Me- this is one of my favourite stories i have ever written. well i didnt write it all. with the help of my great friend Bonnie we wrote this funny and interesting story. enjoy.
Me- i dont own Harry Potter or anything except for unfamiliar characters such as Alex Granger. my friend Bonnie owns Hayley Black, Shelly Lupin, Jesse Black and Ashley Lupin.
DAY 1:
-12 Grimmauld place was usually a quiet place unless someone was going through a phase. And who had to put up with it? Mrs Weasley.-
Day 1:
"MMOOOO" said a voice ringing through the house.
"What was that?" asked Alex.
"It was Sirius going through his cow phase."
Answered Remus, in a bored tone.
Remus sighed, putting his book down.
"Everyone in a while, Sirius and James usually went through a week of acting weird. Like when teenagers go around all poppy for a while, or acting weirdly. This is day 1, the cow phase."
"MOOOO" Sirius said, crawling in on all fours.
He crawled over to the cats bowl and drunk the water.
"Oh have mercy!"
said Hermione, Ashley, Alex and Ginny, covering their mouths running out. Remus stood up, got some lettuce out of the fridge, washed it and fed it to Sirius.
"My father did this?" asked Harry.
"Yes he did, if he was here, he'd do the same thing as Sirius."
"MOOOO!"
said Sirius with a frown.
Remus sighed and with spello-tape, taped plastic horns to Sirius's head, to make him look like a bull. Hayley and Shelly each raised an eyebrow.
"That once happened. Sirius once had an Afro that was red and gold. So did James, during fifth year."
Said Hayley.
Mrs. Weasley walked into the room.
"Molly, I'll be making Sirius's dinner today." Said Remus.
"Why is that?" asked Mrs. Weasley.
"MOOOO" Mrs. Weasley looked at Sirius and said,
"Sirius Black, get up off the floor, you are not a bull!"
"He is today." Harry, Ron and Draco chorused together.
"Which is scary." Added Jesse.
"MOOOO" said Sirius and went to finish his lettuce.
When he finished it, he fell asleep on his hands and knees, with his eyes open.
"He never ceases to amaze me." Tonks said.
"He and James could sleep with their eyes open. They once did it through Transfiguration." Said Remus.
"MOOO MOOO MOOO" snored Sirius.
DAY 2:
Sirius was nowhere to be found. Harry, Ron, Jesse and Draco thought Sirius's weird phases had finished so they went fishing. They were down at the creek for 10 minutes when Ron yelled out,
"I got a bite."
The fish was really strong so Ron fell in the water. Draco, Jesse and Harry started laughing.
Draco grabbed the fishing rod and pulled as hard as he could. A fish didn't come out of the water, Sirius did. Harry and Jesse's mouths dropped in horror.
They put Sirius in a big net and dragged him back to the house. They dragged him up the stairs to his room and put him in there.about 10 minutes later when everyone was having lunch they heard,
BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!
Mrs. Weasley looked and said,
"I think Sirius is making the call of the wild." People were giggling.
Sirius slid into the kitchen on his belly. Remus shook his head and said,
"Let me introduce you to Sirius the new Moby Dick! And the whale phase!" people were giggling.
Sirius looked bloated in the face. People were staring at him. Suddenly water sprayed out of Sirius's mouth, people giggled.
Mrs. Weasley's eye twitched as Sirius slid out the door. Everything went quiet. Suddenly they heard Sirius trying to speak whale. People laughed. Alex and Hermione looked at eachother and said together,
"He's speaking whale?"
DAY 3:
Today, Remus was looking around for Sirius. Narcissa then asked him,
"Remus dear, what's the matter?"
"Looking for Sirius. I think he'll be doing two different things today."
Just then, Sirius walked into the room. There was one problem. He looked around 8 or 9 months pregnant, wearing a maternity dress.
He got a plate out of the cupboard and piled food on to it and sat down. As he was eating, he turned to Jesse and Hayley and said,
" So what's it going to be like being a mum again and a brother?"
Mrs. Weasley raised an eyebrow.
"You know, Said Sirius, If my baby is a girl, I'll name her-" "Minerva Jr. and if a boy, Albus Jr." Finished Remus.
"Exactly!" Said Sirius raising his fork into the air.
When he finished eating, he put his hand into his pocket and pulled out his stick people, named James and Remmie.
"Well James, Remmie, anytime soon you'll be uncles."
Later on, they heard screaming and then Sirius yelled out,
"MY WATER BROKE!"
Remus groaned, and with everyone else, they went into the lounge room to see Sirius, lying on the lounge, his legs on the arm of the lounge, Snape next to him shaking his head.
"Okay Sirius, breath slowly." Said Remus walking over to him.
After 10 minutes of Sirius screaming at Hayley,
"You did this to me! Where's James when I need him!"
and pushing, from under the dress on the belly part came out one of Tonks's old dolls.
"Sirius, your baby is a girl." Said Remus,
handing the doll over to Sirius. He sighed and said,
"Minerva Black. Jesse, come and hold your little sister."
J
esse, trying to hold in the laughing, held the doll and gave it to Harry and then back to Sirius. Sirius then said,
"Hayley, come and hold your new baby daughter Minerva."
Hayley did so and then said, "I'll put the baby to sleep.
You sleep the rest of the day."
That finished by midday. The other half of the day, they didn't see him once.
At night, Narcissa was in the bathroom and Snape was already in bed. He suddenly heard a familiar voice say,
"Hello Severus."
"Huh?" mumbled Snape.
"Behind and above you." Snape turned around to see Sirius being the shape of a bed head.
"What are you doing Black?" asked Snape angrily.
"I'm a bed head, but I can't stay long, I've got to be a bed head somewhere else."
He then ran out giggling, still in the maternity clothes. Narcissa walked in and looked at Snape suspiciously.
"Severus, who was that? I hope that wasn't another woman.
Are you having an affair? I swear I saw a flowery dress flutter on the way out."
"Don't worry Cissa, It was just your very troubled cousin being a bed head." Groaned Snape.
Mrs. Weasley finally got into bed. She was drifting off to sleep when she heard a voice say,
"Molly, Molly, Ohh MOOOOOLLLLLLLLLY!"
Mrs. Weasley sat up and looked behind her to see Sirius, being a bed head.
"I'm a bed head." Sirius said.
"Get out Sirius!" growled Mrs. Weasley.
Sirius leaned in, kissed Mrs. Weasley on the nose and ran out giggling.
Mr. Weasley walked in.
"Why was Sirius in our room?"
Mr. Weasley asked. Mrs. Weasley laid back down twitching and said,
"He was a bed head."
DAY 4:
No one bothered to look for Sirius the next morning. Hayley walked into the kitchen yawning and said,
"Sirius disappeared off somewhere this morning"
everyone turned to Remus, who had a piece of toast sticking out of his mouth.
He swallowed it and grinned.
"Isn't Professor McGonagall visiting today?"
"Yes." They all chorused.
Remus grinned again. Sirius then walked in. He was wearing pretend reading glasses, straight, clean robes and his hair was in a tight bun.
He looked like Professor McGonagall. He walked around the room and spotted Ron.
"Mr. Weasley, don't eat with your mouth open."
He then looked at Harry and Remus.
"Wipe that smirk off your face." But they weren't even smirking.
DING DONG!
Mrs. Black started screaming. Remus and Snape sighed and went to close her portrait. Mrs. Weasley growled and said,
"That better not be Mundungus with more stolen junk."
And she walked out. The screaming stopped. Then, Mrs. Weasley, Remus, Snape and Minerva McGonagall walked into the kitchen.
"Is that you Mr. Black?" asked McGonagall looking at Sirius.
"Excuse me, said Sirius firmly,
Do I look like Sirius Black to you? I am Minerva McGonagall."
"Excuse me?"
"I am Minerva McGonagall." Sirius repeated.
"Fine then Minerva McGonagall, said McGonagall, with emphasis on Minerva, turn into your animagus form."
"Okay, fine." Said Sirius. He transformed into Padfoot and then back.
"Aha!" McGonagall said with a triumphant smirk.
"You're a dog, not a cat!"
"Yes, well,
I was the best Transfiguration student in my year! I am the Hogwarts Transfiguration teacher and the Gryffindor head teacher."
McGonagall raised an eyebrow.
"And of course, I win." And Sirius walked out.
"Professor, Remus said, Don't you remember that day in forth year when James and Sirius were acting like you?"
"Yes."
"We call it the McGonagall phase."
That night, in Hermione's room, Hermione went to bed. She layed down and closed her eyes. Suddenly, something warm layed down on her. She opened her eyes to see Sirius grinning at her, wearing a bedspread cover.
"I'm a bedspread." said Sirius said.
He got off her, ran towards the door giggling, tripped over running into the door giggling and ran out the door giggling.
Hayley was lying in bed, her eyes closed. She was drifting off when suddenly, something warm layed on her.
She opened her eyes to see Sirius grinning at her.
"I'm a bed spread."
He was about to get up when Hayley wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.
DAY 5:
Today Sirius walked into the kitchen at grimmauld place. And he looked about 3 years old. Alex and Hermione started to giggle. Hayley's mouth dropped and Mrs. Weasleys eye started to twitch. Sirius walked up to molly Weasley and said,
"hi! I'm Sirius, I'm only 3 ½ years old."
For once Mrs. Weasley smiled and she said,
"at least he won't be complicated at this age."
"IM THIRSTY, IM THIRSTY, IM THIRSTY!" Remus brought Sirius a drink.
"IM HUNGARY, IM HUNGARY, IM HUNGARY!"
Remus finally said,
"What do you want Sirius." Sirius smiled,
"Macaroni and cheese."
So remus went and made it. Sirius sat at the table waiting, remus walked back in, Sirius said,
"to much macaroni."
Remus went out and brought more back in, Sirius said,
"More cheese." Remus walked back out and made more,
"More macaroni." Remus walked out once more and made more,
"Less cheese." Remus, being really angry by now made more.
When he walked out with the plate of food, Sirius picked up the plate of food and shoved it in Remus's face, and said,
"I hate macaroni and cheese."
Sirius got up and walked out giggling. He saw harry and he clung to his legs and screamed out,
"James! Your lookin' tall."
A tear ran down Harry's cheek as he squeezed out of Sirius's grip and hugged Ginny. Harry finally spoke,
"oh doesn't he look so gorgeous as a baby."
And harry picked him up and began to kiss him all over. Sirius started to scream,
"Hey get off, stop it James, I'm not gay!"
Sirius then saw Ron and jumped out of Harry's arms and tackled him, he then began to whack Ron's head screaming,
"Fire!" Sirius then saw Draco and said,
"get out of my house Lucius you cockroach!" Draco shuddered and said,
:Don't call me that, I'm not my father, AKA cockroach."
And he walked away. Hermione then walked in. Sirius began to blush. He ran up to Hermione and began to kiss her all over. Hermione looked horrified. Alex, Ashley and Ginny began to giggle. Sirius looked at Hermione and said,
"Your pretty! I like you!" Remus
began to laugh but Hermione looked shocked.
Hermione said,
"sorry Sirius, but…IM married."
"James, Sirius said, why are you so tall?" harry stared at Sirius. "
Sirius, that's harry, James's son, James and lily passed away many years ago." Said Remus sadly.
Sirius went and sat in the corner and started to cry. Surprisingly Mrs. Weasley walked over and hugged Sirius. She took him up stairs and put him to bed. The next day he turned back..