O_O NO! ARE YOU INSANE? WRITING A FIC LOOSELY BASED ON A FILM YOU'VE NEVER
SEEN? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?
(I was bored)
Oh sure it had seemed like a good idea at the time.
"Happy Birthday Suguru-chan! You're legally old enough to drink in Australia now! Wanna get drunk?"
They had to ask?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
And 12 hours later Suguru woke with a 90% circulation loss on his right side and a splitting headache, in a Tokyo Love Hotel. Opening his eyes groggily he slowly focussed on his own left hand and the pale gold band on his finger.
Oh crap.
Uncle Touma had warned him about fans that'd get you real drunk and marry you. Now he'd have to listen to I-told-you-so's for the next 20 years.
Hehehe.
On the plus side, it meant he got laid!
She was petite - he could tell from the outline of the bedsheets. Cautiously he pulled back the sheet to see just what kind of cutie playing keyboards for Bad Luck could pick up.
Kawaiiiii! She had the cutest pink hair!
Wait a second. . .
"OH DEAR GOD NOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Suguru pulling himself out of Shuichi's vice-like 'embrace'.
The consequence of which was making Suguru's head hurt even more (and here he'd thought that wasn't possible) and waking his 'wife'.
"Wha'smatter Y'ki?" Mumbled Shuichi sleepily, before rolling over and falling back to sleep.
"NO!" Screamed Suguru again, "If I have to deal with this, so do you!" Finding their 'marriage' certificate on a conveniently placed table he shoved it in Shuichi's face.
Shuichi looked at it non-comprehending. Finally he read it.
"I wan' a divorce." Managed Shuichi solemnly, several minutes later when his brain finally interpreted the text. The extreme stress of the deduction in its current state of hung-overedness caused Shuichi to slump into the mattress again.
"It's okay! Nobody ever needs to find out about this!" Wheezed Suguru starting to hyperventilate. "Do you remember anything about last night?"
"I got real real drunk." Giggled Shuichi darkly. The juxtaposition with the ultra-genki Shuichi that Suguru usually associated with was just freaky. "I'm not suppose'ta do that. . . " Giggle. "I do stupid things when I'm drun. . ." Shuichi stopped. Thought. Examined the marriage certificate. "Aw crap. Not again."
"Again?" Squeaked Suguru.
"Er. . . I said I'm in pain. My head aches." Oh yeah. Reading that rhyming dictionary when he was trying to write songs had saved his life yet again.
Suguru looked skeptical.
"Yuki's gonna kill me!" Whined Shuichi changing the subject. "No! He's gonna laugh at me! He'll laugh at me, then throw me out, then I'll just die from being miserable! DIE!"
"Calm down Shuichi!" Yelled Suguru, grabbing Shuichi by the shoulders and pulling him away from the window which he'd intended to throw himself out of. "Read my lips. YUKI. DOESN'T. NEED. TO. FIND. OUT."
"Demo. . . Not telling Yuki. . . That would be. . . dishonest." Suguru nodded. Shuichi at least seemed to be processing this new strategy. "I like it!" He gave a distinctly evil grin. "Fujisaki-kun. . ?" He asked softly, with heavy eyelids, and Suguru was reminded he was holding a naked Shuichi while he himself was in a similar state of disdress.
"Yes Shuichi?" Shu was in complete shoujo-mode now, and Suguru was forced to admit to himself that he could see how a guy (like himself for example) may be attracted to him (if say, he had been extremely drunk - which he had been).
"Was I sem-urk!" Suguru slapped his hand over Shuichi's mouth to stall the question.
"Don't even think about it! It never happened!" He snapped angrily. "Get dressed!" He wordlessly tossed Shuichi the wedding dress, which Shuichi looked at distastefully.
"What was I thinking?" Moaned Shuichi examining the dress. "This isn't my style at all! Seeded Pearls! Ugh. I must have been drunk or something." Giggle. "Oh yeah. . ."
Groaning Suguru pulled on his overly large tux while Shuichi struggled with the dress.
"It's a bit tight." Muttered Shuichi.
Oh crap.
God sakes! Please! Just this once let Shuichi be his normal oblivious self and not figure it out! I swear I'll never drink again! Just don't let him. . . !
"OHO!"
There is no god.
~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~
"Pull it down further, we don't want anyone to recognize us." Snickered Shuichi, referring to the veil.
"I swear Shindo, if anyone recognizes me, you won't live long enough to regret it."
"You're so cuuuuute when you're angry." Beamed Shuichi.
"I will kill you. KILL you." Scowled Suguru. "Where's the car?"
Shuichi spared Suguru an extra-confused look (it had to be an 'extra' one since a normal one would have been redundant since everything was confusing when one had a severe case of alcohol poisoning).
"I dunno." Shrugged Shuichi.
"Let me rephrase that, where is my Uncle Touma's car? You know Touma right? Our boss?"
"Still dunno." Shrugged Shuichi. "Maybe you left it at Hiro's place?"
"Hiro's?"
Shuichi opened to the relevant page in the wedding album pointing to a picture of a rather inebriated Hiro. Oh Gawwwwwd! Was there anyone that wasn't party to this utter humiliation?
"Or maybe K . . ." Shuichi flipped a few more pages.
Obviously not . . .
"Who do you think we should ask first?"
(I was bored)
Oh sure it had seemed like a good idea at the time.
"Happy Birthday Suguru-chan! You're legally old enough to drink in Australia now! Wanna get drunk?"
They had to ask?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
And 12 hours later Suguru woke with a 90% circulation loss on his right side and a splitting headache, in a Tokyo Love Hotel. Opening his eyes groggily he slowly focussed on his own left hand and the pale gold band on his finger.
Oh crap.
Uncle Touma had warned him about fans that'd get you real drunk and marry you. Now he'd have to listen to I-told-you-so's for the next 20 years.
Hehehe.
On the plus side, it meant he got laid!
She was petite - he could tell from the outline of the bedsheets. Cautiously he pulled back the sheet to see just what kind of cutie playing keyboards for Bad Luck could pick up.
Kawaiiiii! She had the cutest pink hair!
Wait a second. . .
"OH DEAR GOD NOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Suguru pulling himself out of Shuichi's vice-like 'embrace'.
The consequence of which was making Suguru's head hurt even more (and here he'd thought that wasn't possible) and waking his 'wife'.
"Wha'smatter Y'ki?" Mumbled Shuichi sleepily, before rolling over and falling back to sleep.
"NO!" Screamed Suguru again, "If I have to deal with this, so do you!" Finding their 'marriage' certificate on a conveniently placed table he shoved it in Shuichi's face.
Shuichi looked at it non-comprehending. Finally he read it.
"I wan' a divorce." Managed Shuichi solemnly, several minutes later when his brain finally interpreted the text. The extreme stress of the deduction in its current state of hung-overedness caused Shuichi to slump into the mattress again.
"It's okay! Nobody ever needs to find out about this!" Wheezed Suguru starting to hyperventilate. "Do you remember anything about last night?"
"I got real real drunk." Giggled Shuichi darkly. The juxtaposition with the ultra-genki Shuichi that Suguru usually associated with was just freaky. "I'm not suppose'ta do that. . . " Giggle. "I do stupid things when I'm drun. . ." Shuichi stopped. Thought. Examined the marriage certificate. "Aw crap. Not again."
"Again?" Squeaked Suguru.
"Er. . . I said I'm in pain. My head aches." Oh yeah. Reading that rhyming dictionary when he was trying to write songs had saved his life yet again.
Suguru looked skeptical.
"Yuki's gonna kill me!" Whined Shuichi changing the subject. "No! He's gonna laugh at me! He'll laugh at me, then throw me out, then I'll just die from being miserable! DIE!"
"Calm down Shuichi!" Yelled Suguru, grabbing Shuichi by the shoulders and pulling him away from the window which he'd intended to throw himself out of. "Read my lips. YUKI. DOESN'T. NEED. TO. FIND. OUT."
"Demo. . . Not telling Yuki. . . That would be. . . dishonest." Suguru nodded. Shuichi at least seemed to be processing this new strategy. "I like it!" He gave a distinctly evil grin. "Fujisaki-kun. . ?" He asked softly, with heavy eyelids, and Suguru was reminded he was holding a naked Shuichi while he himself was in a similar state of disdress.
"Yes Shuichi?" Shu was in complete shoujo-mode now, and Suguru was forced to admit to himself that he could see how a guy (like himself for example) may be attracted to him (if say, he had been extremely drunk - which he had been).
"Was I sem-urk!" Suguru slapped his hand over Shuichi's mouth to stall the question.
"Don't even think about it! It never happened!" He snapped angrily. "Get dressed!" He wordlessly tossed Shuichi the wedding dress, which Shuichi looked at distastefully.
"What was I thinking?" Moaned Shuichi examining the dress. "This isn't my style at all! Seeded Pearls! Ugh. I must have been drunk or something." Giggle. "Oh yeah. . ."
Groaning Suguru pulled on his overly large tux while Shuichi struggled with the dress.
"It's a bit tight." Muttered Shuichi.
Oh crap.
God sakes! Please! Just this once let Shuichi be his normal oblivious self and not figure it out! I swear I'll never drink again! Just don't let him. . . !
"OHO!"
There is no god.
~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~
"Pull it down further, we don't want anyone to recognize us." Snickered Shuichi, referring to the veil.
"I swear Shindo, if anyone recognizes me, you won't live long enough to regret it."
"You're so cuuuuute when you're angry." Beamed Shuichi.
"I will kill you. KILL you." Scowled Suguru. "Where's the car?"
Shuichi spared Suguru an extra-confused look (it had to be an 'extra' one since a normal one would have been redundant since everything was confusing when one had a severe case of alcohol poisoning).
"I dunno." Shrugged Shuichi.
"Let me rephrase that, where is my Uncle Touma's car? You know Touma right? Our boss?"
"Still dunno." Shrugged Shuichi. "Maybe you left it at Hiro's place?"
"Hiro's?"
Shuichi opened to the relevant page in the wedding album pointing to a picture of a rather inebriated Hiro. Oh Gawwwwwd! Was there anyone that wasn't party to this utter humiliation?
"Or maybe K . . ." Shuichi flipped a few more pages.
Obviously not . . .
"Who do you think we should ask first?"