Disclaimer: I do not own Fairytail
Warnings: I am perfectly aware that this is not how trials work probably in any world. This fic is purely for laughs and squeals. Total fluff, but there's some plot I guess. If you're here looking for a serious fic please do not read any further. This is purely for light-happy feelings and people who want to read happy fics. If you're not here for that turn back, if you are, please enjoy,
Chapter title: Of Stereotypes, Perfect Outfits, and Romantic Schemes
"You are going to court, so unless you want to get thrown in prison for the rest of your life, you're going to have to seem as innocent as possible." Lucy dictated wagging her finger and pacing in front of the two boys. They were both exhausted from walking around different stores with several outfits so that Lucy could find "the perfect outfit." She stared with scrutiny at Natsu Dragneel. "Red. I think red is your color." She said finally.
"Why can't I just wear what I have?"
"Because it's not in style. Skinny jeans are."
"There is no way I'm dressing like Gray." Natsu said, glaring at Lucy with all his might. Lucy rolled her eyes.
"I was just thinking you might like a different outfit once in a while. But this isn't about you anyway." Lucy said. "It's about him." Lucy said, glancing at the other boy, whom, unlike his younger counter part was sitting straight with his hands folded. "And sit up straighter!" she scolded Natsu. Natsu moaned pathetically and slid down further, his arms spread lazily across the sitting area. Lucy glared at him and searched some more through pants and shirts. She stared at all of them in disgust and started to cry dramatically when she couldn't find "the perfect outfit". The boys, however, didn't care anymore, and secretly, Zeref would rather go to prison than go through another store and listen to a dramatic Lucy. Suddenly, she stopped crying and gasped. She'd never done this before. Lucy surged up from her pathetic and odd position on the floor and practically flew to a rack with more shirts. Zeref nor Natsu had any knowledge of why she had stopped her dramatic display of misery. She practically skipped back over holding black pants and blue, long-sleeved shirt.
"What is it?" Natsu asked, mildly creeped out at the look on her face. Lucy rolled her eyes and waved the outfit in front of him as if it held the answer to his questions. "What?" she sighed in exasperation.
"This is the outfit!" she squealed and thrusted it violently into his hands. Zeref sighed and went with a depressed face into the dressing room. This wasn't the first time Lucy had found "the perfect outfit". When Zeref came out Lucy's face soured. "Look happy." She commanded. Natsu looked at his best friend in astonishment. According to the laws of nature someone couldn't be happy just because someone commanded it. Especially not the evilest wizard on earth, whom looked oddly like he was playing a boy-next-door kind of role. Zeref managed to force a smile at which Lucy rolled her eyes. It looked so forced it was ridiculous. She walked over and scrutinized the outfit as she had done with every other one. She tapped her chin and gave a once over at her attempt to make the black wizard look young and innocent. She really hadn't had to try too hard, but something was missing. She rolled up the sleeves, so they only reached his elbows. A large smile enveloped her face. "Perfect!" she cheered.
"I don't understand. What did you do?" Natsu asked.
"I rolled up the sleeves."
"How does that make a difference?"
"It just does!" Lucy shouted with a glare.
"What's with your face?" Natsu asked. Lucy blinked at him. she looked kind of like a lizard in Natsu's opinion.
"Do you want to die?" she finally asked.
"No ma'am!" Natsu said quickly. Angry Lucy was not a good Lucy.
"Can we go now?" Zeref spoke for the first time that day. Lucy rolled her eyes and stared at him as if the boy with probably the highest IQ in the world was the stupidest person on Earthland.
"Of course not." She said mater-of-factly. Zeref and Natsu groaned. "Now you need a girlfriend."
"No, I don't."
"Of course, you do."
"But who would ever like him?" Natsu asked bluntly. Both Lucy and Zeref glared at him. a terrifying prospect indeed. Natsu chuckled nervously as Lucy said.
"Me! Who else? I fit the role of the girl next door perfectly." She said and tossed her shiny blonde hair over her shoulder and gave a blinding white smile. "See?"
"I always thought of you more as the stupid mean-girl." Natsu said. Lucy glared angrily.
"Shut up." She muttered and ran off to find "the perfect outfit." And she found it, many stores later. If Zeref hadn't been immortal he would already be dead. And Natsu… was dead. He moaned on the place to sit down as Lucy searched for shoes. Finally, she found it. She shrieked and ran to put them on. When she stood her outfit consisted of a long, white dress. It ran to her calves and the sleeves to her elbow. The skirt was flowy and had a barrage of flowers. She had her hair tied in a bow, curtesy of cancer. She twirled and posed as Natsu and Zeref looked at her with blank faces. They almost looked brain-dead in Lucy's opinion. "What do you think?" she asked.
"I think we both died several stores ago and you're currently talking to our ghosts." Zeref said. Lucy, again, rolled her eyes.
"Also, you're a classic mean girl. Not a girl-next-door." Natsu said. Lucy huffed.
"WELL, IT ISN'T LIKE THERE'S ANYONE ELSE AROUND!"
"Why do you think I called Mavis?" Natsu asked as if Lucy was the idiot.
"Do you want me to call Erza?"
"No ma'am!" Natsu shouted.
"Mavis, huh? Now that's classic girl-next-door." Lucy said with a grin, instantly forgetting her initial anger.
"Why do I need a girlfriend?"
"To make you look innocent." Lucy said and twirled around in her outfit. "I don't care if Mavis is going to be Zeref's girlfriend… I'm getting this outfit." As if on cue Mavis skipped in the door. She waved at her friends and hurried over.
"What are you guys doing here? I thought Zeref's trial was today." Mavis said.
"We're working on making him look innocent." Lucy said, grinning. Mavis looked at him and grinned.
"Well done." She praised Lucy. Lucy giggled and bopped her head in a nod. Natsu gagged and Zeref looked at them strangely. "I'm guessing I'm here as a prop."
"Yup! You're the girlfriend."
"I've always wanted the girl-next-door role." Lucy grinned.
"Well that's exactly what you're getting today. But first you need the perfect outfit!"
"NO!" Natsu cried in agony, dropping to his knees on utter despair. Lucy was pretty sure Zeref had died… again, and Natsu lay motionless on his face. Lucy smirked.
"Yes." Was all she said. So, they shopped for more hours. And the only reason they stopped was because it was time for Zeref's trial. And the worst part about it was that Mavis ended up buying the same outfit Lucy was, except in pink, because, according to Lucy, pink suited her best. And so, they all left for the trial.
When they arrived all the members of the council were lined up in their chairs looking down at the wizards. They wondered where Zeref was, because all who walked in was Natsu and Lucy, Fairytail wizards. A strange young girl, whom couldn't be Zeref because she was female. And a timid-looking boy who was even less likely to be Zeref then the salamander. "Where's Zeref?" the chairman asked. Natsu pointed to the timid-looking boy. The council narrowed their eyes into slits like snakes. They had expected an old man with scary eyes and a glare so wicked the dragons would cower.
"Prove it." One of the council members unwisely said. Zeref did by choking the one whom asked. The man writhed on the ground, and a black cloud surrounded Zeref. His eyes turned a terrifying shade of blood red. And soon it stopped.
"Is that good enough?" Zeref asked.
"… Certainly." The chairman said. "Step up to the podium." Zeref complied.
"He isn't playing innocent so well." Lucy whispered.
"Looks like all that shopping and money was wasted." Natsu said dryly.
"As if. You think I plan on letting him keep those clothes? They still have the tag on them, so he can wear them for today, and then I'm getting my money back." Mavis had walked up to the podium along with Zeref and held his hand smiling sweetly. The council members didn't mind, so they didn't say anything.
"How do you plead?" one asked.
"Guilty." Zeref said. The council members looked at him strangely. Mavis's smile became strained and she squeezed his hand so hard everyone heard a sickening pop. Zeref winced.
"What did you say, sweetie?"
"Not guilty." Zeref grimaced.
"That's what I thought you said." Mavis said and turned back to the council.
"Will Zeref Dragneel come forward?" the chairman said finally. Zeref did so. "I will start reading the charges against you." The chairman said to Zeref and started. "Murder, …" and he went on to read all the charges. "And the murder of Victor Clouse."
"I didn't do that, it was Angelina." Zeref instantly slapped himself as he felt the woman beside him freeze.
"Who is Angelina?" she asked tightly.
"Um…"
Natsu snorted. "Zeref's in trouble with his girlfriend." Natsu snickered and Lucy slapped his arm not-so-lightly.
"ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU'VE BEEN WITH OTHER GIRLS SINCE I DIED? "
"Something tells me that's not a good reason to be angry." Natsu whispered. Natsu could already start imagining how he would tell his future children how their uncle died.
"How did Uncle Zeref die?"
"Death by girlfriend." Natsu would answer immediately and his children would look at him funny and Natsu would shrug. "Never tell your girlfriend you were cheating on her while she was dead." And his children would laugh, telling him that was a good joke. Then they would ask how he really died. And Natsu would smile mysteriously. "Call my bluffs at your own risk."
"Natsu! You have to save Zeref! I think Mavis is actually killing him!" Lucy shouted as she watched in horror as Mavis shook Zeref by his shoulders violently. Zeref moaned as he felt his head snap back and forth. And then he passed out.
"Zeref you can't die yet! I haven't thrown you into a pit of lava!"
"Just what do you plan to do?" Natsu asked shakily.
"I plan to cut him into little pieces and throw him into a pit of lava. Then, when he regenerates I'll punch him till he's dead. Then, I'll resurrect him and give him the real punishment." Mavis said, smiling sweetly. Natsu whimpered and hid behind Lucy, who was sweating buckets. "But he has to wake up before I can do that."
"Oh! I've got it! True loves kiss!" Lucy said dramatically
"Or CPR." Natsu muttered but no one heard him.
"Perfect! Natsu, kiss him!" Mavis said.
"WHAT! NO WAY! THAT IS DISGUSTING! NUMBER 1 I'M A GUY AND HE'S A GUY! NUMBER 2 HE'S MY BROTHER!"
"Something tells me the, "he's my brother", should've been number 1." Lucy said. "Besides she has a point. Siblings always have to have true love for each other. So, have at it."
"But I don't wanna!" Natsu screeched.
"Do you want me to call Erza?" Lucy asked.
"Does it have to be the lips?"
"Yes! Have you ever heard of a princess waking up with a kiss on the forehead?"
"I still say those princes were doing CPR." Natsu said.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Lucy said in a monotone.
"NO! AWAKING FROM DEATH WITH A KISS IS THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD! AND I'VE HEARD A LOT OF STUPID THINGS."
"Like what?"
"LIKE KISSING MY BROTHER WILL WAKE HIM UP!"
"That brings us back to the original conversation. Kiss him." Lucy said without a hint of sympathy.
"But I don't wanna!" Natsu whined.
"Do you want me to call Erza?"
"Does it have to be the lips?"
"Now we're just going around in circles. And yes! Have you ever heard of a princess waking up with a kiss on the forehead?"
"He's not a princess." Natsu mumbled.
"What was that?" Lucy asked in a growl.
"I said you're so mean!" Natsu whined as he walked over to his peaceful looking brother. "Let's get this over with man." Natsu said and took a deep breath before leaning down. He puckered up and heard deafening silence before a deep voice echoed throughout the room.
"You kiss me, brother, and you will find there are a lot more painful things then death." Zeref growled staring at him with blood-shot eyes. Natsu shrieked like a girl and scampered away to hide behind Lucy. She chuckled.
"Natsu I was just kidding… were you really going to kiss him?"
"… No…"
"You were, weren't you!"
"I was not!"
"Were to!" Lucy shouted in a teasing tone. "Does Natsu have a crush?"
"That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard!" Natsu cried wrinkling his nose. Lucy cackled like a witch and Natsu groaned in misery.
"Zeref is found… not guilty! Mainly because I never want to see you people again!" the chairman cried and ran out of the room, creeped out of his mind.
"This is crazy." Zeref muttered.
"That's what you get when you invite Fairytail!" Natsu, Lucy, and Mavis cheered and grinned big grins at each other. Zeref sighed.
"I never want to see you again." Zeref said, shaking his head. They all grin at him.
"Last one that catches Zeref has to kiss him!" Natsu cheered and chased after a running Zeref.
"You sure you should be making bets like that, Dragneel?" Lucy teased.
"SHUT UP!" Natsu roared, a grin on his face and a wild look in his eye.
Natsu ran as fast as his legs would carry him, which was pretty fast, but Lucy had summoned Virgo whom ran faster than he could. "NO FAIR!" Natsu cried.
"ALL IS FAIR IN WAR!" Lucy cried giddily. Natsu boosted himself with his fire feet.
"NO! DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND!" Mavis cried, a long way behind them. Natsu could only grin and boost harder. There was no way he was going to let Lucy win! He was closing in on Zeref, but the weird thing was Mavis wasn't running anymore. "Must've excepted defeat" Natsu thought. They were closing in fast and Natsu stretched out his arms to grab his brother, but Zeref teleported at the last moment.
"What?" Natsu cried, skitting to a stop. He glanced around and saw his brother teleporting practically on top of Mavis and they both went down. Zeref tried to teleport again but Mavis elbowed him in the gut.
"I caught him! now, one of you will have to kiss him!"
"I don't want to be kissed!" Zeref cried loudly.
"Of course, you do." Mavis said grinning.
"… No, I really don't." Mavis rolled her eyes and flattened herself on top of him. Zeref groaned and put his face in the dirt.
"Darn. They're never gonna take those clothes back now." Lucy grumbled. Natsu ran and ran toward the two of them, Mavis was giggling, probably picturing their torture. Lucy was right behind him with Virgo and they were closing in fast. Natsu felt them on his heels, and Natsu cried out when they bolted passed him.
"No!" he screeched and grabbed Virgo's waist, whom ended up carrying the two of them across the terrain, and they both reached Zeref at exactly the same time. Mavis giggled.
"Now you both have to kiss him!" she screeched with laughter.
"I honestly don't find it all that funny, Mavis." Zeref said. What was so funny?
"NO!" Lucy and Natsu cried in agony. Zeref crossed his arms with a look of contempt written over his face.
"Am I really that bad a kisser?"
"Well, last time someone kissed you they keeled over." Natsu said bluntly.
"I can't help it if I was drop-dead gorgeous!" Zeref exclaimed, causing Mavis to shriek with more laughter, holding her stomach. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Zeref screamed, losing his temper for the first time. Natsu was right along giggling with Mavis and Lucy attempted to hold back her evident laughter.
"YOU! DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS! I CAN'T! I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!" Natsu cried, feeling that his stomach had never hurt so terribly. No, not even on the fastest of magic-mobiles. Zeref pouted and started to run away again. "HEY! Guys, we can't let him get away!" Natsu exclaimed and ran after Zeref. "Last one to catch him has to propose!" Natsu cried.
"WHAT!" The two girls shrieked as Natsu cackled and threw himself on Zeref.
"So… which one of you is going to propose?" Natsu asked in a teasing tone.
"Why is proposing to me such a horrible punishment?" Zeref cried dramatically. Natsu shrugged. How was he supposed to know? He snickered at the looks of horror on the girls faces. Mavis was the first to recover and made her dash toward Natsu and Zeref. Lucy realized she missed her chance to act and it was too late as Mavis had reached Zeref.
"NO!" Lucy cried. Natsu and Mavis smirked as Lucy was made to get on one knee, Zeref towering over her with an impatient look.
"Will you marry me?" Lucy asked, wondering what his answer would be.
"No." Zeref said flatly. "You three are the most horrible, short-sighted, ignorant, unsympathetic, stupidest people I have ever met. And I hope you never talk to me again, because I am sure I am losing brain cells just by looking at you." He said, turned around, and marched off.
"… I hate to say it, but that was kind of expected." Natsu said, watching as Zeref march away like a soldier heading off to war. Lucy sighed and pouted,
"I feel insulted."
"Oh yeah, the evilest wizard on earth didn't want to marry you, big deal… I say cut your losses." Natsu said with a shrug. Lucy glared at him.
"It's the principle of the thing! I mean, he didn't want to marry ME! Lucy Heartfillia! There's something wrong with him. everyone wants to marry me." Natsu just blinked at her with a blank look on his face before he asked her in an overly, fakely concerned voice, his arms crossed.
"Lucy, did you take your meds this morning? You know you get delusions if you don't." Natsu mocked. Lucy looked like she wanted to kill him.
"I don't need MEDS!" she shouted.
"Quick Mavis, she's becoming unstable!" Natsu cried. Lucy glared at him. Natsu laughed at her expression. "Come on, let's go get Zeref." Natsu said with a grin. The two other girls nodded and set off in the direction he marched. And they found him not to long after they started looking. He was sitting at the top of the roof. Natsu had said to look there first because Zeref seemed like that type of person. He was pouting miserably up there. "Hey! Zeref!" Natsu called running up to him.
"Have you lost a bet and come to kiss me as punishment?" Zeref asked. Natsu frowned.
"No, I haven't. I just came to tell you we're going back to Fairytail."
"Why would you want to tell me that?" Zeref asked, looking confused. This made Natsu confused.
"Why wouldn't I want to tell you that? Obviously, I'm telling you, so you can quit moping and come back with us."
"Come back with you?" Zeref asked. Natsu grinned.
"Well, of course." Natsu said. Zeref looked at him with a frown. "You are coming back, aren't you?" Natsu asked.
"Well…"
"Well, you don't have a choice. You're a convict. You have to come with us as part of your sentence."
"You sure it's because of that and not the fact that he's your brother?" Lucy asked.
"… Both reasons." Natsu said. "Come on!" Natsu cried and grabbed Zeref's hand. "Let's go!"
"I don't know…" Zeref said hesitantly whilst Natsu tried to force him to follow.
"What don't you know?" Lucy asked.
"It's just…" he wrenched his hand out of Natsu's grip by tugging up and down fast, aiming for where the thumb and pointer finger met as it was the weakest point in the grip. Zeref backed up a few steps as Natsu was left to look at Zeref to his hand with a shocked expression on his face. "I just…" Zeref looked guilty. "I don't deserve it." He whispered so lowly they had to strain to hear it.
"I don't know what you're talking about. But you're getting on my nerves." Natsu said with an unamused expression on his face. Zeref shook his head and gave a small smile.
"It's nothing." He said quietly.
"And I'm the next king of Fiore. You're not fooling me." Natsu said and looked behind him at the two girls behind him. they shrugged their shoulders. Zeref's eyes were filled with sadness and pain. It didn't take a genius to see that.
"Really. I didn't say anything."
"Do you really think I'm deaf enough to not hear what you just said?" Natsu asked. Zeref slowly shook his head and looked anywhere but at Natsu. "Right… so, stop moping and come on. I'm telling you. Sticking with us is the worst punishment you could ever get, understand?"
"HEY!" Lucy and Mavis shouted. Natsu looked back at them with an apologetic smile that wasn't apologetic at all. In fact, he looked happy that he just insulted himself along with everyone else in Fairytail.
"So, what do you say?" Natsu asked.
"Well…"
"Good choice." Natsu said before Zeref had a chance to respond to his question. This time he grabbed Zeref's hand so tightly his wrist started to turn red. Then Natsu started to stomp off the roof like a soldier marching off to war.
"Is it just me, or do they even march the same way?" Lucy asked Mavis.
"Not just you." She said. They smiled at each other and started off after the two brothers. "So, when do you plan on becoming my sister-in-law?" Mavis asked Lucy. She turned with a huge blush on her face.
"W-what do you mean?" Lucy stuttered.
"You know exactly what I mean." Mavis said smirking.
"W-well…" suddenly Lucy smirked at Mavis.
"The real question is when you are going to become my sister-in-law." Lucy said. Mavis blushed a little.
"Well it's not my fault he's too much of a coward to propose." Mavis whined.
"Well, it's not my fault that Natsu is too much of an idiot to realize I have feelings for him… what if he doesn't feel the same?"
"He will! Those Dragneel brothers are way more similar than I ever realized. I can't believe I never realized it until it was told right to my face… even if they didn't have anything in common they would still have one thing. They both fall hopelessly in love with smart blonde girls." Mavis said.
"Where's the other smart blonde?" Lucy asked.
"NOT A GOOD JOKE! DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL NATSU YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON-!" Lucy clapped her hand over Mavis's mouth.
"Shh! Not so loud!" she whisper-shouted. Mavis pouted.
"Well, it's your fault for saying something like that and implying that you're the smarter of the two of us." Lucy sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Yeah… I know. Just please don't tell him or I'd die of embarrassment!"
"You should talk to Zeref about your crush on his brother." Mavis said.
"No way! What if he goes and tell Natsu that I like him!" Lucy half shrieked.
"Then you have to promise him to secrecy."
"Well if I have to talk to Zeref about my crush then you have to talk to Natsu about yours!" Mavis wrinkled her nose.
"NO WAY! He's too much of an idiot to understand what I'm talking about and knowing Natsu he'll accidently let it slip that I like Zeref, and then I'll never live it down!" Mavis cried dramatically.
"And what if Zeref accidently lets something slip? I'm only telling him about my crush if you tell Natsu!" Mavis frowned at Lucy. Then her eyes lit up and she looked at Lucy with her "I have an ingenious plan that's definitely not going to backfire!" look.
"What is it?"
"Why do we have to admit our crushes? We'll just get them to admit theirs!" Mavis said excitedly.
"There's no way they'd admit their crushes. Natsu probably won't but knowing Zeref he'll probably guess you're only asking because you have a crush on him." Lucy said.
"That's just it! I won't be the one asking. You will be! Once we know who their crushes are we'll report back to each other. And then, if we know they like us back it will be easier to confess!"
"I don't know… there are several things that could go wrong with a plan like that." Lucy said hesitantly.
"But you have to admit it's better than openly saying we have crushes." Mavis said.
"I don't have to admit anything… I'm scared, what if Natsu doesn't like me back?"
"At least you'll know so you can move on! We're both young and beautiful. If they don't like us then we won't become sisters-in-law, but at least we won't have to be stuck on them for our entire lives. Also, I'm pretty sure Zeref likes me in the non-friend way, but I just want to be sure."
"Exactly! I'm the one who's really taking the risk! I have no idea if Natsu sees me in a non-friend way!" Lucy said nervously.
Meanwhile up with the guys.
"Should we tell them we can hear everything they're talking about?" Zeref asked his little brother. He could hear the girls talk about confessing.
"Naw." Natsu said with a grin. "Let them be clueless for once."
"I CAN'T CONFESS NOW!" they heard Lucy shriek as quietly as she could. Zeref didn't like to leave them hanging like this, but Natsu seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it.
With the girls.
"This is all so sudden. Maybe we should just let them confess in their own time." Lucy said.
"No way are we waiting for them not to be cowards! We have to make the first move!"
"But… what if they don't-." Lucy's nervousness was cut off by Mavis's,
"Then we call them losers and go on our merry ways, showing that even their harsh rejection will never get us down!" Mavis cried.
"…But… it will get me down." She said quietly.
"Come on! All we have to do is get them alone and ask if they like our best friend!"
"I don't know…"
"I do! let's do this!" Mavis said with obvious conviction that made up for Lucy's nervousness.
"O-okay. I'm in." Lucy said, a small smile making its way to her face. Mavis grinned.
"Alright. Operation, Catch A Dragneel, is a go!" she cried. Lucy looked at her strangely. Lucy cleared her throat and asked nervously,
"What's operation catch a Dragneel?" Lucy asked.
"By the end of this week we are going to have boyfriends my blonde friend."
"B-boyfriends?"
"Yep! And by the end of this month, we'll have husbands!" Mavis exclaimed.
Then Lucy fainted. Mavis looked at her friend worriedly. That's when Natsu cracked up laughing. Even Zeref started to chuckle quietly. Mavis glared at them. "Just what is so funny about my friend fainting?" she asked. They didn't answer her, just continued to laugh. Mavis punched Natsu in the stomach and stood over him with a withering glare. "I asked what was so funny." Zeref smiled faintly at her.
"Oh Natsu, we shouldn't laugh." He said.
"BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY!" he cried and cracked up into another fit of laughter despite the pain in his stomach. Tears started to slide down his face he was laughing so hard.
"Sorry Mavis… but operation, Catch A Dragneel, was what sealed it for me." Zeref said with a grin. It took a moment for Mavis to process when she looked in horror at him.
"Y-your heard what we were talking about?" Mavis asked.
"Every word." Natsu said. "I didn't know Lucy liked me."
"Well, of course you didn't. you're an idiot." Zeref said.
"All of it!" Mavis asked shrilly in a quiet voice.
"Yes but- Hey! Don't tell me you're going to pass out too!" Natsu exclaimed. But it was too late. She had fainted. Zeref chuckled to himself.
"I can imagine when they wake up they'll think this moment a nightmare." Zeref said.
"Yeah, me too." Natsu laughed. "That was fun." He added.
"We should confess to them soon. Before they get taken by someone else whom they see more fit." Zeref said.
"Who says whom anymore?" Natsu asked.
"I do." Zeref said in a dignified manner as they both picked up one of the girls.
"Hey, can I switch you? Lucy's kind of heavy." Natsu complained. Zeref smirked.
"I would think everything is kind of heavy to you, brother." Zeref said chuckling. Natsu pouted.
"Hey! Not nice!" he said.
"Well it's not nice to call your future girlfriend heavy either. Especially when she doesn't know you called her bloated."
"I did not say she was bloated, I said she was heavy." Natsu spoke defiantly. Zeref sighed and took a glance at his dear younger brother.
"You have a lot to learn about females' little brother." He said. Natsu scowled
"Well, so do you! Number one, we don't call them females we call them girls you idiot." It was Zeref's turn to frown.
"I am most certainly not an idiot." Zeref said matter-of-factly. Natsu rolled his eyes and gave his brother a withering look that said, "Yeah right, you're not fooling anyone with that story but yourself." Zeref stuck his tongue out at his brother. Natsu gasped and did the same and it turned into a full out tongue-sticking-out-war. And there was only such a thing between siblings. The two brothers glared at each other and started to speak ill of the other.
"You're notorious for being an idiot, Natsu Dragneel." Zeref said. Natsu scoffed.
"It seems you don't know how to insult people, brother." He said. And again, they both stuck their tongues out at the same time. And this kind of behavior continued until Mavis and Lucy awoke and put an end to their constant bickering.
"Natsu, it's wrong to eaves drop." Lucy scolded him, glaring with all her might. But, it didn't matter how much she glared because she would never get over how embarrassing it was to have your crush overhear your conversation about him to your best friend! Mavis was unnaturally silent ever since she found out Zeref had heard her talk about her plan to Catch A Dragneel. She was so embarrassed. Neither girl could bear to look their crushes in the eye for fear of fainting again. they had thought it was a nightmare when they first woke up but were quickly reminded of the fact that it was reality, and Natsu wanted to use it as blackmail. Lucy had said they'd had no proof and Natsu had just given her a look that said, "Do you really think anyone will care?" Lucy had responded with a defeated sigh.
"Just what do you want from us?" Mavis snapped, tired of hearing Natsu drag on about how he was going to make their lives miserable. Natsu smirked.
"That's what I'm working on." He said with a devilish grin. Lucy glared at him again.
"I hate you, Dragneel." Lucy growled
"Really? Cause you were just talking about professing your love to me not too long ago." Natsu said with a smirk. Lucy couldn't keep her glare for too long and her eyes became watery.
"You won't really tell anyone, will you? You're just teasing, right?" she asked.
"Urm… no?" Natsu seemed to ask himself rather than answer Lucy's question. "I-I mean, it's nothing for you to worry about!" Lucy started to cry. "WAIT! D-don't cry." Natsu said, trying to console her. Zeref shook his head.
"You're an idiot." Natsu glared at him.
"Aw, Lucy, don't cry!" Natsu exclaimed. "T-the truth is… I really like you too." He said.
"Really?" Lucy, Zeref, and Mavis asked suspiciously.
"I think so…"
"Idiot." They all say.
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Natsu said, frowning. He pulled Lucy into an embrace. Lucy rested her head on his chest.
"You know this would be a perfect time to confess too." Mavis told Zeref.
"Go right ahead." Zeref said.
"I meant you, idiot." Zeref raised an eyebrow.
"… That's very assuming." Mavis glared.
"CONFESSING DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN SAYING YOU LOVE ME, IT JUST MEANS THAT YOU ARE TELLING ME HOW YOU FEEL! OR TELL ME SOMETHING YOUR GUILTY OF… I'LL TAKE THAT TOO!" Mavis shouted at him, her lips drawing into a firm pout.
"…Well there's no need to yell at me." He said. She crossed her arms over her chest.
"Well, I'm just saying that I'm rather surprised the evilest wizard in the world doesn't know what confess means." She said.
"… Being the evilest wizard in the world and knowing the definition of words has no correlation." Zeref said blandly.
"YOU ARE SO MEAN!" Mavis cried, and smacked his arm with her fist.
"… You're the one who's hitting me."
"MEANIE!" she cried.
"Besides, I didn't know we had to confess like love-sick teenagers. I simply thought you'd be more mature about this Mavis." Mavis looked as if he'd just insulted her.
"Me? Mature? How dare you speak that word in my presence!" she shouted, with her fist in the air.
"You're adorable." Zeref said.
"I'm… adorable?"
"I thought we already established that… did I not just say you were adorable?"
"… Well, you did… but I wasn't sure if I heard you right… you think I'm adorable.
"Yes." Mavis blushed profusely. "… Except when you start to threaten me and try to cut me up into little pieces and throw me into a pit of lava… and then resurrect me so you can punch me to death, before you resurrect me again for the real punishment… that's a little less adorable and more…"
"Creepy?"
"I was going to say murderous… but I suppose creepy will do also." Zeref said.
"WOULD YOU JUST HURRY UP AND KISS ALREADY!" Natsu shouted.
"To be honest I don't think it's the time… I mean, I just called her murderous."
"Excuses, excuses." Mavis clucked her tongue. She stood on tip-toe and gave him a chaste kiss on his lips. Zeref looked surprised and looked down at her. Mavis was blushing so hard she thought her face might fall off. But then he smiled and patted her on the head. He was the only one whom she would allow to pat her on the head like a child and not rip his arm off. "Now it's your turn." Mavis told Natsu.
"H-his turn?" Lucy asked uncertainly.
"… Oh, yeah!" Natsu grinned, and kissed Lucy. She fainted from all the stimulation. Natsu looked at her, and then looked worried. "Did she die?" Natsu asked blandly.
"Why the heck would she die, it's just a kiss." Mavis said. And then they all looked at Zeref. "Oh… now I kind of get why you might be worried." Mavis added and Zeref frowned at them. It wasn't his fault that Mavis died. "But, she isn't dead. That I promise you." Mavis said with a small smile.
"Are you sure?" Natsu asked. "Cause she looks dead to me." He added, squinting at the form of Lucy. "I mean, why else would she just fall to the floor completely motionless… I mean besides the fact that's what weird people do, and that Lucy's pretty weird. But seriously, all I did was kiss her!" Natsu shouted. "LUCY! I'M SO SORRY!" Natsu cried, as he dropped to his knees in despair.
"Natsu."
"WHY!"
"Natsu!"
"I'M SO SORRY!"
"NATSU!" Lucy screamed at him. Natsu looked at her, and happy tears started to stream down his face.
"LUSHEE!" he cried, and tried to hug her, but Lucy held out her hand and Natsu's face went straight into it.
"Get off me!" Lucy shouted and pushed him away. "…Sorry. You just startled me." As if not remembering what happened the first time, Natsu flung himself at Lucy again and this time succeeded in wrapping his arms around her. Lucy sighed at his childishness and patted him on the back.
"At this rate we'll never reach your guild." Zeref said, like a knife cutting the happy moment in half.
"Why did you have to ruin the perfect moment!" Mavis cried with a pout. They all glared at him. Zeref looked nervously at his newly found friends.
"S-sorry… I was just saying, and you know I just wondered if we were going to go any time soon." He finished in a barely audible whisper. They all groaned and got to their feet. They decided they were going to go to the next town over and get a hotel. Lucy was the only one who brought money as, Mavis was a ghost and didn't need any money, Zeref was the evilest wizard in the world and had no need for something as mortal as money either, and Natsu was simply too stupid to bring any money.
"I expect to be payed back…" Lucy mumbled. Natsu sighed and shrugged. "… I only have enough for one room, but I can get two beds. Mavis and I will sleep together and you two will sleep together, understand?"
"Yes."
"But Lushee!" Natsu cried. "I don't want to sleep with him! I sleep with you every night!" Natsu's outburst caused several people to look at the couple strangely. Zeref chuckled nervously.
"Don't mind us… we're just bystanders…" Zeref said, looking at all the people looking at them.
"Excuse me… but is there a problem here." One of the staff asked.
"He's harassing me!" Lucy cried, pointing at Natsu.
"You're my mate! It's my job to harass you!"
"NO IT ISN'T! AND JUST WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY MATE? MATE! JUST SAY GIRLFRIEND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!"
"… I think you forget that he's not a normal person." Mavis mumbled.
"SHUT UP!" Lucy and Natsu cried at the same time.
"SHUT UP! ME? SHUT UP!" Mavis screeched at the top of her lungs.
"H-honey, brother, Lucy-san please calm down." Zeref said nervously.
"I WILL NOT TAKE THEM SHUTTING ME UP!" Mavis screeched, and threw herself into their verbal battle. Zeref stood and watched as each of them tried to kill the other. The staff members were too scared to step in, and Zeref couldn't blame them. He was a little scared to step into their battle himself. Even Zeref was having trouble believing that he, the most dangerous villain in mage history was too scared to stop an argument. In his defense his girlfriend was arguing too.
"I hope you have to look at Zeref's ugly face for the rest of your life!" Lucy yelled.
"ONLY I GET TO LOOK AT HIS UGLY FACE FOR THE REST MY LIFE!" Mavis shouted.
"I hope Zeref curses you with his ability to wear ugly dresses!" Natsu screamed at the top of his lungs, not sure which one of them he wanted Zeref to curse so he figured he just wanted them both to be cursed.
"I can't help but feel I'm the one they're insulting…" Zeref said with a sigh.
"WHAT!" they all yell turning to face him. Zeref cowered in any corner he could find.
"Um… nothing?" he whispered uncertainly. They all seemed to stare at him for the longest time before they burst into laughter.
"This argument is pointless." Mavis giggled. Lucy rolled her eyes.
"I suppose it is… you didn't hear me call you ugly… did you?" she added. Zeref slowly nodded his head. "Well, sorry… I was just angry, and I didn't… well I did mean it… but I didn't mean to say it to your face… sorry?"
"Apology not excepted." Zeref grumbled unhappily. Lucy pouted and the four of them made their way down the hall to their little hotel room.
"Also, you're not sleeping with me." Lucy said.
"BUT LUSHEE!" Natsu cried.
"Here we go…" Zeref mumbled as he opened the door with his key card. Mavis tried to reason with them and got mad because they told her to shut up. And they all three started to walk in with Zeref, but before they even got two steps toward the door Zeref slammed it after him. he also had the extra keycard.
"Hey Zeref… I think you accidently locked us out." Lucy said.
"That's true… accept for the accidently part." Zeref said with a triumphant grin. Although, no one could see because… he locked them out of the room they payed for! By "them" he meant Lucy, but who really cared?
"Zeref, let us in!" Natsu whined.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I can't hear you over all your insults. Guess I'll never know what you were saying." Zeref said in fake sadness.
"Zeref Dragneel you let us in right now!" Mavis shouted. "Or you will pay!" Zeref had no doubt that he would, although for right now he had won. And it was very peaceful. And Zeref was happy. And when he came out the next morning he saw them all sleeping in a pile beside the door.
"Aw, you guys look adorable." Zeref chirped happily… and then he was beat up, and despite being immortal… he was sure the beating had left many scars. Some on the inside, but most on the outside. And Natsu, Mavis, and Lucy stood over him with terrifying looks on their faces. Natsu bent over close to his face and growled in a deep voice with a scowl on his face.
"What have we learned?" Natsu asked.
"That you are all maniacs." Zeref responded.
"Very good." Natsu said happily as Lucy shouted,
"That was not the message we were trying to get across at all!" Natsu shrugged and Mavis giggled… and then she twisted Zeref's arm out of it's socket and left him there, howling in pain and left Natsu and Lucy there, looking terrified.
"What have we learned?" she asked.
"THAT YOU'RE TERRIFYING!" Natsu and Lucy shouted.
"That you're the most maniacal of them all." Zeref answered. Lucy and Natsu looked at him with looks of horror. "… In my defense, I already knew she was terrifying." And that's when Zeref blacked out.
A/N Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed this. This was a fic I made about a year ago when I was stressed and beaten from working on my original tales. So, this was meant to be a oneshot yet I continued it over the years so I have more written if you want to see more. I guess I'll post another chapter if you guys want another or if I'm bored and have nothing else to update. So, reviews/follows/favorites are all welcome and appreciated. If you want to see more, tell me. Otherwise, bye!