddenly caught fire and it flew up into the sky where it exploded, raining down Monopoly money. Money which Yamamoto greadily gathered up, smacking anyone who came near with his trusty pimp cane.
Well, she still had her coffee. . .
NOT.
As she rose the cup to her lips, her beloved coffee materialized into Chibi!Fran.
"The coffee is a lie~! The coffee is a lie~!" Chibi!Fran sang in an opera voice as he belly-danced off.
Misa's glasses cracked and she curled in a ball. She wondered if this was what it was like to be shot with the desolation bullet and kicked in the solar plexus at the same time. . .
She also wondered if she should chase down Fran and nom on him. After all, he was made of coffee.
Author's Note:. . . .I literally have this document labeled as AUCRACKCOFFEEWTFNESS on my computer. Because it is au crack coffee wtfness. I don't even know how I got this. . .
Okay, I do. I'm sleep-deprived, pissed, and jacked up on coffee. The little part about Gokudera and Ryohei being pineapple lovers is because I saw a building that said 5955. It made me think of 5933. Don't ask why. It made me want to write a yaoi fic about that pairing, but stuff happened. . .Like this piece of craptasticness. I'm going to write a fic for Chibi-tan later. When, I remember the plot. . .
OHYEAH! And, any insane/sane-people-who-just-got-mindraped that read this, please go vote on my pole. It's a tie, and that's a darn shame. . .(why, idk. I'm nuts right now). You don't even have to read Guilty Pleasures. Just vote. Please? :3