Not Even Death, a fullmetal alchemist fanfic

-1Rating: M to be safe

Summary: The worst thing that could happen does. How Does Ed handle it?

(Horrible Summary I know but anything else would spoil it. I don't know any Betas so any constructive criticism would be Appreciated. This is my first fic.)

Pairs: EdXRoy and if you squint JeanxHavoc AlXWinry

Warnings: Character Death, Suicide, Blood, and Violence BL (Boy Love. If You don't like than Don't Read, all Flames regarding it will be ignored.) Slight AU maybe some spoilers.

Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I making any profit from Fullmetal Alchemist AKA Hagane no Renkinjutsushi. It is licensed by FUNimation and created by Hiromu Arakawa. If only I were as talented: Sigh: Alas I'm not thus Fanfiction.

Many, many, many thanks to Lady of the Northern Mountains correcting my atrocious grammar. Thanks for being my first beta for my first story sorry I didn't repost this sooner.

Notes:

BOLD character thoughts

Italics flashback

Red pooled around us, I hold you close trying to fight back the tears and the anger that is welling up deep with in me.

"How can you do this to me!" I yell, "You weren't supposed to ever leave me!"

Finally the tears come; I can't fight them anymore.

"Taisa?"

"Yes, Fullmetal." The dark haired man at the desk doesn't even look up.

"Taisa… I would like to request a transfer." The blond boy says hesitantly.

"And why is that?" Colonel Roy Mustang, the famous (or infamous depending on how you looked at it) Flame Alchemist, calmly looked up from his paperwork to the boy, no… young man he corrected himself, standing in front of his desk. Fullmetal calling me by my rank and being so shy when he's anything but that, why is he acting this way?

"Taisa, please..." Fullmetal kept his eyes trained on his black boots. Don't make me say anymore, please.

The man at the desk steeples his hands in front of his face trying to hide the shock he couldn't stop, but not in enough time to completely hide it from Fullmetal. Normally Edward would have been overjoyed at being able to crack the older Alchemist's cool composure, but right now all he cared about was getting out of that office. Shuffling his feet Edward looked down at his gloved hands.

"Taisa, please don't ask me why." He finishes. This is better, better then you hating me or being repulsed by me. Or laughing at me, treating me like a foolish child.

Straightening and regaining his composer Roy looked intently at him as if trying to see inside of him.

"Ed, what's going on?" His voice was soft as if he was honestly concerned.

Ed looked up, surprised at the use of his name and the tone of his Taisa's voice. Concerned for me… heh, I must really be out of it; this bastard's only concern is his rise through the ranks, why would he possible care for a lowly dog like myself. I'm just another tool for him, I'm sure that concern was for who might get to use me next and if it will work in his favor or against him. Laughing out loud he went over to the couch and slumped as deep into it as he could. Mustang was beginning to grow more and more concerned by the hysterical edge in the laughter.

"Edward, really, what's going on? Is there something we need to talk about? Whatever it is I'm sure it can be solved without the transfer."

Mustang stood now, leaning on the front of his desk; his usual smirk gone and his cool demeanor slowly giving way to the worry he felt. You can't do this Edward, if you leave how will I protect you. It was foolish he knew, and if Fullmetal knew he thought that way he would be angry. He never wanted anyone's help or protection, but he couldn't help himself; over the years he had grown to love the young alchemist. This is foolish; it will only bring ruin on all my plans, and he'll never feel the same way for me, although after he finishes being angry and ranting he'll probably find if highly amusing that he has the Great Flame Alchemist wrapped around his pinky. The sob from the couch broke into his thoughts.

"Bastard Taisa." A half sob half hysterical laugh.

"That's it, Fullmetal. This is an order, tell me what is going on!" Great, be angry, that's really helping here Roy. He regretted his anger as soon as he said the words, but he never was good at this sort of thing.

Finally it was all too much for the blonde chibi alchemist.

"Taisa, you bastard! Fine, if you want to make it an order!" He stood at attention, saluting the stunned man before him. "Sir, I am in love with you and have been for sometime, but you being the womanizing bastard that you are I know you can never have the same feelings for me. So if it pleases you, Taisa," He snarled "I would like to be transferred so I can move on!" He finished with another sharp salute glaring at the other alchemist, daring him to say something as foolish as the order he had just given.

Mustang, always cool, calm, and composed in any situation, actually slipped against the table he was leaning on and fell; trying to grasp what he had just been told. His mouth tried desperately to work, but his mind was unable to supply the words. He can't have meant that, I must be finally cracking up. Not even in my wildest dreams… I mean…. but he 'did' just say that, didn't he? If it had been any other time Edward would have been rolling on the floor and laughing at the look on Roy's face, but right now all the anger that had given him the courage to make that confession left him, and the hysterical feeling came back with tears. I…what was I thinking! I need to get out of here before he pulls himself together! He turned to flee the office, silent tears running down his cheeks, but a commanding voice came from behind him.

"FULLMETAL, STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Here it comes. He turned around slowly only to find himself looking right at the buttons of Roy's uniform. A gloved hand cupped his chin and pulled his gaze up to the smiling Taisa's face. That smile, no sarcasm, no anger, just an open smile. Mustang laughed and there was no mockery in it, just a little desperation for reason to come back to this situation.

"But Ed, I'm twice your age."

"Almost twice."

They both laughed, it sounded a bit crazy, but this moment was crazy wasn't it. Roy leaned down and did what he had wanted to do a very long; he pressed his lips gently against the blonde's. For a moment he thought he had gone to far. But then… Ed wasn't experienced like Roy. He was passionate and sincere in his clumsy return of Roy's kiss, and to Roy it couldn't have been more perfect.

Edward was surprised at the softness of Roy's lips as they pressed against his. Roy's warm mouth pressed against his in the gentlest of kisses, hesitant and so unlike this confident man. A feeling of protectiveness surged through Edward. He had never known the older man as anything but the sure, cocky Taisa, seeing this side of him brought out Ed's protective nature. He kissed the ebony haired man back, trying to put every feeling he had ever felt for him in that clumsy first kiss. When they pulled away remembering that it was a necessary to breathe, Ed looked at Roy strangely.

"What is it?" Roy asked, unsure of why he was being studied so intently.

"No mask" was all Edward said.

And it was all that was needed. All the years working of together and they finally truly understood one another. It only made the newly blossoming love and bond between them deepen.

"Ed?"

"Yes" Edward looked down at, Roy shaking himself from his contemplation. They had moved to sit on the couch. Roy had his head in Ed's lap and was looking up at the younger man who up until a few moments ago had been absent-mildly stroking his ebony hair.

"I love you too." He said, closing his eyes contently as Ed leaned down and kissed his forehead.

Now I sit here, cradling you now and slowly rocking you and sobbing, lost in my thoughts of the past.

That had been 4 years ago about, 3 months after my 17th birthday. Who knew we would really last and that we would become so inseparable. Just last year we had exchanged rings, a few choice friends who could be trusted with our secret were present. The only thing that had brought down the mood was the lack of Hughes' overwhelmingly cheerful presence, but there was good. Al had gotten his body back, and was able to stand beside me. On that day you promised me, Roy that you would never leave me. Thankfully I had talked him out of joining the military with me and he was safely far away from these horrors with Winry. All I wanted to do was protect you; keep us safe and finally find some happiness in this world, but our sins were too great.

"Taisa! Ed!" I hear the others yelling, I snap out of my thoughts of the past.

"Roy…" Leaning down I kiss your once warm lips now cold and lifeless.

Running boots getting closer. They're near but I know I have some time still.

They'll want to take you from me, Roy; I can't let them do that. I can't go on without you Roy. Not even death will part us; that's what we said.

The young alchemist notices the white gloves with the fire array sewn into them, amazingly clean in all of this. And the answer comes to him. He reaches down and carefully removes the left glove. It snags on something, but he gets it off with no other problems.

A simple titanium ring, that's what it caught on. The sobbing young man looks down at the similar band on his finger. The glove fits a little too big, but it will work for what he intends.

"Remember Roy, when you tried to show me, I was never very good with fire, not like you. But its ok, this doesn't need to be flashy; just one good spark is all I need. I know Roy, you would have liked it to be perfect."

You always had a careless grace I could never match. It was so natural to you. I really don't think you ever even thought about it. Did you even realize how perfect you were?

Boots sound just down the hall from where the fallen Flame Alchemist and the broken man Fullmetal are.

"Ed! Taisa!" The sound of doors being kicked in and the voices of their comrades sound through the hall.

The door swings in and Hawkeye burst in the room.

"Ed? Are you ok? Where is Roy?" Concern causes her to use Roy's name.

But Edwards doesn't have to answer, her eyes widen in shock when she sees the man she has spent her life protecting cradled in his lover's lap. There is enough blood pooled around them and on the walls to know that the man cannot possibly be alive. They had got the enemy, but at such a high cost. Then something strange catches her eye that isn't Ed's usual glove.

No, he can't, what is he doing with that glove on.

As soon as the thought went through her head she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Ed" Her voice is calm, soothing. "I know what you're thinking, but Ed, this isn't what he would want."

Havoc and the rest of the men are now standing in the doorway, watching, waiting, unsure of what to do. Ever the soldiers Mustang's motley crew of military dogs, they keep themselves controlled and collected even though their hearts and souls are screaming with the loss of their beloved leader. But this is still a dangerous situation; all it takes is a snap of Fullmetal's fingers to blow the place up. Havoc steps forward, putting a hand on Hawkeye's shoulder.

"Come on, boss" Havoc says, " Let us help you"

Hawkeye flashes him a look of appreciation… and starts to take a step forward.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" His voice firm and commanding, Edward pries his eyes away from his lover to look at his friends. There is nothing in his eyes, no emotion his voice, just the hollowness of finality. "I don't want to hurt any of you, but if you try to stop me I will."

"Ed."

"Boss, please."

"Please… tell Al it's ok," He's sobbing again; he presses his forehead to Roy's.

"Ed, you don't want to do this." Hawkeye pleads; tears in her eyes.

"You'll… You'll take him and I can't… I can't do this without him." The blonde gasps out between sobs, his eyes drift shut.

Havoc and Hawkeye see a chance to try and stop him.

So fast

That's the only thought that goes through their minds as the scramble back. Edward had pulled his other hand from under Roy's head and clapped them together, mouthing goodbye to them and as the blue alchemic sparks rose he slammed them down, creating a wall between them and him. Hawkeye was the first on her feet and started running towards the wall only to be grabbed by Havoc.

"No!" She turned on Havoc, trying to make him let her go. " I have to stop him."

"Riza stop!" He pulls her into an embrace. "Its to dangerous!"

The dead silence only lasts a minute. A snap of fingers, a blast of heat bursts over the wall, and the building shakes with the explosion.

"NO!" Riza falls to her knees, Jean still holding her.

I couldn't protect Roy and then I let the one he loved die only a few feet from me.

Then the men in the doorway slump against the walls, tears in their eyes the adrenaline gone and the truth of the situation finally sinking in. Two Great men, two Great Alchemist have fallen today, winning the battle was not worth this price.

"Riza…" Havoc strokes her hair, soothing her even when tears threaten his own eyes. "There was nothing you could do. They knew the risk they took and Fullmetal made a choice. You couldn't have stopped him."

She sobbed into his uniform until she had nothing left to give.

A few days later…

There was nothing left when they broke through the wall, only the ashes. They let the wind scatter them and collected two small vials; one for Al and Winry, the only family Ed had, and one for themselves, Mustangs dogs; the family he had chosen. But still there was a service held and one small head stone put up in memorial. The service had long since ended, but Al, Winry, Riza, and Havoc still remained.

"Brother… I hope you and Roy find the peace you couldn't find here, in the next life." Al took Winry's hand and started the walk back to their car. Jean put an arm around Riza and led her away to, but she couldn't help one last glance back to read the Headstone one more time. "Not Even Death Will Part Us. Roy & Edward" Now only their memories and this lone headstone remained of those two great men.