Dear Editor,
I have a slight problem, the woman I love refuses to acknowledge my existence! What should I do?
Hated Lover
Dear Hated Lover,
This section is for sophisticated inquiries pertaining to local concerns and opinions, not some teenage girl's diary entry. Please refrain from further correspondence of this nature.
Kirkland Gazette Editor
Dear Editor,
Despite my overflowing love for her, my dearest one merely repays me with abhorrence and contempt! Why?!
Hated Lover
Dear Hated Lover,
This is your second letter of this nature. In the future endeavour to restrain yourself from further communication with both this journal and the poor woman you seem so intent on harassing.
Kirkland Gazette Editor
Dear Editor,
I have come to the conclusion that I shall just have to employ myself at the company my beloved works for. Wish me luck!
Hated Lover
Dear Hated Lover,
Bloody hell! What is your problem? My sincerest sympathies go out to this lady, I hope she bloody well calls the bobbies on you!
Kirkland Gazette Editor
Alice Kirkland slammed the latest edition of Kirkland Gazette on her desk in a huff. There was no way in hell that she was going to allow this bloody nitwit to made a fool of her newspaper! She had laboured long and hard to maintain her family journals prestigious reputation and wasn't about to lose it due to this 'Hated Lover'. Teeth clenched, Alice swore that she would repay her eldest brother for forcing her into this correspondence. Unfortunately, while she took it upon herself to serve as the newspaper's chief and head editor, it was Allistor who had inherited the company. Although for the most part he took little interest in this responsibility, he took great pleasure in nullifying Alice's decisions just to spite her. A rap at the door turned her attention from her internal berating monologue to her next scheduled task.
"You summoned me Chief?" Gilbert Beilschmidt sauntered in, not awaiting her response.
"Right, Gilbert. I have a job for you."
"Of course you have a job for me, I am employed here after all kesesese!"
Alice's deadpanned response made her annoyance apparent. "Are you quite finished? Moving on. There's a new recruit coming aboard, I'm hoping for him to fill in for the Financial Report as it's been vacant since Vash's untimely departure. Although knowing Allistor, he'll probably be placed in some preposterous department like 'Why Scots are better than the English.'" She trailed off almost to herself. "Anyways I want you to show him the ropes."
"The awesome me is on it Chief! I'll show this newbie what an awesome job I do at everything! I'll show him how to... Wait boss, what exactly am I supposed to show him?"
"Bloody hell Gilbert! Do I have to draw everything out for you?! Just give him a tour of the place and introduce him to the staff. Now get out of my office before I bloody well fire you!"
Unaware of his boss's aggravation, Gilbert stalked out, intent on becoming the 'most awesome tour guide ever!'. Focused on his mission, he failed to hear Alice call out, "His name is Matthias Køhler."
"Je promets Mademoiselle Kirkland did indeed hire me."
"Sorry lad but I have not been informed of anyone by the name Francis Bonnefoy being hired." Alroy sighed.
"Mais c'est vrai! She called me just this morning!" The man, evidently named Francis, cried.
The twin secretaries of the Kirkland Gazette exchanged glances. "Are ye French?" Freya inquired.
"Oui!"
"The chances of me believing your tale just plummeted you eejit." The redhead crackled. "Alice has a notorious hatred for Frenchmen."
Her ginger brother scoffed at the man who was currently on his knees, practically begging, "Our sister would rather have the company go under than take a frenchman aboard."
"Don't make prejudgements, it's totally unawesome!" Gilbert smacked Alroy, laughing. "Your dear sister just told me to come down and give this guy a tour."
"She did?!" Alroy, Freya and Francis exclaimed in unison.
"Kesesese ja, he's taking over for Vash or something like that. Awesome right? But not as awesome as my job of course."
Gilbert found himself at the receiving end of a glare that made it quite evident that Freya and Alice were siblings. "All you do is write sports statistics, hardly worth a Pulitzer Prize. And ye better be right, if this comes back on us, we're blaming you!"
"Ooookkkaaayyyy! Let's get going then, Francis was it?"
Francis nodded his head in confirmation and scurried after Gilbert, ignoring the suspicious glares of the twins upon his retreating form.
"Merci mon ami. Ils sont 'ow you say, quite intimidating?"
"Kesesese yeah the Kirkland gang are quite the characters. Those two leprechauns back there were Alroy and Freya by the way. I try to stay away from them, they can both pack quite the punch. Not that it would hurt the awesome me of course!"
Francis nodded in acknowledgement as they entered the elevator.
"By the way I'm the awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt, head sports' reporter!"
"Francis Bonnefoy, writer of some sort I suppose."
Gilbert laughed as the doors of the elevator reopened, depositing them on the fourth floor of the building. "Okay, introduction time! Behind that menacing wall there is the Chief, Alice Kirkland. Beware!"
"I am well acquainted with Mlle Kirkland." Francis smirked
"Really? Wow! Then that spares me the need of knocking on her door and poking the bear. Moving on! Over here we have Allistor. Technically he's our boss but all he does is…" He trailed off, "Actually I have no idea what he does kesesese."
"Alllissttooorrr! How are you this awesome day?"
The burly Scotsmen continued hunching over his desk, tossing a wave over his shoulder without turning around. "Nae baud, yersel?"
"Awesome of course! I've got the awesome job of introducing this guy, Francis someone or other. He's pretty cool, although he ain't as awesome as me!"
"Bonjour Allistor, ça fait longtemps."
"Lang time nae see laddie." He turned, crossing his arms.
"You two know each other too? Wow, popular much Francis! Um, well I'll let you guys catch up, I'm gonna go bug Elizaveta. Catch me when your done Francy!"
With that the German sauntered off, leaving an awkward, disconcerting atmosphere behind.
'ow 'ave you been? Company owner now, non? Bien, bien. I've moved back into town. Paris was splendid indeed mais mon coeur est ici, dans cette chambre. But enough about me, 'ow's life? Got a special someone? 'ow's buisness? Stumbled across any juicy stories?" Francis rambled on nervously.
Allistor sighed, "Stap yer havering lassie! Daes she know?
Francis let out a guilty chuckle, scratching the back of head, "Errr non? She may not be 100% aware of the fact that I am 'ere."
"Yer aff yer heid! Ye need tae teel 'er."
"Oui je sais, mais…" He let out an exasperated sigh.
"Failing means yer playin'. Ye're a smairt lad, heid doon arse up!" Allistor threw his hands into the air.
"D'accord, I'll think about it."
"Guid luck lass. Noo get back tae work, see ye efter." He turned back to his desk after patting Francis on the head affectionately.
"Merci mon ami. It was great to see you again."
Francis turned from his old friend in search of his guide. He found him across the room, literally hanging off the desk of some brunette.
"But Lizzie, you can't do this to the awesome me! I mean... Oh, hi Francis!"
The man-boy snapped his head around so fast that he fell from his perch on the desk, collapsing in a heap on the floor. Much to the curiosity of Francis, the brunette did not seem disturbed by this development in the least.
Dusting himself off, Gilbert turned and grinned at Francis, "How was your chat with Alley?"
Francis arched a perfectly manicured brow, "I take it you mean Allistor?"
"Ja, ja, same diff!" He waved his hand in a dismissive manner. "Anyways, this chick here is Elizaveta. Trouble with a capital T, and Kirkland Gazettes top reporter, after the awesome me of course!"
Francis leaned forward kissing her hand, "Enchanté mademoiselle!"
A muscle in Gilbert's forehead twitched, "Okay, it's totally unawesome to waste time! Let's move on with this tour."
And so it begins... There is major history between Francis and the Kirklands, just in case that failed to come to your attention lol. I know Republic of Ireland is not normally included with the Kirkland siblings but having lived there, I just had to include her. We'll meet the rest of the staff next time, and have a possible run in with Alice!