Strong Bad threw the controller for the Fun Machine onto the ground and started glared at it. "...freakin'... out of date.... machine...." It had just broken down on him again, and right when he was about to save a princess, win forty chocolate bars, and get a gold medal. Instead of trying to fix it, knowing that the last time he did he ended up having to do a battle of the bands, he decided to go check his email.
He started up the lappy ("Dooooong, diiiiiiing!"), and then typed in the regular program. "Eeeeeeeeeeemail! EeEeEeEeEmail! ...email." said Strong Bad, his usual email song.
But then, nothing happened. No email, no "File Not Found", not even a low blank beeping. Something was wrong. Strong Bad stared at it confused. "The crap? ...run... sbemails.... dot e.x.e!" Still nothing.
"Yeah, something's wrong here. There's not even a spam letter, or an annoying email asking me to draw Trogdor from Homestar or something!" said Strong Bad frantically. He tried accessing any other programs, but still nothing. The only one that worked was a virus scan. Strong Bad opened it up, and let Edgar drop a train on 'em.
Finally, when it was done, a message popped up signifying one new virus. Strong Bad chuckled. "Just one? Oh ho ho ho! Well, Mr. Virus, prepare to get... DELETED!" Strong Bad mashed onto the "Delete" button, but still nothing happened. "God damn it! I said deleted!" He pressed the button again, but still nothing. He furrowed his brow, and checked what the name of the virus was. .
"? Who in their right mind would name a virus after that annoying blue midget? And more importantly, why?" But he was soon answered as the lappy started giving off a distinct "Daaaaah" sound. Homsar's face appeared on the screen, and finally, the embodiment of no sense and paradoxes jumped straight out of the computer. Strong Bad fell back. "Fuck! What the crap, Homsar!? How-how'd you get in my computer!?"
"Daaaah, holes in the wall aaaaaalways make good spices!" Homsar replied, at which Strong Bad backed up a little. "Erm... listen. I'm dealing with enough retards as it is, and now that you broke the lappy, you have to fix it." He said, forcing his laptop into Homsar's hands. Homsar stared down into the screen.
"Daaaaaaah, I don't think boxes are able to helpiiiing, Strayung Badge!" Jesus. Homsar's language was harder for Strong Bad to understand than The Cheat's. Speaking of The Cheat, maybe he could do something about this. "THE CHEAT! GET UP HERE!" Strong Bad bellowed down to the basement where The Cheat was sleeping. The Cheat was Strong Bad's pet, lackey, and partner in crime. The Cheat ran over to Strong Bad, with a look of annoyed tiredness on his face.
"Meh meh meh, meh!? Meh meh meh meh!" The Cheat squeaked angrily. "I don't care whether you were dreaming about Lance Lancalot or Jimmy Creme! I need you to translate what this idiot over here is saying!" Replied the masked boxer man. The Cheat raised his eyebrows. "Meh... meh meh meh meh!" The Cheat inquired smugly. Strong Bad rolled his eyes. "Yes, I am saying this on account you know at least 15 different languages. Now get to the translatin'!"
The Cheat turned around to face Homsar. "Meh. Meh meh, meh?" He asked. "Dauauah! I'm the mandibular colestream." The Cheat also became confused by this response, but before he could say anything else, another voice started ringing into the room. "Stwong Bad! Little cheese man! I gots a somethin' to say to you guys!" Strong Bad sighed. "Homestar, I have no time for this! Your little pain in the ass of a clone thing broke the lappy, and The Cheat and I can't figure out a word he's saying!" Homestar looked at the lappy with a look of exaggerated worry. "Don't wowwy, Stwong Bad! I'll come up with a solution!" He promised, and made an expression like he was thinking up the answers to the hardest math test in the world.
Finally, his propeller on his cap spun really fast, indicating he had an idea. "I've got it! I'll twanslate! I do speak fluent Homsaw." Strong Bad woke up, and stared at Homestar in disbelief. "It took you, what, 12 minutes to think up that? Perfect. Now wake up that thing and tell me what he's saying!" He said irritably. Homestar ran over to Homsar, and shook him awake.
Homsar looked around. "Duaah... bright lights aren't my maaaain shtreeme..." He murmured sleepily. Homestar shook his head. "I don't cay-uh! You bwoke Stwong Bad's computa box, and now we have to fix it!" Strong Bad and The Cheat glanced nervously at eachother as the strange conversation began.
"Daaaah, It's good, frankly I'm not nice at easy medium hards..."
"Yes, I know it would be, but Stwong Bad's my best fweind, (Strong Bad coughed a "NoI'mnot") and we just HAVE to help him!"
"I'm not understanding the concept art of this breadtangle!"
"Well, it depends. How did it bweak?"
"Daaaah, the pizza man didn't like my objects, and then it punched a hole in space. Duauauauahn, I met Mr. Green-Arms, and he stole the box's generator!"
"Oh... I see. Then you'we wight. It will be pwetty hawd. But I bet if I we had the wight team, it would be easy enough!"
"Auauaua imply."
Homestar ran back to Strong Bad, and told him the story.
"Stwong Bad! Homsaw met up with Bubs, and twied to talk to him, but Bubs didn't like him, so he told him to go away, and then Homsaw got angry, and a wip appeawd in space-time! Then he went to the video game wowld, and met Twagdo! He thwew him into you'we computa and then stole all of it's powa! Now me, you, The Cheat, and Homsaw all have to go and get it back!" Strong Bad stared at Homestar, and The Cheat fainted. He then chuckled. "Knowing your small mind, it would've taken a lot longer for you to make that all up, so I'm strangely believing you. But Trogdor!? Yeah, why not cut off my head while you're at it! We need a better group than just the four of us!" Homestar glanced at Homsar. "What if..." Homestar began, then turned back to Homsar's direction.
"Homsaw, do you think that if The Cheat was in a bettah condition, we might have an easiah time?" He said to Homsar. Homsar nodded, and looked at The Cheat, who made nervous squeaks and slowly backed away.
"AaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaA" Homsar rang out, his hat rising up into the air and ripples flying through the room straight at The Cheat. In a bright flash, The Cheat didn't look at all like The Cheat.
He was human.