Disclaimer: I don't own
Life bored him to death.
Life on L-5 had been easier, he was smart, had his books and pessimism to keep him company.
Life then too had been boring.
After the first war, he lost all his purpose and reason for his passion for life. His revenge was complete, but it was cheated out of him. Haunted by the memory of Treize Kushrenada, he fought mindlessly during the Mariemaia uprising since there was nothing else for him. Soon he realised that the cause he was fighting for would perform the same forms of atrocity as was done before in the first war. Changing sides in the end, helping stop the revolution did not cleanse him of his feeling of guilt and worthlessness.
Life bored him further.
With meeting the other pilots, learning to join forces with them, fighting for a cause that no one supported, becoming the sole survivor of his clan -- he had matured. Emotions rampant, his revenge and passion for searching out the meaning of his existence managed to keep him sane.
However his sanity was questionable when he realised his body's thirst for one man. The man who lived for his missions and that princess of peace. Ashamed he would punish himself rigorously hoping to cleanse his mind and soul of his cursed thoughts. However, he soon lost control as was seen in the Mariemaia Uprising.
Finally acknowledging that he needed something more to carry on his monotonous existence, he thought to plead his case. Only his timing was wrong and he heard another confessing to his love. Turning on his heel he walked away.
Life was going to be boring.
Preventers managed to wrangle him into accepting a position as a field agent. Motivated by justice, life became a little more palatable. The other pilots kept in touch, since no one shared a bond as strong as theirs.
However, life was still boring.
That was until he showed up. To become his partner, taking Sally's place. That was when everything changed in the life of Wufei Chang.
Glaring at the sheets of paper that were to be his report on the latest mission accomplished, he heard the quiet strong words of his partner to a giggly voice, and frowned. A hot cup of tea shoved in front of his face a few seconds later, broke him out of his thoughts.
Life was boring. But now…
Shaking his head in response to the silent question lurking in the murky blue depths he had looked into, he snatched the tea, grunted a thank you and focused on his work.
There really was no sense in thinking about all this now; he had to finish his work.
---
Life had been boring him to death. That was until he showed up.
Heero Yuy, the love of Relena Peacecraft's life, the darling of the Preventers, the peacekeeper of the world, the hunk of all the female [and some male] agents wet dreams, also the nuisance in his boring life.
//The love of his life//his traitorous mind whispered to him.
Abruptly crushing those thoughts, Wufei turned towards the nude body resting in the bed with him. Heero Yuy, the boy turned man, who had taken 5 years of chasing to get into Wufei's bed. Finally!
However, ever since Heero Yuy had been conquered by Wufei, things became complicated. Wufei found himself becoming unlike himself. He had hoped it was not obvious. Then the-quiet-unassuming-low-key-discreet-not-one-to-be-trusted-by-Wufei-anymore Barton had smirked and pointed it out. Winner had smothered his giggles saying he was happy. Maxwell had cackled that it was good Wufei had finally got that piece of stick out – he had not finished what he was saying, since for some reason Yuy had kicked him under the table. Wufei knew he had missed something, but could not be bothered since he was worried.
Worried, since for the first time, there was an anxiety that filled his heart that he could not understand. Mind still lingering over trying to pick apart his thoughts, Wufei shifted in bed and winced.
//My hips are sore// he thought glaring at the peaceful slumbering face of his bed mate and immediately wanting to cause him harm.
It had become tiresome to have to let Heero in, or to have him wait outside his door that Wufei had lent him the spare key.
//Big mistake there.// Testing his hips, Wufei sat up in bed, //he lets himself in whenever he wants. Never mind if I am sleeping, or in the shower or want to be alone, he just waltzes in ravishes me to his heart's content without considering me and then promptly passes out.//
Wufei grumbled to himself bitterly, //It's always sex with him. Sex, sex…//
That anxiety made itself known in his heart again. Irritated, Wufei raised his right hand, closed it into a fist and brought it down hard on Heero's head.
"Urgh…" a sleepy mussed head raised itself up and turned equally sleepy eyes on the Chinese pilot. Grunting a little, the head plomped back onto the bed and rolled over to drag Wufei down into bed under the covers. Wufei struggled out of the iron grasp and yelled, "I'm not all brawn like you, Yuy. My body cannot handle the sex every minute, every time, every night, anywhere-will-do that you crave. Damn it, let me go you bastard."
Struggling some more against the straying hands that were following up his thighs and over his rump, Wufei decided that yelling was his only discourse, "Stop it Yuy! It's too damn early in the morning to deal with a sex-crazed maniac like you. I can't sleep because you insist on doing it 5 times every night!"
"…I cut it down to twice during mission nights," Heero's sleep amused rough voice replied.
"Oh, thank you so much, that is very considerate of you," Wufei snapped sarcastically.
"What can I say, you just get me hard. So feisty in the morning too," moving his erection against Wufei's leg, "I just want to enter you deeply," Heero murmured roughly, while placing small nips and kisses on Wufei's stomach and hips.
"…your phone…" Wufei said choking off the moan that was about to escape, not bothering to escape that heavy body laying on top of him anymore.
Heero's hand snaked out, flipping the phone to talk, while he attacked Wufei's weak spots. The voice on the other end had him stiffening and launching out of bed. Disconnecting the phone, Heero headed to the bathroom and in five minutes he was out the door saying, "I have a meeting with Relena. I will finish what we started tonight."
Pausing near Wufei to give him a soft kiss, only to be stopped short by a cold, "Just go!"
"..hn," and Heero paused for a second unsure and abruptly turned on his heel for his all important meeting.
Hearing the door closing, Wufei's shoulders slumped.
//I understand the anxiety I went through getting him into my bed. But this anxiety after getting him, is what I don't understand. It's just more taxing, more frightening…Why is it every time the princess calls he can drop everything, even the sex he craves with me, to run to her?//
Life can get boring.
---
"Damn it Yuy, wait…we just got inside… unh…"
"Hn."
"..ah…at least wait till …the bed…ahh…Yuy…"
"…Heero."
"..wha…Nnnh…ahhh?"
"Call me Heero!"
"..un…ahh… can't …you…ahhhhh…"
They had been attending some charity gala and had managed to get away finally, only to have Heero pounce on Wufei in the hallway of his apartment.
"Heero. Say it Wufei."
"Ahhh…unnhhh…"
Heero pulled out from Wufei, only to shove him against the door, and thrust into him hard and fast, making Wufei cum. Heero felt Wufei tighten around him and came just as violently as his lover. Catching his breath, Heero caught hold of Wufei and slowly they slid to the floor.
Heero slid a finger into Wufei which came out slicked making the Chinese pilot gasp deliciously. The finger was placed on Wufei's mouth and without thinking he lapped at the finger hungrily.
Heero's amazed voice brought him out of his euphoria, "You like it?"
Stiffening when he realised what he had done, the blue-eyed pilot continued, "Does that mean..." Wufei shoved at Heero's arms around him and made to get up.
"What's wrong?" Heero asked seriously trying to hold on to Wufei.
"Ask me first before you attack me. And don't come over whenever you feel like a fuck Yuy," Wufei's eyes glared hard and black at Heero, disregarding the shock he could feel from the Japanese pilot.
"I told you this morning that I cannot deal with your sex-crazed ways. You are not the one being penetrated, you are not the one at the mercy of your horny appetite."
Taking a deep breath, Wufei extracted himself from the stunned pilot, standing up he glared down and said, "Don't enter my house without my permission!"
Shocked at the outburst of his tirade, Wufei was further shaken when Heero stood up calmly, adjusted his clothes, left his key on the side table in the hallway, and walked out. The door shutting in the room sounded so hollow and final that Wufei almost walked out to drag Heero back and apologise. However he was rooted to his spot.
Crumbling to the floor, he brokenly whispered, "why…? You were with her the whole morning, and then at this event. And then you …why do you treat me as a toy for your sex relief?"
"...why Heero..?" but only silence met Wufei's pain-filled question.
Shuddering when he felt a draft, Wufei stood up and picked up his dress pants and underwear and headed towards his bed.
Life was going to get boring again.
---
There really was no one to blame. It was his fault. Rebelliously he tried to reason, they had fought over a lot of things before. Always Heero came back within minutes to apologise to acknowledge that Wufei was right. Even if he did not agree with Wufei, he would give in and the discussion would take them to the bedroom.
Flicking his phone open again, and then rechecking his inbox, he let out an impatient huff of breath. This was his punishment he supposed. For being so high strung, so anxious, so afraid.
Two weeks now and there were no messages and no calls from Heero. He had seen the other pilot the next day at office but only from a distance and had heard that he was sent out on a solo mission immediately. Then Maxwell had joined Wufei to work on another mission. Thankfully, the other pilot had not mentioned anything and had continued with his incessant mindless chatter.
In fact the other pilot was doing just that right now, standing in the centre of Wufei's office talking about some random custom of playing pranks on everyone for a day. Tuning him out again, a name snapped him back into the conversation.
"…Heero agreed too. So we are hanging out together on that day and we are all gonna combine our strengths and play all the pranks we can think of. You will join wont'cha? It will be awesome, the Gundam team, we will be unstoppable –"
"You want me to join in?" Wufei interrupted to make sure.
"Yeah, that's what I have been sayin'-"
"…to play pranks with all of you…?" Wufei really wondered if the braided pilot was losing his mind.
"…" Maxwell was looking at him dubiously now and swinging the end of his braid as if he were in deep thought over something.
"I think I will pass on this…custom Maxwell," he replied curtly and turning to review the documents on the drug baron that they had to shadow.
There was silence for a good five minutes before it was shattered by the braided idiot again.
"So…," ignoring Wufei's sigh of annoyance Duo continued, "you are really a stubborn bastard."
That caught Wufei's attention, and raising his eyes to glare at Duo, "For not agreeing to play some silly game? You can't –"
"Oh no, buddy. I could care less about the silly tradition myself. But you have got to be the most thick headed jerk I have had the pleasure of being best pals with. You stick to those rigid ways and manners of yours that you do not see what is in front of you. Every chance you get you shove everyone away from you and when you succeed you just pout like a spoilt rotten child and snap and chew everyone's head off. If you want to be this miserable, you might as well be dead Chang!" Duo yelled the last bit out at him, making him wince.
He was not sure what he had done, but he was in trouble. Those snapping violet eyes were spitting fire, no wait, he had called him 'Chang'.
//Shit.//
"…err–"
"Why can't you just admit that you love the guy already? I mean, would it really kill ya to make a quiet admission to the person you sleep with? Or you just wanted the fuck?" Duo was raving mad by now.
"Now wait a–" Wufei was starting to get upset too.
"Everyone wants reassurance in this world Chang. They need to know that the one that they are sleeping with loves them in return. Must you cling to your misery that much? It's obvious to all of us that you are in love with him …"
Wufei felt his cheeks burn over those words. Love, he was in love with Heero? And did Heero love him back.
"And he loves you too."
Snapping his head up, eyes wide he looked at Maxwell trying to figure out if he was joking, but seeing the serious eyes he looked away.
"…what are you so afraid of Wufei?" Duo asked him gently. "Letting another person see us in our lowest moments? Someone seeing behind the masks that we show the world every day? WHAT?" The last was asked with a little more steel in it that had Wufei wincing a little.
There was no way he could keep his mouth shut, Maxwell would tear it out of him if he had to.
"..He can't love me," he mumbled a little, still hung on the previous statements from Maxwell. There was no way…
"Heero?" Duo asked confused, "And why not?"
"…he…ever… Relena is…," Wufei had no idea how to explain.
A hand falling on his head gently, had him slowly peek up, "Yeah, she loves him," turning his eyes downwards wanting to move away, the next words had him looking back at Duo, "but he was and is in love without someone else. He could never and will never love her. He just feel this urge to protect her and that's all he is capable of doing for her."
Removing his hand from Wufei's head, Duo continued earnestly, "It's alright to love 'Fei. It's alright to let people into your heart. We love you, and we want to be there to share everything with you. We are your family, can't you see that? We are each other's family and each other's reason to live. So live a little and forgive yourself already Chang Wufei."
Wufei stared at Duo's eyes, the violet irises showing him how much he cherished cared and protected the Chinese pilot. Drowning in those irises he soaked in the warmth there trying to gain his fill. However his anxiety -- was still there.
Shaking his head he mumbled, "I don't know if you are really brilliant, or if you just talk a lot of rubbish."
Scratching his head a little and looking thoughtful, Duo replied, "Yeah…I dunno that myself…but you still love me!" and gave Wufei a saucy grin.
//Hmm, Life… how can it be boring with him around.//
---
Wufei was lounging on his couch still pouting over Heero not contacting him. His mind was ruminating over what Duo had said, however, now in the silence of his apartment he was doubting it all over again.
Why would Heero love him anyway. What had Heero seen in Wufei? Panicking a little, Wufei wondered if his words from before would have permanently chased off Heero. Gasping, he sat up on the couch and wondered frantically if this was the end of what he could have had with Heero.
//Is this the end? Do I have to go back…to that loneliness that emptiness… Oh God.//
He was a fool. He needed Heero. He could not survive without him…
The sound of the phone had him breaking into his thoughts, and looking at the caller id, he noted that it was Heero. Wishing he had called on the house phone so he could see him through the vid screen, he picked up the call.
"Yuy."
//…Heero!//
"…I'm almost curious to see how many people you scared away with that tone, Wufei."
"…I'm going to hang up now," Wufei all but growled.
//He really called. Finally.//
"You don't see or talk to me for almost 3 weeks and you are so cold to me. You could be nicer Wufei," Heero's amused voice floated through the connection and Wufei clutched on to it as if his very life demanded it.
"Bastard. Who told you to call so late?"
//I missed his voice…//
"I had a mission. Just got back 3 days ago," Heero provided efficiently.
"Oh, so now you have time to call me," Wufei growled still unsure of how to proceed.
//I wanted…//
"What do you want from me Wufei?" Heero said quietly over the phone, "I missed you."
"Liar! You just missed the sex," Wufei challenged.
//What about Relena…//
"Is what we have? Just sex?"
Wufei almost whimpered over the phone at the painful tone of Heero's voice.
//Is it...?//
"Wufei…?" Heero asked softly.
//Just sex? Is it?// Wufei thought frantically.
"Wufei!" Heero called out in a firm tone.
"NO!" Wufei yelled. "No, alright. I don't think its just sex," he continued a lot more fervently but softly.
//It's just that…//
"Hn."
"I…"
//I still…//
"Wufei, what do you want from me? Think about it carefully," Heero asked patiently.
//What do I want? I want YOU! Just you.//
"Yuy…I…" Taking a deep breath, closing his eyes and sagging against the couch Wufei continued quietly, "I want to see you."
There was silence on the other end and then, "…that's it?"
Getting a little upset and irritated Wufei said, "Damn it Heero. I was going to…I would have confessed to you 5 years ago if Relena had not beat me to it. You went away with her and then you came back. I thought I could get over loving you, but I can't. I need you in my life. You came back and made me fall in love with you, so if there is anyone to blame it is you–"
"I'll take the blame," Heero said as he walked into the living room towards Wufei's couch.
Looking into Wufei's wide eyes, "I'll take the blame. Sorry I came in unannounced," flipping the phone shut, "I was waiting for you to get in touch with me. I had forgotten that I had fallen for a stubborn lover. Now I am a little relieved though."
Plonking himself gracefully on the couch next to Wufei, Heero pulled him closer to him and dropped a light kiss on his mouth.
A little out of sorts Wufei asked confused, "Relieved?"
Smiling Heero nuzzled his cheek and whispered in his ear, "It's the first time you said you loved me," sending shivers down Wufei's spine.
//Oh!//
Wufei had never once mentioned he had loved Heero.
"Your body is very honest though, and I got my reassurance that way."
Nodding Wufei called himself a fool for not realising that Heero was unsure of his love too. //So Maxwell was right. But I'm not ever going back to him to admit that.//
"So the reason you constantly crave sex…"
"Hn. I can temper myself down if you just tell me you love me." Using his right hand to draw Wufei's face towards his, Heero said, "Though really there are other ways of letting me know that you love me too."
Rubbing the pad of his thumb over Wufei's bottom lip, giving him a hint of the other ways Wufei could express his love. Not having to be told twice, Wufei pounced on Heero and kissed him for all he was worth. He poured his love into the kiss, the love he had for the Japanese pilot for all these years, for the love Wufei needed from him. For the love and the life that was no more boring thanks to the Prussian-eyed pilot.
Breaking apart when they needed air, he nipped at Heero's bottom lip suckling on it some more, and then recaptured the mouth to again show Heero how much he loved him.
Coming up for air again, Wufei was spread atop Heero on the couch, and the Japanese pilot was kneading his butt deliciously and nipping at his collar bone. Moaning loudly, Wufei felt safe and reassured. Heero did love him no matter what. Heero had insecurities like him too. He would have to learn to communicate if he wanted to hang on to this relationship till the day he died. He would have to change.
"I love you," he moaned.
"I love you too Wufei," Heero murmured huskily, "No one else, not even her. Just you."
Languidly turning himself over to the mastery of his lover, Wufei acknowledged it was not so bad to change for someone he loved. He needed Heero, and for some reason Heero did not want Relena. So he would take it with both hands and not shy away. He would never shy away, he corrected. Wufei would hang on to Heero and not give him a reason to leave him.
Life was never going to be boring now or ever. He had his reason and his purpose. And he would be Heero's reason and purpose too, if he wasn't already.
a/n : I have been travelling for a bit and was meaning to have a new chapter up for 'Breaking Gundam Pilot 01', but that did not happen. So this is a little apology sort of piece for my readers and reviewers. As always reviews, criticisms would be greatly appreciated. I certainly hope that I have captured the true essence of both these lovely characters.