I've Missed You
"Thank God! I'm free." Rebecca Kennedy M.D. didn't even bother changing out of her two day old scrubs before rushing out of the hospital. All she wanted now was a hot shower and a drink. It was times like these that made her wonder why she had not gone into general practice. But no, she had to be a big shot doctor that killed her-self in the emergency room; day in and day out.
Kennedy, as she preferred to be called, hailed a cab and was on her way home in seconds. Half way there her phone went off. If it was the hospital she was going to pretend like her phone suddenly got dropped off the top of the Empire State Building. No dropping necessary though. It was just a text from her totally awesome and totally crazy neighbor.
MP: If you will be home at some point in this lifetime – I'll be up on the roof in one hour.
Kennedy laughed. Her neighbor certainly had a way with words. The first time she told someone that she lived next door to none other than Miranda Freakin' Priestly, they called her a liar. That was the first and last time she ever told anyone who she lived next to.
Kennedy: I'm on my way. C U in 1.
Fifteen minutes later she walked into her house and straight into her mother's arms. This was the best thing about coming home. Her mother had been living with her for a while now and Kennedy loved every minute of it.
"Hey, momma."
"Hi, baby. Lord, you stink. Don't they allow you to shower in that place?"
"Yeah, but I prefer sleep over showers."
Her mother Karen swatted her backside and shooed her toward the stairs. "Go shower. I'll make you a sandwich. I assume you'll be headed to the roof for a drink?"
"You betcha. We have like two weeks of bitching to catch up on."
"She just got back from Milan. The girls told me she was in an awful mood when she came home."
"Momma, when is Miranda not in an awful mood?"
"I just thought you should know considering what you told me earlier today. Do you think this is a good idea?"
"No, I think it's a great idea." Kennedy bounded up the stairs two at a time.
Shower: check. Clean clothes: check. Food: check. Okay, she was ready. As always, Miranda was already there, sitting on her own roof staring up at the sky. Kennedy could instantly tell she was drained.
"Yo! I'm here, I made it!" Kennedy walked across the roof carefully. Miranda came over and took the sandwiches and offered her a hand as Kennedy carefully stepped over the two foot ledge to Miranda's side.
"Yes you made it. Finally."
"Ah don't give me that raised eyebrow crap. Some of us have to work for a living you know. We can't all sit in an office all day, looking at clothes that most people will never be able to afford in this lifetime or the next." She loved giving Miranda hell about her job. It was like poking an ant hill with a stick.
The two women sat down and Miranda poured wine and gave Kennedy her sandwich. "I'll forget that remark you just made and give you this wine instead."
"Thanks for the wine. I needed it. So…how was your trip?"
Miranda stretched out her legs and propped them up on another chair. "Do you really want to know?"
"I wouldn't have asked otherwise. Mom said you were in a bad mood when you came home?"
"Is your mother clairvoyant or did she hear that from my girls?"
"Both, but you know they can't keep their mouths shut."
"No they can't. Remember when Stephen left? Your mother knew about that before I did and I was his wife."
Yeah she remembered. That had been one hell of a mess and thank God she hadn't been home when he packed his shit. It was one happy day for Kennedy. She hated Stephen. "Yes, Miranda. I remember and I don't want to talk about Stephen. He still pisses me off."
Miranda scoffed. "You hated him more than I did." She leaned back in her chair and looked back up at the sky while Kennedy ate.
"Yeah…you're probably right. That guy was a sleaze ball and a drunk. Next topic, please. How was Milan?"
"Horrible. I was surrounded by incompetent people trying to impress me-how do you think it went?"
"Hm…that good huh?"
"Stop talking with your mouth full. How was the hospital? You like you've been run over twice."
"Horrible. Incompetent people and all that…" she looked over just in time to see Miranda roll her eyes. At least she got that much out of her. They had been meeting up here for nearly two years and surprisingly enough the conversations usually came easy between them, but not tonight. Then again Miranda was always this way when she came back from a trip.
"Doctor Kennedy, why are we out here if neither of us can think of anything to say besides 'horrible'?"
Kennedy threw her napkin at Miranda's head "Stop calling me 'doctor' and you know why we're out here—"
"We're out here because neither of us has anything better to do."
"Speak for yourself. Personally I need this. I need to come up here and see the real world for a change after I get out of that hospital and I suspect you need the same thing."
"Alright, alright, there is no need for dramatics. I agree. Happy?"
"Yes. Pour me some more wine."
Miranda shook her head and grabbed the wine bottle "Yes, doctor."
Kennedy watched her pour the wine and wondered why Miranda really did keep meeting her on the roof like this. Miranda was the -Fashion Icon Extraordinaire-what could she possibly be getting out of this? Or wanting out of this? Mostly likely it came down to the novelty of it all. Kennedy got to sit out here and drink someone else's good wine and listen to someone else's problems – or nothing at all. While Miranda got to sit out here and eat someone else's ham sandwiches and listen to someone else's problems – or nothing at all. It was a fair trade.
"What is it Miranda? What's going on? I can see your wheels turning."
"I have a dress for your mother…a 'thank-you' of sorts, for watching the girls while I was gone."
"I'm sure she'll love it. She likes having them over. It makes her feel needed."
"They like being with her as well. She is...for all intents and purposes…their grandmother."
Bullshit, there was more to it than that. Something wasn't right and Kennedy didn't care if took a crow bar to pry Miranda's mouth open, she was determined to get it out of her.
"So…care to really tell me what the hell is wrong with you or are you going to make me perform emergency surgery on your mouth? Because I know damn good and well that a dress for my mother is not what has your mind all twisted up." Hopefully that thing about 'third time's a charm' was true.
Now that she's said it – she was way too chicken to look at Miranda. If Miranda decided to throw her off the roof she wouldn't be surprised. Kennedy watched her out of the corner of her eye, trying to read her movements for some sort of sign. She got nothing. Miranda sat ram-rod straight in her chair holding her glass of wine steady in her lap with both hands.
"My mind is not all 'twisted up', thank you. How else can I convey to you that it was merely a week from the depths of hell. I have no good help now that Nigel has run off to Runway-France. Emily is a disaster as you well know. Irv is still a complete waste of brain cells. Stephens' lawyer called me twice while I was away because he feels he deserves more out of a divorce that has already been finalized, and frankly I feel like I haven't slept in almost a year. All of that equals out to: horrible."
"Well, why didn't you say that in the first place?" Kennedy hid her laugh behind her glass of wine and Miranda couldn't help but join in.
"I hate you doctor. Truly I do."
"No you don't. You just hate the fact that I make you talk to me. I still say there's more to it. Every time you come back from a trip you're different, but I'll let it go."
"You might be right but letting it go will be your saving grace tonight."
"It's not good for you to hold everything in…eat your sandwich before I do."
"Alright. You know I was thinking that if Donatella saw me eating a ham sandwich on a rooftop she would most likely have a heart attack."
"Naw, she'd just ask you for a bite. Hey, now that you have learned how to talk again -care to hear about my day?"
Miranda waved her hand to signal a 'yes' and poured them some more wine.
"I'm being interviewed for an article," Kennedy noted Miranda's sudden stiffness at the word 'interviewed', "It'll be sort of like a day-in-the-life thing for The Mirror. Apparently I'm special." Even in the dark Kennedy could see the blood drain from Miranda's face. Bingo.
Miranda cleared her throat and took a surprisingly large drink of wine. "Special indeed and just who is writing this 'day –in-the-life' article?"
Kennedy sat back and got ready to watch the show. She knew as soon as she said the name Miranda was likely to have kittens right there on the roof. "Andy Saches."
Miranda let out a long slow breath then stood up.
"Oh, no you don't. Sit down Miranda. You're not walking out on this conversation tonight. Sit down."
Miranda turned back and glared at Kennedy with wide eyes. Kennedy knew she needed to tread carefully. This woman was not accustomed to being told what to do but it would be worth it in the end. She just had to make Miranda sit down long enough to realize it. Miranda finally sat back down and Kennedy made a mental note to buy some lottery tickets very, very soon.
"I do not want to talk about that Kennedy."
"I know you don't, but you will."
"No. Actually I will not. I will not discuss her. There is nothing to discuss."
"Miranda, why are you so stubborn? Do you remember the first time you told me about Andy? I caught you up here half drunk and crying. Miranda Priestly might get drunk sometimes but she certainly doesn't sit under the stars and cry over some girl that supposedly means nothing to her!"
"I was not crying over some girl," Miranda waved her hand dismissively thru the air.
"Excuse me, has anyone ever told you that you suck at lying? I don't care how much wine you had to drink that night –you were crying. You sat right here and told me all about how she left you in Paris, and how all you wanted to do was go after her and make her stay—And. You. Cried. It might not have been some grandiose, wailing type of thing, but you were crying all the same." Kennedy took a deep breath when Miranda looked up at her. There was pure unadulterated fury in her eyes.
Miranda threw up her hands in disgust, "And what of it? She left. She quit. What of it? I was probably delirious that night from lack of sleep or something."
"Like hell. Miranda…you didn't talk about her like she was an employee. That night you talked about her like she was your first love or something for Christ's sake. Nearly every time we have more than a bottle and half of wine – you talk about her in the same way." Miranda started to speak but Kennedy cut her off. "Please, Miranda, just hear me out and if you want to throw me off the roof afterwards then I'll let you ok?"
Miranda rolled her eyes and nodded in the affirmative then looked up at the sky, intent on not making eye contact with Kennedy, which was fine if that was what it took to get this over with.
"Ok, let's start off small – do you miss Andy?"
Miranda tilted her head down and glared at Kennedy for a brief moment then lifted her head back up to the sky, "Her name is Andrea, and yes, I miss her. There is little need to state what is already apparently quite obvious."
"Ok. Andrea then. Miranda if you miss her, why haven't you tried to contact her? She's literally right down the street from your office. You probably pass right by it several times a day."
"She would not see me if I did. You know how things were. You know what I did…If you want to do this you best pour some more wine. I can't even believe I'm talking to you about this."
Kennedy did was she was told and poured more wine. "Miranda I think she would see you in spite of everything in the past."
"And when did you become so smart?"
"In fifth grade science class."
"I'm shocked an amazed. Kennedy this whole conversation is pointless."
"Whatever. Drink this and tell me…are you like, I don't know, weirded out by your obvious feelings?"
"I have no feelings on the matter."
Kennedy slapped Miranda on the arm. This was turning out to be harder than the last triple by-pass she got talked into assisting on. "You're so full of bullshit you can't even see what's right in front of you. Now tell me-are you weirded out?"
"A little."
"You shouldn't be. What are you afraid of? You're Miranda Fucking Priestly. Who can touch you? As for the 'gay' thing-so what! Who gives a shit about that? "
"Hm…alright I'll concede the high-ground on that point."
"Yay, a miracle. Now, if she were to call you tomorrow and ask you out to lunch, what would you say?"
Miranda let out a deep breath, "I'd say yes."
Kennedy smiled and leaned back in her chair "Well there ya go! Call her tomorrow and ask her to lunch. I know she'll say yes. She told me so." Opps.
"She said what?" Miranda gripped the arm rests of her chair and leaned forward. "She said what?"
Kennedy's grin got bigger as she stretched and crossed her arms behind her head. What the hell, might as well jump in with both feet here. "After we did the first interview today, I might have let it slip that I live next door to you. As soon as I said it her face lit up. I'm not even joking. It lit up like a sign on Broadway."
"You didn't say anything else did you? Please tell me you didn't because if you did…"
"Calm down Miranda. I didn't say anything. I swear. But you need to call her." Miranda was still gripping the chair, probably contemplating how best to Kill her but that was beside the point. "Miranda did you hear me? You need to call her."
"How exactly is it that you know she would say yes? Was there some proverbial magic eight ball nearby? Why would she want to see me or speak to me after all this time?"
Kennedy rolled her eyes and sighed in frustration. "No, Goddamn it there was no 'proverbial magic eight ball', the truth is that she told me she wanted to see you but that she was too afraid. She's afraid you would not want to see her. You have no idea how hard it was for me not to tell her otherwise, Miranda. This whole thing is totally ridiculous. The both of you want to see each other but you're both too afraid. It's like I'm back in junior high or something."
"Well I'm certainly thankful you were able to keep your mouth shut. That would have been a disaster."
"Which part? The part where you ask her to have meal with you and she says yes, or the part where you tell her you are in love with her and she jumps on top of you?" Kennedy hid behind her hands again as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Yes, death was approaching. Quickly.
"I do believe you're drunk Doctor."
"Not so drunk to notice that you didn't refute either of the statements I just made."
Miranda nodded and poured the last of the wine into their glasses. "I'm too old for her."
"Oh shut up. That's your best argument for a lunch date?"
"Kennedy…"
"I know. Miranda, I know. I've been hearing about this for months when I can get you drunk enough. I know it would be more than just a simple lunch for you…but I think it would be more for her too. Call her. You deserve it. You've come too far in life to finish it out unhappy and alone."
While Miranda sat there staring into her wine glass looking for answers, Kennedy quietly took Miranda's cell phone off the little table between them and programmed Andy's number into it. She had made a point in memorizing it before she came up to the roof.
"What if I call her and she says no—in spite of what you think?"
"Then at least you'll know…and as they say 'there's no time like the present'. Take it –it's ringing." Kennedy threw Miranda's phone to her and quickly crossed back over to her own roof. "When she answers—tell her you missed her." She would never forget the look on Miranda's face for as long as she lived.
Miranda clutched the phone and stared at the display, listening to the faint ringing sound. For a second she wasn't even sure what she was looking at. What is a phone? What is that noise? Then all of that confusion was replaced by a voice she had not heard in so long.
"Hello?"
Miranda didn't even know what to say. Wasn't there supposed to be this thing called 'air'? If so—where was it? Her lungs felt empty. She took a deep breath hoping that some oxygen made it to the appropriate place.
"Hello, Andrea…"
"Miranda? Miranda is that you? How did you get my number?"
Well she didn't sound mad, that was a good sign right? She hadn't hung up yet…another good sign. "Yes. I…well you see my neighbor is someone you know. A Doctor Kennedy…whom probably won't live to see morning but nevertheless –she is my neighbor."
"I know her. I'm doing an article…but you already know that don't you?"
"Yes, she was kind enough to tell me about that this evening. I…she…gave me your number."
"Oh. Okay. Well is there something I can do for you?"
Miranda couldn't help but laugh. It was so like her Andrea to only ever want to know if there was something she needed. Even after everything that had happened, after how things had ended in Paris, Andrea was still willing to see to the demands of Miranda Priestly. It was high time that table was turned.
"No, Andrea. There is nothing that I need."
"Are you alright Miranda? You sound odd?"
"Oh, yes I'm fine…more than fine actually. The wonderful Doctor Kennedy just caught me a little off guard, and we both know how I hate that. Andrea, will you have lunch with me tomorrow?" Miranda sucked in a much needed breath since she had felt the need to use only one in the last three sentences.
"Yes."
"Yes?"
"Yes. I will have lunch with you."
"Well…alright. Are you sure?"
"Miranda, yes I'm sure. I will have lunch with you. Are you sure you're alright?"
"Yes, I'm perfectly well. I will call you in the morning to discuss a place and time?"
"Ok. That sounds good. See you tomorrow Miranda."
"Goodnight Andrea…oh…Andrea?"
"Yes, Miranda?"
"I've missed you." Miranda ended the call without waiting for a reply. In the morning she would call Andrea and if she was lucky enough, her life would finally begin again.