When wedding sucks, you deal with it
There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
~Clint Eastwood (1930 - )
There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends. And there's an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn't function.
~David Foster, House M.D., TB or Not TB, 2005
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
~Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971)
9th March, Konoha hospital
"Again!" Sasuke shouted on his tree teammates, punching onto the glass table "walkthrough of the symptoms"
"Constant headache, hypogonadism, liver failure" Temari reported god knows which time "it's amyloidosis!"
"Oh, then somebody may explain to me why didn't it appear in ANY tests, goddamn it!"
"Because it has obviously gone to other part of his body than the ankle" Temari stood up, her patience running to the dangerously low level "it's somewhere, we need an open surgery"
"I would happily do it" Sasuke sighed "you know how much I love those afternoon strolls along the lines of some guy's bowels"
"Let me guess" Karin interrupted, still reading the file "the oh-so-squishy-boobs didn't let you to indulge in your so long self-neglected fun"
"I would have said she was just being an idiot again" Sasuke shrugged "but your version is good too" he turned back to the whiteboard "it's a cancer, but it is also not a cancer. So, my dearly beloved, we have to recognize something that talks like cancer, walks like cancer, but isn't cancer"
"Why don't we put it simply" Shikamaru lifted his head, which he conveniently kept down on his forearm "headache…multiple organ failure could be caused by a primary HIV infection"
"Did you somehow make it through the med school under professor's skirt?" Sasuke frowned at him "you do realize he shouldn't have any immune system left to develop this kind of organ failure. Plus, HIV shows up in blood tests"
"I am just saying that maybe this is something obvious and we are somewhat not looking at the obvious anymore"
"The guy has been dying for two days already" Sasuke sighed, hopefully looking at the coffee machine in the corner of the office "and he was checked for the routine stuff when he was admitted due to a rage outpour"
"What of a sarcoma?" Karin suggested.
"It's not. We've tested for it" Sasuke shot her down immediately.
"Then it's amyloidosis" Temari insisted right away.
"He's at the right age" Karin shrugged.
"I hate this guy" Sasuke sighed.
"Why? Because he's hiding an illness all by himself?" Shikamaru pointed out.
"Yeah, that might have something to do with it" Sasuke frowned and reread all the symptoms on the whiteboard.
"Test him" he finally ordered.
"Test him where?" Shikamaru frowned.
"Test his bone marrow. If amyloid cells had actually accumulated in those, the guy might be treated"
The three stood up to leave, but Sasuke called Karin to stay.
"How're things with Itachi?" he asked, piercing her with his X-ray vision.
"Don't start" Karin sighed. This conversation was all too familiar since a month ago Sasuke found out that she and his brother were dating since Christmas.
"You do realize you're only his sex toy, right?"
"Believe me, I know that better than you do"
"And you're ok with that?"
"Yes, I am" Karin scoffed "I fully understand that he's probably incapable to be a…family man and give me…a lifetime of joy and commitment. However…" she sniffed, trying to laugh, but it turned out more like a glimpse of a cry "I'm happy for now and…I have everything I need"
"By the end of your "relationship", he's going to emotionally castrate you and leave you like an old shoe he throws out every month" Sasuke said cruelly "If you are satisfied with that kind of life, by all means, spend all day with him, but don't come back crying to me"
"Right" Karin smiled sadly at him "thanks for the concern"
"Go do your job" Sasuke almost threw her out "that's about the only thing Itachi hasn't stained in you"
"So I am disgusting to you now, huh?"
"As a woman, yeah"
"Well then, I'm happy I don't even pretend to be your woman" and she left, closing door behind her silently.
It's been more than two months since Sakura's return and the couple was adapting to the new, we-are-engaged, way of life. The preparations for their wedding tomorrow were running smoothly, until Sasuke had stumbled on this particular case that drove his attention away from cake-tasting, dress-choosing and stuff.
To be perfectly honest, Sasuke felt somehow conflicted by these two occupations and guilty for leaving Sakura alone in everything. However, a relief that she actually understood and tolerated his mania was greater a cure than anything else.
But apparently it didn't cure one thing…
"So" Naruto marched into Sasuke's office and sat into the chair in front of him "you haven't been home…how many days now?"
"Two" Sasuke grunted out, rubbing his tired eyes.
"And your wedding is…when?"
"Tomorrow" Sasuke sighed "don't worry, I got the suit ready in the doctor's lounge"
"That's not what I'm talking about" Naruto noted. Sasuke lifted his tired gaze up to his best friend, whose smile shone like a half-moon. Every since Hinata's miraculous giving of birth to Yuki, Naruto has been smiling non-stop. The Uchiha actually had theories about the artificial smile Naruto has cut out of the poster and put it on his face.
"Listen…I know your wedding was perfect and with all the bachelor party stuff, where you ended up naked on the street as the real bachelor-for-the-last-day…fortunately, I am not you and I won't follow your footsteps on this one"
Naruto's smile slightly faded with the reminder of the bachelor party that Sasuke had organized. He clearly remembers the first hour, as he was dancing surrounded by half-naked strippers, but after that everything went black and only cleared next morning, as he found himself sleeping on the doormat outside Sasuke's house, in the mid-winter cold and completely naked.
Naruto Uzumaki sincerely considered himself lucky that the photos of this event had been destroyed by an accidental spill of vodka on the whole camera.
"Ok, that was entirely your fault"
"I don't feel guilty"
"Oh, you will, when Sakura will call and put off the wedding because you had a case"
"Would you shut it?"
"No, because once again you are destroying your own happiness" Naruto held his index finger in the air "you will loose her this way"
"You know what? After two non-sleeping nights, your voice is really annoying. Kinda like your whole presence" Sasuke hung his head on the arm he rammed on the table "could you please be at least a little useful and get me coffee?"
"You're a mess" Naruto sighed and stood up, making his way to the coffee machine "you can't go to your own wedding, looking like that" he poured coffee into the cup and placed it in front of Sasuke. The Uchiha grabbed it and took two good sips.
"Don't worry. I'll go home as soon as the tests for amyloidosis come back positive"
"You're sure it's that?" Naruto frowned.
"Nope. But I hope it is. Cause if it's not, then the guy's just dying without cause" Sasuke sighed "oh well, at least he will die happy, cause his girlfriend seemed to have forgiven him his outrages"
"Joy to the world"
They both sat in silence for a while.
"Sasuke…which color do you like more: light yellow of pink?" Naruto suddenly asked.
"Can I just ignore you? Cause you make me sad. Please don't show in front of me with a tie of either of those colors"
"No, no, it's for Yuki's third month anniversary. I saw these adorable romper suits and I just can't decide which one to buy"
"Only days passed since the second month anniversary, and you're already planning the third?" Sasuke rolled eyes "you're such an obsessive father it's almost scary"
"Hey, I just love my girl" Naruto folded arms behind his head and shone the light of his smile "you should see how she laughs…I think she's going to be much like Hinata after all, cause her smile has that tint, you know, and-"
"Thank goodness for that, cause if I see another person, remotely similar to you, I'll go crazy"
"You just don't appreciate what you have"
"Oh, right, sorry I forgot that"
Sasuke's cell phone on the table suddenly rang. He looked at the caller and sighed, a little, hardly noticeable smile creeping onto his lips.
"Would you mind getting out, my friend-who-I-do-not-appreciate? I get a better reception when you're not here"
"Ah, it's the bride" Naruto smiled shrewdly and stood up.
"Yes, it's the bride. And we would happily have our online sex alone. Goodbye" Sasuke waved Naruto aside. The blonde-haired doctor scoffed and left, eyeing Sasuke mischievously.
"Yeah" Sasuke answered.
"Hello, stranger" a voice, light and playful, caressed Sasuke's tired eardrum "how is your case going?"
"Well, the labs are at their final stage and…I hope to receive a confirmation so we could be happily-ever-aftered" Sasuke smirked "what you're doing?"
"Well, I've just stepped out of the shower and I'll be going to try on the finalized dress"
"Mmm, after-shower you…god I missed this sight here" Sasuke sighed with longing. Sakura's laugh that followed continued to pleasingly pad his ear.
"Then you should come home. I know we have a honeymoon after the ceremony, but…"
"I know. I'm sorry" Sasuke suddenly felt the heaviness of guilt fall upon his heart with all its weight.
"You can't just transfer it to another doctor, can you?"
"No. If I don't figure this out by today, the guy's as good as dead for hell knows what reason" an understanding and patient sigh from the other side of the line didn't help with Sasuke's guilt at all.
When I signed up for this, no one mentioned I will have to divert my thoughts towards actually feeling guilty about something. Can't I just…not feel it? Then again, Naruto did mention I can't feel so much guilt without love. Great! Now I'm thinking like some love-struck puppy, who tore up his master's shoes and now lays low because of guilt…Oh well, look at the bright side: at least I know how the dog fells.
Quite miserable.
"Alright. How about I drop by the hospital for a lunch?" Sakura suggested.
"That sounds good. Call me when you're here"
"Sure, see you then. I love you"
"Love you too" Sasuke put down the phone.
One thing I hadn't figured out about her is how much her patience is going to last. Can somebody please hand me a bridal temper manual?
"Sasuke" Karin walked in, carrying the sheet of paper "it's negative" she announced "and the patient's went into cardiac arrest just now. Shika and Temari are on it"
"Wonderful" Sasuke sighed, feeling the rock on his heart growing heavier.
"Look, why don't we just drop it? The guy's dying without a cause and tomorrow's your wedding"
"Well that would be a nice gift: a corpse in the bag" Sasuke's ironic vision seemed a bit too real right now. He looked up at the whiteboard again, reviewing all the symptoms.
I don't believe I'm in this mess.
-x-
Sakura arrived at the hospital at least an hour earlier than Sasuke's lunchtime. She took the left turn at the clinic and knocked at the second door on the right. A pleasantly-looking doctor allowed her in and offered her a seat.
While they were talking, only one thought ran through Sakura's mind.
How am I supposed to tell him…if it is true? Under these circumstances…no way during the lunch, so…either after the wedding or…IF he returns home tonight. Oh God, please, make him return! Please!
1 hour later…
"So…he hasn't been home yet, huh?" Tsunade sighed and put some chocolate cake into her mouth, while Naruto indulged himself into pleasures of fried fries and tomato sauce.
"Nope. And you are not helping at all by preventing that open surgery"
"Hey, just because he's marrying tomorrow, doesn't mean I can allow him to play pin-the-donkey on patient's insides" Tsunade evaded.
"True" Naruto shrugged, watching a couple, sitting about five tables away, with a glimpse of sadness "she's not pregnant, is she?"
"Don't know" Tsunade said also sadly, poking the cake with the fork "I haven't seen Sakura much lately due to those preparations for the wedding"
"She doesn't seem changed" Naruto continued to observe Sakura's curves and movement while she was talking to Sasuke quite lively for an issued couple.
"If she was pregnant, I think Sasuke wouldn't be so into the case" Tsunade sighed out.
"You think?"
"No…I hope"
Naruto nodded in approval and both put some food into their mouths.
"He's destroying his own well-being" Naruto noted.
"He has been doing so since I met him" Tsunade added.
Both sighed heavily.
-x-
Sasuke and Sakura's table…
"So, you're serious about not inviting him" Sakura confirmed once more.
"Yes, I am" Sasuke sighed and gulped some more coffee "the last time we were at the same building, the entire hospital almost went bankrupt"
"True" Sakura watched her fiancé drinking a second cup of coffee in fifteen minutes "do you still have some blood left in your veins?"
"If I hadn't, I would be black. Now you don't want to marry a black guy, do you?"
"Nope" Sakura stuck out her tongue, winking playfully "I'm happy with you, as you are. Especially the times when you're at home and in the bed"
"Especially in the bed" Sasuke almost whispered and put a light kiss on her lips.
"Please try to come back home tonight" Sakura asked in serious tone, different from the one just a second ago. Sasuke sighed and brushed gently through her cheek, frowning to yet another sensation of guilt, falling onto his already suppressed heart "Jules is missing you too" Sakura took his hand into hers.
"I bet he does" Sasuke smiled sadly "it's difficult. Part of me wants to get the hell out of here, but the other one screams to stay and solve the case" he sighed "you're marrying a schizophrenic lunatic with a split personality"
"Well" Sakura scoffed "you're not that bad"
"Thank you" he whispered and kissed her again. Suddenly their little idle was shattered as Temari came running through the cafeteria.
"Sasuke! I think you should see something"
"Does it alter the diagnosis of "death" of our patient? Cause if not I'm a little busy"
"It might" Temari sighed, looking guiltily down at Sakura "I'm sorry"
"It's ok. Go" she urged Sasuke "you might actually solve it this time"
"Aren't you the encouraging one" Sasuke noted ironically and kissed her for the last time.
Sakura was left sitting alone until Tsunade and Naruto joined her about ten second after Sasuke left with Temari.
"Feeling uneasy? Having second thoughts?" Tsunade began the inquisition immediately.
"No and no" Sakura confirmed "were you playing Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson on us again?"
"Hey, my best buddy is committing himself to someone for the first time. And I am his elder in the matter, so I have a right to know his private life" Naruto explained quite seriously. It made Sakura only laugh.
"Sorry to break it to you, but you don't know half his private life and you married only a month and a half ago"
"Six weeks. Enough for a moon to go through a series of phases" Naruto shrugged.
"Great. If our weddings were three lunar months from each other, I would say you are a superior. In the mean time-"
"What he's trying to say" Tsunade interrupted "is this: are you sure you're alright with marrying a…miserable misanthropic jerk, who has a tendency to live in the hospital from time to time"
"Yeah, I am" Sakura answered shortly "he may be miserable and misanthropic jerk, but…this is going to sound crazy…I love it about him. He's not just another guy: I don't know what to expect of him next and…that's what interests me"
"You may not like his surprises" Naruto pointed out "don't get me wrong, I'm all for your relationship, but I'm still worried…mostly about you"
"I'm going to be fine" Sakura stood up "I'll marry him, sooner or later" and she walked out.
"Does he know she actually thinks this way?" Tsunade frowned, watching Sakura disappear behind the cafeteria door.
"I…hope he does"
-x-
"He had a renal bleed. And he also can barely move his fingers on arms, cause his joints hurt" Karin reported as soon as Sasuke and Temari joined them at the office.
"Joint pain is the least of his proglems. His kidneys are fried" Shikamaru added, handing Sasuke the file "he's going to need dialysis for the rest of his life"
"Granted, it will be a short one" the Uchiha sighed and put the symptom on the whiteboard "so…what does this constellation of symptoms tell us?"
"Nothing. He's…dying" Temari sighed.
"Yeah, that's right, I almost forgot. What could it be besides that?!"
"Sasuke, we can't solve this case" Karin closed to him "go home, have some sleep and get to your wedding not looking like a beaten bag"
"Yeah, you know what?!" Sasuke's tone was angry and annoyed at the same time with his eyes showing fury that made Karin take few steps backwards "you three go home and let me think. Your useless whining that he's going to die is less than no help"
"Sasuke, you can't-"
"No, I can! I know my wedding's tomorrow and I'm well aware that my personal life that I finally got is crumbling without even starting. I'm also aware that if I don't try hard enough, this guy won't have any life left. So, my point is: get OUT!"
The three stood there for a minute, then slowly, one by one, left the office, taking their coats. Karin stopped at the mid-door and watched Sasuke's back for a while, then sighed and left after Temari and Shikamaru.
3 hours later…
Tsunade entered Sasuke's office, which now was lit by narrow rays for a fading daylight. She leaned onto a low bookshelf that stood to the right of the door and watched him think for a while.
"Is it really worth it? This patient?" she finally spoke.
"Go away" Sasuke answered, not even bothering to turn to her "I already had this conversation with the three idiots who I sent home"
"That was really stupid of you"
"They had been doing nothing but whining since the case started"
"And you think you can solve this on your own?" Tsunade shot an eyebrow w up.
"I've been doing a lot better until you came" Sasuke finally turned his head to face her.
"I've increased the patient's dose of morphine. He seems to be handling it" Tsunade sighed "go home. Sakura's waiting for you"
"Are you throwing me off the case?" Sasuke stood up, his tired look once again firing up with annoyance.
"Unless you leave in five minutes, I will" Tsunade threatened, but her voice was silent, calm and tired "you have a chance with Sakura. Don't waste it"
"If I go, this guy will DIE! Is this your idea of a wedding gift?!!"
"There are illnesses and cases you can't figure out" Tsunade's voice remained calm "you're not god"
"Obviously" Sasuke sighed and took his backpack and coat "at least Sakura understands that I have to choose between medicine and her"
"And how long do you think she'll stand it?" Tsunade folded arms on her chest "she's a human being. What's more, she's a woman and just like any other woman, she required attention. You have to understand that"
"You think I don't?"
"Obviously not. If you did, you would have transferred this case to somebody else days ago" Tsunade turned to leave "go home and cry over the guy if you like. Just get there. I'll see you tomorrow at your wedding" and she banged the door close: the glass almost fell out.
Sasuke watched her leave, then turned to the whiteboard for the last time and by putting the coat on, he left.
-x-
Back at Sasuke's home (well, and Sakura's now too), Sakura was sitting behind the kitchen table, looking at the pile of slowly cooling down pancakes. Jules was also sitting in front of her, cleverly watching her blink the minutes away. A muted tapping sound indicated that Lightening Macqueen was around here too, possibly waiting for his part of Swiss cheese.
Sakura sighed and turned her eyes to the cat.
"Do you think he'll come home, or I will really have to move to the plan B?"
Jules purred silently for a reply.
"Yeah, me too. I can draw pretty much anywhere, yet he's practically sacrificing his life for this marriage" she rubbed her forehead "I feel like crap because of this"
Suddenly, a door banged closed and firm steps tapped through the stone tiles in the hallway. Sakura heard a body collapsing onto the couch. She sighed in relief and walked to the living-room…only to find Sasuke, completely tired and guilt-print.
"Hey" she whispered and sat by him on the couch "I thought you wouldn't show up"
"Well, it's either I showed up or Tsunade would have thrown me off the case" he sighed and Sakura could feel the heaviness his breath pushed out of his body and soul.
"The guy's still dying, huh?" Sakura took his hand into his softly. She could feel his tired fingers wrapping around hers.
"I don't know what he has"
"I want to help you" Sakura whispered out. As Sasuke turned to her, he could see her green eyes, filling up with tears "but I can't. It's like…I'm a dead weight on your shoulders"
"Don't say that. This is my fault" he turned her face to himself, gently pushing it with his fingers "you don't have to bare this burden"
"Yeah, but I am" Sakura gulped the ball that was stuck in her throat "there are two things I bare" she brushed away the tears and smiled to Sasuke's puzzled look.
"I get the part where you feel guilty about slowing me down…which is a Krypton away from the truth" Sasuke no longer felt sleepy or tired or guilty. Worry and interest caught up with him immediately.
"I, uh, arrived for our lunch today a bit earlier" Sakura began, still smiling softly "I needed to get those blood tests that were asked by the civil marriage office. And, um, I found out something…interesting"
"Care to share?" Sasuke frowned, feeling all worried.
That smile could really be a double-edged sword. Either she feels happy about something, or she feels irony in the matter…if it's the second one, can I please book a bed in psych ward in advance? Cause if she has cancer, I will go crazy.
"Yeah" Sakura stoop up and walked to one of the bookcase drawers. She took something out and hid it, so Sasuke wouldn't see.
I was actually expecting some convoluted blood tests' results. For the first time in the long time I felt my heart throbbing like having a heart attack. Which was weird and…well… exciting.
Sakura walked back to Sasuke and stopped in front of him, her smile not going away.
"I, uh, didn't plan to find this out until after we're married but…"
"Can you cut the introduction and move to the point? Cause I'm really impatient when it comes to information" Sakura sighed and reached out her arm, handing Sasuke a…
"Baby shoe?" his mind suddenly turned on and, calculations running wild. His surprised eyes found their way to Sakura's, which were now filled with tears of happiness.
"Yeah. Our firs one" she whispered, barely holding laughter of happiness.
"You knew I was going to marry you either way, right?" Sasuke laughed and pulled Sakura into his embrace. He kissed her softly, almost carefully.
"I knew you will. I never doubted you" Sakura locked her fingers with his "and now I know you have a reason to not turn around at the altar and run away"
"Oh, so the baby is my leach? You thought I wasn't satisfied with you so…" he suddenly stopped, fixing his gaze on their locked hands.
"What is it?" Sakura asked, frowning at his dot-glued gaze.
"The patient had soaring joints" he said his thought out loud. Then a smirk slid into his lips and he pulled out a cell phone from his pocket "yeah. About that leach thing" he kissed her lightly "I couldn't have imagined a better one"
"What about the patient?" Sakura cocked an eyebrow.
"I believe I'll spend tonight in peace" he dialed a number "I mean, we can still have sex, until the joy is bundled out, right?"
"As much as you like" Sakura purred, much like Jules.
"Great" Sasuke put the cell phone to his ear "hey, listen, about that morphine thing? Could you change it into something, useful? Like a cure for hemochromatosis…yes, I'm sure. First, his rage was triggered by hypogodanism, which messed with hormones. That one was obvious, because he had undersized testes" Sasuke could feel Sakura's lips on his neck already and felt like being in heaven: hard-ass sex meets solved medical mystery.
Maybe there is a god.
"His liver failed a day after his psychotic break and then the soars started, followed by a kidney failure. It all fits…thank you, oh grand employer" Sasuke flipped his cell phone closed and threw it on the table "so, where were we?"
He slid his hand down Sakura's shirt-covered breasts while kissing her, stopping at the low part of her belly. She stopped the kiss and put her hand onto his.
"Worried?" Sakura whispered, kissing his cheek.
"No…two things on my mind: how to get you naked and what if he…or she…won't like me"
Sakura scoffed and placed his palm on her right breast.
"Focus on the first issue for now" and leaned on him to restart the kiss.
Alright, I'm gonna be a father, a husband and I'll continue to be an evil genius.
Man, do I love this life!
-x-
The next morning…
Itachi was watching from the bed how Karin slides on her dark red dress and fixes her hair.
"You sure you don't wanna go?" she asked again, just to make sure.
"I'm sure no survivors will be left if I went" Itachi sat up, gazing into distance "although I might be interested in how Sakura looks like"
Karin froze for a while. Then an understanding smile found its way to her reddish lips.
He still thinks about her, huh? Well, that's not bad at all. Means he's actually capable to fall in love.
Karin walked back to the bed and sat on the edge.
I'm going to make you fall in love with me.
"Why don't you go, but do not show yourself? It's quite pathetic and creepy, but…you'll get to see her"
"How come you read my thoughts?" Itachi sighed and looked up at Karin with thankful look "I'll take a quick shower"
"Sure" she kissed him lightly before he went.
Have no choice…cause I'm already in love with you.
1 hour later…
Surprisingly, it was a very warm morning of the 10th of March as Sakura walked in the crowded dock by the ocean and made her way to the end of the wooden path…where Sasuke Uchiha was standing.
I put on that white dress that day…and went to a wedding where I was the happiest person in the world. Not only because the whether was perfectly warm, or the setting was perfect, or that I felt like floating above all the ocean water, or that many people I love gathered there…it was also because the person at the end of the carpet was the one I made happy. And for once…for that one day, he left his misery at work.
He asked me before the ceremony started whether this is all I have ever wanted. I said, to his surprise, no. Then, to his joy, I said it was more…much more.
I love you, Sasuke Uchiha.
Come what may.