You're a Superstar

Fanfiction: Big Time Rush

Disclaimer: I don't own BTR… yet;)

Summary: Full Story: Midnight. James can't sleep, so he goes to the one person he can always trust to make him feel better: his best friend's little sister, Katie. James has known Katie since she was born, and he's only two years older than her, being the youngest of BTR. He doesn't even knock on her door anymore, they've become so used to coming into each other's rooms at night (mostly Katie's, since she had her own room) and just talking it out until they can sleep. But when James goes in tonight… he sees something he'd been praying would never, ever happen to his little Katie. END OF SUMMARY Yeah, this is a Jatie fic and if you don't like it, don't read it! I made Katie 13 and James 15. Made him the youngest and her a lot older, so it wouldn't seem as creepy. Here goes!

James POV

CHAPTER ONE- Midnight.

I rolled over and groaned. I still couldn't sleep. Something had been bothering me in the back of my mind for a while. Something was a little off about Katie. Lately, for about 3 weeks actually, she wouldn't eat with us. She always said she was eating with Tyler or Kyle. We didn't question it, because we were glad she had friends now. No one else noticed, but I did, that Tyler and his insane mom hadn't been around for two of those weeks, yet she still told us that. I haven't even seen Kyle since that one night when I scared the crap out of him being way too protective. Which meant she was lying. And I haven't seen her eat in three weeks, and she's already so little. She spends a ton of time at the gym, and it's starting to worry me. Since I'm obviously terrible at keeping secrets, I'll just tell you. I'm totally and completely in love with my best friend's little sister. The guys all know it. That was why I was SO protective of her. It was just bothering me. Katie wasn't eating… she spent most of her time at the gym… or alone in her room… or locked in her bathroom… she hadn't gone swimming in a while. Suddenly, I came to two realizations. Katie was anorexic. And Katie was getting into what Logan did a while ago. Logan got over it, but Kate must have thought it was a good way to get out feelings… Katie was cutting. Careful not to wake Carlos, I jumped out of my bed, pulled on some jeans and a shirt, and opened the door and shut it very quietly. I tiptoed down the hall to the little nook where Katie's room was. I opened the door to her room and quietly shut it behind me, before turning around to face a sight I never wanted to see on Katie. She was wearing jogging pants and a sports bra, which didn't surprise me, since Katie generally wore something like this to bed. But lately, the past three weeks, she wore a bunch of baggy clothes. Another sign that was bothering me. But the sight in front of me almost made me cry. I know, I'm such a girl. But Katie was lying in her beanbag bed (1) with a razor blade in her hand. I flipped the light switch and ran to her side. I could see her ribs. I could see all the cuts on her stomach, too. I started counting. Fifteen. Her lucky number (2)… it wasn't so lucky anymore.

"Katie…"

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "James…"

"Why? Why are you doing this?"

"Don't tell Kendall!"

"I won't Kate. I couldn't break his heart like that. Just tell me why. Why are you hurting yourself? Why are you starving yourself?"

"I don't deserve it. I just put a damper on everything. No one loves me. I'm ugly. I'm evil. Everyone hates me. No one could ever love me. Ever."

"Kat… That is not true. You deserve everything. You always make me smile. I love you. Kendall loves you. Carlos and Logan love you. Mama Knight definitely loves you. You get more beautiful everyday. You have a heart of pure gold. I don't know of anyone who hates you, even Mr. Bitters likes you since Christmas. Everyone loves you."

"Don't lie to me Jamie. I'm so mean to people, and I'm plain. I'll never be as pretty as her," she showed me a magazine, "I never even smile anymore."

"Look, Kate. You're wrong. You're a superstar. You're a perfect original. Don't compare yourself to those magazines. You're my cover girl. I'd do anything to see you smile."

She just shook her head. I sighed, and pulled her into my arms and stood up.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Just to your bathroom. You need to get fixed up, then we can talk."

She nodded. I sat her on the countertop, then got out a pack of bandages and some antibiotic ointment crap. I medicated and bandaged all her cuts. I got out her brush and brushed out her hair for her, then spur of the moment, kissed her forehead. I mentally facepalmed myself. Not the time for falling for her, James! I yelled at myself. "Stay here."

I walked out of her bathroom and went to her closet to find her a t-shirt, but all I could find was all her fitted clothes she didn't wear anymore… So, I just went back to my room and grabbed my Minnesota Wild t-shirt and brought it back to her.

"It doesn't even fit me anymore. You can keep it."

She smiled and I pulled it over her head, then took her in my arms again and walked over to her bed, then sat down, but kept her in my lap.

"Tell me, Kat. What made you do all this to yourself?"

She looked away from me, but I grabbed her face and made her look into my eyes. "Tell me."

I guess that was the last straw. She just barely whispered, "Austin."

The name… it sounded familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Austin?"

"Ellis. He moved here about three and a half weeks ago," she whispered.

"…And that was right before all this started. What did he do Kate? Just tell me."

She finally broke down. It's a good thing she insisted on having the one soundproof room. Finally, she spilled the whole story to me in a rush.

"Austin… I thought he was cute… so we went on a date while you guys were at the studio… and he… he took me behind the building… and he… he said it was a shortcut… and then he punched me when I wouldn't… have… sex.. with… him… and he told me that I was evil and he called me the b-word … and he told me everyone hated me… and that no one could love me… and the only thing I was good for was kissing him… and he called me a useless sl-word and that there was no f-wording was anyone could love me because… I was a lying ugly loser and the only person who f-wording cared about me was those- sorry James- pansy buttholes James and Kendall. He told me I was fat and I could do anything and no one would care. I told him… that someone would care… but he said I should test it out… and start f-wording cutting myself… and see if someone noticed… but you did." Then she broke back into those wracking sobs.

"Where. Is. He. Which. Apartment. Is. He. In."

"He left, James. Last week. Moved back to Tennessee."

I hugged her so tight I'm surprised she could breath.

"Katie, I love you so much…" I decided it was past time I told her, "As much more than a little sister."

I watched the realization pass over her face, then the joy, then the confusion, then the anger in about three seconds.

"James. Freaking. Diamond. Lying to me to make me feel better is NOT going to help me right now."

She didn't believe me.

"Kate, I love you. Trust me. I do."

"I can't trust anyone, James. Get out of my room."

"But-"

"OUT!"

I did as she said. But it's a freaking good thing that Carlos is a heavy sleeper. And that Kendall taught me how to play guitar, with Kat's help, actually, about three years ago. Because I would be up all night, writing something that would prove to Katelynn Leanne Knight that I love her with my everything, and that will make her feel better about herself.

(1)I saw it in a store once. It's like a beanbag, but really long, and you can sleep on them.

(2) It's my lucky number.

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