*INSERT LOUD TRUMPET FANFARE*

Haha what is punctual entry ahaha cries. Technically, this whole thing will be my FFA entry, but it's technically the whole week because it encompasses everything.

Have fun picking out references.

i.

The cock did not crow that morning, because the word "cock" causes Ray to burst out into uncontrollable sob-laughter. Which is a bad thing, because whenever Ray begins sob-laughing, she won't stop for a month and a day.

Basically, the pantheon uses foghorns.

"FFFFFFHHHNNNGGGGGGG," said the foghorn, as it raised its left tentacle and very, extremely, ridiculously, incredibly delicately pushed Joan off her floating cloud-bed.

This, of course, caused Joan to start dramatically screaming for five minutes, at which point everyone else in the pantheon had woken in similar ways. "Shut up Joan, this happens every god damn morning," yelled Jordan, pushing the windows open from the opposite side of the street. Joan made a hmph-ing noise at him, sticking her tongue out. He rolled his eyes at her and walked deeper into his house, presumably to find out what had happened to his dear wife-y.

Joan sighed, and then headed towards what she thought was the bathroom to start the day.

Evidently, it had not been the bathroom.

She shouldn't have been surprised; her house did have a link to the docks of Fanatica after all, being the Ultimate Shipper. She just hadn't expected said door to be so close to the sea. She fished a piece of seaweed out of her hair, muttering under her breath about "stupid designers" and "when I get my hands on that asshole".

"Can I interrupt your daily angry grumbling to bring you a message?"

Joan rolled her eyes and smiled. "Hi Andie. Who's it from?"

The Munchkin of the Yellow Brick Road (a title she never really understood) was their designated messenger goddess and a best friend of Hermes, Greek god of tricksters and travellers. "It's from Ray. Well, it's from all of them, technically." Andie's eye twitched. The FI Council was, on some days, not to be messed with. Most days weren't those days, and the Council was probably one of the least legit things in, well, the universe. Joan had counted.

"Anyway," Andie continued, jerking Joan out of her train of thought, "they've approved your thing. And they want you to host it during your week, whatever that means. They also want you to write rules and spread it to the pantheon annnnddd-" Andie dug inside her mail pouch, and fished out something that gave off grey smoke, throwing it at Joan. "Okaythistoobye." And she vanished in a poof of orange smoke.

"…What the hell?" Joan blinked, and then her brain registered what the item was.

A Howler.

"SHIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT-" and then there was a loud voice yelling "SUCK MY DICK" and an explosion.

She was going to get them for this.

"ATTENTION ALL PANTHEON MEMBERS, PLEASE PROCEED TO THE GREAT HALL ASAP. AND BY ASAP I MEAN DROP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING LIKE ITS HOT IN THE CRIB AND GO." Andie's pre-recorded voice ("I HAVE THE WORST VOICE FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT SYSTEM, JOAN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.") echoed through the loudspeakers that lined the streets. Honestly, it was getting kind of annoying.

Ray groaned and flopped on the floor. "Do we really have to gooo. I was in the middle of researching demon-summoning!" She grumbled. "I still haven't figured out a way to summon Crowley without either a) burning the Pantheon down, or b) summoning Joan in the process." Hazel, sitting next to her, shuddered. The thought of purposefully summoning Joan still made her wince.

Angel rolled her eyes. "Come on guys, we have to go," she said, as she stood up from the exact center of the room. "Being late does not suit this shipping trio, even if it happens all the time."

"Anyway," she continued, glancing out of the window towards the Great Hall, "I have a feeling that we're not going to like the message today."

For a Hall Assembly, this was rather… strange.

You see, dear reader, most Hall Assemblies in the Pantheon did involve people screaming hysterically, running around like headless chickens, and Angel trying to position herself in the exact centre of the room.

Most Hall Assemblies in the Pantheon, did not involve the self-proclaimed "Ultimate Shipper" sitting at the front of the stage, swinging her legs in a manner that would be happy if not for the utterly evil smile on her face.

"Hi guys!" She gestured for them to sit down on the chairs provided, Ray sweeping her chair for salt before cautiously sitting down. "If it isn't obvious, I'm the one who called you here. Basically, it's because I have an announcement to make." She paused dramatically.

"Shipping week has been approved!"

The reaction produced was a single loud groan (Jordan) and loud whooping (everyone else).

"There's something special I want to try with it though. Same rules, same everything, AU challenge is always optional but we always end up doing it anyway, ships have been pasted on your doors, have fun, run wild!" Joan winked as if she was an anime character. "Just keep in mind that something unexpected might happen. Ta!" A powerful motor rumbled, and Joan sank into the floor, laughing maniacally while spinning slowly.

Ray blinked. "I have no idea what I was expecting, but that… just wasn't it, in any way."

A large teddy bear suddenly fell from the sky and crashed onto her head, causing Hazel to burst out laughing.

"Ah. That's it. The universe feels more in place now."

Flies into the sun.

- Joan