Title: Twisted Bits of Copper Wire [1/?]
Rating: PG-13
Keywords: Original Takatori, Omi, Schwarz, voyeurism, insane humor
Spoilers: A bit of Omi's past
Warning: There will be a bit of yaoi letter on and possibly a lemon by Sapphy-sama, but that's what most readers are looking for now, isn't it!
Special thanks to SP, for whom this story is written, and my ego-stroker and italics maker Sapphy-sama!
Twisted Bits of Copper Wire
Part 1- "I Am the Cute One, He's Just My Brother"
Outside the Koneko no Sumu Ie a slender form lurked, blatantly pretending to be interested in the flowers. Occasionally he would look up and glare daggers at the girls drooling over a certain Koneko, but would more often be sitting on a nearby bench typing on his laptop. Now, you see, the man loitering outside the flower shop was no ordinary man, at least not in his own mind. Grinning slyly to himself, he opened his word processing program and began his memoirs.
iI know what you're all thinking. You're saying to yourself, "Self, why is such a handsome young man wasting his life away outside some little-known flower shop?" Well the answer is very simple. I'm keeping an eye on my otouto. Honestly I am. Not to mention the absolutely delectable young men that he so happens to work with... but that's a bit off topic, ne? The real topic was me.
Now, I'm sure you would like to know who exactly I am. For your information and your little black books, I am Takatori Fumi, the second youngest member of the Takatori Clan and clearly the only fully sane one. No, Fumi is not my full first name, but that's all you'll ever need to know. I like computers, the outdoors, and men. And I'm especially fond of my otouto because he's been exposed to the outside world. Unlike the other rejects of my family, his expansive trauma has actually knocked some sense into his little head; although I would hardly classify him as mentally stable. If you were kidnaped at an impressionable young age and your father didn't pay the ransom, would you become an assassin? I think not!/i
Fumi grumbled lowly and closed his laptop, maybe he wouldn't have his memoirs published after all. Yet another wonderful idea ruined because of some family secrets! Standing, he began to appraise a bunch of flowers to bring home. It was bad enough that his otouto, Takatori Mamoru also known as Tsukiyono Omi, had gotten into an unsavory line of business, but it was even worse that Omi was more successful at it than he would ever be. Of course, Fumi-kun never asked to be an assassin. All he ever wanted to do was play baseball!
Tears brimming in his eyes, the forgotten Takatori didn't realize he was crushing the aforementioned bunch of flowers until a disgruntled red-headed Koneko came ripping out of the flower shop, brandishing one fierce looking broom."TAKATORI!!! SHI'NE!!!"
Fumi was not intimidated. He knew rough sex, and this probably wasn't going to lead to it. But from his recent stumbles around the Koneko no Sumu Ie, he knew that Aya was fun to tease. Grabbing an uncrushed bunch of flowers he placed a quick kiss on the tip of Aya-kun's nose before running off, leaving a confused and slightly flustered Aya in his wake.
"See Takatori. See Takatori run. Run Takatori run. Wow, Omittchi, you've got some odd family members," Youji commented from inside the store.
Omi sweatdropped and laughed nervously. "It took you that long to notice?"
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Strolling past the doorman and into the elevator, Fumi rode to the thirty-second floor, upon which his lavish penthouse apartment resided. It was very good to have a rich father, very good indeed. He was glad that he decided to move away from home. With all the brainwashed Barbie dolls and half-human semi-beasts wandering around, it was getting kind of crowded. Ever since he was young, he could always remember Masafumi bringing home things that looked like women, dogs that looked like werewolves, and women that looked like dogs. Like that alone wasn't enough motivation to move out of Japan. Fumi was out on his own, living in the real world.
But of course, Takatori Reiji would have to give him a nice apartment for his own reasoning. Fumi's job was keep an eye on Schwarz, Reiji's personal bodyguards. Not like that was a problem. The red-headed telepath was scrumptious enough to keep Fumi's eyes glued to the window, which just so happened to be facing the floor-to-ceiling windows of the Schwarz residence. Lately things had been getting interesting. The red-head, Schuldig, was sleeping with Brad Crawford; Farfarello would sleep with anything to hurt God; and the young one, Naoe Nagi was trying his damn hardest to sleep with Omi....what?! He was trying to sleep with Omi?!! Fumi did not like that at all.
"Well, that can't happen," Fumi mused. "We'll just have to find a way to keep Christmas from coming... I mean, to keep that Naoe child from sleeping with my brother!"
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Now when most siblings have a problem with each other's relationships, one would think that they would talk it out. But not the members of the Takatori family, heavens no! Especially not the two members of the family who would rather hang themselves from their testicles than complain to Daddy-dearest.
"Dump him you little twerp!" Fumi raged while dangling his dear otouto from the ceiling fan of his apartment. He had invited Omi over for lunch figuring that he could smack some sense into his brother before he and Nagi got to a point in their relationship where one of them would be eating breakfast standing up.
"No way! Just because you can't get laid doesn't mean that I have to suffer!"
"Don't make me turn on the fan."
Omi paled. The fan was awfully high. And he was pretty sure that the highest speed would make him more than a little bit sick. "I'll get you for this Fumi! I swear I will!"
Unfazed, Fumi pondered at length how precisely his little brother would exact his revenge. He worried, and wondered, and puzzled, and speculated. Then turned the fan on to high.
"Well Omi-chan, I'm going to make lunch now. Does western food sound alright to you? How about some good old fashioned miso soup, or maybe some sushi?"
Omi turned green. He would get his revenge! Maybe once he got home he would call an emergency meeting of Weiß. He could have Ken-kun kick a soccer ball through the window of Fumi's new Corvette, or Youji-kun stick frogs in his underwear draw... or he could just blow up his apartment. Yes, that sounded about right.
~END PART ONE~