"I'm going to kill somebody." An extremely irate Hakuba could not help but think this over and over again, seeing that it was probably the only thing keeping him sane. The normally well-composed- not stuffy- British detective could feel a migraine building in his forehead as he stood outside a very imposing looking building, called the Washington D. Company, for yet another KID heist. Groaning slightly, he attempted to pull the skirt he had on a little lower to preserve at least some semblance of dignity.

Wait. What?

The reason for Hakuba's grumpiness and headache was actually very simple. He was at a KID heist wearing a skirt, dress shirt, long blonde wig, hair ribbon, and copious amounts of makeup. Who wouldn't be at least a little cranky? But wait. Why on earth was Hakuba dressed as a girl, anyways?

Well, really, this all started when Hakuba decided to return to Japan after about a year abroad in England. Quite simple, really. Except, of course, he had (stupidly) decided to call Inspector Nakamori to announce his arrival. Apparently, KID had planned a heist on the same day he was set to return to Japan, and Nakamori wanted his help (still having had no luck in catching the elusive KID). Happy at any chance to defeat and unmask that stupid thief (who Hakuba still thought was definitely Kuroba), the detective immediately accepted.

The only problem was, upon stepping off the plane after hours of flying, a slightly ruffled, sleepless Hakuba was greeted by an extremely happy and dress-wielding Task Force.

"No." Hakuba had deadpanned. "No bloody way am I'm wearing that." The shirt was covered in frills and ribbons, and the skirt was a horrid shade of hot pink that made him want to puke.

"Please?" The task force had begged.

Apparently, the logic behind the dress was that nobody except for them knew that Hakuba had returned to Japan. If he was wearing a disguise, then of course, KID, not knowing that Hakuba was there, would naturally have his guard down, and then they would finally catch him!

Of course, Hakuba had protested, torn between wanting to defeat KID once and for all, and not wanting to defeat KID whilst in a miniskirt. He had eventually relented, and now found himself pretending to be a girl (although, with some masterfully applied makeup, a rather convincing one).

"What's the story behind this one?" Hakuba asked Nakamori.

"KID's goal today is the Sisyphean Diamond, a stone which was rumored to have belonged to the ancient Greek king," Nakamori rattled off. Huh. It sounded like he'd be rehearsing. "I have the note right here."

Hakuba took the note from the Inspector. For a KID note it was decently straightforward (perhaps, due to his absence, the phantom thief had been forced to dumb it down a bit, so the task force would actually have a chance of solving the notices).

"I will be stealing the Sisyphean Diamond on Saturday at (a) Wd 9.

-Kaitou KID. :3"

Yes. It was significantly easier to solve compared to KID's normal notes. Apparently, a year was a long time. Hopefully, having to deal with the Task Force's almost humorous failures meant that KID was out of practice meant that it would be easier to catch him.

"So..." Hakuba ventured, "what's our plan for today?"

"Glad you asked," Nakamori answered, a tad smug. "You, my friend, are going to do what you always do: tell us the best plan of action to do in order to catch KID."

"...why does this mean I need to wear a skirt again?" Hakuba could not help but ask, even though he already knew the answer. It was so that, in the case that KID was currently scoping out the building, he wouldn't know that Hakuba was a part of this, and would then be caught completely off guard when Hakuba, with his detective's mind, managed to deduce the magician's plan and location.

Nakamori, having already explained this, simply ignored the question. "It's only 5:50," he said, looking at his watch. "I still have time to show you our security system." With that, Hakuba found himself walking through unfriendly looking concrete corridors and climbing down staircases to the basement.

"This room is completely foolproof," Nakamori nodded. "It's basically a concrete cube, entirely underground, and with only one entrance: the door. KID will never make it in here!" He laughed nervously while patting the pedestal where the jewel rested in all its shimmering glorys.

Hakuba was too busy staring at the heist card to take notice of Nakamori's nervous prattle. Something felt off about it... why were there two 'ats', anyways? Thinking about it, the second one looked kind of like a swirl... or maybe a circular arrow? Frowning, he turned it upside down. Huh. Upside down it almost looked like...

Somewhere, a clock chimed 6. Almost simultaneously, a very familiar pink gas began to fill the room, causing all of the room's members to collapse into fits of unconsciousness.

Well, all except one. Hakuba had managed to get an arm in front of his mouth and nose, and, after a few brief moments of lightheadedness, pulled himself together enough to look up.

"Oh shit." The detective cursed. Perched on top of the pedestal and holding the large gemstone was none other than the one, and the only, Kaitou Kid. Apparently, his notes had not gotten the point of straightforwardness that they actually exactly specified the time/date/location. The thief certainly cut an imposing figure. With a familiar smirk, he did a neat back flip and took off for the door, his white cape flowing behind him.

Hakuba immediately jumped up to his feet and began to run after his nemesis. Screw the fact that he was in a skirt, he was the only actual conscious member of the Task Force, and thus the only one with the ability to catch the thief. The Brit immediately began cursing in his head as he tripped and stumbled: who's idea was it for him to wear high heels again? Tearing the accursed shoes off, he took to the chase.

Five minutes and innumerable staircases later, Hakuba finally arrived, panting harshly and heart pounding, in the main lobby. Kaitou KID was standing there serenely, gazing up at the beautiful gem he held in his hand, which sparkled prettily in the moonlight.

"STOP! THIEF!" Hakuba screeched, perhaps a bit higher then he would normally talk. Hey, he was out of breath, after all. Hakuba lurched forward in an attempt to perhaps tackle the thief, but KID's reflexes were too fast, and he neatly jumped out of the way. Poor Hakuba collapsed to the floor gasping for breath.

"Mental note to self," he thought bitterly. Just what his mental note to self was ended up never completely thought out, because at that moment, Hakuba felt gloved fingers brush his own, and the next thing he knew, a certain phantom thief was kissing his hand.

Kissing. His. Hand.

"Oh god no." Hakuba mouthed silently, his mind going blank in fear. This was not happening. This was not happening. KID was not acting like his normal, flirtatious self because KID only flirted with those crazy girls in his fanclub, and Hakuba was a guy.

Except.

Hakuba was a guy dressed as a girl.

Or disguised as girl. Meaning that KID didn't recognize him.

Oh no.

"I'll give this back." The thief smiled his trademark grin, the one that generally had the Task Force wanting to tear out their hair in frustration and annoyance, and pressed the large stone into Hakuba's disbelieving hand. "It's not what I'm looking for." With a swirl of his cape, Kaitou turned around and made to leave.

'St-stop!" Hakuba managed to get those words out of his shell-shocked mind, and instinctively lunged towards the person in front of him, ultimately ending up with a handful of cape.

Bad move.

The thief stopped dead, then slowly turned around and kneeled down.

"Congratulations on figuring out the message," KID smiled. Hakuba's heart did not suddenly speed up due to nervousness, the same way Hakuba did not draw back slightly in fear and apprehension.

"But... a lovely flower such as yourself shouldn't mope on the ground." Great. Now the thief really WAS flirting with him. This day couldn't get any worse, could it?

Rather suddenly, Kaitou stood up, dragging Hakuba up with him.

"I guess this is you're reward for 'catching' me." Chuckling slightly, he grabbed Hakuba's chin.

Tilted his face forward slightly.

And kissed him full on the lips.

Alright, perhaps this was an exaggeration. It was more of a quick peck, and then KID was gone, a soaring bird silhouetted against the brightness of the full moon.

But still. There was something about being kissed by your rival/only criminal who's defeated you/classmate that would leave you slightly traumatized.

But even as he sat there gazing in complete horror at the retreating figure of the phantom thief and trying to come to terms over what had just happened, his mouth agape in shock, Hakuba's mind could only think one thing.

At least the disguise was successful.

I am amazed that I actually wrote something. And am now attempting to write something multi-chapteral. THE WORLD IS ENDING.

..also, the (a) thing is the at sign, because FF won't let me use the real thing (D:)

Reviews=motivation, yes?

Gosho Aoyama owns these characters, not me. If I DID own them....