Maybe if I don't cry I won't feel anymore. My name is John. I have a best friend named Dave. we were so close and had the best of times but then Dave gets a new boyfriend Karkat, I Act like i'm cool around Karkat but if I hate anyone in the world right now it's him. Karkat stole my best friend so i hate him at first i was cool with this but then Dave started ditching me to be with karkat and that's just when i just couldn't dave would always hang out with his other boyfriend and lkd this other boyfriend. Dave has know Karkat for one month and he has already ditched my 20 times . I'm happy for him but it breaks my soul when i see them together.

"Dude this is so exciting!" Dave says getting ready to go on his second date

"I'm happy for you" I say.

" dude i'm just so nervous what if this is all a joke"

" why on earth would it be a joke he loves you" i say

" okay okay i know i'm just nervous"

" you must really love him you're losing you coolness"

" shut up egderp" he says punching me in the arm. Just than the bell rings and Dave loses it " oh no that must be karkat i'm not ready." he pushes me towards the door " go stall him"

" whatever" Dave rushes to his room and i walk calmly to the door I open the door " hey karkat!" i say attempting to sound excited.

" what's up egbert. Where the fuck is strider?" he curses I learned earlier that he does his a lot.

" he is getting ready he'll be down soon" i say. As if on cue dave appears at the top of the stairs wearing a white tee shirt and my red flannel and black jeans and red vans and his signature strider shades he hops down the stairs

" sup babe" he says grabbing karkat's hand they kiss.

" hey dave" karkat says onto his lips

"Hey, hey, hey, hey no PDA in my house!"

" our house egderp and you can obviously stand it. But to please you we will leave" Dave says almost have way out the door he turns around " oh and john imm meet you at the club i'll call you when i get there"

" okay Dave bye" i shut the door behind him and lock it. I lean my head on the door "You see me standing, but I'm dying on the floor" I collapse on the floor and i start crying cold hard sobs i put my back up to the and i hold my head in my knees " i'm happy for him, i'm happy for him , i'm happy for him, i'm happy for him, i'm happy for him… God knows I tried to feel Happy for you" i take slow breaths when i get my life under control " I'M just mad that i just lost a best friend i'm mad at karkat because he stole my best friend" i pull myself off the floor because i hear my phone ring from the couch i go get my phone i take one last deep breath before i put the phone to my ear " yes dave"

" he said yes!" he says sounding excited

" who said yes to what"

"Karkat said yes to moving in with me"

" at our apartment" i say trying to hide the crack in my voice

" yes were you not listening to the conversation that we had earlier"

" sorry i must of forgot"

" it's okay i'm just so excited i get to live with my best friend and my boy friend"

" this is going to be so exciting i can't wait!" when is he moving in?"

" next week"

" this is going to be too much fun now get back to your date cool kid"

" alright see you later egderp" he hangs up and i lower my phone from my ear with a shaky hand i screech the most blood curdling scream and i throw my phone at the brick wall behind me. I just lost my best friend my house and my phone" i walk over to my phone the front screen is shattered but works fine nonetheless. I open it up and call my sister Jade she picks up on the second ring

" hey john what's up"

" i'm moving out and i need a place to stay can I stay with you?"

" yes of course but what why are you moving?"

" you sure as hell know why i'm moving"

" i'm so sorry"

" yeah me too" i hang up and and put my phone on the table. I sit down on the couch I would go and clean my room to get ready to move but i've been predicting this for the past two weeks. After about an hour i get a call from dave saying that he is at the club setting up his dj stuff i go to the bathroom and wash my face then change clothes then i'm walking deown to the club to meet dave. I walk around to the back entrance to help dave set up his stuff when i see dave kissing HIM. I clear my throat to let them know of my presence and the come apart karkat blushing like mad and dave just has his arm around his shoulders

" hey john if you could get my turntables from the back seat." i stare at him to see if he is serious but he is not looking at me he is looking at karkat. Dave knows that I can't carry his turntables last time i tried I dislocated my shoulder and dave was so worried about me that he canceled his gig to take me to the hospital.

" sure" i turn to look for his car and i see it about 100 feet away " oh hell no" i say under my breath. I look back at Dave to see him kissing karkat against the wall. I see his car keys in his back pocket. I go take his keys and i go pull the truck up to the back door where they are I honk the horn and jump out the car leaving the keys in the ignition Dave and Karkat spring apart " I got your turntables" i say. And with that i walk inside the club. Not more than 30 minutes later dave is onstage playing music and Karkat just pops up beside

" That was some real ass sass that you were throwing dave earlier" he says, I think quickly and come up with an excuse

" I was just upset about breaking my phone earlier today" i say showing him my shattered screen.

" oh sorry dude that fucking sucks" just then there is a slow song and dave appears beside us taking karkat's hand and leading him onto the dance floor You're dancing with him, while I'm staring at my phone. Once that the song Is over dave takes his place at the dj booth and Karkat next to me i'm downing down my third shot. I turn to him

" I bet that you can't beat me in a drink off"

" you're on!"

about too many shots later karkat is so drunk i want to laugh but me on the other hand i've long since asked the bartender to switch my vodka shots to water. Dave runs up to us and is basically holding Karkat

" My fucking God John what did you do to him"

"I just beat youth boy johnny here in a drink off" Karkat says drunk off his ass. I can do nothing but laugh my ass off.

" what type of vodka is this even?" Dave asks picking up my shot downing it He gets so pissed "you've been over here drinking water while Karkat gets drunk off his ass with vodka!" Dave throws the shot Glass at me and it shatters cutting my cheek

"Does this mean that i win" karkat says passing out dave takes him away I storm away and i go all the way back home. I pack my stuff so fast a cheetah would be jealous i pull out my plane ticket for california and my acceptance letter for stanford university. I look at the photos of me and dave one from when we were ten me smiling and him with his almost mastered poker face it says bros forever i pull this photo off the wall and out of the frame on the back there is a lined piece of paper it says

As of today march 18 2006, me and john are best bros. I vow that I will never betray or hurt him for as long as I live and we will be best bros until that day. Bros before hoes all the time.

DAVE STRIDER

I touch the cut on my cheek then I get my stuff i throw the picture on his bed and i leave i slam the door behind me and i don't look back.I wish I could mend this but here's my goodbye Oh, I'm happy for you Know that I am, even if I Can't understand If happy is Him,I'm happy for you.