Fandom: Xenosaga (based on Episode I: Der Wille Zur Macht)
Title: Innocence I
Author: Calidus
Pairing: Jr./Albedo
Rating: R overall (PG13 for this part)
Warnings: Underage (physically, if not mentally)
Spoilers: If you haven't played through Xenosaga, read with caution.
Author's Notes: The first part of what will be the 'clean' version of my Xenosaga fic, especially for my beloved, homophobic fanfiction.net, and posted on my slash/yaoi account, so my gen/het readers won't think I've gone off the deep end. Speaking of which:
THIS IS SLASH, YAOI, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT. THAT MEANS THIS FIC IS ABOUT A HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO MALES. IN THIS PARTICULAR STORY, ONE OF THESE MALES IS PHYSICALLY UNDERAGE. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT, PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.
Rubedo.
No! I won't go! I –
Rubedo. You owe me. You betrayed us.
Please, I can't –
Begging? Rubedo, what has become of your pride? How pathetic! When have I ever shown mercy?
I hate you!
Come to me. You know where I'll be waiting. We can end it all.
Why are you so eager for an end? Hasn't the path served you well?
Finally, you speak like your true age, Rubedo. You've been trying to hide yourself in that child's body, haven't you? Trying to be innocent! How absurd!
I would leave this body, if I could.
Would you really? I doubt it, but we shall see.
*************************
"He never did answer my question," Jr. whispered to himself in frustration as he pulled on his shirt. Ever since Proto Merkabah, Albedo had become a strong presence in his mind, especially as he slept. He knew that Gaignun had noticed a difference in him, but perhaps he was afraid to ask. Jr. certainly wasn't going to let anyone think he was going mad, or that he was a risk – even though, deep down, he couldn't help thinking so, himself.
He also knew that it was becoming increasingly difficult, day by day, to resist Albedo's call. He almost hated the part of him that wanted to submit to Albedo as much as he hated Albedo himself. Lately, not even being with MOMO could calm the urge.
But it was on this morning that he knew – knew that he could only go so long before he gave in, and that such a time was not long in coming. He briefly considered having Gaignun lock him up, but that would only delay the inevitable – and likely cost the lives of anyone who stood in his way when he was too mad with the call to think rationally.
He was lying on the couch in his room, his head back and his eyes closed, when the buzzer at the door rang. He sighed and walked to the door, pressing the button to open it.
On the other side was MOMO, her golden eyes shining with joy. That joy shined from his eyes once, many years ago, and even now occasionally, when he got a new gun to play with. She smiled at him and, despite himself, he couldn't help but smile back.
"Hey, Jr.! Want to come to the beach with me? Ziggy says he'll play!"
This was it. If he didn't go with her, he knew where he would end up. Yet, the thought of going with her seemed even less appealing. The knowledge that this feeling came from Albedo, and not from himself, did not make it any less real.
"I'm sorry, MOMO. I'd like to go, but I've got business to attend to." Even as he said it, he did not feel as if it were his lips moving over the words. "Have fun with Ziggy. It must have taken a lot of effort to get him to agree to go out there." There, that was better. It felt more real, now.
She looked so very hurt. He hated that he had been the one to cause disappointment to pass over her face – but not as much as he hated the itch, the need to go. "Okay," MOMO said. "I guess I'll see you later, then. Don't work too hard." She walked away, looking back balefully just once before wandering out of sight.
Jr. stood with his back to the closed door for a few moments, breathing deeply of the recycled air onboard the Durandal. Then he went into his closet and dug around until he found his suitcase – it had been a long time since he had used it – and he was halfway through packing it before he realized how obvious he would look walking toward the dock carrying it. He threw it across the room in frustration, his clothes and favorite guns flying out.
Jr. walked out the door and did not look back.
*************************
"Captain Matthews, I have a proposition for you."
The captain of the Elsa nearly fell out of his seat in surprise at seeing the Little Master turn up on his doorstep so unexpectedly. "Of course, Little Master," he said. "What can we do for you?"
"If you can get me out of the Durandal without anyone knowing I am onboard and take me where I need to go, I will see to it that all your debts are cleared." It was partly a lie, he knew; he had no plans for how he would deal with Matthews' debt, but if he ever could in the future, he would do so.
The captain's eyes widened. "Little Master, I'm not sure if you realize how much debt I'm in, even after finally being paid for all the running around I was doing for Ms. Vector –"
"I don't care. Take it up with Gaignun. We'll work something out. He can take it out of my allowance." Allowance. Gaignun always teased him with that term.
"Captain, we can't refuse him," he heard the pilot whisper. "Think of what he's offering –"
"I know, I know," the captain said. He turned to Jr. "I've got a bad feeling about this, but I'll do it." Jr. nodded. "All right, slackers! Time to pick up the pace! We've got to get ready to leave at – hey, when are we leaving?"
"Now," Jr. said.
The captain frowned. "If you wish, sir. One of our crewmembers is in the Foundation, but I suppose we can do without him for a quick voyage."
"We'll put the first layer of shields up before we take off. They're supposed to scan us for our occupant's signatures when we leave, but we can tell them we're not fully operational yet, and that we need the shield to hold together certain areas of the ship safely until we reach the dock colony for special repairs," the navigator said.
"Good thinking," Jr. replied. It was nice to know the captain wasn't the brains of the crew. "I'll go wait in the passenger's cabin. Inform me when we are a safe distance from the Durandal and I'll tell you where to go."
*************************
Jr. sat on the couch in the furthest passenger's area. He found that he was more relaxed than he had been in weeks, or even years, now that he knew he was at least doing something; something to turn the gears of his destiny, wherever it may lead him. He had been idle for so long, and even though he was frightened – he had always been the fearful one, and would admit to hating his own fear more than he had ever hated anyone or anything, including Albedo – he was sure that this was the only thing to do, and that once he did it, things would be as they should.
He found himself yawning, and the corners of his eyes burned every time he blinked. Naturally, having Albedo invade his dreams had made him wary of sleep as of late. Despite this, he couldn't help curling up on the long couch and closing his eyes, at least for a minute.
Minutes turned into over an hour, and when the captain and his navigator went down to fetch him, they found him sound asleep.
"Think we should let him rest, captain?" Hammer asked.
"We can't. He hasn't told us where the hell to go yet." Matthews replied. He grabbed Little Master's shoulder and shook him.
Jr. awoke the moment the captain's hand touched him. He blinked groggily and pushed himself up to a sitting position. "Are we clear?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.
"Yup," Hammer replied.
Captain Matthews glared back at him. "He was asking me, numbskull! Yeah, we're out of range of the Durandal's sensors now. Where to?"
"The planet Casses, in the Dolus system," Jr. said.
"Casses?" the navigator cried. "Why would anyone want to go there? It's one of the most deserted places in the galaxy! It isn't populated at all. Not even pirate ships go around there."
That just made it all the more obvious why Albedo would be there. He relished nothingness. "It doesn't matter. That's where we're going. End of discussion."
"Don't see why not," Matthews said. "It doesn't sound too dangerous."
"Captain, are you sure we shouldn't inform Master Gaignun?" Hammer asked.
"I told you, I don't want anyone to know I'm gone!" Jr. growled in frustration.
"I just don't think it's right for us to be helping a little kid run away from home. Especially when it's our boss' kid," Hammer added.
"I'm not a kid!" Jr. shouted, stalking over to Hammer. "I'm just as capable of making my own decisions as anyone else on this ship."
He waved his arms in surrender. "Okay, okay, sorry, Little Master. I didn't mean to offend you. I'll go set the course."
Jr. sighed. "Tell me when we're there. It should only take about twelve hours in hyperspace."
"Yes, sir, Little Master," Matthews said. He left, and Jr. was alone with his thoughts again.
*************************
"Now entering high orbit around the planet Casses," Tony said.
"I'm telling you, there's nothing here," Hammer said. "I have no idea why Little Master would want to come out here."
"Tony, go get Little Master. Tell him we've reached our destination." Tony left, and the captain sat back in his chair. "I don't know either, but money is money, so shut your trap."
"You said yourself that you had a bad feeling about this," Hammer grumbled. He pressed several buttons on the control panel in front of him. "Scanning the area for vessels – not like it's necessary out here, but it is protocol." After a few more moments, he said "I figured as much – completely deserted. What a weird mission."
The door to the bridge opened, and Tony and Jr. stepped in. "Thank you, captain," Jr. said. His stomach was fluttering from nervousness, but he knew that he couldn't go back if he wanted to, now. "Have you already made the usual scans?"
"Yes, sir," Hammer said. "Nothing, just like I told you."
Jr. bit his lip. Surely he couldn't have been wrong? "Scan more specifically for smaller vessels. Is this thing equipped with a cloak scanner?" he asked.
"No, sir, but I'll try our best scan. Could take a while, but…"
Jr. didn't hear the rest of what was said. It felt like a freezing liquid was working its way up his spine and he shuddered. When he let out his breath, it condensed in the air. He was making his presence known. "Never mind," he said hoarsely. "He's here."
The crew turned to him in astonishment. "Who's he?" Matthews asked.
"Captain!" Hammer said. "I've got a visual on something heading towards us. It looks like a huge A.G.W.S.!"
"Simeon," Jr. whispered.
"Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Matthews demanded.
"Keep in orbit around the planet," Jr. instructed as he shivered. He was getting colder by the minute. It was unnecessarily dramatic.
"If you say so," Hammer replied warily. "I really don't like this."
The giant armored suit kept coming closer. Within a few minutes, it was orbiting right next to the Elsa.
Jr. was close to passing out from the cold. His teeth were chattering violently. Captain Matthews finally noticed. "Hey, Little Master, what's wrong?" he asked.
"Sir, that thing is docking with us!" the helmsman cried.
"What?" Matthews said. "How?"
"It's hooking itself up to the cargo bay. I think whatever's in there is trying to get in!"
"Damnit, don't let it!"
"Yes, let it," Jr. rasped. "I need to go to the cargo bay." He slowly moved his numbing limbs to the door of the bridge and walked out.
"What the hell?" Matthews said. "What does he think he's doing?"
"It's overriding all our password protocols!" said Hammer. "I can't stop it!"
*************************
Come to me, Rubedo.
"I'm…coming," he whispered. "Keep your pants on."
Now that wouldn't be any fun, would it?
The voice in his head chuckled, but Jr. couldn't understand why. He was so cold he couldn't even remember what he had said. He could see a tunnel leading out of the cargo hatch, though, and that became his single goal.
As soon as he stumbled into the tunnel, he heard the low buzzing of the closing door behind him. He looked back, but was forced to the ground by the tunnel closing up and retracting. Jr. realized that the tunnel was being pulled into Simeon with him still inside it, but couldn't bring himself to care. It did, after all, save him the trouble of walking. He collapsed onto the cold, metallic floor as he was dragged along and, still chilled to the bone, passed out.
*************************
"Captain, it's leaving!" Hammer said. Then his eyes widened in shock. "Sir, I don't detect Little Master on board. I think he's inside that thing!"
Just as he said it, the armored suit activated its thrusters and began to speed away. "Catch it, you idiots!" Matthews growled.
"We can't, it's moving too fast! It's about to go into hyperspace!"
"Damn it!" Matthews said, pounding his fist on the console in front of him as the giant suit transitioned to hyperspace. "We'll never catch it now! That damn thing sure is fast!"
"Sir, it uploaded something into our database," Hammer said. His fingers raced across the console. "It has a tag."
He paused. "It says: For Gaignun."
Matthews smacked his forehead with his hand. "Damn, Master Gaignun. He's going to kill us for this."
"Us?" Hammer cried. "This wasn't my idea! I told you we shouldn't do it!"
"Oh, shut your trap." Matthews grumbled, kicking him in the back of the head.
To Be Continued…