I love Dreaming of Sunshine. Silver Queen puts up with all of my rants about her story, so I adore her! I wrote this one night when I was re-reading her story for the nth time. I love that she kept Sakura in the story line and that she is going to be relevant. I never did like Sakura in the original story until she fought Sasori, but SQ managed to make her likeable.

Not Kunoichi Material

Sakura never thought she would actually fail at something. Her parents had allowed her to be a ninja even though they did not want that life for her. But she had met her two best friends at the academy and nothing could make her regret that.

When she visited Ino or Shikako she could see the physical proofs that they were a ninja family. Their houses were strangely clean of clutter. While their décor was not Spartan by any means, she could see that the spaces were efficiently used. Nothing that would impede swift movement or exit. Sakura's mother had their tables filled with little figurines or keepsakes. Things they did not need but that her mother refused to throw away. Her friend's tables held pictures and flowers. The frames had an edge too sharp.. The flowers a bit too threatening with the little flowers they held hidden or the sharp thorns. Well placed kitchen knives that were easily accessible. Ninja wire hung from an innocuous pendant on a small chandelier. Everything held an edge of danger, and they were all things ignored at a glance. Things that she saw more and more as the years passed in the academy.

Regardless, she had never felt below Ino or Shikako. They never made her feel unwelcome or like an outsider. They shared her life and stayed at her civilian house often enough, sometimes helping her mother cook or tend her garden. They had helped her sew the empty clan circles into her dress without question. Sakura wasn't the top kunoichi (that honor went to Shikako) but she was comfortable knowing that she was one of the top students academically. She did not do as terrible as some other civilian girls in sparring.

A week ago she had hugged her parents after she rushed out of the academy holding a headband tight in her hands. She had been happier that she had imagined she was going to be. Nothing beat the physical proof of "yes, you are good enough". She had filled the forms and gotten her picture taken. She had felt like she was soaring the whole week.

It wasn't until her jounin-sensei was taking her headband from her hand that she felt an edge of dark jealousy. Her sensei had yelled at them plenty about their fails as a team, and she could not deny that he had been right. She flinched when the man's fingers touched her as he took her headband. He grimaced and patted her head before doing the same to her….teammates (she had learned that lesson). One of the boys was already blinking rapidly and breathing carefully. She was doing the same. All she wanted now was to go home, curl up, and sob. She wanted to forget the horrible feeling of failure and embarrassment and wake up from the nightmare.

"dismissed"

She didn't even wait a second before she turned and fled. The tears started running halfway home and didn't stop. She ducked her head and avoided meeting anyone's eyes. She ignored her mom calling her name from the kitchen and ran to her room to hide beneath the covers. She tried to quiet her sobs against a pillow when they started.

"Oh Sakura" Her mom didn't sound disappointed and that just made her feel angrier. She sounded sad.

"don't"

Her mother only patted her over the covers for a few minutes before she left her alone. She wasn't bothered for hours.