Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, or any of the music mentioned in this chapter.
A/N:
So, these are originally chapters 17-19 from the multi-chapter fanfic Transverse, so if you have read that, you won't find anything new in here, but this
disclaimer, sorry. I just love them so much that – am I allowed to say that having written them, oh well, I just did;) – I wanted to open them up to a wider
audience by posting them as a one-shot. I hope you enjoy.
So, the music piece is Claude Debussy's De L'Aube a Midi sur la Mer. You can find it on youtube right here:
www[dot]youtube[dot]com/watch?v=sNCMcACEe7I
You know how it works, replace the [dot] with, well actual dots…;)
Blaine plays all of it on the piano during the recital of his they were at earlier in Transverse, and Kurt here plays the part that you can hear from 2:29 to
3:04. (I recommend beginning to listen at 2:20, should you only listen to this small part of it, just to have a moment to get into it). I think it is beautiful and
unusual, just as Kurt is. Soft in parts but forceful too in its way, again, just as Kurt himself is. And in my mind his mom played it for that reason to him. I
also imagine her having been like that a lot herself, unusual and mesmerizing, sitting there in that rocking chair, with baby Kurt in her lap, playing the
transverse flute, and so alive:).
I hope you are not disappointed by my song choice for this. There is this mixture of hope and despair in this particular piece that to me feels so right for this
story. Please go listen to it, and let me know how You think and FEEL, most of all how you feel, about it.
The Skylight
When Blaine heard the word attic he had immediately thought of a dark space, full of cobwebs and crowded with boxes and other things left to themselves,
just sitting there, gathering dust.
The space they step into when Kurt opens the door, and turns on the light, Blaine realizes within seconds, is nothing like that.
Sure there are some boxes in the far end of one corner, but the rest, well, it almost looks like a room…someone's room. The colors it is kept in are distinctly
soft, warm and light, and Blaine does not doubt for a second that Kurt picked them himself.
"When we moved in we had an extra window added on the left - to the two small ones that were already there on the right - to make the space brighter,
more welcoming. Natural light, and all that." Kurt says in a low voice.
"Right." Blaine replies nodding "You told me last time I visited that you only moved here a short while ago."
Kurt simply nods, and squeezes Blaine's left hand, which he is still holding with his right, lightly. At that Blaine's gaze wanders to their hands.
Holding Kurt's hand, he realizes with a smile, already feels so natural that he had completely forgotten for a moment they still were, holding hands that is.
But that does in no way mean he takes it for granted, and he wants to let Kurt know just that, without ruining the moment with too many words, or any
words at all. So he makes sure to intertwine their fingers more thoroughly before he looks back up.
"I sometimes miss our old house. I am not sure…"Kurt hesitates, but Blaine understands and finishes the sentence "…whether this will ever truly feel like
home."
"Yes." Kurt smiles locking eyes with Blaine. The moment feels too perfect to just let it pass, so Kurt leans in and presses a soft kiss to Blaine's lips. When he
pulls back Blaine's eyes are still closed and Kurt's smile widens, because he is the one who is putting this blissful look on Blaine's face.
"Blaine?" Kurt says tenderly. "Ready to find out why we are here?"
And suddenly Blaine's eyes are wide open, and Kurt cannot help the laugh that escapes his lips at the eager look on his boyfriend's face.
"Ready if you are." Blaine says while Kurt leads him over to the left side of the room. They come to a halt directly under the skylight, which now in the dark
does not reveal much of the actual sky, and instead in the artificial light throws the boys reflection right back at them. Kurt looks up, and huffs. "Ugh, my
hair looks horrible. Remind me to try out a different kind of hairspray. This brand does just so not live up to its promises."
"Only if you help me find some stronger hair gel as well."
"Deal."
"What is this smell? It's nice."
Blaine watches with slight confusion as Kurt lets go of his hand and walks over to a simple but beautiful dresser, standing to the left of the skylight, close to
a soft, thick blanket spread out directly under the skylight. Kurt pulls all the drawers open wide and in the next second plops down on the blanket, gesturing
for Blaine to join him. When Blaine reaches him Kurt is already lying on his back, eyes closed, taking in deep breaths. Blaine lies down mimicking Kurt's
position to the boy's left, and before he knows it, Kurt is cuddling into Blaine's right side. Kurt's head resting on Blaine's chest. Blaine softly wraps his arms
around Kurt, holding him close.
Only now Blaine notices that the smell has intensified, and looking over to the dresser instantly identifies it as the source.
Kurt who has opened his eyes and sees Blaine's gaze resting on the dresser says "My mum's perfume. I come here on Mother's Day, Christmas, her
birthday, her deathday…whenever I had the worst of days at McKinley I came here, well, not here here until recently obviously, but…her and my dad's old
room, in the house I grew up in."
"You miss that house." It is not a question.
"Sometimes. I mostly miss her though, and…I felt just that little closer to her in that house, so when we moved here, I asked my dad for this space. You
have seen how he is, he could not bring himself to say no to me, not with this." Kurt gestures to the furniture, clothes and small selection of antiques
surrounding them. And Blaine's gaze is momentarily drawn to a half-finished picture of a beautiful garden in full bloom resting against the wall next to what
Blaine suspects to be a full-length mirror covered with some thin veil-like cloth. "She never…it was the last thing she worked on, my dad told me, before she
felt too weak to…" Kurt cannot bring himself to finish the sentence, and Blaine can feel Kurt's silent tears staining his shirt. Blaine lets Kurt cry, holding him,
stroking affectionately, soothingly with his left hand through Kurt's hair. Whispering "I love you," now and then; and as Kurt's breathing begins to even out
again, he asks. "So what was it again that you wanted to show me?"
Kurt glances shortly at Blaine and then gestures towards a longish black case resting on a rocking chair to the right of the skylight.
Kurt is about to get up, when Blaine stops him "It's alright, I got it."
Kurt smiles at Blaine and nods. "Okay."
Holding the black case in his hands as he walks back over to Kurt he is fairly sure he has a good idea of what is resting in it.
Handing it to Kurt, Blaine sits back down next to him.
Kurt takes a breath, and begins to speak "So, this you probably figured by now belonged to my mum. She used to play on it for me and to me, already while
she was pregnant with me. My dad swears that must be how I got my perfect pitch. I say it's from tuning cars with him," He smiles, and Blaine has to laugh.
"It is a flute, right?" Blaine says in a soft voice.
"Yes. How did you know?"
"The weight of it in my hand, it just felt like it to me. I am like that with instruments."
Blaine lets out a surprised "oh," as soon as Kurt opens the case.
"Oh?" Kurt asks back.
"It is a…"
"…a transverse flute." Kurt completes the sentence.
"I thought it felt a little too heavy for it to be exactly what I pictured."
"It's okay." Kurt smirks "Don't worry, I still love you. Although your lack of ability to tell exactly what is in variously sized and shaped boxes just by looking
at them and caring them around is frankly shocking, and inexcusable."
Their eyes lock and both boys burst into a fit of laughter.
Blaine watches as Kurt clearly knowledgeable puts the instrument together, and in the next moment to his own lips.
He looks briefly at Blaine and says "So, this was always my mum's favorite to play to me." Then he closes the gap between his mouth and the instrument
and begins to play. Within seconds Blaine recognizes the piece. Having just spent days rearranging it himself for the piano, with a little help from Miss
Bright, he would be ashamed of himself if he did not. He watches as Kurt's slender fingers, practically made for the instrument, elegantly dance on its silvery
surface.
When his eyes wander to Kurt's face he gasps. 'I have never seen Kurt look so serene.'
Kurt stops at a part which seems to Blaine as random as the starting point he chose. When he opens his eyes he finds Blaine simply sitting there smiling
softly at him.
"My mother loved Debussy."
"'De l'Aube a Midi sur la Mer' is a really beautiful piece." Blaine simply replies.
"It was so sweet of you to rearrange it for piano and play it for me. I just…it just…"
"It reminded you of your mum."
"Yes, but not just that. The part I just played to you. She played that to me whenever I was really upset or down, and when you told me you were playing
for me today to cheer me up, and let me know how very much you care about me…"
"Make that love." Blaine almost blurts out, and Kurt has to smile at that before he continues.
"…how very much you love me. It was so sweet, but it was too much all at once. She used to sit in that rocking chair over there playing it to me, first with
me still being in her and then with me sitting on her lap. And…and every time before she put the flute to her lips she would tell me how much she loves me,
and that everything was going to be alright."
"I am sorry I used the piece without asking you first about its deeper meaning to you."
"In a way I am happy you did, you know, because it lead to you showing me more of yourself, and to me showing you all this. And I have missed someone
to share it with, to share her with, for a long time now. My dad has a hard time talking about her, and he has Carole now, so I try not to bring my mum up
that much around him anymore. I…I just…"
"I would love to get to know her, and remember her with you." Blaine says placing both of his hands on top of Kurt's still resting on the transverse flute on
his knees.
"Do you ever not know what to say?" Kurt smiles.
"Well…emh…eeeeeh…" Blaine smirks.
"Oh, so now you are making fun of me?"
"Maybe. A little."
"Well, guess what you are going to be sleeping on the couch tonight."
"Wow. Wait a second Kurt. How did this happen, I have been your boyfriend for only a couple of hours and I am already banned from the bedroom to the
couch? Aren't we skipping some rather fun make-out sessions here?"
Kurt blushes violently, but retorts "Well, if you are not careful you will never make it from the couch into the bedroom at all."
Blaine decides right now is the perfect time to put his secret weapon to good use.
"Oh, not fair Blaine. No. Stop pouting at me at once. Gosh, you did that this morning, singing Misery. Stop. Now."
"But Kurt, I saw your face during the performance you secretly love my pout."
"Guilty." Kurt admits, "You don't know how hard it was not to lean down and kiss you right there and then."
Blaine in response only pouts some more.
"I give up." Kurt says and then leans his head down to where Blaine's head is resting on his shoulder and presses his lips hungrily against Blaine's. Who lifts
his own head a little and responds at least as eagerly.
"Wait." Kurt pulls back for a moment. "I just need to pack the flute away." Blaine, lets out an already slightly breathless "Oh, yes, of course. Go ahead," and
watches Kurt, as he with sure but tender movements puts everything back into its place.
"You are so graceful, Kurt. How have I never before noticed how graceful your hands are, no matter what you do?" Blaine says as Kurt sits back down next
to him.
"Well, you are just bouncy. I bet your nickname as a child was Tigger. Always rushing and bouncing around, of course you did not notice how graceful I am
before. You need to sit still for more than two seconds to do so. Lucky for you I am utterly mesmerizing, so you really had no choice."
"True," Blaine smiles.
"Which part?"
"The nickname. Everything else is complete nonsense of course." Blaine winks.
Kurt lets out a guttural sound at that Blaine is absolutely certain he has never heard Kurt make before. 'I would so remember that,' is all Blaine has time to
think before he is pushed back down into a lying position on the blanket, Kurt on top of him.
'Oh wow, Kurt is on top of me.'
Both lean in at the same time, and their mouths meet with more force than either boy intended, but it feels so good, so right, neither even considers to
complain.
After a couple of minutes of awkward half-hovering over, half-leaning on Blaine Kurt settles himself a little to Blaine's right, his own right leg slightly tangled
in between Blaine's.
Now that he does not have to use both his hands to hold himself up anymore Kurt uses his left to steady himself a little while he rests his right hand splayed
on Blaine's chest, directly over his heart.
Blaine can feel the warmth of Kurt's touch through the fabric of his shirt, and it makes his skin tingle.
"Your heart is beating really fast." Kurt says, pulling out of the still ongoing kiss.
"All your doing, Babe." Blaine smiles tenderly brushing a rogue strand of hair out of Kurt's face.
"You love doing that, don't you?"
"If you mean making good use of every excuse I have to touch your hair. Yes, yes I do. It is so soft. I wish mine was more like that."
"Well, if you would ever let me see it without all that gel in it, I might be able to help you with that."
"I doubt it Kurt. It is a mess up there. I don't even like gel, I really just don't know what else to do about it."
"Lucky I found you." Kurt says now completely settling into Blaine's side, resting his head on his boyfriend's chest.
"You will never hear me argue that one." Blaine whispers back.
As their breathing falls into a steady rhythm with each other neither boy will be able to tell in the morning who drifted off to sleep first.
When Burt enters the room to check on them, knowing he will find them here, with Kurt's bedroom still empty at 2 in the morning, he has to smile at how
peaceful those two look wrapped in each other's arms.
But it is after all March, and it can still get rather chilly up her at this time of year; so Burt takes the blanket he has brought up with him and slowly covers
the two boys with it up to their shoulders.
Having shifted in their sleep Blaine is the one now resting his head on the left of Kurt's chest, right above his heart. So Burt walks over to his dead wife's
dresser, closes all the drawers Kurt opened before, except for one, out of which he pulls a pillow he knows Kurt keeps in there. Then he slowly pushes that
drawer closed too.
He walks back over to the boys, kneels down next to Kurt for a moment, gently lifts the sleeping boys head before placing it back onto the pillow now lying
under it. "You can thank me in the morning for not having a sore neck," Burt whispers.
"Thank you Dad." Kurt whispers back in his sleep.
Burt slowly gets up, and walks back over to the door, as he turns of the light he looks back once more onto the sleeping form of the two boys now resting
hopefully more comfortably under the night sky now visible through the skylight. "I keep forgetting what a light sleeper you are, Kiddo," Burt says more to
himself than anyone else as he quietly closes the door.
As Burt descends the stairs he smiles to himself.
'It feels so different, knowing he is not up here alone this time. I always worried so much. I know he thinks I never notice him coming up here to sleep.
Sneaking out of his room after another nightmare, and creeping up the stairs. I should have known something was up with that Karofsky kid when Kurt
started spending almost every minute in our old house in front of that dresser.'
Kurt did not blame his father for not noticing. After all, the heart attack had been a tough blow for the both of them, and Burt had remained tired and
groggy for weeks after.
But Burt, father he is, cannot help placing some of the blame, for letting it come that far last year, with himself.
"I am so happy for them. They need each other, so much though that it sometimes scares me." Burt says when he walks into Carole's and his bedroom.
Carole offers him a warm smile, "I think it scares them too. In fact, I think that is why it took them so long to really see each other. Kurt only recently
stopped walking around with that dreamy look in his eyes, and nothing but praise for Blaine. And Blaine, well, after what he told us tonight I am not
surprised he held back for so long. It must be terribly hard for him to trust anyone. I think he is scared of hurting Kurt by getting not just close, but
potentially too close to him."
"What are we going to do about all this?"
"Burt."
"Mmh?"
"Let us go to bed, and figure that out in the next couple of days, when we have had some time to really think about it."
Burt nods calmly,"You should have seen them up there in the attic, I can't even remember the last time Kurt looked that peaceful, asleep or awake."
When Kurt opens his eyes, it still being pitch black outside, and far too early to get up, or in fact be awake at all, the first thing he sees is the clear starry
night sky. The second thing he notices is the pillow under his head. 'So Dad really was here.' Kurt smiles to himself.
When his eyes finally fall on the dark haired boy resting his head on Kurt's chest the smile widens, and his breath catches for a moment in his throat.
"Your heart is beating faster now."
"Blaine, how long have you been awake?"
"Just now, actually. I love this, waking up to the sound of your breathing and your heartbeat."
"Look up. That is even more amazing."
Blaine looks up and beams at Kurt. "You are right, more amazing."
"No Silly, not me. Up there." Kurt nods towards the night sky.
When Blaine finally turns his head to look out the skylight he says "Not bad either, true. I prefer to look at you right now though. Your bed hair, well floor
hair technically, is adorable."
"Says mister curly hair."
Blaine's hands come up to his hair instantly.
"Ha, messing with you, don't worry your helmet of gel is still more or less in place."
Kurt's eyes wander to where he knows to be an old grandfatherclock in the room "Now how is it that we are we up at... 5:40am?"
"I don't know about you Kurt, but I wanted to enjoy the company of my boyfriend a little more before I have to share him with his family and friends at
Dalton again."
Kurt replies with only a content smile, and pressing a tender kiss to Blaine's forehead.
"I love you too." Blaine whispers up to Kurt before snuggling back into his side, Kurt's arms coming around Blaine, pulling him that little bit closer.
Before they know it both boys have drifted into an even deeper sleep than before.