The Psychic Thief
By MollyMega
Author's Note: Well, this is my first Doctor Who fanfic. I'm trying to stay true to the British foundation of the series, so please please please correct any terms I might misuse (or should have used). Also, a bit of disclaimer, I have not seen any of the old series but have done research so that this story can coincide with information that was previously established. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. I appreciate any comments you might have. Enjoy!
Donna Noble hadn't spoken for at least fifteen minutes, a feat the Doctor had not thought possible without creating some sort of paradoxical rift through the middle of the universe. But, as it turned out, it was possible. However, the peaceful silence the Time Lord was experiencing came at the cost of sacrificing his nose.
Poised with her hand sprawled on the edge of the TARDIS console, Donna stuck out her tongue in concentration as she dunked the brush back into the precariously placed bottle of nail polish that had managed to saturate the console room with its stench. "Uh, Donna…" the Doctor began, nervously watching a glob of polish that looked ready to fall onto one of the console's many sensors.
"Shush!" Donna hissed, "Can't fly this thing any better? It's impossible to get on a second coat!"
"Well I could, but you've got your polish right on—" He was cut off as the TARDIS gave a vicious lurch. He clung to the railing, managing to stay on his feet. "Time pothole," he muttered as explanation, but his companion wasn't listening.
"Oh no! No, no, no!"
"What? What? What? Did it spill? Donna, I told you not to put your polish there! That's a bio-scanner you've got it on, do you know how hard those are to clean?"
Donna looked at him aghast. "Its worse than that, Doctor. I think I got a smudge!" She held her hand up, staring intently at the fresh coat of drying red polish. "Oh, I can't see a thing in this lighting. We need to buy a lamp!" As she frantically moved around the room for a better light source, the Doctor snatched up her bottle of polish before a real tragedy could occur.
He looked at his computer screen before grabbing the nearest lever and giving it a quick yank. Shooting the nail polish bottle a glare, he mumbled to himself about needing fresh air while stretching his foot across the console to hit a flashing button. With a few more pushes, pulls, and pumps, he steered the TARDIS to their latest destination.
Donna appeared beside him a moment later. "Oh, landed, have we?"
"Mm. How's the damage?"
"Damage? What damaged? You mean we're here for parts? Where do you go to get parts for a time machine, anyway? It's not like you can just pop over to the BP for an oil change."
"Your nails."
"Oh! Turns out there wasn't a smudge after all! What a relief, eh?"
"Isn't it just."
Donna gave him a rueful look before spinning towards the door. "So when and where are we? What crazy alien race are we going to meet this time?"
The Doctor led the way to the door, grabbing his brown jacket as he walked. He swung the door open and Donna eagerly peeked over his shoulder. Her face fell immediately. "We're back home?"
The Doctor offered her a suspiciously innocent look. "You said you wanted to pick up some snacks."
"S'pose I could pick up some HobNobs."
"There we go!" A look of relief crossed his face and he widely swung his arm out into the London air. "Allons-y!" He paused, balanced on one leg as he held the door open, casting a glance at Donna then back outside. "Allons-y means let's—"
"I know what it means," Donna replied, placing her hands on her hips. A suspicious look narrowed her eyes. "You aren't telling me something. We've got the whole wide universe and all of time to pick snacks from. But you brought me back to London? The London I grew up at and ate all the snacks I ever wanted from?"
The Doctor's eyes continued to flit from his companion to outside, and he looked ready to bolt out of the Tardis. He cleared his throat and lowered his leg, letting the ship's door swing closed. "Well…" He jammed his hands into his pockets and looked guiltily at Donna.
"Well what?"she demanded. A look of horror crossed her face, "You're getting rid of me! Kicking me to the curb! You don't want me anymore, do you—you little space twig!"
The Doctor held up his hands. "No, no! Wait, what? Space twig? What does that—oh never mind. Your mum gave you a ring earlier, when you were sleeping. Said Wilfred had taken a tumble down some steps and was in the hospital."
"Gramps?" All the anger immediately drained from Donna's face to be replaced with a growing horro. The Doctor quickly continued, "He's alright! I talked to him. He said your mum is more upset than anything. Apparently she thinks you're in Egypt. Egypt, ha! You know, though, we should go visit the Pharaohs. See the pyramids being built and we could pick up a real souvenir for your Mum. Something like a canopic jar would be nice. Bet we could even find one with a fresh pair of lungs in it. Hapi was the guardian of the lungs, looked like a baboon if I remember right."
"Doctor!"
"Hm? Oh, yes. Well, Wilfred said it wasn't necessary for us to come, but I figured you would probably want to see him and it would be a load off of your Mum's mind. But I still think that we should go pick up a canopic jar so she thinks you really were in Egypt. The sand, though—"
He was cut off rudely by Donna shoving past him on her way out of the Tardis, rushing towards the hospital.