Author's Note: Little metaphor challenge I have given myself. I might possibly continue. I am comparing very different things that kind of have a bit of a truth, but not really. Enjoy.
Toshiro Hitsugaya is a Little Kid
Toshiro Hitsugaya is a little kid. Many people wouldn't think this, but it is partly true. No matter what he does, he can't convince himself that it's good enough. Mostly everyone in Soul Society knows that he is a truly excellent fighter.
They know not to underestimate him except for the occasional squad 11 idiot. Although, they don't matter to Hitsugaya. Matsumoto matters to him and he wants to show her how amazing he truly is. Hitsugaya doesn't understand that she already loves him and already thinks he's amazing. He just wants to show her how cool he is. It's just like a little kid's crush on his teacher. That is, except for the fact that Matsumoto loves him back.
There is one person Hitsugaya has to prove himself to that isn't Matsumoto. It's himself. He blames himself for everything, like a little kid that parents got divorced. He is a little kid in the fact that he wants to prove himself to everyone and nothing he does is good enough. Hitsugaya scolds himself for the littlest of things and can't stand to not be loved back by people he cares for. Like Momo. She was in love with Aizen and never noticed little Hitsugaya who always watched her back and protected her. That hurt him. Not in the sense that he was truly in love with her, but he cared for her and he wanted her to care back. He wanted to be in her world.
Toshiro Hitsugaya never thinks he is good enough. He constantly strives to be the best, but can't stand all the pressure. That is why he likes to watch the sunset and why he has such an uptight attitude. He missed his childhood and had to become an adult so he doesn't think he can be good enough. Hitsugaya regrets missing his childhood. He loved the simple days of watermelon eating and watching the sunset with Momo. Sure, no one ever talked to him, but those days were simple and he didn't have a worry in the world. He could be himself. Then Hitsugaya went to the academy and couldn't act like a kid because everyone would have doubted him and thought he was just playing. He was serious. After that, Hitsugaya became a soul reaper and had to work extremely hard to be recognized as a good fighter and to be taken seriously. He had to make people trust him with their lives for any of their missions to be successful.
Toshiro Hitsugaya is a little kid because bits and pieces of his old child self never died. He just had to put on a mask and act tough and mature. Once he looks a bit older and is more self-confident, he can loosen up and start to have fun. The real Toshiro Hitsugaya, the one that spent his days eating watermelons without any worries is still there. He's just hiding and waiting to be allowed to show himself. The real Toshiro Hitsugaya will come out soon.
Toshiro Hitsugaya is a little kid. All the signs are there, but he's waiting for someone else to notice. He's waiting for someone else to finally realize and accept the truth that he just isn't ready to be completely grown up and mature. He's waiting to really show how much of a kid he truly is and wants to be. Toshiro Hitsugaya is a little kid.