Walking
I walked past you for the tenth time today. I told you I would wait for your answer to my feelings, because you said you were confused and needed time. Your spiked blond and black hair, soft despite its appearance. Your eyes done in the normal black eyeliner, do you get mocked for that? I walked past and saw the small girl at your side. The incessant talking hurt my ears, didn't it hurt yours? I gave a small sad smile as I met your eyes. My gaze left your warm honey brown eyes for the cold white tiled floor. I guess waiting a month wasn't the best of my ideas. Your nose band is darker then the usual opaque pearl color means you're in a band mood. I guess she would know that too huh? But she doesn't seem too, I see that your eyes follow me, seemingly as if you're trying to tell me something. I just take out my books from my yellow locker, three lockers down.
It's what had me fall in love with you to begin with; I would hear you talking to that honey-blond your friends with. How you're angry with this person for doing that, it was never something stupid. I learned you play Bass and your friend plays Lead Guitar. I learned your name was Reita for a stage name while his was Uruha. I learned your actual name only a week before I told you. Akira, why is it that you never look my way? I see you walk up to me, still staring. That girl has started staring at me too. I kind of wish you'd leave me alone with my thoughts.
"Aki-chaaan!" that girl says in that high pitched squeal, I see you slightly wince. I, fed up with that chatter and envious on how close she can be to you, turn to her.
"Mari-San will you please shut up! Your voice is worse the Mr. Takahashi during one of his singing fests." I knew she had that teacher too, one who sounds like a dying cat. She looked at me with embarrassed and prideful eyes, and then looked at you for support, possibly for you to hurt me. But your eyes never left mine, and your mouth never opened in protest. You just stared in that slightly interested, considering way of yours. Why are you always so silent? "Akira, gomen ne. I mean no harm, but I can't wait any longer." I bowed to you, your face showed shock, but I swear if you had better hearing you could hear my heart shatter. I saw Mari look at me as I snuck a glance back as I walked away from you. I turned forward after a small smile at your staring face. One of my friends came up, Ishihara I think. I am not sure as I wasn't looking.
Before I met you I hated myself, that's why the furthest reaches of my heart cry out your name.
Before I knew it I was at my class and I sat at my seat robotically. What was I expecting from you…from me? The teacher turns to the olive green chalkboard covered with the kanji of today's assignments that I don't bother to read and translate to notes and class work. You and I were never close…I love you from far away. I guess you would forget my words of love whispered hesitantly to you when I passed by a month ago. Do you even know my name? I try to forget your shocked face and work like the rest of the class, but to no avail. I keep stopping and remembering, forgetting to forget. The bell rings for us trapped students to be let out of school. I linger slightly walking slow, smiling slightly at the friends who run by, eager for their weekends to start. I walk to my locker, having no homework, I just put everything back in and take out my slim black journal, every passage a little glimpse into whatever I hold dear. It's no wonder it's mostly about you. I walk home and sidetrack into the park. I see you with the same girl as the third time I had walked past you, my heart was lighter then. Maybe this time I won't say something stupid. The girl turns with tears in her eyes, you hold her in a hug and say something softly and she nods and walks away. I look away and start writing today's events in the journal as I walk past, trying not to gain your attention. I jump as you pull the book out of my hand and hug me tight. You pull back before I could even move. I hear the words you say, but I swear your lips didn't move. My heart lighter then ever.