Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Introductions

Story Summary

Clarke hasn't seen him in years. Now they'll reconnect in a way she never would have expected...

A story of Bellamy & Clarke's blossoming Dom/sub relationship in a BDSM context. Clarke is new to this avenue of pleasure, Bellamy isn't. Who better to guide her through this journey of self-discovery? And maybe Bellamy has a few things to learn about himself.

AU - Modern.

First 5 chapters are mostly dialogue and setup. If it's smut you're looking for, then Chapter 6+ is where you want to be.

Warning + Promise: This will get kinky. The initial sex scenes (ch. 6+) aren't dark or anything (but, based on reviews, they are delightfully hot and smutty). Both the reader and Clarke will get a gradual introduction to new experiences. I'll post trigger warnings in the notes of each chapter, when applicable.

Chapter 1: Introductions

Chapter Notes

This first chapter is mostly just setup, kind of Clarke's introduction to a new group of people in her journey of self-discovery.

This story is that of a blossoming Dom/sub relationship in a BDSM context. If you are upset by domination and/or submission in a sexual context, then you probably should skip this fic in general.

Oh, and I own nothing recognizable... Only the plot and original characters are mine.

I found the information a while back on a "munch" that occurred regularly at a Denny's up the road from me. It took me a month to actually work up the courage to attend one.

I found the information a while back on a "munch" that occurred regularly at a diner up the road from me. It took me a month to actually work up the courage to attend one.

I was beyond nervous as I walked through the parking lot. I didn't know what to expect. Okay, this is a public place. They probably won't be dressed in assless chaps or dragging each other around on leashes. I don't think. Shit. Just normal people, like me.

I am buzzing with nervous energy as I walk toward the glass doors of the restaurant. As I place my fingers on the door handle, I have a sudden surge of anxiety and let go of the door. I can't fucking do this. I turn on my heel and walk back to my car. I open up my car door and lean on the frame while taking a deep breath.

What is your problem? Stop being a wimp. You're not someone who gets scared of shit like this. It's a bunch of strangers who are inherently as open minded as they come. Time to woman-up and do this. No more fucking around. You want this. You NEED this, and it's not going to happen unless you turn yourself around and walk your ass back in there.

With new resolve, I walk back to the restaurant. As I step into the lobby, I notice an approachable brunette with a warm, knowing smile on her face. "I remember changing my mind fifty times - do I go in or go home?"

I sheepishly return her smile, "That obvious, huh?"

"Maybe just to a kindred spirit. I'm Mandy." She smiles again, which immediately sets me at ease. "You're here for the munch?" She motions toward the group of a dozen or so (very normal-looking) people gathered around several pushed-together tables at the back of the restaurant. One man is animatedly telling some sort of story to the rest of the group. An outburst of laughter indicates that he must have reached the punch line.

I look back at Mandy, "I'm Clarke. I'm ridiculously nervous." I make some sort of a noise between a huff and a chuckle.

Her face brightens as she tells me, "Don't worry about it. Come with me."

I walk behind her toward the group. She greets everyone and introduces me. "Everyone, this is Clarke. She's new, so let's not scare her." The group laughs and welcomes me in. Mandy offers me a chair next to hers, and I take a seat as people introduce themselves. After some nonspecific chatting, people begin to chat amongst themselves in smaller groups. I end up in a group with Mandy and two other people, who appear to be a couple. One of them, Talia, asks me to tell a little about myself.

"Well, I'm not sure where I'm supposed to begin. As Mandy told you, my name is Clarke, and this is all new to me, in terms of experience. I'm not really sure what you want to know." I was honestly unsure how to answer this simple but vague prompt - did they want my life story? Was I supposed to give then a fake name? Was I supposed to tell them my darkest fantasies or something?

I smile nervously and glance around until I meet the gaze of a thirty-something man who speaks up with a warm smile. I recognize him as the story-teller from earlier. "Clarke. I'm Lucas. I'm glad you're here. Let's start with how you found us, and maybe what brought you here today. Are you interested in the lifestyle on a personal level? Doing research for a class? Start there."

"Okay, that's easy enough," I laughed. "I learned about this munch on a website, on the community calendar link, I think. It seemed casual enough, and I had availability in my own schedule, so I figured I'd come and check it out. I'm 'interested' on a personal level, I guess. I'm not practically experienced with BDSM. I mean, I know the basics from my own reading and research, like what the letters stand for, and what some of the terms are. I understand some of the psychology behind the lifestyle, from a class I took in college. I guess that class is probably what piqued my interest years ago, but this is the first time I'm pursuing this, like, in real life..." I've unconsciously started to fidget, unaware that I'm tapping my fingers loudly until I see Lucas glance at my hands. I stop abruptly, embarrassed. "Okay, I'm sorry, I'm rambling..."

Lucas shakes his head, giving me a reassuring smile. "No reason to be sorry."

I huff out another laugh, "Okay. I'm still nervous as fuck right now!"

"What makes you nervous?" he asks.

"I guess everything?" I shrug my shoulders. "I grew up a 'good girl' who was basically told that sex is for dirty girls. You know, 'if it feels good, stop?' That sort of thing. So, sex and pleasure are things that I don't really talk a lot about. Out loud, anyway. I'm nervous that I'll be laughed out of the room because of my inexperienc

e." I blink away tears that have welled up beyond my eyes before I continue, "This is all so overwhelming. I feel like I'm on the verge of experiencing a sexual awakening or something... Fuck, why am I about to fucking cry about this?!" I laugh while wiping away a few escaped tears.

Talia tilts her head thoughtfully as she speaks up, "Why not? You're opening up and letting yourself feel things, maybe for the first time. Crying is okay, sweetheart." Mandy puts a hand on my arm and agrees.

I learn a little about the individuals at the table. Lucas and Talia are in an exclusive D/s relationship. Lucas is the dominant, Talia is the submissive. Mandy describes herself as a "switch." She is currently unattached, and is somewhat vague about whether she's looking for a play partner.

Lucas speaks again, "What is it you're looking for?"

I take a deep breath, pausing to think of my answer. "Guidance, really. I mean, the online forums answer a lot of questions, but I need more. More than I can get from just clicking from page to page. Does that make any sense?"

"It does," Lucas replies with a warm laugh. "So, you've done some research. What do you know about your own tastes and preferences?"

"Well, I really feel like I just have theoretical preferences. I know what I fantasize about, and I know enough about myself to have an idea of what I am interested in exploring further."

"Okay, then let's start there. Theoretically, are you dominant or submissive? Or have you thought about that?"

"Submissive. Which is something that surprised me, because I never considered myself to be a 'submissive' person by nature. I learned that being submissive in the BDSM context is not the same as having a doormat for a personality. I used to think of myself as a controlling person, actually. I think that has been more circumstantial. A lot of things in my life require me to maintain tight control, make decisions based on my judgment. I realized that I feel suffocated by the constant responsibility. My sex life has been unfulfilled, because I haven't been able to just let go. Trying to be "in control" during sex takes the pleasure out of it for me. That much I've known since before I knew what BDSM even was. Unfortunately, my past sexual partners have had no clue what to do with that."

I feel like I'm rambling again.

I hear Talia say to Lucas and Mandy, "We should introduce her to B."

Lucas clears his throat. "I want to clarify, these meetings aren't really for matchmaking purposes, so I'm not trying to set you up with this person." He studies my face for a few seconds before continuing. "That being said, I think there is someone you should meet. Just as another contact in our community. No pressure. He's actually out of town, but he'll be back for the next meeting."

Mandy adds, "Yeah, B is a great guy. He's got a lot of experience, and he likes to teach. I think he'd like you."

I ask, "Like, Bumble Bee?"

She laughs, "No, not bumble bee!"

Just then my phone buzzes. It is my reminder to leave for the case management meeting for one of my patients.

"Shit, I have to get going – it's work. But I'd really like to continue this conversation!" I start gathering my things. I exchange contact info with the three of them before leaving the restaurant.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my soul...