AU setting fic where everyone's human...and most characters are transposed fairly differently than you know from the show.

Caveat: I have no fucking idea where anything is in Virginia. I passed through once about 10 years ago on a road trip but didn't stay there. Mystic Falls isn't a real town anyway...so I'll let the town float wherever I feel like putting it which would be kinda close to DC and Arlington and maybe an hour from Newport News :)

Another caveat: I also have no fucking clue what Virginia divorce law is. But I'd hope a dissertation on it wouldn't be your reason for reading. ;) Tax law and some business law is my area of expertise.

VD and all characters property of LJ Smith.

Now sit back and enjoy this legal lemon drama! TEAM FOREWOOD!

Laws are spider webs through which the big flies pass and the little ones get caught. Balzac

It was another typical sunny spring morning in scenic Mystic Falls, Virginia, driving past businesses that wouldn't open for hours yet while I knew I wouldn't even be the first person to make it to my office. I heaved a sigh as I missed the green light by barely three seconds, sipping my third cup of coffee that morning.

As I waited for the light to change, I looked around at the more upscale side of town, the art galleries, the retail shops that definitely weren't high-volume businesses, the Mystic Grill. I briefly wondered what it would be like to say "Screw everything!" and open a business like one of these, that wouldn't involve getting up at 5 AM every day and working ten and sometimes twelve hour days.

But I'm so close to making partner at Schrecter & Rose that it's just not worth stopping now.

I'm what they call a "rainmaker". For those unfamiliar with the legal profession, rainmakers are lawyers that have constant winning streaks and are always bringing in new clients, thus constantly "raining" good fortune on the practice.

I busted my ass at Yale and worked hellish hours as a paralegal at a consumer protection law firm in New York before getting admitted to the bar. I then decided that home was where my heart was, so when I started taking on bigger cases and raking in six figures I bought my mom a smaller but nicer house in the more affluent side of town and took our old house as my own. No point in blowing wads of cash on fancy cars and a McMansion like my co-workers in New York did: people often go broke trying to appear rich. At least back at home, being a descendent of a founding family gave me status automatically and I had my rainmaker status at the firm to be a cause for impressing people.

So, it was a long hard road to where I got today and I'm vying to make partner.

I pulled into the firm's parking lot, longing for the day I'd see a reserved spot with my name on it like there was for the senior partners in the accounting firm we shared our office complex with, and the senior partners in my firm, Klaus Schrecter and Lexi Rose.

Lexi was a sharp woman who didn't take shit from anybody, and she went through more assistants than most company meetings went through donuts. She had been there when it was still Schrecter & Schrecter, and a woman I didn't like to be around when she wasn't in a good mood. But that quality helped her win many a case when other defense attorneys were just plain afraid to go up against her and she was known for constantly having hung juries.

Klaus was a German-American who was older than dirt but still spry and he refused to stop doing what he loved. In fact, his dedication to his career put a strain on his first marriage because he saw his wife probably around six hours a week total. Since he was married to an ER doctor at the hospital nearby now, I assume she understood his plight far better.

I hoped the day I got my reserved parking spot, partner pen, and plush new office chair that didn't automatically deflate when I sat on it would come soon.

"Caroline," my assistant and long-time best friend Bonnie Bennett called after I stepped off the elevator. "Klaus gave me this memo, said that you have to see him immediately."

"But I didn't even turn my computer on yet." I gestured towards my moderately full inbox that would surely be overflowing later.

Bonnie shrugged. "It sounded pretty big and important." Her eyes lit up for a second. "Maybe he'll tell you you're going to make partner?"

"I can only hope!" I replied as I took the memo and walked down the hallway to Klaus's office, breathing in the smell of leather and High Karate (aka Eau de Old Guy), wondering when one of these private offices would be mine. Klaus's assistant Eric motioned me to sit down on the enormous leather divan across from his desk.

"Miss Forbes," Klaus began. "We just got the case of the year."

I immediately got excited. What would it be? Ponzi scheme? Sexual harassment? Ooh! Maybe it would be a case that would make me a modern-day Clarence Darrow, like a mother suing a big company with deep pockets for demoting her...Caroline Forbes Esq., rainmaker, crusher of the glass ceiling.

"Stefan, of the Salvatore family, just gave us a call and is seeking representation for his divorce."

My hopes were dashed as quickly as they had gotten up.

The Salvatore family reeked of old money, a shipping magnate dating back to colonial times. I had driven past their massive estate before, I imagine it must've been pretty fabulous in those times with a crew of servants, lawn parties, and the like. Mrs. Salvatore unfortunately died of cancer when her sons were pretty young. Mr. Salvatore Sr. had died of a heart attack not too long ago, his funeral was a highly publicized event that many people attended. But what got serious press attention was the fact that shortly after his death, Stefan and his wild playboy brother Damon each got an eight-figure inheritance.

But the Salvatores were one of the Mystic Falls founding families, and like all affluent Virginia families that go back, they were often the subject of much press and scrutiny. Not too much longer before his father died, Stefan had married Katherine Pierce, a spoiled high society it-girl whose father was a big influence in Congress. Ie, in big business and constantly doling out bribes to keep outsourcing totally legal so they could keep bringing home millions. What was that saying from the Roman senator Tacitus, "The more corrupt a state, the more numerous the laws"?

Katherine was pretty famous, sort of like Paris Hilton but without all of the business savvy. (But all the whiniess and bitchiness.) She'd probably have her own reality show soon enough.

While an old money family like the Salvatores would mean we'd have no trouble getting paid, still, I'd be hoping for a really exciting and challenging case. A rich guy divorce probably meant he just wanted us to keep the ex-wife away from his assets, or he'd probably be willing to settle out of court once he laid his eyes on the next trophy wife. That's usually what happened in these cases.

Klaus's age had to be catching up with him, how the hell could this be the case of the year?

"Okay, so Stefan Salvatore wants to get divorced. How is this any different from any other old money divorce? Should be a pretty open and shut case, right?"

Klaus shook his head. "Open and shut, yes. But the same as other old money divorce cases, no. Katherine Pierce is a spotlight whore who seeks attention so much, that she poses for the paparazzi. The kids are always Twittering and whatnot over the last thing she did that caused a big scream.

And she's probably not going to settle out of court for whatever Stefan is willing to give her. She'll be probably want to go to court and make this into a dramatic battle that could last months. Since even bad publicity is still publicity to her."

I was beginning to see his point. "So...between all of the billable hours, the Salvatores trying to pull damage control, doing what he can to keep the inheritance safe, we stand to make a huge amount of money off this divorce," I mused to myself. "More than ANY divorce we've ever finalized."

"Exactly!" Klaus urged. "When a divorce case gets this much media attention, that also means face time for you. On TV, in newspapers, and the like. Imagine all the attention this will bring to the firm- if we win this case, every man in a twenty-mile radius or even bigger who wants a divorce is going to want the same representation that Stefan Salvatore had...as will girls who hate Katherine Pierce and want to see her crushed."

"Settling out of court is still possible."

"In which case we'll draw up the papers but charge accordingly. But settlement or not, I need my rainmaker to take this case." He paused. "You win this one for us and get all this publicity, then I think making you partner could be arranged."

That was all the convincing I needed. "Rainmaker Forbes accepts."

"Great! Mr. Salvatore will be seeing you Monday morning."

I walked back to my office that seemed so paltry compared to Klaus's luxurious corner office with the huge bay window. Bonnie had a vanilla rice-milk latte waiting for me, my favorite.

"So what was that all about?"

"You know the Salvatore family? Old money, Founders' Council? Stefan and Katherine are getting divorced and Klaus wants me to handle it."

"Get the fuck out of here! That's amazing, Caroline!"

I shrugged. "I don't see what the big deal is. It's just another divorce case, except they're more rich and famous than the average upper middle class divorces we handle."

Bonnie laughed and shook her head. "Girl, don't you spend any time on Facebook?"

I made my way to my inbox which indeed had gotten bigger since my long chat with Klaus. "No," I called. "I hope I'm not compensating my assistant for just going on Facebook."

I could hear her pouting from the other room. "Come on now, how many times have I helped you win a case with my good investigative skills with stuff that I found on Facebook? If only people knew just HOW incriminating it could be, I don't think 98% of the world would be using it."

"Get to the point, Bonnie." I started making a note of the order I would do the depositions I had to take for the day.

"Point is, a big chunk of the country, not just Mystic Falls, follows what goes on with the Salvatore brothers. And with Katherine Pierce. If you ever turned on a computer for anything other than work, you'd know that!"

I had to be honest, I don't know what the hell I would do without Bonnie.

"Maybe they're not as big as Brangelina or anyone on Jersey Shore, but this case could be huge for the firm. You'll constantly get reporters following you around." Alright, that bit I could live without.

"You'll get so much business that the Mystic Falls office won't be enough. You'll need branch offices in New York and L.A.!" That I could definitely live with, and if I made partner, I could choose to relocate or stay in Mystic Falls in my old house like I preferred.

I looked up from my papers. "You're right Bonnie...I haven't really thought this through. Klaus is right, this IS a pretty big case. It's just going to be a typical divorce tug-of-war between our dearly-beloveds except this one will have constant press, betting pools on Twitter, and a guy from a founding family who will probably do whatever he has to do to save his name and inheritance."

"Now you're definitely going to make partner with THAT attitude!" Bonnie sunnily smiled as she appeared in my doorway. "This totally calls for a celebration. Can you imagine what kind of big fat retainer you're going to get from Stefan Salvatore? Probably enough to buy another small house!"

The thought about the retainer definitely brightened my day. Maybe I would take a much-needed vacation with that retainer once the divorce and the other cases on my docket were through.

I had taken a few depositions and did some filing with the county clerk's office, an injunction and search warrant here and there, then lunchtime rolled around. "Bon, you feel like the Grill today? Three-martini lunch is on me!"

"I'm totally down!"

We got in my car and headed to the Mystic Grill. We'd barely even walked into the restaurant when we saw two girls walking and talking to each other, and one whipped out her iPhone and said, to her friend "Katherine Pierce and Stefan Salvatore are getting divorced! Holy fuck, she's going to take him for every penny! She had this tearful v-log up this morning, did you see it?"

Bonnie touched my arm. "See what I mean? You just GOT this case and already people are talking about it!"

"Shh, not so loud!" I slid into my favorite booth and grabbed a menu. "I just hope it doesn't get to the point that I can't come here without people asking me about it. That would totally suck. Now I see why Klaus assigned this case to me...wants to see what I'm made of. If I'm really partner material, I won't crumble under all the stress from the publicity."

"That's a good way of looking at it." Bonnie ordered our drinks. "But seriously Caroline, we gotta celebrate. This is a HUGE deal. In fact," she reached into her purse, "I know what would be perfect." She produced a bright red envelope addressed to me, and a laminated VIP pass fell out along with a small professionally printed card that looked like an invitation.

"What's this?"

"Remember that case you took back in November, that model Vickie Donovan who sued for defamation?"

Vickie Donovan was a model-cum-actress-cum-singer from DC who I represented when she sued a former co-worker for writing a tell-all book about some of the shameful things she had done to get bit parts in her Hollywood days. About half of it was true, but when I stopped that book from going to the presses, she was eternally grateful to me and she dropped a line every now and then. Though after the long court debacle, the experience made her no longer want to be famous and constantly in the public eye. She used her money from the catwalk days to open various nightclubs across the country in affluent areas. Needless to say, she became quite happy not to mention rich with the nightclub business and never wanted to appear in another magazine again unless it was Crain's or WSJ to discuss nightclub management.

"Yes, of course. She's having a party I take it?"

Bonnie was clearly bursting with excitement. "Oh, not just a party. She's opening a new club in Newport News tomorrow night. It's in that really rich, exclusive area by the waterfront- you know, some of those clubs that have lines snaking around for blocks if you don't need a key to get in?"

I laughed to myself. "I just wonder how she picked it...she has two clubs in L.A., one in New York, one in Aspen, one in Paris...why Newport News?"

"Please, Virginia's the new frontier for urban sophisticates. The new money's getting drawn to the old money. Anyway, you got an invitation personally addressed to you from Ms. Donovan herself for the Newport News opening, as a VIP plus one." She paused. "Unless you have a date in mind I was hoping I could go..."

The waiter came by with our sandwiches. "Of course you can be my plus one! Hell, I think you're more excited for this club opening than I am!"

"Come on Car, I don't do anything exciting anymore. I have to work full-time as your assistant, and can take two classes a semester at State University. At this rate, I'm going to be fucking 50 and making plans to retire by the time I get my bachelors' let alone going to law school or grad school." She took a big bite of her sandwich. "Even though it's just two classes, it's still so much reading and homework. Not to mention that Jeremy's putting himself through art school and a BA may not even guarantee him a job. I'm so tired of hearing all these people at the office complain about young people partying, I don't even remember the last time I got to party because I don't have the time or money for it."

I felt really bad about this. "Bon, I can put a good word in with Klaus about having them pay for you to go to school. It's exempt in the tax code!" I paused to take a drink. "And you know you can always borrow money from me if you and Jeremy are really struggling to pay rent. I'm far nicer than the student loan sharks."

"Aw I can't do that. What if I can't pay you back?"

"With the huge retainer I'm probably going to get from the Salvatore divorce, I could probably send you to Princeton!"

She laughed. "Alright Forbes Magazine- so are you down for the party? Vickie said to text her assistant to RSVP."

"Text away, Caroline Forbes plus one."

She sent the RSVP. "I'm so glad you decided to do this. Not only do we need to properly celebrate and unwind, but this totally gives us an excuse to buy some hot new dresses."

I clapped my hands. "Yes! Let's hit Dillard's after work today!"

"Aaand...who knows, maybe you'll meet a pretty hot guy at this and get swept off your feet!"

"Oh come on, that's not going to happen."

"How do you know that? I mean, I never predicted in a million years that I'd end up with Jeremy Gilbert after just one drunken hook-up after the Founders' Carnival. After Luca betrayed me, it took an incredibly long time for me to attempt trusting men ever again...and Jeremy had just been there under my nose the whole time."

I sighed. "I think enough time's passed since Matt unceremoniously dumped me. But I just intimidate so many guys with my success. If they're not after my money thinking they'll be the Real Househusbands of Mystic Falls, then they're inappropriately older men I am totally not interested in."

She shrugged. "Well, you don't have to meet Mr. Right at the new club...maybe just a Mr. Wrong to have some fun with!"

We ate the rest of our sandwiches then Bonnie's Sidekick went off, it was Vickie's assistant.

"Holy crap! Talk about VIP treatment- Vickie said that she'd have a limo come pick us up tomorrow to take us directly to the club. Just give her your address."

I downed the rest of my drink. "Well, ain't that a sign that I've arrived- Caroline Forbes Esq., master of the fucking universe."

Waiting for the lemony goodness? Be patient.

After all, there's the opening of Vickie's new club. And meeting Caroline's incredibly rich client.

Reviews are better than three-martini lunches...it might make the next chapter come faster. (Something you WANT to come faster. ;) )