A/N: Sorry I haven't been updating for a while now. I've just been very busy with school and I'm finding it hard to get time to sit down and finish chapters like I did before. Don't worry; they'll be up soon, it'll just take a little more time.
And I have no idea where this one-shot came from. I just hadn't written Jason and Zaina for a while now, and I didn't feel like writing "Don't Look Back". Also, I started thinking about what Zaina would feel if she met her birth mother (who's actually dead by this time due to unknown reasons) and had a conversation with her. I also started thinking about what Jason would do if he found that Zaina is in the danger of dying. SO, this small one-shot is the result of it. In this story, Zaina and Jason do have adventures which they get pulled into (unintentionally). It takes place just a couple of months after "Don't Look Back", so they're still sixteen years old. Originally intended to be a three-part one-shot, I cut it down since I had absolutely no idea what to write.
So, hope you guys enjoy this. It took me a long time write it.
Disclaimer: I don't own YJ.
Not Alone
It's on fire.
The house actually set itself on fire.
He thought that they were joking when they said that the house was flammable. He thought that since they were villains, they wouldn't set themselves right, even after all these years. He never even expected them to be right. Never expected the house to suddenly flame up. Never expected cries to be coming out.
He especially never expected Zaina to hear the baby and dive right in.
He's been calling out her name for at least five minutes now. Dick and his dad managed to rescue the baby, but there's absolutely no sign of her. He can feel the dread filling his chest. He can't help that he's breathing heavily by now. He's getting really worried for her. If anything happened to her, he'd never forgive himself, that's for sure. Most of it being that she was too young for something to happen to her, but he suspects that part of it is also because of what he told her before they left the house on a crazy idea.
He'd never forgive himself if he's unable to apologize to her at any cost.
He can see the flames around the house become smaller and reduce their reach for the stars. Unconsciously, he bites his lip, thinking about his best friend's state. He desperately prays for her to be alright, for her to walk out of there without a scratch on her, for her to sarcastically tick him off for worrying so much about her.
You're an idiot. You actually thought I'd be unable to handle myself out there?
He can almost hear her voice in his head, telling him what a big doofus he was. He lets out a small smile as he thinks about it.
Suddenly, his eyes catch something in the fire. It's a figure, coming out. His heart almost falls out of his chest as he recognizes that figure.
It's Dick.
But what's got him worried is the form that was being carried by him. His eyes widen as he realizes who it is. Even from this distance, there's no mistaking that hair, splayed out and a bit singed at the ends. And there's definitely no mistaking that face.
It's Zaina.
"It wasn't good when we found her." Wally says.
Dick sighs. "We found her a lot of burning wreckage. She had a lot of burns all over her, and was unconscious."
"So, how's she now?" Zatanna asks.
"Not very good." Dick says, feeling his heart almost about to explode. "The doctors say she's in a coma. The only problem is that they have no idea when she'll ever wake."
Artemis puts her head down. "She shouldn't be going through this." She says.
"What?" Dick asks, turning his head to her.
"Zaina shouldn't be in a coma like this." Artemis says. "She should be out there, living her life, not stuck in a mental prison." Before she knows it, her tears start pouring out as she cries for the young girl. Zatanna puts her arm around her best friend, crying with her.
"Still, I don't think we're the ones experiencing the worst of it." Wally says.
"What do you mean?" Dick inquires.
"We all know there's someone here who's really going through a hard phase right now." Wally says.
"Jason." Artemis guesses. Wally simply nods.
The only thing that's on her mind right now is that everything hurts like hell. She forces her eyes to open despite the pain, and is surprised to find herself in a room.
Zaina narrows her eyes at the scene around her. She's definitely in a room, there's no doubting that. The only thing surprising her is that the room is completely white, and there's no sign of a door or even a window. She looks to her left and sees a small mirror on the wall. She begins to wonder how on earth she ended up here. She distinctly remembers pushing the baby out of the way and suddenly feeling a lot of burning wreckage fall on her and feeling her skin burn. Something suddenly strikes her as she pulls the sleeve of her purple hoodie up to see if her skin is burnt. What she sees surprises her more.
There's no burn.
She can literally feel the worry filling up in her chest. There's like a million questions floating around in her head at the moment, and she has no idea what to do.
She knows that she'd do anything for this nightmare to stop.
Seriously, she's just hoping that all this is just a dream. That she had too much for dinner and the burning house was just a figment of her imagination. That sooner or later she'd wake up in her bed and nothing would have changed. She quickly swallows and looks around, praying that she was just a bit loopy from all the helium she had accidently inhaled while setting up for the school dance two days ago. She looks towards the mirror and finds that it's been replaced with a door.
She's extremely wary of that door. Sure, it's just a door. But, who knows what she might find on the other side. If this place really is her mind, she's scared to open that door. It might be her road to never waking up again. And she's not sure that she's ready to die yet.
On second thoughts, if this is her mind, she's starting to wonder what on earth goes on in her head.
(She's sure she has more sense of color than this.)
Jason runs a hand through his blond bangs, trying to get the picture of his best friend lying on a bed, different tubes and wires attached to her.
Honestly, he hates seeing her like that. She's the strongest person he knows, even more than his dad. Seriously, she's the one who taught him to stand up for himself. She's the one who taught him to conquer his fears. And she definitely taught him how to put other people in front of you when they went back in time and she helped him save his father even when it put her very own existence at risk. He still finds it hard that she was that selfless when she was told that she could have never been born.
Anyway, she had been his inspiration for a lot of things. According to him, she's the reason that they're where they are, making music and following their dreams.
"Jason?"
He looks up to see his mother in front of him, giving him a sympathetic look. He can see that she probably has no idea what he's going through but is still trying to be there for her son. "Any news of her?" he asks.
She looks down, avoiding his eyes for the fraction of a second. "Jason, the doctors were able to stop the pains and burns on her body, but she's still stuck in a coma. If she continues to be like this, she might even…" she lets the sentence trail off.
His eyes widen. "It…it…that…can't…happen." He stammers. "She'll…make it."
She puts a hand on his shoulder. "I know it's hard for you, Jason. It's hard for everyone." She says in a soothing voice. "You're not the only one feeling the emptiness."
She presses a kiss to his forehead before going back to her husband, who had been watching the exchange without blinking. Once he sees that his son was taking it well (as well as they hoped), he turns back to the raven-haired man beside him and continues to soothe him through his daughter's death.
Once the adults are out of sight, Jason leans back with his back against the wall and slides down to the floor. He pulls his knees to his chest and crosses his arms above them, using his knees as a support while he rests his chin on them. He lets his eyes wander into the distance. He doesn't even care how he looks right now, sitting with his back against the wall on the hospital floor. All he can think of is losing the one person he trusts with anything and everything.
Gathering the courage, she puts her hand on the doorknob and opens the door, tightly closing her eyes and waiting for the blackness of death to overcome her. But, surprisingly, nothing happens.
She slowly opens her eyes to see that she's in a corridor. A white corridor, to be exact.
"What's with me and white?" she exasperatedly asks into the air.
"That's a question only you can answer, my dear." A voice behind her says.
Zaina whips around to see a woman in her mid-thirties standing there. She's around her dad's age, and is dressed in a pair of dark denim jeans, a dark brown shirt with a black leather jacket over the shirt. But what has Zaina transfixed about her appearance is the woman's dark auburn hair and soft brown eyes. She looks really familiar in a way.
"Who are you?" Zaina asks her out loud, hoping that no suspicions gave themselves away.
The woman laughs. "I never thought you'd forget me." She grins. "But, you were only a baby when you last saw me."
"Are you like, one of my dad's 'friends' or something?" Zaina asks. This leads to the woman laughing louder.
"Yes, I am one of your dad's 'friends'." She says. "One of his old flings, actually. The surprising thing was, there never really was any love in that. And I wouldn't really consider what we had a 'fling'. He stayed with me for a few months after his friend died, and until he controlled his feelings for the magician he had a huge crush on."
"How do you know about that?" Zaina asks a bit snappishly.
"I'm a psychic, Zaina." The woman says, walking around her to stand in front of the young girl. "I know what you and your friend Jason did. You altered the timeline to change the past so that Jason could have a father. That was really brave of you, Zaina. Especially since there was the danger that you might have never been born."
"How…?" Zaina asks.
"I could remember two time streams." The woman continues. "I had no idea what to do when your dad and I started sleeping together, but didn't love each other. Guess I should have known that breakup was coming when he took my hand that morning and told me that he still had feelings for someone else. I was fairly surprised since I remembered him telling me that he was hurting me too much. Honestly, little did I know that a new life was made in the process."
The words spin in her head before it finally clicks.
"Mom?"
"Jason?"
He looks up from his spot to see Dick standing there. The man has a forlorn expression on his face. Well, it wasn't surprising. He just found out that his daughter practically sacrificed her life for someone she didn't even know. That takes a lot out of a father. Especially one who spent his entire life working towards saving lives, only to end up losing the one life he cared about the most. Jason scrambles up to his feet and offers a small greeting.
"Um, why're you with me anyway?" Jason asks.
Dick sighs. "The doctors say that there's a very slim chance that she'll make it." He explains. "They say its better we say our goodbyes now, before we regret it."
Jason simply looks at the ground. Dick puts a hand on the boy's shoulder. "We're letting the people closest to her talk to her first. I already said what I wanted to say. It's your turn, Jason."
He looks up and the black-haired man nods at him, giving him a look that says that he knows what Jason's going through. He was after all, Zaina's father. He had been with her practically her entire life, from birth onwards. Jason gives him a small smile and walks past him to the room.
He stands at the door, staring at the form laid out on the bed. She has bandages wrapped around her arms as well as one around her forehead like a makeshift bandana. The white covers are pulled up to her chest, exposing a part of her purple hoodie, which has its sleeves pulled up. She also has various wires attached to her body and a few tubes attached to various drips. He can't help it, but seeing her in this state makes him clench his fists.
After a few minutes, he gathers the courage and goes over to her. Pulling up a chair, he simply looks at her. Her face has a small look of anguish in it, like she had been pained when the wreckage hit her (wouldn't it?). He reflects on all the times they shared, good and bad.
"You can't die." He blurts out. "It's too soon, Zen. You can't just leave us. You're only sixteen. There's a whole life ahead of you. You've got your friends, family, and many other people who need you right now. I need you right now." He admits to her. "You can't go, not now."
He sighs. "I don't know whether you can hear me or not." He says. "But I'm not going to accept that you're dead. I won't accept that."
He places a hand on the bed, close to her clenched palm. "But, wherever you are, please come back. Because there's a lot of things I haven't told you, and I am not going to say them on your deathbed. There's too much to hold in, and I'd like to tell you all about them while you're alive."
He slowly puts a finger on her palm and traces a scar, a scar that he had accidently given her when they were seven. "A lot of people'll lose you if you die. Dick'll lose an amazing daughter; and so will Zatanna. Maria'll lose a big sister. My parents'll lose an amazing potential niece. Irey and Jai'll lose a good role-model. Kim'll lose a good friend and that extra push of confidence she needs." He removes his finger. "And mostly, I'll lose my best friend, and I'm not ready for saying goodbye."
He moves his hand away from hers. "You know I'm not good at many things, like bowling, Math, homework, and saying goodbye to the ones closest to me. You know me like the back of your hand. So, you'll probably know how much I'm struggling right now."
He clasps her hand and holds it with both of his. "So, please, whatever you do, please don't make me say goodbye to you."
That's the last things he manages to say before his voice chokes up, and his eyes fill with tears. He never cried, and she knows that. But, he'll make an exception this time. His body's overcome with emotion as he puts his head down, leaning his forehead against his folded hands that were holding his best friend's. He keeps repeating his prayers as the tears escape from his eyes. He can barely register the silent plops that occur as a few of his tears hit the floor.
"So, if you're here, am I dead?" Zaina asks.
Her mother shakes her head. "You're not dead, not yet, at least." She says, walking over to the wall and placing a hand on it. "That's a choice you'll have to make, by yourself."
"What choice?" Zaina almost yells. "I'm stuck in a stupid white world after getting hit with burning wreckage. I'm as good as dead."
"People have survived burning wreckage." Jessica says. "You could be one of them."
"How?" Zaina asks. "There's no way out. And even if I made it back, for what? Just to have something happen to me so that I'm stuck in another coma? No thank you. I'd rather just spend my days in this white nightmare."
"I'm afraid you can't do that, Zen." Jessica says. "You'll have to make a choice."
"I've fought so hard." Zaina says, going through her entire life. Something suddenly strikes her. "But, for what?"
"Hm?" Jessica asks.
"I've been fighting for so long, for what?" Zaina asks. "It's not like I've had anything back in return for everything I do. So, why continue? Why keep fighting?"
Jessica sighs and walks over to her daughter. "You know the reason I'm in your head right now? It's because you called me here, for some reason. You needed me. And I can tell you, from personal experience, that even if it may feel tiring, you need to keep fighting." She holds her daughter by her shoulders. "You have a family; a father and stepmother who love you, a sister who idolizes you, and friends who really care about you. You have an amazing life to live, and I suggest you live it. Think of the people you love. What would they think if you left them now?"
Zaina looks down. "I…never thought about that."
"I'll bet you didn't." Jessica jokes. "I never did myself, for a long time. That's why I'm telling you now, before you make the same mistakes I made. Live your life to its fullest. Never stop to think for one second that you need to stop. The world is huge, and if you ever feel like you don't know your place, it'll come to you, somehow." She smiles at her daughter. "Now go back to that amazing family of yours."
Zaina nods, a smile lighting up her face as she understands what her birth mother is trying to convey. "I will."
Behind Jessica, the seemingly endless corridor suddenly lights up, inviting her back into the world of the living. She turns to her mother. "Will I never see you again?" Jessica shakes her head. "No, I'm afraid not." "But, I have so many questions…" Zaina starts when Jessica places a hand on her daughter's cheek. "Don't let any of those questions bother you. You're a sweet, beautiful and talented young woman that I never knew my daughter could ever become. I'm glad that I got to see you this one time." She wipes the single tear that escapes Zaina's eye. "At least I know he's done an amazing job with you."
"I'm glad I saw you too." Zaina says, throwing her arms around the woman, knowing that this would be the very last time she would see the person who had given birth to her.
"Oh, just one thing." Jessica says, pulling away and placing a couple of fingers on her bangs. "Those side swept bangs look amazing on you."
Zaina feels like the smile on her face might just tear her face apart. Smiling at her mother, she turns and starts to walk towards the light. She takes a few steps and stops, turning back. "He loved you."
"What?" Jessica asks, looking up.
"My dad." Zaina says. "He really loved you, but just didn't know it."
"Any reason for why you'd come to that conclusion?" Jessica grins.
"The way he talked about you." Zaina explains. "The simple way he talks about you and says your name is enough for anyone to know that he actually loved you." She smiles. "I think that seeing you one last time would be enough for him."
Jessica smiles. "Thanks for telling me that, Zen. I can see why he was so proud of you."
Zaina smiles at her and turns back. She takes a deep breath and starts running towards the white. It's not long before it engulfs her and everything turns white. She actually makes a mental note to do something about all the white.
Dick puts a hand on his head, thinking about his daughter. Sure, he already said what he wanted to say to her, but that would never be a substitute to telling her when she was alive. And all he can think of is how it was his entire fault. He can't help thinking that it was Wally all over again.
Suddenly, a doctor comes up to him. "Mr. Grayson?"
Dick nods. "Yes?"
"You're Zaina Grayson's father, aren't you?" the doctor asks.
Dick feels the irritation fill up inside him. "Yes, I am. What's the problem?" He half expects the doctor to tell him that his daughter has just passed away.
"She's awake."
He can hardly hear anything else as he takes off for Zaina's room.
Jason paces around in circles when he hears somebody coming up. He looks up to see his father running over to him.
"Dad? What's wrong?" he asks.
"It's Zaina." His father says. "She's awake."
"She's awake?!" Jason yells.
He whips around and begins to run.
He peers inside her room to see Dick sitting with her, talking to her in a low voice. His face lights up to see her sitting and talking happily to her father. Dick leans forward to tell her something when she shifts her head a bit and catches him staring at them. Dick pulls away and gives him a smile, pressing his lips to her forehead before standing up and walks out the door, placing a hand on the blond boy's shoulder before leaving them both alone.
He steps inside and pulls himself into the chair. He doesn't know why, but he can't think of anything to say.
"I'm surprised you took that long." Zaina tells him.
"Well, I only found out like a few minutes ago." He says. "How long have you been up?"
"About an hour, I think." She says.
He smiles and they stay that way for a while, just enjoying the silence. Or at least until he works up the courage and forms some words in his head. "So, when you were under, could you hear anything?" he asks, thinking that it was the best to start off with.
She shakes her head. "No, I couldn't."
He sighs. "That's good. 'Cause I actually wasn't able to say anything good."
"What did you say then?" she asks.
"I just told you not to die, because I couldn't handle saying bye to you forever." He admits.
"Well, luckily I didn't take the decision to die, or I wouldn't have the chance to hear what you had to say." She says.
He nods. "I'm actually glad that you're awake. Because if you weren't, I wouldn't have the chance to tell you that you're the best friend anyone could ever ask for."
"Thanks, you too." She tells him.
"So, what was it like in there?" he asks.
"I'll tell you one thing. I need to do something about all that white up there."
A/N: Hope you liked it, guys. This is what happens when I listen to extremely depressing music when I'm writing.
Please review.