In moments like these... I tend to miss you more, tend to feel the pain more. I guess, this is the time that I have to let go...give up. I don't think there is a way that I can make you turn my way no matter what I try. I had been patient for the past two years, standing by, watching from afar. I have guard my secret from you for far too long. I guess this is the time to bury it and keep it forgotten. Because there is no way you are going to reciprocate it or even glance my way. It hurts even more when you ignore me, although you don't do it on purpose or at least I know you don't. I had deliberately stayed away, I had deliberately kept my distance, not wanting to be too close and scare you away. But you unintentionally ignored me or even forgot about me and that hurts even more.
I tried to say goodbye a couple of times and even pick a fight with you to make you hate me, thinking it would be easier for me to leave if you hate me, but you seek me out and talk me out of it. But this is not good. I'm feeling miserable as I have felt before when we are just plain friends and you belong to someone else and I pretend to be with someone else but all the while I was just waiting for you.
All our conversations have meaning to me, if you could only read between the words and lines I gave you, my heart is already shouting out what I feel for you, over and over again, through my unspoken words but deliberate actions. Call me a coward, I would be proud of it, if this is the only way I could be close to you or be near you, I would just constantly watch from the distance, would continue hiding the words behind hidden meanings to satisfy my hurting heart.
Ahhh...love...what sad fate you put me through, with an elusive Juliet with no families to hinder but something more harder obstacle for my elusively shy and forlorn Romeo. Ahh...fates...it was really doomed from the start!
I am sick...my heart is hurting as well. I want to bury under the covers and forget the world...forget you. But how long am I gonna last to try to forget you, I can forget the world but how can I forget you? Your face is imprinted in my memory, no delete button, no erasing memory machine, no magic or illusion that could disenchant me when it comes to you. I guess, after all of these...my heart would go on...another year...another season...would continue falling for my reluctant Juliet from her secret Romeo.