Title : The Last Laugh
Author : Tariq ( formerly Aeris Jade Orion )
Rating : R
Pairing : Joxer/Gabby
Timeline : Season Six
Summary : Joxer gets himself in trouble again. This time with Olympus.
Authors note: It's unbeta'd. At the moment I
have no beta reader for this genre. So drop me
a line if you're interested.
Second, due to health issues, and taking care
of my disabled mom, I haven't been able to
write much. But over the last several years
I've managed to slowly write on a number
of stories.
What I've decided to do is go ahead and
publish what I've managed to put together.
The stories are unfinished, and sometimes,
the last chapter I worked on is unfinished.
Plus, there maybe multiple chapters, each one a
different version. Just warning everyone.
So I apologize in advance.
Disclaimer : Not mine.
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Prologue
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The light hit his eyes hard, creating an explosion of pain unlike anything Ares could create. Rolling over he buried his under the satin pillow.
' Satin...pillow? '
Joxer reluctantly cracked one eye open, peeking out from under the soft pillow.
" Oh gods, it wasn't a dream. "
He was back in his old room. The stone walls still decorated with weapons.
" Not hardly. "
The warrior wannabe glared over at the love goddess, not in the mood to deal with her. Dite rolled her eyes at him in return.
" You're never in the mood to deal with me. " She pointed out.
Joxer didn't respond, staring down at the black leather and silver wrist guards.
" How do I explain this? "
Dite smirked a little at the idea of him having to explain to Xena and Gabrielle how he got into this mess. Joxer looked up at her with sudden inspiration.
" I don't suppose..."
" No way kiddo. "
Joxer saddened a bit causing the goddess to turn serious. She sat on the bed next to him putting her arm over his shoulder.
" It won't be that bad. I'm sure they'll understand. "
" Understanding isn't the problem. " Joxer pouted leaning into her pitifully.
" Then what is? "
" Being able to walk away afterwards. " Joxer turned on his best wounded puppy dog look.
" Well, if it'll make you feel any better Ares wants to see you. "
Joxer groaned, burying his face in his hands.
' What else could possibly go wrong? '
The room was warm from the large fire that was burning in the stone fire place. He walked over to the window staring out at the snow covered moutains of Rome. He had forgotten how much he'd missed this view. At times like this he sometimes wondered if it had been worth the sacrifice.
" Of course it was. " He pushed away from the window noticing Ares silent figure seated in a large chair by the fire.
" Are you sure? "
Joxer didn't answer knowing that the god would never understand why he'd done it.
" You're wrong I do understand. I just think that you acted..." Ares trailed off as Joxer brooded silently. He finally stood changing the subject. " I have a job for you. "
Joxer followed him over to the map covering the studies desk.
" Look I don't plan on keeping this job. "
" That may be but in the mean time you still have to do it. " Ares smirked darkly.
Joxer stared at him for a long moment trying to find someway of talking Ares out of using him, but he knew the god was right.
" What do I have to do? "
11111
Chapter One
11111
The scarred warrior looked into the window of the bath house, eyeing the woman greedily. The woman moved out of his sight making him scowl. He made a grunting sound, and climbed through the window. The darkened room was empty, the only noise was water splashing in the next room.
He quietly opened the door wincing as it squeaked loudly.
" Who's there? "
He froze waiting for the middle aged woman to make a move. For a long minute he thought she was going to get out, but finally she shrugged off the noise.
Letting out the breath he'd been holding, he eased the door the rest of the way open. Scooting into the room, and behind the screen so he was hidden from view. Glancing around the screen he watched her bathing.
He took a step forward not noticing the soap. His foot shot out from under him, sending him into the screen. They crashed to the floor as the woman let out a high pitched scream. He crawled to the door trying to ward off the nude woman clubbing him over the head with a piece of the screen.
Grabbing the door frame he started pulling himself up to be stopped by the woman yanking his leg. He fell back to the floor, elping out as her teeth sank into his leg. He used his other leg to send her flying back into the tub.
Jumping up, he ran out of there, diving out the window. He glanced around nervously, before he walked away casually. The scarred warrior began to change until the man standing there was Joxer. He sighed glad that part of it was over, now all he had to do was sit back and wait to see if it worked.
He watched as the woman ran from the bath house in hysterics, running across the street. Joxer followed at a distance looking around occasionally to make sure no one he knew was nearby. He silently cursed Ares knowing that he'd delibrerately picked a town that Hercules was near.
The woman picked up her pace heading into the square and toward the jail. Joxer stayed by the tavern wearily watching as she entered. He decided to wait there. He peeked around the corner again, taking the time to check for anybody he knew. He was focusing on the crowd so hard he failed to notice the blonde curly head that poked next to his, staring at the crowd with equal intensity.
" What are we looking for? " The hunter whispered.
Joxer leaned closer to the hunter.
" Anybody that I might know. "
Iolaus scratched at his head and shrugged.
" Oh, okay. See anybody yet? "
" Nope, I think it's safe. "
" In that case, you want to join me and Herc. We're meeting Xena at the nearby inn. "
Joxer finally glanced over at the voice, doing a quick double take as he realized it was Iolaus.
' Real smart Jox. You just walked right into this one. '
He sighed, it seemed like no matter how hard he tried trouble followed him.
" Well...I...you see..." Joxer stared at the innocently happy hunter, the last thing he wanted was to see Herc.
" Sure. "
" Great. " Iolaus smiled warmly slapping Joxer's arm heartily.
The hunter lead him through the square talking and gesturing the way Joxer normally did.
" Just the other day I was wondering what happened to you. You're never around anymore. " Iolaus glanced back at him with a frown of confusion. " Hey, what happened to your armor? "
Joxer grimanced slightly at his own short sidedness..
He was so sure he could avoid his friends that he'd left his normal...wardrobe back at the temple. Wearing instead soft black leather pants, and boots. Along with a black long sleeved tunic, the collar left untied.
Big mistake. He just hoped that the others wouldn't think he was Jett.
" I was... doing a favor for... a relative, and the armor would have gotten in the way. "
Iolaus seemed to accept the explantion.
" You look better like that. "
Joxer grinned at the hunter, delibrately not commently. Iolaus stopped talking as he went into the darkened inn. Joxeer didn't follow, his gut telling him that he should just turn around and leave.
Instead he listened to the loud booming voice of Hercules as he greeted his long time friend. Along with Xena's more quiet voice, just as commanding speaking to Gabrielle.
" Hey guys, you'll never guess who I ran into... where'd he go? "
" Where'd who go? " Gabrielle asked.
" Joxer. " Iolaus came back to the door, just as Joxer disappeared. He scanned the crowd confused before turning to the others. " He was just here. "
Gabrielle pushed her way out, concern etched across her face.
" What's wrong? "
" Joxer was supposed to meet our ship at the docks two weeks ago. He never showed up. " Xena sighed this thing was getting worse. " Was there anything unusal about his behavior? "
Iolaus looked bemused.
" Isn't there always? " He became serious at the looks they threw at him.
" Yeah he wasn't wearing his armor and was trying to avoid running into people he knew. "
Xeba looked around looking for any sign of him being there.
" I wonder what he was doing here to begin with. "
A loud high pitched scream shot through the air, followed by the loud sound of someone being slapped.
" You pig... "
Xena raised as eyebrow and lead the others toward the center of town.
A short, wide older woman was shrieking at a young warrior covered in scars. She was hitting him with a large bag, driving him back into the fruit vendors wagon. The wagon rolled a few feet into the wine vendors stand.
The stand splintered, several barrels of wine rolling off. One of the barrels hit the mayor. Who in turn let out a high pitched scream falling back into the town well.
Another barrel rolled towards Athenas newest temple. Slamming into one of the torches that marked the entrance. The torch fell off, landing on the barrel, causing the wine to explode. The temple burst into flames, spreading on to the blacksmiths shop that set next to it. The door to the shop flew open.
A naked man hopped out, struggling to get his pants on. Following him was a young woman, holding her dress over her body in an attempt to cover herself.
" Thats my wife. " The butcher bellowed, charging the blacksmith.
The blacksmith side stepped him, over balancing the butcher. The butcher landed on the fish vendors wagon, scattering fish across the square. One of the fishes landed behind the horses hooked up to a wagon being loaded with windows and mirrors.
Five hungry hunting dogs were tied to the railing of the weapons shop, next to the wagons. The dogs all leaped at the fish, jerking and yanking at the poorly tied leather stips that held them.
After several tries the knot came undone, letting the dogs attack the fish. As the dogs got the fish, they frightened the horses, causing them to rear up and set off in a gallop. The mirrors and windows fell out of the wagon, shattering on the ground.
A thick long piece of glass flew up to the second story of the new tavern that was being built, hitting a teenager as he bent over. The teenager grabbed his rear, howling like a tom cat in heat. He stepped back quickly, falling off the building.
A third barrel rolled onto a piece of wood that was propped on a large boulder, as the teenager landed on the other end. Catapulting the wine barrel up into the air. The warrior that the woman had knocked onto the fruit wagon got up, and charged her in anger.
As the warrior stopped directly in front of her his fist drawn back, the wine barrel landed on his head. Driving him to the ground in a heap of splintered wood, and wine. The woman stuck her nose up and walked away.
" I haven't seen anything like this since Strife. " Hercules commented.
" That's it. That's were I saw them. " Iolaus perked up, his eyes lightening up.
" Saw what? " Gabrielle questioned.
The hunter faltered.
" Nothing. " He began to back away pointing over his shoulder. " Listen I just remembered somthing I have to do. I'll meet you guys back at the inn later. "
He turned and ran off before they could ask any more questions.
Hercules felt the two women staring at him and shrugged.
" Anyone hungry? "
Iolaus walked into Aphrodites temple looking around for her.
" Dite? " He jumped as she appeared in a shower of rose pedals.
" What's up curly? "
" Where's Joxer? "
The love goddess turned away innocently.
" Why are you asking me? "
" You know why. "
The blonde goddess started bouncing on a pink velvet love seat. Trying to distract the hunter.
" I don't know what you mean. "
" He told me. "
Aphrodite frowned mentally making a note to have a long talk with Joxer.
" Fine he's at his temple in Athens. "
" Why was he wearing Strifes wrist guards? " He asked.
" He's the new god of mischief. " She looked away as Iolaus crossed his arms in an attempt to look intimatating. " I think Joxie should be the one to tell
you. "
Dite stared at him solemnly for once serious.
Iolaus let his arms fall to his sides and set next to her.
" Why did he cause that... incident in the square?" He questioned.
" That warrior broke his oath to Ares. " Dite spoke up once more as he started to leave. " Hey Curly, go easy on him. He's been having a tough time. "
" Don't worry I will. "
He left the temple deep in though, if he took Herc and the others with him to Athens he would not only be breaking his promise to Joxer, but the others probably wouldn't be very understanding of the situation.
He slowed his pace as he came to the inn. He had to go alone and hope that whatever was going on would be something he could handle without his friends help. Taking a deep breath he plunged through the door.
Hercules glanced up at him as Iolaus sat next to him.
" Did you do it? " At the hunters blank looked he expanded his question. " That thing that you remembered, did you do it?"
" Oh, that, yeah I did. "
" And? "
" And what? " He nervously shifted.
Xena stared in wry amusement. " What was it? "
He ignored her in favor of turning to Hercules.
" Listen big guy, can I meet you in Cornith? "
Herc frowned. a little. " Why? "
" Well, you see... " The hunter cleared his throat. " a... friend of mine in Athens isn't feeling well and I want to check on him. "
" Why don't we all go? " The bard suggested.
" That's not necessary. I can meet up with you..."
" Actually that's a good idea, we might be able to track down Joxers family and see if they know anything. "
Iolaus felt his stomach sink as he saw Xena and Hercules get that look in their eyes. The one that meant their minds were made up, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Joxer sat in the chair silently listening to Discord and Ares rant about the war in Corinth. He did not want to be there, and he defintely din't want to be there with both Discord and Ares in the same room together.
" Joxer...are you listening? "
He looked at Ares distantly not really wanting to be at the end of one of his temper tantrums.
" Leave him alone. " Eris scolded.
" I'll leave him alone if he'll pay attention. "
" Why? None of this is his job. "
" No, but he can't do his job if he doesn't understand what's going on. "
Discords right hand began glowing as she got that look in her eyes. Ares scowl darkened ready to cause a beating of his own.
Joxer seeing the oppurtunity, got the Hades out of there.
Reapearing in his temply. The small building was empty allowing him the quiet he craved. He was completely exhausted.
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To Be Continued