Title: Swarm
Summary: He was alone and now unarmed and they just kept coming, surrounding him on all sides, making his escape impossible. Would he get out alive or was this really the end?
Disclaimer: Sadly I own nothing from the awesomeness that is Flashpoint, that belongs to CTV, CBC and whoever else! Lol if I did, you'd never see Spike or me again! Hehe :D
A/N: Okay so this is I swear total crack-fic! For those that don't know what crack-fic means in fanfiction world I have also included the definition. This is what happens when a perfectly good muse is subjected to a very sleep-deprived writer with an obvious obsession for a certain member of the SRU (hello officer Lane) and gummy bears. Guys this was written at like 1am so yeah bear with me hahhaha *doh*
Crack Fic (as defined in Urban Dictionary online)
1. A type of fanfiction (or original fiction) that is intentionally unbelievable and insane; often humorous. Usually short, one-shot stories.
2. A type of fiction where it is believed that the author must be on crack to have written such a story because it's so bizarre or off the wall.
"Okay seriously Ed that…well whatever it is you are saying has been driving me nuts all day. I know we are both overtired but I swear when I looked through the scope, I saw a damn gummy bear," Wordy groans as he closes his locker after their long day had finally come to a close.
"Hey blame Clark not me. He's been teasing Izzy with it ever since he bought her a gummy bear stuffy and it's been driving me nuts."
"ABCD….what?"
"I tell you and you'll drop it right? I mean I swear when I close my eyes now at night all I see are those stupid bears," Ed gently chuckles. "ABCD – gummy bears are chasing me. Some are Green and some are Blue, the Yellow ones have got my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the Red ones have a knife."
"There are no blue gummy bears."
"Wordy..."
"A knife?"
"Rhymes with life. She's too young to know what that means…any of it thank goodness."
"Clever, did he make it up?"
"No he found it online."
"You know most guys his age would be surfing for…"
"I know and it's stupid. I told you now drop it," Ed reminds his friend as he goes to close his locker.
"And what's this?" Wordy's hand reaches into Ed's locker and pulls out a small red gummy bear that was on the ledge. "Something you want to share with the rest of the class officer Lane?"
"Funny," Ed's hand snatches the small chewy candy and eats it. "I don't like to share," he winks at his best friend and then heads for the briefing room. He was tired and wanted nothing more than to get some sleep but Greg always wanted to close with a team meeting so he as team lead had to listen and set the pace. Ed enters the quiet team room and slumps down into a nearby chair, his eyes searching for the wall clock and praying everyone would just talk fast and call it a night.
"Eddie?" Greg's hand rests on his shoulder, gently waking him from his slumber. "Hey you awake? Where's the rest of the team? Can you get them?"
"Thought they'd be here by now. Yeah...be right back," Ed pushes himself up from his chair and slowly heads for the exit, rubbing his neck and swallowing back another yawn. He nears the locker room, enters and finds it empty. "Hey guys…" he calls out, getting only silence in return. He gently pounds his fist on the wall and heads back to the team room, expecting to find them waiting for him.
Instead he enters and looks in shock as there were four gummy bears instead of his team members, each sitting at one of the chairs; and an extra red one in Greg's place. Ed blinks his eyes and shakes his head, hoping to wake himself up from his stupid dream. It didn't work, instead he watches each of the four nearly transparent heads turn and look at him with expecting eyes.
"Okay I'm just gonna…" Ed utters in disbelief as he pulls his phone and dials Greg's number. "I seriously am losing it," he mumbles as he waits for Greg to pick up. But after getting only empty rings in return he heads back to the locker room to get his jacket and just leave. But this time as he nears the locker room he hears odd chanting and picks up the pace, only to round the corner and stop short.
"Get them…get them…"
"What the hell?" He states in shock, watching his team embroiled in struggles with myriads of green, blue, yellow and red colored gummy bears.
"Ed run!" Wordy shouts at him as Ed watches a swarm of the gooey soft candies starting to pounce on his friend and cover him with sticky paste; turning him into a giant gummy bear. "Don't…let them…get you."
"Get them…get them…"
"I can solve this," Ed mumbles to himself as he heads for the weapons locker and spies his large sniper rifle. "Damn gummy bears won't get me," he quickly loads the gun with rubber bullets and then goes in search of the ridiculous candy army. He comes across Greg in the hallway, nearly turned completely red by team that was trying to assimilate him into a giant gummy bear. But firing at Greg would hurt, change of plans.
"Get them…get them…"
"Oh stop with the damn chanting already," Ed groans as he heads back to the weapons locker to get a few tazers. They would hurt a bit less if on the low setting and maybe it would shock the gummy bears long enough for his team to get the upper hand. But just as he grabs the second the chanting gets louder…
"Get him…get him…"
The words had changed. Was he now alone? The only one not taken down by their brightly colored assailants. He watches an angry battalion of green and blue gummy bears starting to get closer, drops the tazers and grabs his gun, firing off a few rounds and blasting them into little bits of sugary jelly that started to splat everywhere.
"Ha take that!" Ed states with triumph until he feels something pulling on his leg. It was a small group of yellow ones that were trying to take him down as he was distracted by the others. "Hey! Give that…back," Ed growls as he pulls his leg, leaving his shoe in their little yellow grasp and charges toward the entrance. He rounds the corner and stops again mid-stride. There was a wall of the gummy bear's between him and the exit.
"Trapped," Ed huffs as he looks at the gun in his hands. How many rounds did he have left? They just seemed to keep multiplying, like one of those never ending bags you get at Costco.
"Get him…get him…"
"I am team lead, I can't let a bunch of untrained candy treats beat me," Ed growls as he readies his weapons. He starts to fire, shooting anything that was brightly colored and wanting to make an advance. But they just kept coming and coming and coming…
"Get him…get him…"
But just as he was about to go back and refill he's suddenly pounced on from above, sending him to his knees and the guns flying. He fights them back, determined to heed Wordy's warning to not let them get him at any cost. Ed finally gets to his knees and the chanting stops for a moment, allowing him to catch his breath and look around. But as he turns to his left he watches as the sea of gummy bears part and a lone red one was seen.
"So what's this?" Ed asks in sarcasm. "I could just step on you and be done with it."
However just as he says that the red one instantly grows and pulls a knife and offers Ed an eerie grin.
"Maybe not," Ed recants as he turns and races for the exit, his very life in danger now; the myriad of frenzied candy soldiers racing after him, chanting in their eerie tone to get him. But just as he reaches the exit door and tries he handle, he finds it won't open – he's stuck.
"Damn it!" Ed curses as he turns to face the oncoming army, too tired to do anything but accept his grim fate at their little hands.
"Get him…get him…"
He was alone and now unarmed and they just kept coming, surrounding him on all sides, making his escape impossible. Would he get out alive or was this really the end of Ed Lane? Taken down by a swarm of green, blue, yellow and red gummy bears? There are no blue gummy bears.
"Ed…"
"Stay away…" he tries as they pounce, landing everywhere on his frame and starting to cover him with a gooey sticky mass, turning him into – a giant gummy bear!
"Ed…"
"Get back.."
"Ed!" Wordy's voice shouts, forcing Ed to waken from his ridiculous dream with a small jump.
"Wha..." Ed's panic-filled blue eyes quickly scan the room to see Jules, Sam, Spike and Wordy all looking at him intently.
"Hey buddy. You dozed off for a few minutes."
"I did…where's Greg?" Ed asks as he rubs his face with his hands.
"Alright we're all here," Greg joins them.
"What happened?" Ed queries with a frown.
"With what? I told you to get them and you did," Greg replies.
"Then we had to get him…and we did," Wordy grins as he sits down by Ed so they could start. "We came in and found you sleeping and then called Greg."
"Okay come on guys let's make this fast so that Eddie can go home and get some real sleep," Greg smiles at his team lead.
A few minutes later Wordy nudges Ed and holds open his hand. "Gummy bear? Looks like you could use the sugar fix to keep awake," he grins.
"No way…I've had my fill of them – for good."
THE END!
A/N: Okay so if you smiled, laughed, ran for gummy bears, agree I am on crack or found the nearest picture of Hugh/Eddie and kissed it then you are in good company lol meanwhile please review to let Alice know I'm not alone in this and I'm gonna get some sleep now! If it sucks please don't flame. If you do the gummy bear army will find you hehe Thanks everyone!
~Disclaimer: no members of the SRU were injured in the making of this piece, however, copious amounts of gummy bears were consumed voraciously~
