"It's over, Bella."

I couldn't breathe. This couldn't be real. He couldn't leave me surely he couldn't.

I opened my eyes to find myself in my room, in the dark, all alone. He could leave me, he had. My eyes burned. I cried myself back to sleep.

* * * * *

Months later, Bella never heard Edwards voice...

I lean against Jacob, staring into the flames. Around the fire are the rest of his pack, Billy, Quil Ateara, Jared's girlfriend Kim, Emily and the Clearwaters. Billy has just finished his story of the Quileute tribes ancestors, the first werewolf. One of Jacobs arms hangs loosely around my shoulder, the other is shoving a fistful of something into his mouth. Kim leans against Jared, half asleep. I gaze across the fire at Leah Clearwater, at the shine on her face where the firelight reflects her tears.

I consider my position, compare it to hers, with much less animosity and pain then I have felt in a long time.

I catch sight of her peering at Sam and Emily, blissful in each others love, hurt painfully obvious on her beautiful face. At least when he left me, he left me alone, with only my memories to pain me. When Sam left her, he left her to watch him happy with his new life.

I turn my face so my cheek rests against Jacob's warm chest, and his arm tightens significantly around me. I was left with a shining sun to help me keep going. A shining sun who loves me more than I believe I can return.

I tilt my face so I can see the gleam in his dark eyes as he teases Paul, feel the rumble in his chest as he laughs at his own joke. And I feel thankful for his friendship, for his patience. I contemplate the idea of at least trying to return part of what Jacob has given me, which is by all standards a lot. A reason to live at the very least, when I could think of no purpose for me to other than the hurt it would cause my parents, and the promise I made him when he left.

Jacob, the bandage for my wounded heart, holding the pieces carefully in place.

"Are you ready to leave, honey?"

His warm voice washes over my head, the endearment softly spoken.

"Mmm."

My eyes have drifted closed as I thought about him and I feel Jacob rise now, lifting me into his warm arms in a fluid motion, carrying me to his prized car, depositing me softly on the front seat.

The car rumbles to a start, comforting me, helping me ease into sleep.

* * * * *

I wake in Jacobs bed, light reflecting around his small room. The smell of bacon encroaches upon my senses. I lay quietly, sniffing the air, enjoying the aroma.

The door swings open and Jacob enters carrying a plate piled high with food, a ridiculous ruffled apron tied around his waist.

"Breakfast, Ma'am."

I laugh at the picture he presents.

"What? Do you see something funny?" He playfully stares around, looking for the source of my amusement.

"I could get used to this kind of treatment, Jake."

"I hope you do, Bells, then you'll never leave."

I lower my face to the blanket, pick idly at a loose thread.

He is immediately regretful.

"Sorry. I didn't mean..."

"It's ok, Jake."

He places the plate on a little table beside the bed. Turns back. I can feel his gaze bore into the top of my head. A flush rises in my cheeks.

"I could make you happy Bella."

"You already do."

"I mean, as a boyfriend. We could be happy together."

I sigh; continue to pull apart his bed.

"I know I'll always be second choice. I'm ok with that, really."

Finally I look up at him, wearily.

"You deserve better than that, Jake. You should be someone's number one."

"Better your number two."

He continues to gaze at me, his eyes soft.

"And you could live with that, really?"

His eyes gain an eager light, and he hops up onto the bed next to me.

"I could live with anything if it meant I had you."

"I need some time to think, Jake."

"As long as it takes, honey."

We eat the food in silence - Jacob having most of my share as well as his own - before he drives me back to Forks. He pulls his Rabbit to a stop in front of my house, turns to me one final time, grabbing my cold hands in his hot ones.

"I'll be waiting, Bella. As long as it takes." Then he surprises me with a gentle press of his lips on mine.

It doesn't have the heat and passion of my kisses with him, but it feels nice, like arriving somewhere safe and warm.

I stumble out of the door to his muffled chuckle. My clumsiness frustrates me, and I stalk up the drive to the door before half turning to watch him slowly drive away.

I creep in quietly, but I needn't have bothered, Charlie has obviously gone fishing again. I head straight upstairs, quickly brush my teeth and change into a pair of baggy track pants and a tee, before throwing myself over my bed, remembering.

I allow the tears to trickle down my cheeks as I force myself painfully through the memories of nights with him; laying next to me, resting my head on his cold, marble-like chest. How different it would be to fall asleep next to Jacob, his searing heat, his soft skin. I remember the nights after I first met him, tossing and turning, fitful dreams, later finding out he had been watching over me as I slept.

I want so badly to stop feeling, stop hurting, to be able to give Jacob what he deserves, without anything else getting in the way. Making decisions has always been the hardest part for me.

I struggle with myself for a while longer, unsure of the right thing to do, eventually conclude with a desire to make everyone happy. Hopefully it will lead to my happiness too. With my choice made I can relax, and I fall back to sleep, still fully clothed, worn out from my misery.

* * * * *

Unfortunately, falling asleep in the middle of the day means waking up at an ungodly hour of the morning. I roll over squinting through the dark at my alarm clock; four am. Too early to call Jacob. To early to do anything.

I slide out of bed, sighing in frustration at my lack of options, and turn my computer on. While I wait for it to slowly load up, I change into jeans and a clean top, brush my teeth and hair. I return to my computer, which has finally loaded, and sift through my pile of emails. Mom, Mom, Angela, Mom. The usual. I reply quickly to them all, delete all the junk. Right at the bottom; Alice Cullen. I almost crash my computer in my eagerness to open the email, clicking on it repeatedly.

Bella,

I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I'll miss you.

Alice.

I re-read the lines time and again, searching for any possible hidden meaning, looking for the feeling behind the words. In the end I am forced to accept they are exactly as they appear; a final goodbye from my friend. In some ways I'm glad, it helps to reinforce the decision I have made, the certainty that they are gone and that I have to make myself move on to some degree. Just in case I reply, zipping out of the screen quickly to find a failed posting message. The Cullens are nothing if not thorough,

I turn my computer off, cross to my curtains, and pull them aside. Finally, light. Grabbing my coat and my keys, I head down the stairs, passing through the kitchen to snatch a breakfast bar, and then creep out to my car.

Once inside I slump against my chair, butterflies invading my stomach, wondering if I am doing the right thing. I know no matter what he would always be in the back of my mind, and I can't help but wonder if giving the half of me that was alright away would be enough to satisfy Jacob in the end.

I steel myself, determined that I would always make him feel like it was enough, turning the key in the ignition with more force than is technically necessary. The drive to La Push seemed a lot longer and definitely lonelier than it ever had before.

* * * * *

My truck rumbled to a noisy halt in front of the Blacks home. I barely had time to open my door before Jacob was loping over, looking exhausted but elated.

"Bella! Didn't think I'd have the pleasure of seeing you again so soon."

Screwing up whatever fragment of courage I had left, I took a deep breath...and stumbled out the door. Again. So much for my big gesture.

Jacobs muscular arms wrapped around me before I could fall face first in the mud, warm and comforting. All I had to do was tilt my face up to his and kiss him, softly, on the only place I could reach. The hollow of his throat.

I felt him stiffen, saw hope warring with disbelief in his gaze.

"Bella?"

Unable to actually answer him like a normal person, I took another breath and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his very willing face towards mine, brushing my lips against his.

He responded with a heat and passion that melted my legs, covering my mouth with his, pulling me in so tightly my breath whooshed out. He forced my lips apart with his tongue, touching it to my own.

My tears mingled with the kiss, and he pulled away from me reluctantly.

"Are you sure, Bells?"

"As sure as I'll ever be, Jake." I tried to hide my melancholy, but he knew me so well.

"Let's take things really slowly. How about a date? Movies tonight? Something gory and pathetic."

I nod, still trying to check the flow of dampness pouring down my face.

His dark eyes grew determined as he took my hands into his.

"I'll make you happy, Bella, I promise I will."