A/N - This is a silly AU-ish oneshot I thought up today. Alex Myers is my OC, everyone else belongs to Fox. Set between Days Five and Six, but Jack doesn't get kidnapped by the Chinese, so he's there to witness the silliness.
"Chloe, sweetheart! Lovely to be working with you again!", a Cockney accent rang out as a short, bald man walked towards Chloe's workstation.
"You better not be drunk, Morris", Chloe warned, as her ex-husband approached her and attempted to give her a kiss on the cheek, before she quickly moved her head away.
"Me, drunk? Not today, and not for a good couple of years, darling", Morris replied, a look of mock hurt showed on his face first, before a cheeky grin replaced it. As he was walking towards his station, Morris stared in shock at another CTU employee.
"Bloody hell!", he exclaimed, attracting the attention of most of the office. He stared at Alex for a few moments, sure that he met him before. Approaching quietly to make sure that Alex hadn't noticed him, he stood behind him.
"Strange to see you here", He spoke quietly, his voice almost a whisper. Alex lifted his head and turned around slowly and, for a second, Morris could tell that Alex remembered him. Alex, however, was determined not to give him any more signs that he did.
"I think you've got me confused with someone else", he told Morris flatly, before turning back around.
"No, I haven't, Joseph", Morris replied, emphasising the name. Alex turned around again, slightly quicker this time.
"Yeah, you have. Firstly, my name is Alex. Secondly, who the hell are you?", Alex told him.
Like the rest of the office, Jack and Chloe were watching this exchange with both confusion and curiosity.
"You said he's an alcoholic, right, Chloe?", Jack asked her.
"Former alcoholic", Chloe was quick to tell him. Morris decided to turn around and address the rest of the CTU employees.
"This guy says his name is Alex Myers. You all know him as that, am I right?", Morris enquired.
"Morris, Alex has been here for nine years", Milo spoke, and Morris replied only with a dismissive gesture.
"We all know your opinion doesn't matter, Milo", he said, which was rewarded with a roll of the eyes from Chloe.
"Where did he say he was before he was here?", Morris asked.
"He was at CTU Chicago, he's from there", Jack told him. Morris could only scoff at this.
"Chicago? Not bloody likely!", Morris chuckled.
"Morris, what is this all about?", Chloe enquired, getting more and more annoyed by his antics.
"Do we have access to MI6 databases here?", Morris queried and grinned when Jack said they did. Jack noticed a look on Alex's face that suggested a slight sense of growing panic.
"Will we find anything on there that you don't want us to know, Alex?", he asked, half-seriously.
"No, because I've got nothing to do with MI6. This guy's a former drunk, isn't he?", Alex replied with a tone that was part amused and part confused.
"OK, Morris, I've got the MI6 database up. What should I look for?", Chloe asked, her voice full of sarcasm.
"Joseph Clarke", Morris said, looking at Alex. As Chloe wrote in the name, Alex couldn't take it anymore.
"Wait! Chloe, you don't need to look that name up", Alex said, his voice now nervous.
"Who the hell is Joseph Clarke?", Jack asked.
"That would be me", Alex replied, to murmurs from other CTU employees.
"Is it some sort of alias?", Bill Buchanan spoke up. He had been watching quietly as the bizarre events had happened.
"No, that would be my real name", Alex confessed.
"So, what about Nina?", Chloe asked.
"Her name really was Nina Myers. She wasn't my sister", Alex told the office.
"And you can stop with the accent as well, Joseph", Morris chuckled, until he was rewarded with an icy glare from Alex.
"I'm not American", Alex told the office in an American accent.
"I'm actually British. I was born in Manchester, England", he confessed, his accent now that of a Northern English person rather than a Midwestern American.
"But what about when I killed her? Alex...Joseph...whoever, you had so much emotion for her", Jack questioned.
"I got used to the idea she was my sister. Also, no offence, but what you did to her was pretty evil, Jack, what with her being injured on the floor and all", Alex told him.
"What are you doing, Joseph?", Morris asked him.
"It wasn't supposed to last this long. I should have really gone back to England years ago, but I guess I got used to this place, this life as Alex Myers", Alex told the office.
"What does MI6 plan to achieve by putting one of their agents into CTU?", Bill enquired.
"I really did work at CTU Chicago, although for a lot less time than I said I did. We were trying to catch a small group of British terrorists who had been infiltrating US intelligence agencies. Ever heard of Operation Fox?", Alex said, hoping that someone had indeed heard of it.
"I've heard of it, yeah. They caught the entire gang", Jack confirmed, strangely proud of his friend who had managed to keep his cover for so long.
Later that day, Alex was leaving CTU to go home when Morris came up to him.
"Sorry about the public interrogation earlier", he said, in a very apologetic tone.
"Don't worry about it Morris, it had to come out sooner or later", Alex replied.
"So, what now for Joe Clarke?", Morris enquired.
"Well, I doubt I have a job left at MI6, so I'll probably stay here. Buchanan and Jack are both OK with that", Alex replied.
"Good. Can I ask you one thing?", Morris queried.
"Sure, what?"
"Alex or Joseph?"
"How about I mix and match? One day I'll be Alex with a British accent, the next I'll be Joe with an American accent!"