Author's note: Balex will be writing this chapter of Snow Yellow and the Seven Oompa Loompas. =) So fear me. Snowy will be writing the next chapter. X3 It'll go on like that until we're finished. ^_^ Have fun and try not to spit up your lung laughing.. I've had enough of those. O_o;

Disclaimer: I don't own Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, but I -do- own my story.. And the plot.. So there. =P

Chapter 1

It was a sunny day in wherever it was that had a well and a castle. Okay, it was really sunny, so sunny that bugs started melting and becoming one with the ground, but that's not our story. Our story begins with Snow Yellow. She is a young demented girl, with greasy black hair and bulgy cow eyes. She blinked funny…. Anyhow, she was busy, singing badly to herself when all of a sudden the evil wicked cannibalistic step mother of the western hemisphere of the northern hemisphere ugly-as-hell-queen threw a stick from her balcony at Snow Yellow.

Evil Queen: SNORT! YOU'RE UGLY! AHAHAHA OFMG LOLZ! o@

Snow Yellow: =( I'm prettier than you.. DON'T LIE TO ME!

(Snow Yellow blinked funny and then began to sob and run around in circles for a long amount of time.. Then, the evil queen walked back into her room and looked into her Evil Mirror)

Evil Queen: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the best looking, most prettiest, best in show looking one of all?

Evil Mirror: =( You scare me.. Why do you do that rhyme every time!? God, it's so annoying. STOP TALKING TO ME!

Evil Queen: TELL ME OR AH EAT CHOO!

Evil Mirror: Fiiiine. If you MUST know, Snow Yellow is best in show. See, you're not the only one who can rhyme.

(The Evil Queen's left eye twitched as she snorted something fierce.)

Evil Queen: OMFGOMFOMFOMGOMFOMGOMFOMG! THIS CAN'T BE TRUE LYK OMFG I'M DA BEST LOOKIN' ONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD! =O

Evil Mirror: Not really…You're very scary.. Little children cry when they see you coming.

Evil Queen: Shut up, you evil mirror, you.

Evil Mirror: Fine.. I know when I'm not wanted.

(The Evil Mirror sobs and shuts up, the face inside leaving)

Evil Queen: That's it. I'm gonna open a can of cannibalistic whoop on her skimpy little pig heart. *Snort* BOB! BOOOB! C'MERE! I NEED YOU TO KILL SNOW YELLOW SO I CAN EAT HER!

(Suddenly, a jack rabbit with a top hat hobbles in on a cane. This was Bob.)

Evil Queen: God.. Did you know that when you put more than one 'o' in your name it looks li-

Bob: Whossitwhatsembob? 8D

Evil Queen: I want you to kill Snow Yellow, you little munchkin. D:

Bob: *GAASP!* ….OKAY!

Evil Queen: Good little demented jack rabbit.

Bob: YEEEEE!

(Bob jumps out the balcony and viciously roars at Snow Yellow, who is staring at the sky)

Snow Yellow: *Blinks oddly* OMFOMSFDOMDSF IT'S A RABID JACK RABBIT!!1111ONEONEONEONEEELVEN!!111 RUUUN!

(Snow Yellow screams like a little boy and runs off into the forest..ish…place.)

Bob: THERE'S NO ESCAPING ME YEH COW-EYED MONKEY FACE! *CHASE!*

Snow Yellow: OMFG JACK RABBITS ARE EVIL! D:

Bob: Aren't they, though?! Yeessss.. @_@

(Suddenly, Little Red Ridding hood appears out of no where and attacks Bob)

Bob: ARGHOMFGMYSPLEEEN!

(Little Red Ridding hood viciously attacks Bob, foaming at the mouth.)

Little Red Ridding Hood: BIIRDDSSSSS! O_O *Hiss* SNOW YELLOW YELLOW SNOOW AHAHAHHAFDJLASDF OMG!

Snow Yellow: o_o

Little Red Riding Hood: GIMME SOME DRUGS GRAMMA!

(Little Red Riding Hood runs off into the distance, leaving the mangled body of what used to be the retarded jack rabbit..)

Snow Yellow: Ewww.. *Pokes the remains with a stick* I need a Hyena Shiek Vaccum. D:

(Suddenly Shiek appears, devouring the remains of the jack rabbit, and cart-wheels herself out of the forest, laughing like a lunatic)

Snow Yellow: That was interesting. =o But then, what ISN'T?

Author (Balex): Shut up and get on with the story, yeh git. D:

Snow Yellow: OMFG! THE SKY! IT SPEEEAAKS!

Author (Balex): 'S right.

(Snow Yellow screams bloody murder and runs like a mad cow on crack. That's right, a mad cow on crack. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?! No, I didn't THINK so.)

(Cut to mysterious oompa loompas, wandering about the forest, singing perverted songs.)

Slutty: I'm slutty. :D *Shows off some leg*


Boozy: *Hiccup* I count…14..oompa loompas..today.. *Hiccup*

Sweary: Shut the fuck up you fucker fucking fuck fuck. D: Shit. Damn.

Dopey: *Glazed-look* I like..milk cartons.. @_@

Smelly: No one loves me. =(

Jesus: Remember children, god loves you. =)

Satan: Don't listen to him! HE'S HIGH ON PERMANENT MARKER! RUN CHILDREN! RUN BEFORE HE EATS YOO!

(In reality, there are no children.. they are all just high off some un-known substance.. do we even really WANT to know? Anyway, we'll go back to Snow Yellow, I don't want to catch their diseases.. D: )

Snow Yellow: I think..I'm lost. OH! I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYYEE SOMETHING ORANGE, GREEN, AND WHITE! *Points and runs toward the orange, green, and white*

Slutty: I smell something.. something.. yellow… SNOW!

Smelly: Don't make fun of me, bitch! D:

Slutty: You know you want me. =)

Boozy: *Hiccups and laughs* I seeeeee two.. Girly girls.. *Snort* They look like cow eyes.

Snow Yellow: I resent that, you meany-poo-poo-head.

Satan: IT'S YELLOW SNOW! *Point*

Jesus: God doesn't like it when you point. =(
Satan: Shut UP.

Smelly: HASHASHAHAH I'M NOT THE ONE WHO SMELLS THIS TIME!

The rest of the 6 oompa loompas: You always smell. D:

Smelly: u_u

Author (Balex): Okey dokey. I'm done for this chapter. D: I know it kinda stopped weird, but my brain stopped. So I'm gonna pass it on to Snowy now. Seeee ya later you munchkins. =D