Fading
-t.r.h-
She's wounded and she is asking him to let her stay.
They are pressed together behind an abandoned wagon, the sounds of the battle raging around them a deafening roar in their ears. Bodies of the dead and dying surround them, and in each face contorted with pain, he sees her future should he do what she is asking of him.
Her eyes flutter closed before she realizes and once she does, she immediately tries to snap them back open. She only succeeds in lifting them enough that he can see the determination in her gaze and fear grips his chest like he's never felt it before.
She's fading, and still she pleads with him to leave her.
His fingers dig into the wounds on her shoulders as he shakes her, desperate for her to see sense. "Are you insane?!" he asks, and she smiles, the action ruined by the trickle of blood that runs down her chin from the corner of her mouth.
A dry chuckle escapes from her parted lips, and he is appalled that even now, she is amused. "You've always thought so, haven't you?"
-i-
They stand together around their makeshift table, and frown collectively.
"There's just so many." Katara stares at the maps through narrowed eyes, as if willing the depicted soldiers away would make it so. She raises her eyes from the maps to look across the stone slab they'd used as a makeshift table, finding Aang's gaze. "How many do we have?"
"Five hundred, give or take." His tone is solemn, because they all know that five hundred is less than a fourth of the troops headed their way. Zuko exhales beside her and Katara brings a finger up to her mouth to bite at her nail. It's a habit she'd had as a child, and it only resurfaced when she thought something was futile but is trying to figure it out anyway. Aang sees this and his frown deepens.
"Five hundred..." She says under her breath, gnawing on her nail furiously. At this moment, the flap of their tent is pushed urgently aside and her brother, trailed by Toph, stumble into the tent, both speaking fervently in between panted breaths.
From what Katara can ascertain through the chaos of the both of them going on at once, they do not have much time.
The air is suddenly charged with adrenaline, and Katara immediately moves to check both the new arrivals for injuries. Zuko leans onto the table, fixing Aang with a pointed stare. "Azula won't be with them."
His voice is grave, and heavy with the underlying implications. Aang understands; he nods as he rises, brushing dirt from his tunic and looks at Zuko with eyes that twinkle with his own brand of determination. "We'll just have to stay alive then."
- -
There is so much he wants to say, but he doesn't know how. He doesn't know if telling her how much he wishes she would flee would offend her, or if telling her he only wants her safe (and with him) will only confuse her.
They have only a few hours and he curses his inability to act above the teenager that he is, angry that he isn't old enough or wise enough to simply tell her what he wants, to know if it's what she wants as well.
He wishes his uncle is still with him (because he would know what to say, and what do), but then is at the same time thankful that he is not, because should his uncle, the last person on this earth who Zuko knows without a doubt cares for him, go into this battle and perish, Zuko knows that he would not be far behind.
So he watches her, sitting on the dirt beneath a tree, fumbling with the bandages on her forearm. Healer she may be, but she has next to no skill with bandaging and he wonders why she even bothers. Her eyebrows are drawn together in a pensive expression and Zuko honestly can't tell if it's anxiety about the upcoming battle or frustration at her inability to tie a simple bandage that's making her frown.
He can't help but grin a little bit at her; he still doesn't know what to say, so he moves to sit cross-legged in front of her, scooting forward until their knees are touching. She looks up at him in surprise but allows him to take her arm into his hands, resigning to simply watching as he unwraps and rewraps it.
He's readying her for a battle he wishes more than anything she would not fight. He is suddenly angry (at himself) and she flinches when he pulls a layer too tightly.
Stopping himself, he bows his head and takes two deep breaths before continuing with a mumbled apology, this time almost painstakingly gentle.
He sees out of the corner of his eye as she relaxes, settling against the tree behind her and watches him. He can feel her gaze; it's distracting in its intensity.
It is a great effort to ignore it as he finishes but he does, raising her arm to tie off the bandage with his teeth. He lets her arm drop almost reluctantly, not taking his eyes off the slim fingers as they come to rest on their joined knees.
"I don't want you here." It's calm, revealing no hint of his inner turmoil. Zuko doesn't know why he's said it, only that he's been thinking it ever since they'd discovered the troops coming their way and it just seemed appropriate to say it now.
He hears her sigh. Her hand disappears from his line of vision and he looks up to find her standing, brushing the dirt from her tunic. He's afraid he's done exactly what he'd been fearful of; that she'd taken it the wrong way, but then she looks at him and there's sadness in her eyes. "I know."
He wants to tell her to stay behind, to wait for him to keep her safe, and he can think of a thousand excuses to use. But he doesn't want to tell her the why of it, (not when he barely knows himself), and this alone keeps him from speaking as she disappears into the forest.
- -
She gazes into the water, willing it to give her the answers to this life they're leading. It has always responded to her call but tonight the water holds no reassurance for her.
Katara rocks back on her heels, gazing up into the moon. She wonders if her brother is seeking answers of his own, and if tonight, Yue is answering his call. A breeze sends stray strands of hair into her eyes and though the night is warm, her skin prickles with goose-bumps. Something is in the air and her stomach turns uncomfortably at the feeling.
Turning away from the water, Katara sets off back towards their camp, seeking the company of the friends who'd become her family. Though she seeks one in particular because this may very well be their last night in this life and she doesn't want to see it wasted.
She hopes Sokka is not alone, and hopes that Toph is with him because she knows the feelings the younger girl harbors for her brother. Even if he feels only friendship for her, Katara thinks it would be good for them to spend their last night together and she can picture them sitting side by side until dawn in companionable silence, skipping rocks on the glassy surface of the pond.
She worries for Aang, because as much as she wants to make everyone happy, she has herself to think about (for once) and cannot bring herself to spend this night with him. There are others here, old friends and acquaintances, and she hopes desperately that he finds solace with one of them.
She's reached his tent by now and pulls aside the flap without hesitation. The time for that has passed, long ago, and now she knows only that she wants to spend this time with him.
They haven't defined whatever this thing is between them, but as she lowers herself to sit on his bedroll, backs touching as they support each other's weight, she decides that not all things need be defined and that she can settle for whatever he'll give her, because they simply don't have time
She says nothing when he takes her hand and he stays silent when she threads her fingers through his. They know that sleep will not find them, not on this night, and they are content to bask in each other's presence until dawn breaks and their world falls apart.
-ii-
"Katara, stop this!" He puts as much conviction and authority as he can muster into the command, hands coming up to cup her face, forcing her to meet his gaze.
Her smile is suddenly gone and she shoves at him with more strength than he expects. Her eyes, just moments ago clouded with pain, are now clear as the ocean she adores so much, and just as angry.
"I can do this, Zuko. Let. Me. Go."
The ferocity of her voice is dulled somewhat by pain, but there nonetheless and he matches it with the intensity of his glare as he reaches for her wrists, grasping them tightly enough to prevent further movement. "No."
She screams in his face, hers twisted in rage. It is an unholy screech, a mixture of pain, frustration, and despair. Tears crawl down her cheeks as she spits in his face, and he is stunned because he has never seen her this desperate, not even during the years when they were on opposite sides of the battlefield.
She folds in on herself suddenly with a sharp intake of breath, and they collapse to their knees as one. Blood seeps between the fingers pressed to her side. She lets her head hang and her hair covers her face, hiding from him her emotions.
"You were right," she pants, her breathing labored, but her voice oddly blank. "Aang must live through this battle."
He stays silent because she is speaking and everything in his being is willing him to listen.
"I'm going to die," He begins to protest at this, placing a firm hand to the side of her face. She turns into his touch, eyes fluttering closed briefly before opening to lock gazes with him. "I'm going to die, so let me do this."
Zuko watches as she stands without his help, because he knows that's the way she wants it. His hand falls away from her face, fingers immediately curling into a loose fist. She pauses, just for a moment, looking out upon the warring soldiers, before allowing him one last glance.
"I can save you." Let me save you.
AN: This has been sitting on my hard drive for a long time and I've been tweaking it for the better part of a month. I finally just decided to leave it be and post the darn thing. It's nothing much, just sort of an idea that I rambled into a one-shot. It's my first attempt at an Avatar fic though, and seeing as how I'm a bit new to the fandom, I apologize if it's cliché. I do hope someone liked it a bit though, and if you can find mistakes let me know too; I'm always trying to improve, so feedback of any type is much appreciated:D
-t.r.h