Title: Try to stop asking why

Author: Inlya (Otherwise known as Andromeda on YTDAW)

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine... just messing around with them

Pairings: Grissom and Sara...

Ratings: PG, I guess...

Spoilers: Not my intention, I think none

Summary: There was nothing to fight anymore, she died without pain, she just fell asleep. He had told her what he felt, she had accepted it. It hadn't been too late for his confession. It was okay... Warning: Character death

A/N: This is the second fanfiction I write, it was hauting my mind for a couple of days and I felt I had to write it. Many thanks to Cybrokat, for being brave enough to beta it. I already have written 3 other chapters, so I think I'll update soon. Please leave a review.

It's time to say goodbye
Block out the sun and pack up the sky
Don't let my tears start to make you cry
Each time I try to say my goodbye
Try to stop asking why
(The Corrs, Goodbye)


Chapter 1:

Grissom walked through the corridors of the CSI lab. His shift was about to begin, and he was looking for a cup of coffee as he had barely slept the other night. A cup of Greg's special brew would give me a boost to start my work. Usually, he could live with less sleep, but this week, it was different, he had to confess that he was really tired. The cases he had to deal with last week may be the source, they were quite heavy: an abused and killed twelve-year-old, a raped young woman, the kidnap of a boy... it had affected him more than he would say. That his team solved them all eased his mind a bit, but it was still difficult to deal with.

He opened the door of the break room and was surprised that he saw someone sitting there. Sara... what's she still doing here? Or did she just come early? I thought she went home before I did. Did this mean that she never went home? That this was the end of her... triple shift? She wasn't looking at him; she hadn't noticed his presence yet. She was checking some files; a cup was next to her notepad. He saw that there were photos on the desk; he couldn't see what pictures they were, but he guessed that they were from the case she was working on. What case had I given to her? Was it the case of the robbery, was she working with Nick? He racked his brain, and finally he remembered what case he had given. She's working solo... on the rape of a minor. He could kick himself, Sara always went through the deep end when it came to violence, or sexual abuse of woman and rape was the ultimate combination of both. I should never have given her this case, at least not for her alone. But he couldn't turn back time, it had happened.

He knocked on the door, and Sara looked up. God... those bags under her eyes, this was not good. I need to send her home, right now. She needs some sleep, desperately. She smiled at him. "Hey... you're here early."

He looked sincerely at her, and her smile disappeared. "Please tell me that you didn't stay here all night. Please tell me that you went home."

She shook her head, searching for the words. "I... I... slept, I really have slept. I just... needed to work, had to finish the case." Her hand moved to her mouth, she tried to cover a yawn, but he noticed it.

"Sara, you're a very bad liar. Is this your triple shift?"

"Yes... I mean, yes, but... haven't you told me that-"

"No, Sara, I have never told you that you should work triples. Look at you: you have bags under your eyes, you're shaking, Sara. Your hands are shaking. Do you really think I can use you now? You need to go home. I'm not offering, this is an order. I'm very sorry, but I have to protect you, from yourself."

He saw that she knew that he was right, she hung her head down. I have to be sure that she goes home, that she doesn't stay here, unnoticed. I have to take my responsibility. If I don't do anything right now, she might think that it's normal to work like this, and she'll do it again. He knew that Sara might come back in a couple of hours; she was really a stubborn person, not only when it came to cases like this.

"Sara, I want to drive you home. You're too tired to drive home yourself; I don't want you to be in an accident."

He noticed that his words made sense. Sara closed the file she was working at, laid them on the corner of the desk stood up and walked to the doorway. There was nothing left of the usually strong and uplifting person, she was a wreck, literally. She didn't protest, which told him that she actually was very tired, and that she thought that working was not a good idea herself. He laid his hand on her shoulder and they walked to the locker-room together. He stopped when he felt the heat of her body. She was glowing; I can feel the heat through the blouse that she is wearing. This is not normal, I need to... she needs to go to bed. She's ill, very ill.

She turned around when she realized that he stopped. "What's wrong? Gris... why are you..."

Her hand moved to her forehead. She closed her eyes and lingered to the solid wall. She breathed in and out, very heavily. He hasted to her and stood right in front of her.

"Sara?"

When he didn’t get an answer, he worried even more. If she doesn’t respond on her name, it’s bad, very bad… Though, he tried to stay calm, and asked her what was going on.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

She shook her head and swallowed. "Nothing… I'm… dizzy. It's… it's…"

She couldn't finish his sentence; before she knew it, she fell on the ground. Her eyes were closed, her mouth a bit opened, but she was still breathing, luckily; he saw that her chest rose and fell. He kneeled at her left side, really worried right now. What's going on? I need to do something. He laid his hand on her face, tried to ignore the heat that escaped from her skin and called her name.

"Sara! Wake up. Wake up, honey…"

She didn't move. It seemed that she was still unconscious, and his hand moved to her wrist. He tried to feel her heartbeat, but his attention was pulled by another issue. He noticed small, red spots on her hand. There were not many of them, but they were spread on her hand, not just focused on one place. He bared her arms, to see if there were spots too. There were, many of them.

He remembered to feel her pulse and laid his hand on her carotid artery. He felt a pulsation, fast and irregular. He knew that he had to do something right now. She needs to see a doctor, now. This thought repeated in his mind, over and over again. He called her name, again, and tried to remember what he had learned at the first aid classes he had taken, but his mind was empty.

"Sara! You need to wake up, Sara."

She opened her eyes, they fluttered, and she closed them again. Her hand moved to the floor, and she lifted herself up. She looked at him; confusion filled the glance in her eyes. "I... I need to see Greg... results... important..." She seems to have no idea what's going on... is it better to tell her the truth? But what truth? He didn't know anything about what happened to her, the only thing he knew that it was bad. Fever, hallucination, disorientation, red spots, what was going on with her? What does she feel?

He stopped her and made her sit against the wall. He sat next to her and grabbed her hand.

"Sara, don't worry, everything is going to be okay. You fainted... you need to see a doctor, I think you're ill. Come on, I'll drive you to the hospital." He didn't say anything about the red spots he had seen on her hands, it would only make her frightened, and that was not something he was prepared to deal with.

Sara looked at him, her eyes wide opened. "No, Gris, please, no doctor. Just... drive me home."

She stood up and tried to walk to the door of the locker room, but her knees wouldn't hold the weight, she collapsed again. He was too late to catch her; he ran towards her and lifted her from the floor. She was barely conscious; she leaned to his chest when he walked with her, her hair fell on her face.

She needs to see a doctor; it couldn't wait any longer. Al, where is he? In the morgue... of course he's in the morgue. He made his way to the mortuary, Sara still lying in his arms. Her weight became heavier to carry, but he didn't care, she had to be there as soon as possible. When he arrived, he walked with her through the swinging doors; he opened them with his back to protect the precious burden he was carrying.

"Al? Are you there?" He almost screamed, concerned as he was about her. Usually he was a calm person, usually it was him who told anyone to look at the facts, and think rational before concluding things. This time, things were different.

"Gil... good to see you. But if you come for the tox-screens, I gave them to Greg. You-"

He broke his sentence abruptly when he saw who Grissom brought in. He looked around to find a place where he could lay her down, but only found the steel tables where the dead bodies used to lie. He didn't think that this was a comfortable place to lay down the unconscious young woman, it would be cold, and hard, but he had no choice, laying her down on the floor was no option. He made a gesture to the table.

"It has been cleaned..."

Grissom doubted, but didn't see another possibility. He laid her down on the autopsy table, carefully. She still had't opened her eyes.

"What happened to her?"

Grissom became something calmer by the cool attitude of the doctor. It gave him the opportunity to tell the things as they were, without freaking out.

"She fainted in the hallway, twice. She has a fever, just feel her skin, it’s glowing, Al. And... there are small red spots on her hands."

He showed them to the doctor. Al Robbins moved his hands over her body, as carefully and with as much precision as he would when he was processing a dead body. He looked at the spots on her hands, compared her hands to each other.

"What is it? What do you think?" Grissom sounded very concerned, Sara meant a lot to him, more than she probably knew.

"I think you should call the hospital. I don't want to make you worried, but I don't have the means to treat her."

"But what-"

"Just call the hospital. I'll tell you what I think, but she needs to go to the hospital. Right now."

Grissom took his cell phone and called 911. When he got back, the coroner was checking her temperature with an ear thermometer.

"104."

"104? What's going on? Al... please tell me the truth."

The coroner laid the thermometer back on the table, and tapped with his crutch on the floor. "I think of sepsis... or measles. Both are... lethal... if not discovered on time. Do you know she had her vaccination to measles?"

Grissom shook his head as a sign that he didn't know. He didn't know what he should do. He couldn't think of what would happen if Sara would die, he didn't want to know it. He didn't think he could handle her dead.

"Are we on time?"

His voice trembled when he asked it. He felt that tears were coming, but he pushed them away. She needs me now, and what use am I when I'm crying? I need to be strong, for her.

Doctor Robbins shook his shoulders. "I don't know, Gil. I can't tell you, I hope we are. I haven't treated living people in a very long time, but I have seen people like this, even worse, who made it. And on the other side, people who died when their condition seemed not this bad. I can't say anything, all I know that is she has a chance if we go to the hospital as soon as possible. The paramedics should be here in a few.

They both looked at Sara's face. A glistering layer covered her forehead; she was sweating from the fever. Her eyes were still closed. Grissom leaned over her head, and kissed her forehead. He took her hand and warmed her fingers. Her hands were, in contrast with the rest of her body, cold as ice. He tried to warm them with his own hands, but they remained as cold as they were. He brushed a couple of hairs of her face and let his hand lay on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open. She looked at him, swallowed difficultly and coughed.

"Gris... what's going on? Cold... I feel so cold..."

Her lips trembled and she started to cry, tears slipped down on her cheeks to her ears. Grissom wiped them away with his hand. He still held her hand tight in the palm of his other hand.

"Sara... I don't know... you're ill. You'll be brought to the hospital. Sara, I need you to think, did you have your vaccination of measles?"

A deep frown appeared in her forehead. "Hospital... measles... I don't know... I just..."

Her eyes closed again, but the frown stayed: the look of her face was not peaceful anymore. This was a battle, of life or death, and no-one knew who was going to win.

"Sara! Sara, stay awake. Come on, you can do it!"

Her eyes opened to small stains, it was almost like she was afraid of the light that came out of the lamp above her head. "Hmmmm... I'm... afraid... so afraid..."

These words broke his heart. He wasn't a person with a lot of tact, usually it seemed that he had no feelings, but this was untrue, he had feelings, but was good at hiding them. He had a hard time hiding them at this moment; he wasn't used to situations like this. He wanted to comfort her, but needed to know some things. He doubted if she was strong enough to answer his questions, but knew he had to ask them.

"Sara... Did you have your vaccination of measles? Please, honey, tell me, I need to know. I'm with you, it's okay, okay?"

"I don't know... I think... I had... yes... I was... nine..."

Her eyes closed and didn't open anymore. He wiped away the sweat on her face with a cloth, very carefully, and waited at her side.