Kakashi never met Naruto until, like, recently and no one is dead except for a couple of people AU

Young ANBU Kakashi tries to get his life together.

Kakashi is... 26-ish. Naruto twenty-something.

A/N: I wasn't gonna start anything long but this was so fun to write. This is 100% self-indulgent schmuck.

Naruto.

Naruto.

Saying it made his heart beat faster, as if it was stumbling down a cobble street while dead-ass drunk.

Konoha's youngest Hokage was sitting by his desk, his face resting on his hands, peering out the window.

Kakashi admirably held on to his book, the autumn orange Icha Icha that had gone unread for the last twenty minutes. Naruto sighed, making funny grimaces while thinking intently. "Maybe if I go there first..." There was a minuscule movement in his shape, steady as a metronome, from his quickly tapping foot. He rubbed his face, trying to dispel the tiredness.

Kakashi sighed.

Naruto turned around in his swivel-chair, angling his body towards him. "What do you think, Hatake-san?"

He put a finger between the pages, closing the book, "I think you should send someone to check out the situation first."

A tiny wrinkle appeared on Naruto's face. "I'm not sending you, if that's what you thought."

"I hadn't even thought of it," Kakashi blinked innocently. "I'm just saying it would be-"

Naruto leaned back, confident, "You can go if I go with you."

"..."

"To make sure you don't do anything stupid like last time."

Kakashi sat back on the sofa, crossing his legs. The last mission he'd been on had been a rush-job, a hastily thought out plan that had many things that could go wrong, and few that did go right. Kakashi's job was a bit like domino, you had to make sure all the pieces went where they should by setting up the web beforehand and then waiting for a moment to administer the push. Most of what he did was waiting. Waiting in alleys and waiting outside of bars, waiting on rooftops and inside dirty, burly rooms. He spent a lot of time alone, despite that he had his team they often split up, trying to disappear completely in a crowd, like white noise in someone else's life.

It was never surprising when it did go wrong. He saw people take risks, with their own lives or others', idly forcing him to abandon all plans and make up a new on the fly. It could go days between meals, a week without sun. He went on, unaffected, dodging stray kunais and not-so stray kunais. No matter what life threw at him, he ducked.

At least, that had been the case until a couple of months ago. Now, it didn't work as well. There was gravel in the machinery of life.

God was in a good mood when he made you, Kakashi thought.

His sensei's son, Naruto, had become Hokage in June. Kakashi hadn't met him much before that. A few polite greetings here and there, nodding in the hallways. He barely saw his own sensei, and seeing his son was definitely a rare thing. He'd had no objections when Minato-sensei's replacement was announced. Naruto was thrifty. They'd offered Kakashi the position but he'd turned it down. He regarded the position as Hokage an unfortunate mix of responsibility and detachment. You lost your perspective when stuck behind a desk. Distance was lethal, and entropy expected. The moment of Naruto's inauguration Minato had seemed more relieved than sad. As if the white coat was eating on him, enclosing him. Some people fared better than others. Sarutobi had seemed to thrive with the challenges, as did Naruto. Whatever his strategy, it worked. He was joyfully ignorant of the nervousness he caused his bodyguards because of the constant, unplanned detours over the rooftops. His sloppy handwriting (that looked more like erratic lightning strikes than letters) caused the administration's office to pull their hair out. Yet no one said anything. Forgiveness was a blessing, and some people was allowed it in spades.

"I won't do anything stupid," Kakashi said. Blatant lie.

"Promise."

"..." Kakashi blinked. "Of course."

It was windy outside, a haughty spring breeze that made the flags outside the shops whip about in anguish. He shook his head to get rid of the hair that inevitably got stuck in his eyes. Staying clear of the busiest streets, he wound up buying food at a small locale, more like a distraught hole in the wall than an actual restaurant. Besides him the only other living thing was a potted plant, angrily climbing over the edge of its blue pot in a slow, excruciating prison break.

Hound scoffed at him when he got back, straightening up from a knife-sharpening slouch. "You look pleased."

Kakashi nodded. "No babysitter."

The other man flashed a smile, "Did you lie?"

Shrugging, "I wouldn't call it that."

Hound snorted. "I sure as hell won't complain." He took up the whetstone, carefully inching it over the edge.

Kakashi sat down on the other bench opposite him, leaning his head back against the metal lockers. People passed in the corridor, their voices muted by the thick walls. The clatter of steps and the soft, rhythmical whirring from the whetstone made him yawn. Crossing his arms, he sunk back with his full weight against the locker. Relaxation spread in his body. His arms felt heavy.

Hound plopped the tools down on the bench beside him. "It sounds like they're making a move tomorrow. I put in a request for our unit, but you know how it is."

Kakashi nodded, eyes still closed, heaving out a breath.

"Go to bed, you ass. You're making me sleepy too."

They got the order to move out just before dawn. Having been abruptly awoken, Kakashi rolled out of bed struggling for any concept of up and down, respectively. Hound tossed a shirt in his face. "Today."

He pried his eyes open, blinking at the cloud gray insides of the barracks. When he'd managed to get one of his arms in the t-shirt, Hound walked out, barking the order over his shoulder. "We leave in five."

By some cosmic lapse, he did make it in time. The chilly morning brought in mist, making the village appear clad in cotton candy, white castles of condensation built around the modest houses. Tekuno punched him in the arm, "Mornin'. You made it."

Kakashi grunted in reply.

"Alright, everyone's here, we're going."

They shuffled out of the town, a peaceful oasis in an otherwise thorny world.

Naruto was not having it. "I thought you said you wouldn't do anything stupid."

He was younger than Kakashi, borderline much younger, and he bossed him around like he had a right to. He was too young to have a clear concept of what ANBU service meant, too young for having given up his dreams even once. The world curled around his fingers, careful where it tread. Kakashi hadn't been so lucky. As far as he was concerned, the world had tap-danced on his ambitions ever since he was old enough to spell out the family name.

Hatake.

Heretic.

Sitting back, having reconciled with the unbridled stubbornness, Naruto frowned. "I'm demoting you."

Kakashi pressed his teeth together, frozen in his chair.

"You're not doing anything above C-rank missions."

Kakashi waited for a moment, giving him plenty of time to crack a smile, to go "Ha! You should have seen your face!".

Naruto looked back at him, frustrated but quiet.

"For how long?"

He shrugged. "Until they clear you."

Kakashi frowned.

Naruto scowled back, his face yet again supported by his right hand, elbow on the desk. "Don't look at me like that."