Disclaimer: Glee does not belong to me. I only wish. I'm just borrowing all recognisable characters to have some 'innocent' fun. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: This is a prequel to what I have been calling my 'Insanity' universe/series. It basically tells the story of how Rachel and Santana got together.
A/N 2: Not as fluffy as the stories in the series. It's also heavy on the Faberry friendship.
A/N 3: As it's customary with everything I write, this is self-edited. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.
Chapter 1
Santana can't help but stare at Rachel on the bus ride back from Sectionals. She still cannot believe the diva would just believe her, while everyone else was so intent on crucifying Brittany and her for their perceived betrayal of Glee. It has been roughly three hours since she heard them, yet those words are still resonating in her hears. "I believe you." Rachel's look of absolute certainty and the conviction in her voice as she uttered those words forever burned in her mind as well.
Rachel is quietly talking with Quinn. Ever since the paternity of Quinn's baby was revealed, the diva has been doing her best to make amends for her mistake. It's still odd seeing them being civil to each other. Santana can't hear what they are saying to each other, but whatever it is, she can see her former best friend relax a bit. She can see Rachel smile softly, in a way that makes her look like an angel (Wait a minute! Did she just think Rachel Berry looks like an angel? She chalks it up to lack of sleep). She can see relief flood Quinn's face and then Santana wonders if hell has frozen over, because Rachel and Quinn are now hugging, both crying openly and smiling softly at each other through their tears.
It seems that she isn't the only one to notice, because everyone else on the bus is staring at them as if they have grown a few extra heads and limbs. She can see Kurt and Mercedes pinching themselves. Mike and Matt keep rubbing their eyes and slapping themselves and then each other. Artie and Tina stare with their mouths wide open. Puck stares at the two girls, looking devastated. Miss Pillsbury's eyes open impossibly wider, to the point that Santana is afraid they might just roll out of their sockets. JewFro alternates between lovesick, mooning glances aimed at Rachel, and hate-filled glares aimed at Quinn. Brittany looks at them happily before she shifts and lays her head on Santana's shoulders mumbling something about taking a nap. Santana wonders what Finn's reaction would be, if he were here with them, but since he drove to the venue in Mr. Schuester's car, he has to drive back. She remembers he left angry and hurt because Rachel had refused to ride back with him. That in itself has Santana scratching her head in confusion. She was sure Rachel would take any all opportunities to be alone with overgrown toddler.
Santana keeps stealing glances to the row of seats where Rachel and Quinn are still talking quietly. She can see Rachel pull out her phone and talk to someone, while Quinn looks out the window, hands grasping the one Rachel isn't using to hold her phone. Curiosity is killing her, because it is a well known fact that Quinn absolutely loathes Rachel. The rest of the kids stop staring and finally go back to their own conversations, but Santana catches them throw the two girls curious glances every once in a while. Eventually, she hears Rachel singing so softly she can barely pick out the tune and words to 'over the rainbow', and Quinn closing her eyes to finally drift off. Santana feels something she can't quite define. She wonders wistfully if someone will ever serenade her like that. She shakes her head and forces herself to look away. She goes as far as to pull out her iPod to drown out the soft voice of Rachel's singing, telling herself she is tired of hearing the diva's voice. Like the others, she finds she cannot help but throw the two girls surreptitious glances every once in a while, until eventually, she dozes off as well.
Santana is jolted back to the land of the conscious when the bus comes to a stop in McKinley's student parking lot. The first thing she notices, is how Rachel grabs Quinn's hand and helps her to a standing position, before gently guiding her off of the bus. She experiences the same unsettling feeling from earlier, when she heard Rachel singing softly to Quinn. She quickly gets off the bus, with Brittany in tow, just in time to see Rachel put their garment bags in the trunk of a SUV before giving two men big hugs. She overhears Rachel introducing them as her dads to Quinn, and then both girls get in the backseat while the men take the front, and drive away.
"What the hell was that?" Santana asks Puck, since he has been watching them and moping the whole time.
"Finn kicked Quinn out the moment he found out the truth. She moved in at my place, but my mom has been an outright bitch to her, accusing her of ruining not just her own life, but mine as well. Rachel offered her home and Quinn accepted. They're on their way to my place to pick up her things as we speak." Puck said in a sulky tone.
"So when they were hugging in the bus ride back?" Santana started asking, before Puck took over to clarify.
"…was Rachel and Quinn apologising to each other and Rachel asking Quinn to move in with her." Puck confirmed.
"Wow." Santana manages to get out. That strange feeling is back with a vengeance.
"Tell me about it. Who would have ever thought that Quinn Fabray, former Head Cheerio would actually end up living with Rachel Barbara Berry, self proclaimed star and diva of our school." Puck says in disbelief.
"Strangers things have happened." Santana mumbles as she grabs her garment bag and heads to her car, not giving Puck a chance to ask what she meant by that comment.
Santana drives Brittany home and then as she makes her way back to her own home, she can't help but think of Rachel and her softly spoken words to Quinn. She can see and hear Rachel softly singing and once again, wonders if that would ever happen to her in her lifetime. She spends the remainder of the weekend wondering how things are going between Rachel and Quinn. She knows next to nothing about the diva, but she knows just how maintenance Quinn Fabray is, and it surprises Santana how she actually wishes things work out between them. She can't explain this new found obsession with Rachel.
The next few days rush by in a blur as Quinn settles in the Berry household. The first weekend passes without any major incidents. It feels odd living in the house of the girl she has tormented since middle school. Most of Sunday is spent talking and clearing the air. Quinn is surprised at how laid back Rachel is at home when compared to the girl she sees and interacts with in school. Sure, at home Rachel is still fairly high strung by most people's standards, but compared the hummingbird on speed version she normally sees, this girl seems quite sedate by comparison.
When Monday rolls around, there is a collective jaw dropping when the rest of the students see Quinn step out of a SUV with Rachel's assistance. By the time homeroom is over, the entire school knows Quinn has moved in with Rachel. Santana watches the two girls out of the corner of her eyes. Not for the first time since finding out from Puck about Quinn's new living arrangements that Santana wishes to be a fly in the wall in the Berry household. She actually admits that she is shocked beyond belief that they haven't killed each other yet.
Sadly, even with their first win, things haven't improved at all for most members of New Directions. The first thing that happens is a simultaneous slushying of Rachel, Kurt and Mercedes as the latter try to corner the diva on her way out of homeroom in order to get the scoop on the latest round of gossip. When Rachel makes her way to her locker to pick up her change of clothes, Quinn is following the diva with a frown etched on her face. They silently make their way to the closest washroom.
Santana is about to exit one of the stalls when she hears the door open to reveal a slushie covered Rachel. For whatever reasons she can't explain, she slips back into the stall and remains as still and quiet as possible. She has to clamp down on this urge to find the one responsible (probably Karofsky) for this and hang him by his balls from the flagpole. Next thing she knows, Quinn follows in and starts to gently help Rachel wipe off as much excess slushie as possible. She absentmindedly notices that Karofsky used Blue Raspberry today before that strange feeling settles in the pit of her stomach again.
"I'm sorry I don't have the power to stop this from happening now." Quinn says looking ashamed.
"Don't be. I really appreciate your assistance, but you really shouldn't be here Quinn. You'll be late for class. Besides, it's not like I'm not used to cleaning up on my own." Rachel says with a sad smile.
"I can always claim I had another bout of morning sickness. You'll be done faster with some help. Now sit down and let me rinse this crap out of your hair." Quinn says as she guides Rachel to a chair propped by one of the sinks.
Santana is amazed at the gentleness of Quinn's touch as she washes the coloured corn syrup out of Rachel's hair. When that's done, she wraps a towel in Rachel's hair and starts to squeeze the excess water out of the diva's hair.
"I'm sorry I was ever part of that. I didn't realise how unpleasant that is until it actually happened to me." Quinn says so softly that Santana thinks she imagined the whole thing.
"I've already forgiven you, so there's no need to bring that up again. I meant it when I said I'm more than willing to move on and start over." Rachel says with a gentle and warm smile as she takes off her sweater and then she begins to slowly unbutton the now blue-speckled white shirt she's wearing.
Santana literally clamps her hand over her mouth to stop a gasp from nearly escaping at the sight before her. She had no idea that those animal sweaters and all that argyle hid such a perfect body. There certainly is no treasure trail. If anything, the girl is femininity personified. There is no trace of extra fat in that body. Then again, with Rachel's self-professed exercise and dance routine, seeing those defined abs, slim waist, and perky and perfectly proportioned lace-bra encased breasts should come as no surprise to anyone really.
"I still don't understand how you can be so forgiving." Quinn says in the same near whisper.
"Because we all deserve a chance to make amends. You've given me that chance by accepting my apology and my offer to help." Rachel starts to say, only to bring up her hand to silence Quinn when she notices the blonde is about to say something. "No matter what our past history has been like, I didn't have the right to interfere with your relationship with Finn and I certainly didn't have the right to tell him about the paternity of your baby." Rachel says looking thoroughly ashamed.
"It's not the same. I've been cruel to you for years. I deserved it. Besides, your way of making amends benefits me directly." Quinn counters.
"No matter what you think, you never deserved for Finn to treat you the way he did." Rachel says soothingly, completely ignoring Quinn's last statement.
"The sad thing is that if the situation was reversed, I wouldn't have hesitated in exploiting it to my full advantage. God knows I've tortured you enough." Quinn says as she folds the soiled sweater and shirt. Santana can't help but agree with that statement. Neither one of them would hesitate in going in for the kill if it meant getting what they wanted.
"Maybe before you joined Glee, when you didn't know me at all. I've seen glimpses of the girl you hide under your façade. The situations are completely different. What you did before, other than make me feel bad, had no real life altering consequences. What I did? It left you homeless, so I'm really grateful you're giving me a chance to make amends. Now, let's move past this. Clean slate and all that, remember?" Rachel says once she's done wiping the sticky residue off of her chest. She quickly goes through her bag and is dressed in next to no time.
Santana lets out a long exhale once the other two occupants leave the washroom, completely unaware that there was someone else bearing witness to their budding friendship. Santana shakes her head as she replays the words between Quinn and Rachel. Leave it to the diva to completely overlook all the shitty things Quinn has done to humiliate her over the years while she herself seeks absolution for doing something that Quinn would have had no problem doing. Rachel's willingness to believe her seems a little less puzzling now. It appears the tiny diva will always see the best in others. She makes a decision to start making amends as well. Who knows, maybe she can make a new friend and regain her old one in the process. If anything, she'll make Brittany happy with that decision. She walks out of the washroom feeling lighter.
It starts with a nod. Rachel does a double take at that. Surely, she must have imagined the entire thing. When Rachel rushes from second to her locker, she accidentally and quite literally runs into Santana.
"I'm sorry Santana. It really wasn't my intention to run into you in such a careless manner. I hope I didn't cause you any undue physical distress." Rachel says, hoping the fiery Cheerio won't rip her head off for an unfortunate accident.
"No, it's okay Rachel. No harm done. I wasn't watching where I was going either." Santana says in what she hopes is an indifferent tone of voice. In reality, she feels as if her heart is about to beat out of her chest. She has to suppress a smirk when she sees the thoroughly confused look Rachel is now sporting.
"Uh, right. I uh probably should go to class. Have a pleasant day Santana." Rachel finally manages to say once she recovers the ability to string together a sentence. She actually pinches her forearm as she walks hesitantly away to her locker to grab her books. It's not until the warning bell rings that she realises she has been in moving around in a silent stupor.
Santana chuckles once she sees Rachel's reactions to her kind words. Part of her is amused, but another part of her is actually bummed out at the reaction all together. Normally she thoroughly enjoys messing with people's minds and seeing the fear dance in their eyes. Today, when she witnesses it in Rachel, she feels nothing but shame. Maybe it's a good thing she has decided to make things better.
By the end of the day, everyone is positive there is a huge meteor on a collision course with Earth. Why else would Santana López and Quinn Fabray making an effort to be nice to the diva? The end of the world must be near. By the end of two weeks, it becomes somewhat normal seeing Rachel, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany hanging out together. The slushies against Rachel have stopped completely. Finn is positive the others are setting the diva up for something and he does his best to warn her, but things between Rachel and Finn are tense. He still feels betrayed that Rachel of all people had chosen to help Quinn, thus, in his mind, Rachel had taken Quinn's side over his. It makes absolutely no sense to him, since it was Rachel who told him the truth in the first place.
"Come on Rach. Will you just listen to me?" Finn says once he finally manages to get Rachel sort of alone in the library during a free period she doesn't share with the Cheerios.
"What do you want Finn? Can't you see I'm in the middle of completing my homework here?" Rachel asks with a frustrated sigh.
"Whatever they're promising you, it's not true. Santana and Quinn are just following Coach Sylvester's orders to ruin Glee." Finn says for the umpteenth time.
"Give it a rest Finn. They're my friends and I trust them. I know your ego is hurt, but they've been nothing but fantastic to me since our return from Sectionals. If you have nothing productive to say, then kindly leave me alone before Ms. Adamson comes over and tells us to be quiet. Grow up Finn." Rachel says as she puts her earbuds back on and resumes studying.
Finn stares at her shocked and angry, ready to demand her attention when he catches sight of the librarian and leaves feeling even more betrayed.
Things don't stay in that state of semi-bliss for long. Sue dangling the position of Head Cheerio in Santana's face is like dangling a tray full of tater tots fresh out of the deep fryer in front of Mercedes. She agrees to seduce Finn in order to 'break apart' Glee Club. She doesn't think much of it because Rachel really isn't all that interested in the overgrown toddler since her tentative friendship with Quinn. If anything, she notices how strained things are between the two main leads. She figures 'seducing' Finn would result in a happy coach and a few free meals at Breadstix for Brittany and herself, so she goes on as planned. Of course she doesn't take into account that just because things are strained between them, it doesn't mean that Rachel all of a sudden has no feelings towards Finn. So really, it shouldn't have come as such as big surprise that Rachel is hurt when word spreads around that Finn has started 'dating' Santana. Finn's words feel like a slap to the face after they sleep together. They make her feel cheap and used.
"Why didn't you tell me you were still interested in him?" Santana asks dumbly.
"I'm not." Rachel replies.
"Then, why are you upset? I'm only 'dating' him to keep Coach off my back." Santana replies.
"It's not that. I thought we were friends." Rachel says softly.
"We are." Santana automatically replies, slightly hurt that Rachel would question it.
"I'm upset because I had to hear about you, Brittany and Finn from the rumour mill instead of from my friend." Rachel says sadly.
That's when it hits Santana. Sometimes she wonders if being a cheerleader is rotting away her brain. She feels horrible because she knows that if the situation were reversed, she'd be equally hurt. She makes a point to make things better.
When Santana first propositions him, Finn thinks it is the best opportunity to make Rachel jealous so he accepts on the spot. If anything, being seen with Santana López is sure to bring his reputation up a few rungs in the hierarchy. Rachel is hurt, but she never does a thing about it, other than sing 'gives you hell' during their 'hello' song assignment. The situation thoroughly backfires on him because all he has gotten out of it is an empty wallet and two girls who paid more attention to each other than to him. At least he lost his virginity in the process.
Surprisingly enough, the entire Glee club minus Finn and Schuester enjoy that little performance. Within the first verse, the rest of them join Rachel by providing background vocals. After the song, and a bit of grovelling on Santana's part, things start to improve with Rachel again. Santana is surprised by the relief she feels now that they're on speaking terms again. So, when Rachel comes to school a few days later all excited with a scowling Quinn in tow, Santana knows things are about to get dicey again. It turns out that after Schuester's lecture on not taking the assignment seriously, Rachel had gone to the local music store for inspiration and had met Jesse St. James. The diva is now completely infatuated with the boy. Conveniently enough, the boy seems just as infatuated with Rachel. It's like a match made in musical heaven.
When Santana finds out, that odd feeling resurfaces with a vengeance. She chalks it up as a feeling of protectiveness over the diva because she has to agree with the rest. It's too much of a coincidence that the lead of one of their biggest rivals would just fall for their lead. Unlike Quinn and Brittany, she does nothing when the original Gleeks give Rachel an ultimatum. The two blondes flank Rachel protectively and threaten to quit if they don't stop harassing Rachel, Santana sits there, looking at the floor. She feels like a heel at the flash of pain she sees on the diva's face. Once again, she resolves to put her pride aside, and tries to fix things with Rachel. It takes a bit more grovelling, but things are all right again. One of the unexpected bonuses of this unlikely friendship with Rachel is of course her own repaired one with Quinn. Santana is of course, pleasantly surprised at just how wonderful the diva is. Brittany is ecstatic that they're now all hanging out together and getting along as if they've been doing so for ages. The only downside in Santana's mind is the time Rachel spends with Jesse because it means less spent with her (them, she means). Quinn and Brittany notice that Santana seems to be surlier than usual.
Over the next two weeks, right before Thanksgiving, Jesse surprises everyone by transferring to McKinley.
"Why are you letting him in? He's just a spy for Vocal Adrenaline." Finn spits out, voicing what all of them, minus Rachel is thinking.
"Not that I need to explain my actions to you, but I'm getting quite fed up with the 'Tony and María' feel my relationship with Rachel has." Jesse says as he throws a winning smile Rachel's way. Rachel smiles dreamily at the reference. Santana scowls at that reaction.
"Huh? What?" Finn manages to reply.
"Tony and María are the main characters from West Side Story. Our relationship mirrors theirs quite closely." Rachel says with a sigh. Is it really too much to ask for the rest to be better versed when it comes to classic musicals?
"I can't believe I'm actually agreeing with Finn here. Mr. Schue, but he's right. It's bad enough they're dating, but with him here we might as well just give Vocal Adrenaline our set list and a video of everyone of our performances." Mercedes says in a huff.
The rest minus Quinn, Brittany and Santana agree readily. The girls might be suspicious, but their friendship with Rachel is more important and so far, Jesse has been nauseatingly sweet with Rachel.
"I think we should give him a chance. I mean, he went out of his way to transfer here just to make things easier for Rachel." Quinn says before the others can continue.
"Stay out of it Quinn. You're Rachel's friend so you'll be taking her side. Besides, it's not really true he did it for Rachel. You heard what Mr. Schue said. His parents are in Bali so he has no choice but to be where his guardians are." Kurt says jumping in.
"Actually, that's not quite true. I'm eighteen so I don't need a legal guardian. I chose to move in my uncle and aunt because it gives me a chance to be near Rachel. I have no problem giving up another National title just to be with her." Jesse says smugly.
"That's enough. Everyone that has ever auditioned for this Glee Club has gotten in and I'm not about to start changing things now. He joins and that's final." Will say, finally stepping in.
"Great. That just means I'm going to have to fight harder to get a solo." Kurt mumbles under his breath. He stops once he sees the glare Will sends his way.
Every time Santana sees them being all lovey-dovey, she has this urge to rip Jesse's head off and stuff it up his ass, that unexplained and strange feeling in the spit of her stomach churning with a ferocity that surprises her. It's only when Puck starts to 'date' Mercedes out of convenience that she realises the odd feeling that appears every time Rachel waxes poetic about Jesse is nothing but blinding jealousy. She nearly chokes on Sue's special protein and cleansing shake at the realisation.
At first, Santana thinks it's because she subconsciously wants Jesse. The guy is the male version of Rachel and even more conceited and self-absorbed (yes, Rachel is one of her best friends, but the girl is self absorbed), but the dude is easy on the eyes. She decides to do the 'noble' thing, and finds enough distractions so that she won't be tempted to act on those repressed feelings (though repressed isn't strong enough to describe said feelings because her first reaction whenever she sees him is to fight the urge to vomit. She won't even go near the whole wanting to rip his head off). She continues the friends with benefits thing with Brittany and she also resumes her 'whatever' with Puck, but that only lasts for so long. It's not as satisfying as it was before, so soon, to her surprise, she stops those arrangements. Brittany smiles in understanding and shrugs it off. Puck looks at her as if she's the result of some weird mind-altering experiment. He shares as much with her, which just earns him a swift smack upside the head. She can see how happy Rachel is with Jesse, and after all the torture she has put Rachel through, the least she can do is ignore the jealousy. She makes a promise to never come between them, and do all that she can to keep the girl happy. Besides, a happy Rachel means a more relaxed Rachel, which in turn means a more enjoyable Glee practice. It's really a win-win situation for everyone. She ignores the fact that she has to repeat that to herself constantly in order to fight the violent urges against Jesse that seem to simmer just beneath the surface, ready to explode at any moment.
When Rachel's birthday rolls around on the last day of school before their break, they are all shocked to find out that the girl just wants to spend it at home with her fathers and of course, Santana, Quinn, Brittany and Jesse. Her dads surprise the diva with her own very Mini Cooper. Santana can't help but tease Rachel about her very own clown car, and how it's the perfect size for the diminutive diva. She goes as far as to speculate out loud if the diva would be able to see out of the windshield if she drove anything bigger, earning loud guffaws and laughter from the other people present and a mock glare from the diva. Quinn immediately stops at and says something about Rachel being the perfect size for hugs before she pulls the diva into a bone crunching hug. Jesse glares at Quinn, and Santana silently agrees with her, while wishing she were the one holding Rachel like that.
The girls bond even more during their Christmas break. Jesse flies to Bali in order to join his parents. It leaves Rachel a lot of free time to spend with the girls. Santana can't help but feel absolutely charmed at the effort Rachel makes to compensate for Quinn's lack of blood relatives, so that feeling of jealousy still gnawing and churning at the pit of her stomach is a bit unsettling and surprising.
The Berry house is tastefully decorated with a nice blend of Christmas and Hanukkah. What impresses Santana most is how Rachel makes an effort without making matters worse for Quinn. She also realises that at home, Rachel is a lot more relaxed and her sense of fashion is normal for a change. It's the day before Christmas Eve, and they're all hanging out in Rachel's room because it's bigger. They're exchanging presents because Brittany insists that this way, they can all open their gifts from each other first thing Christmas morning.
"May I ask you girls something? I find myself in need of some advice." Rachel says in an unusually insecure voice.
"Of course. You can ask us anything." Quinn replies with an encouraging smile as she takes one of Rachel's hands in hers and laces their fingers together, earning a grateful smile from the diva.
Santana wants to shove Quinn off the bed and be the one holding Rachel's hand instead. The discovery leaves her a bit disconcerted. She distracts herself by shoving popcorn in her mouth.
"How do you know when you're ready for sex?" Rachel whispers, her face flaming red.
Santana nearly chokes on a kernel of popcorn.
"What brought that up?" Quinn asks with a frown. She knows Rachel wants to wait.
"Jesse has been pressuring me and saying sex is no big deal when I tell him I'm not ready. He has backed off for now, but I know it's only a matter of time before he asks again. Is there a way to tell a guy no and still have him be ok?" Rachel says looking down at her comforter.
"Well, you can always just say yes and avoid that problem. Sex is nice, besides, what's the worse that can happen?" Brittany says. "No offence Quinn." She adds once she remembers Quinn's pregnancy.
Santana's first urge is to fly to Bali and beat the ever living shit out of him. It's then that she has an epiphany and all the missing pieces to a very frustrating puzzle fall into place. She doesn't have repressed feelings for St. Jerkwad. She has feelings for Rachel. She nearly hyperventilates at the discovery. Santana's second urge is to tell Rachel that no, she shouldn't have sex with anyone unless it's with her. She groans out loud before falling face first on Rachel's bed. It certainly explains her hostilities towards anyone who goes near Rachel.
"You ok there San?" Brittany asks.
"Uh yeah, sorry. I think you should tell him to fuck off, to keep it in his pants and to stop being so damn pathetic. He keeps that up and I'll be more than happy to castrate him with a toothpick while you hit him over the head with a dictionary opened with the entry for the word 'NO'. You're a self sufficient woman, Rach. Don't let that asshole make you do something you don't want." Santana says in a tone of voice she hasn't used with Rachel since they became friends. It surprises everyone in the room. The two blondes glare at Santana when they notice Rachel squirm uncomfortably.
Rachel blinks a few times at Santana's words and attitude. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to anger you with my questions." Rachel replies. Santana feels like she just kicked a puppy once she takes in the flash of pain on Rachel's face and her tone of voice. She hasn't heard Rachel speak so softly in quite some time. She wants to kick herself for being the cause of it.
"I think what Santana is trying to say in her emotionally stunted way is that it's your decision to make. He's not worth it if he can't respect your right to say no. For us, being girls, sex for the first time is a big step. As you can see, there are some very serious consequences to go along with the emotional ones. If you question yourself, then you shouldn't go through with it. Don't make the same mistake I did, Rach. Your first time should mean something more than to make yourself feel pretty or to keep a guy interested. You're more than that." Quinn says before Santana can say anything else that might upset the diva further. She makes a mental note to talk to Santana privately and ask her what the hell that was for.
Santana breathes out a sigh that is a mixture of relief and frustration. Leave it to Quinn to say what she wants to without upsetting Rachel. She really needs to watch her reactions and her words. She keeps forgetting that even though Rachel presents a very self-assured façade to the school when she's picked on, in reality, the girl is quite vulnerable and her feelings are very easily hurt. If she could, she would kick her ass for being so insensitive again. When she sees Rachel bring their laced hands to put a kiss on Quinn's fingers, her jealousy flares white hot again.
"Sorry Rach. I'm just not really used to this touchy feely sh… stuff." Santana apologises, earning her three surprised looks. It's a well known fact that Santana López would rather French kiss a great white shark than say she's sorry. So far, since they started this friendship, she has apologised to Rachel three times in the span of a month and a half.
"It's ok Santana. I know you're just looking out for me." Rachel says gently as she reaches over and takes Santana's hand with her free hand.
Both girls do a double take once their hands make contact because there is this involuntary shiver that travels up and down their entire body. Quinn notices this and smiles as if the secrets of the universe just revealed themselves to her.
The remainder of their break is spent hanging out with family and each other. Santana's mood seems to improve because she gets to spend it with her friends without guys getting in the way. The only downside is the fact that once that realisation hits her, she can't help but be aware of everything that is Rachel Berry. They decide to bypass Puck's New Year's bash in favour of spending it at Rachel's place. Quinn isn't in the mood to deal with Puck and his constant pressure to keep the baby, and Rachel? Well, the diva would drug and shave Schuester's head if it meant it would make things easier for Quinn. Santana tags along because she feels this surge of jealousy whenever Rachel goes out of her way to be nice to Quinn. Brittany is just happy with whatever.
When Jesse returns from Bali, he convinces Rachel that it's ok to search for her birth mother. A tape surfaces mysteriously as Rachel goes through her baby things. Santana has to fight to keep her disappointment from showing when Rachel shoves the tape aside and quietly asks Quinn if she'll be there for her when she listens to it if and when she feels ready for it. There is no request for Santana, Brittany, or Jesse to be there. Jesse scowls at that and performs a storm out that rivals Rachel's. It's scary how similar those two really are. Brittany puts an understanding hand on Santana's shoulder when she notices the Latina trying to hide her hurt feelings at the exclusion.
Ever since the discovery of that tape, things between Rachel and Jesse seem to be deteriorating. The opposite happens between Quinn and Rachel. The two girls are now inseparable. Rachel makes it a point to meet Quinn outside of her classrooms, takes her books, and escorts the blonde to the next class whenever possible. Jesse goes as far as to imply that there is something more going on between the girls, giving more credence to the already abundant rumours that are floating around. Santana and most of the Gleeks (the non-gossiping ones) silently agree. The relationship between Quinn and Santana deteriorates as a result. Brittany just shrugs her shoulders when she's asked for details about the former Head Cheerio and the diva. Rachel and Quinn deny anything more than friendship and ignore the gossip around them.
Fate it seems, has a sick sense of humour because Jesse, Santana and the rest of New Directions walk in the music room just as Rachel is holding a crying Quinn in her arms and talking sweetly to her. It's obvious to anyone with eyes that the girls share a very deep level of intimacy.
"Listen to me, Quinn. You are beautiful, inside and out. You're not a disappointment, and you're certainly not selfish. If you decide to give your baby up for adoption, it will be because you have her best interests at heart. Your decision will be one made out of love. Don't ever doubt that. Your pregnancy makes you glow in a way that makes you even more stunning than usual. I'm sorry the idiot that calls himself your father said those things to you before I could stop him." Rachel says as she wipes Quinn's tear streaked cheeks with a gentleness they have never seen. When she's sure Quinn isn't crying anymore, she leaves one of her hands on her cheek, so she's cupping the blonde's face.
Everyone's jaws drop open at the sight. Just when they think nothing else will surprise them, they see Quinn lean in to Rachel's touch and grab the diva's free hand in hers. She then turns her face slightly and places a soft kiss on Rachel's palm. Rachel laces their fingers together and brings their joined hands to her mouth before she places a soft kiss on Quinn's knuckles. Santana's jealousy flares up in ways she has never experienced whenever Rachel is with Jesse.
"Thanks Rachie. You always know just what to say to make me feel better." Quinn whispers.
"It's the truth." Rachel replies just as soft, but before she can continue, Jesse explodes.
"How can you keep denying that you're cheating on me with her? Any moron with eyes and half a brain could see you care for her more than you care for me." Jesse screams.
Rachel and Quinn jump at the intrusion, completely unaware they've been watched. Rachel drops her hand from Quinn's face. They turn to face the others while separating slightly, but their hands remain laced. "Are you ok?" Rachel asks Quinn because she's sure being startled like that can't be good for the baby.
"Yes I am." Quinn replies softly, blushing crimson, but still refusing to let go of Rachel's hand. It's not her fault every one has such a dirty, one-tracked mind.
Rachel's actions make Jesse angrier because Rachel's first concern again, is Quinn's wellbeing. The others truly wonder how Rachel and Quinn keep denying that they're together like that.
"I would appreciate it if you were to stop screaming and scaring us out of our minds. This kind of shock can't be good for a pregnant woman." Rachel says evenly. "I'm also getting tired of repeating this, but I am not, nor will I ever cheat on you with Quinn or anyone else. This pointless and baseless accusation is getting quite tiresome." Rachel adds with a glare of her own.
"Stop treating me like an idiot. I have eyes. My suspicions of your infidelity are not pointless and baseless. What do you call whatever it is the two of you were doing before we interrupted you?" Jesse fires back, his voice still loud but not yelling anymore.
"This…" Rachel starts to say as she sweeps her free hand between Quinn and herself. "…is me giving my best friend some much needed support and kind words in order to make her feel better after a trying moment." She says in a tone of voice one would used to explain something to a toddler. "Thank you for lowering your voice. It was quite jarring to my ears, and I have yet to lose any of my hearing. Who knows what that constant assault would have done to my perfect pitch?" Rachel adds as an afterthought.
The others roll their eyes at the last comment. Santana can't help but find it absolutely adorable.
"You expect me to believe that? I don't see you being so touchy feely with anyone else. And I didn't do it for your benefit. Yelling puts undue stress on my vocal chords." Jesse fires back.
"Actually, she hugs me a lot. But we're not having sex either. The others aren't her friends, so Rachel won't hug them." Brittany says with a cheerful smile.
"And yet, you don't accuse her of having an affair with Brittany as well." Quinn says as she tries to fight back a set giggles. She still refuses to let go of Rachel's hand. If anything, she just holds on tighter. She's not about to give up her best friend's support just because her boyfriend is a control freak and a jealous drama queen that makes Rachel seem laid back.
"It's not the same. Rachel doesn't drop everything and anything the way she does with you." Jesse fires back.
Santana agrees silently with that statement. Rachel has gone above and beyond for the pregnant teen (short of proposing marriage, Santana's mind supplies). Because really, as physically affectionate as the diva is with Brittany, it lacks the intimacy she shares with Quinn. Why can't Rachel be like that with her? 'Because you go out of your way to appear cold and distant whenever she tries to. Because you know that you'll ravish her if she were to cup your face with the same tenderness she does with Quinn.' Her mind supplies, which only serves to fuel her jealousy even more.
"Stop it Jesse. This is not the time, nor the location for this conversation. Not to mention that you're behaving like an overgrown child. Had I wanted to date one, I would have accepted one of Finn's countless advances. I'm quite insulted that you still don't trust my word. How many times do I need to tell you that Quinn and I are good friends? Our feelings for one another are platonic by nature and will always remain so. She's like a sister to me." Rachel says as she lets out a frustrated sigh. She does not need to be having this conversation again, and in front of the entire Glee Club to boot.
"You really must think I'm as dumb as Brittany if you think I'm going to buy that excuse again. I know what I walked into. You're friends with her and Santana as well, yet I've never seen you baby them the way you do with Quinn." Jesse spits out.
In a flash, Rachel lets go of Quinn's hand and is in Jesse's face. She slaps him before Santana can make her way to him. Everyone's jaws drop even further, because this is so unlike Rachel. Luckily, Mike, Matt, and Puck manage to restrain Santana long enough for Brittany to make her way and put a soothing hand on Santana's shoulder. It takes a superhuman effort, but Santana nods and everyone relaxes slightly. For now, she'll wait and see if the idiot will continue to insult Brittany. He even thinks of calling Rachel names and God help him because she will really rip his head off and shove it up his ass.
"Your issues, irrational as they might be, are with me and me alone. Leave my friends out of them. You insult any one of my friends like that again, and I'll make Santana seem like a kitten." Rachel says in a tight voice. They can see that the tiny diva's body is coiled tight like a viper ready to strike. Santana is surprised at the anger pouring out of the diva's body because she never would have guessed Rachel would ever react this way before.
Quinn immediately gets up and grabs Rachel's right fist. "Don't Rachie. He's not worth it." Quinn says softly into Rachel's ear as she slowly uncurls the diva's hand and laces their fingers once again. The rest of them stare slack-jawed when the see Rachel relax slightly.
Santana fights the urge to push Quinn aside. More than anything wishes to be the one to be able to calm the diva in such a manner. When she sees their interaction, it's very hard to not think that they've been lying to her and Brittany. The only reason she doesn't outright believe the rumours is because Rachel has never lied to her. If anything, the girl is honest to a fault.
Jesse stares at Rachel shocked as he lifts his hand to cradle his now sore left cheek. He had no idea the girl could hit so hard. He can't help but stare at the two girls holding hands again. "You know what? You like her so much; you can stay with her. We're through." He says as she storms out yet again.
Everyone stares, waiting for the Rachel to run after him. They're all shocked when all she does is whisper something to Quinn and both girls turn to grab their things and leave the choir room.
"We're heading home. I'll see you girls tomorrow, ok?" Rachel stops to say to Santana and Brittany. "I'm sorry Jesse was mean to you. You're not stupid, Britt. Don't ever believe him or anyone." Rachel adds as she runs the back of her fingers from her free hand on Brittany's face, which is soon followed by a peck on her cheek. The taller blonde smiles and nods her head in gratitude.
They leave before anyone can say anything. They wonder how they never noticed how physically affectionate Rachel is with Brittany as well before all of this.
"Shouldn't we follow?" Brittany asks Santana softly.
"Yeah. Rachel probably needs us, and practice would suck without our best singer anyway." Santana says as she links pinkies with Brittany and they follow the other two girls.
They're not surprised that by the time they reach Santana's car, Rachel's is no longer in the parking lot. They drive silently to Rachel's place. Brittany wonders if Santana will now make a move on the diva now that she's no longer with the Jesse. Santana wonders if it now means that Rachel and Quinn will be announcing a change in their relationship. The thought alone has her griping the steering wheel so hard her knuckles are white.
"Rachel only does relationships, so unless you're ready for that, just keep being her friend. She and Quinn are friends. They're not going to date now that she's free, and they're not having sex like we used to. They're very close because they live in the same house." Brittany says seriously.
Santana is about to deny what Brittany is implying and play dumb, but she knows that if there is one person who is perceptive about human behaviour and feelings is the blonde sitting beside her. Santana just nods her head, not trusting herself to speak just yet.
"Come on San. Our friend needs us for moral support." Brittany says once they're parked.
"It could just be because Rachel doesn't like girls that way." Santana mumbles.
"No, silly. She just sees Quinn like a sister." Brittany says in a tone of voice that most people use with her when they're trying to explain a math problem.
Santana gives Brittany a sad smile before she squares her shoulders and opens her car door. She can do this. She can be a good friend to Rachel. In no time, they ring the doorbell and wait for someone to open the door.
"Hey girls. Go on up. They're in Rachel's room." Michael says with a smile. He knows his little girl just broke up with Jesse and even though he's ecstatic about it because the boy always rubbed him the wrong way, he still feels bad for his baby girl.
"Thanks Mr. B." Santana says seriously.
"It's Michael. The whole mister bit makes me feel older than I am and it gets confusing when Dan is home." Michael replies with a kind smile.
Santana and Brittany make their way up the stairs to Rachel's room. They knock lightly, waiting for one of the girls to open the door. Santana still blushes at the memory of walking into a nude Rachel rubbing lotion in her body after knocking on the door and not waiting for an answer. She hadn't realised the room is soundproof and just assumed Rachel was listening to music through her headphones like she's known to do when she's in school. Needless to say that the sight of Rachel's perfect body is forever burnt in her retinas. She is also not surprised to see Rachel is the one who gets up to open the door. Ever since the pregnancy was revealed, Rachel treats Quinn as if she's made of crystal.
"Hey. Shouldn't you be at practice?" Rachel says with a smile. She knew that it was only a matter of time before Santana and Brittany showed up at her place.
"Sure, but our captain and best singer bailed on us. I think she's feeling a bit down, so I decided checking up on her wellbeing is more important than some silly practice." Santana answers as she nudges the diva's shoulder with her own on her way in.
"Ditto." Brittany says smiling. "Are you ok, Rachie?" Brittany asks as they settle on her bed.
"Yeah. I mean, I'm sad we broke up because I kind of really like him, but I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. So in the end, this will be the best course of action." Rachel says with a shrug of her shoulders. "To be honest, I'm more upset that he broke up with me the way he did, you know, in front of everyone else. Not to mention how paranoid he's been, thinking that Quinn and I were together together." Rachel says with a slight grimace. "No offence, Quinnie." Rachel adds as she gives the pregnant blonde a sweet smile.
"None taken." Quinn says as she shudders at the mental image of being with Rachel like that.
How in God's green Earth can anyone think they're involved romantically is something neither girl will ever understand. Both girls share a look and a shudder as the thought crosses their minds again.
Watching their reactions, Santana thinks that maybe, just maybe those are just rumours because the sheep have nothing better to do. She thinks about Brittany's words and there's a sliver of hope. She pushes all thoughts aside and instead, she decides to concentrate on being a good friend to Rachel. Brittany's right again. Right now, the diva needs her friends, even if she's not necessarily drowning in sorrow over her sudden 'single' status.
It comes as no surprised that Jesse makes the announcement he's done wasting his time with a bunch of losers and transfers back to Carmel and Vocal Adrenaline. He is however surprised beyond words that Rachel doesn't make an effort to stop him or ask him to reconsider his decision. Looking at the girl, one would never guess she was just dumped the day before. He leaves with a bruised ego and some major resentment. The others are about to lose it on Rachel because their main competition knows what their set list will be. They reconsider when she the murderous glares on Santana's, Brittany's, and Quinn's faces.
Over the next few days, words spreads out that Jesse dumped Rachel because he caught the diva making out with the pregnant girl in the choir room. Because the girls in said gossip don't even bother to deny the allegations, the rumours get worse.
Finn in the mean time tries his best to gain favour with Rachel. He is sure that with Jesse out of the picture it's only a matter of time before Rachel falls for his charm. Rachel, still angry with him, lets him know in no uncertain terms she's not interested in him. He looks around embarrassed that the diva told him off in front of everyone. His embarrassment turns to anger when he sees those present snickering in his face.
"So it's true then? You're gay now?" Finn asks Rachel as he enters the music room. He has this need to hurt her in some way so she can feel as crappy as he is since she started this thing with Quinn.
"Excuse me? How is that any of your business?" Rachel replies with her own question as she looks up from her sheet music, shooting him a glare.
"You're not even denying it? Are you and Quinn one happy lesbian couple now?" Finn asks with his voice gaining volume.
"Will you keep your voice down? I'm getting sick and tired of everyone trying to bust my ear drums." Rachel says, her gaze not softening one bit. "Why are you even here?" She asks. She has made it very clear she is not interested in him and that she is still angry at the way he has been treating Quinn. She understand being angry and hurt, but in her opinion, it doesn't give anyone the right to be cruel. He didn't even make sure she had a place to go before she kicked her out of his house. He never cared.
"I'm concerned. Is that why Jesse dump you? Because he was tired of being cheated on?" Finn asks in a quieter voice, but still not willing to let things go.
"You're just concerned about your reputation. Everyone thinks you're gay because you're in Glee. I've heard the rumours too. I know other jocks are mocking you and saying that you're gay and Quinn was your beard. I know it hurts your precious reputation that the loser from Glee continues to reject you and seems to have gone gay for your ex-girlfriend. I'm not deaf nor am I stupid. I just don't care about the rumours." Rachel fires back, tired of games and wondering why others seem to be obsessed with her life.
"What the hell am I supposed to think? You start the year doing everything to get me, then all of a sudden everything is about Quinn." Finn says in frustration.
"I don't like to keep repeating myself, so pay attention this time. My issues with you have nothing to do with my sexuality, but everything with how insensitive you've been to Quinn." Rachel says slowly, enunciating each word. When she's done, she pinches the bridge of her nose in a vain attempt to stem the headache already forming.
"That's bullshit. If it's not true then why aren't you denying what everyone is saying about you two?" Finn asks just as he looks up to see the glare that Rachel is giving him. He visible cringes.
"What's the point? I could deny it until I'm blue in the face, but if the imbeciles that roam our school have made up their minds there is nothing I can do to change that. It'll be like talking to a rock. I don't have the energy or the time to deal with that." Rachel answers with a resigned sigh before she picks up her sheet music and leaves. So much for a quiet and productive free period.
The rest of the day goes downhill from there. Rachel's mood keeps deteriorating. That mixed with Quinn's mood swings makes for some very unpleasant times at McKinley. They're not used to the diva snapping everyone's head off. Interestingly enough, Rachel's bad mood seems to be affecting those in her immediate vicinity. It results in a very moody Quinn and a definitely angry Santana. The strangest sight and almost as scary at the previous two, is an upset and cranky Brittany. The girl is known to be a walking ray of sun. That day, any student who has direct contact with the girls leaves in tears or fearing for his or her life.
TBC...