She breathed in and then out. That was it. It was such an easy, simple thing for her to do. She wasn't dead. But he was…
She just stood there, amongst the crowd of sobbing people, half of which she didn't recognise , staring blankly at the gravestone. She couldn't even bring herself to read what was carved onto its dull grey face. She couldn't. If she did she would know for certain what happened did actually happen. That it wasn't some sick nightmare that would go away when she woke up.
She just stood there, lost in her own mind, breathing in and out wondering why it was so hard for a person to stop doing that, to not be there anymore, to never be her dad again. Now he was just a cold, lifeless body that was hidden under the ground.
She didn't even notice that people had started to leave , giving her sympathetic looks through there red blood-shot eyes and tear stained faces. They were all crying.
why were they all crying? She thought to herself, tearing her dreary eyes away from the gravestone , to stare at the people who were leaving. She didn't really recognise them, but they seemed to know who she was apparently. The only people she recognised were Jackson, Lilly and Oliver. Her two best friends stood either side of her, understanding that the whole thing hadn't sunk in by the way she hadn't yet shed a tear. Jackson stood on the opposite side of the grave, not yet ready to leave, with tears silently and slowly trickling down the side of his emotionless face. He didn't know what to feel. Sad. Angry. Confused? He just couldn't understand why. Why did he have to do this to them?
The four stood there like this for at least 10 minutes. Lilly and Oliver, didn't want to leave their best friend and her brother alone, and were waiting to be there when Miley was finally going to accept what happened and find a way of dealing with it. She would need them, they knew it.
Miley looked down to her feet, the realization hitting her as she began to cry, tears blurring her vision. She couldn't handle this. This can't be happening…
" Miley." Lilly and Oliver whispered together. They didn't know what else to say. What could they have said to make her feel better? She dropped to her knees, Glaring at the hard stone that looked new and out of place.
Here lies b….. That's all she could read to herself before tears completely drowned her vision . Her dad…gone. It still seemed like a stupid , sick nightmare that she would wake from any minute now, to her daddy bringing her Loco hot cocoa, and they would talk about how Hannah was doing, a new song or stuff that was going on in school.
But no, it was real she could feel the grass she was kneeling on, she could feel the cold November wind sharply stabbing at her skin making shivers run through her spine. She could even feel the rough lettering on the smooth new shiny gravestone, as she fingered the words that proved her suspicions wrong. Yet none of this could prepare her for the other thing she was feeling, the pain of loosing another parent, another part of her.
She completely broke down. Lilly cried while holding on to Oliver, at the sight of seeing Miley hurting so much. Jackson kneeled down next to the grave hugging miley tight not wanting to let her go, as he whispered how it was all going to be ok into the top of her head. Half trying to convince himself to make sure he wouldn't break down like his sister had. The other half knowing they would make it through this, after all, they did with mom.
How is it going to be ok? She thought to herself, not yet ready to speak and interrupt her and Jackson's much needed brother and sister moment. I don't see how it will ever be ok again. He's gone. Oh god he's gone . Her own mind forcing her to cry even more uncontrollably. Why would he do this to us? To me? Why would he leave us here alone? Why would he take his own life? The one question that ran through her head. She just couldn't get round it . She had found him, what he had done to escape his life. Why? But then she understood. mom. He had never got over it.