A/N: Yes people, you are allowed to kick my ass, if you might ever see me because I am horrible for not updating for so long. And starting something new? What am I thinking anyway? I can't even work 3 stories, what makes me think this will help. ... But look on the brighter side, there's a 'Heartbeats' chapter finished and it's with my beta, but he's a very busy man, so it can take a while to get back. Plus I am working on a new 'Coming to Terms' chapter.

About this, well the summary pretty much chapter the main idea. I was pretty statisfied with this chapter until I got the M-rated part and I think I didn't use the angst as fully as it deserves, so please give it a shot and I hope you maybe enjoy it a little. By the way, everything in italic are LP-quotes ;-) The title from the story is a line from the very sexy Matt Nathanson song 'Come on Get Higher'.

I'll respond to the reviews (while I actually don't deserve one for being such a bad girl), but it can take time since I leave on vacation with my friends today and I'll return Friday evening. But I'll answer the reviews, like always, because I love you guys pretty damn muh and I wouldn't know what to do without you.

One last thing before I let you read what my mind presented, and it's getting old, but my readers know that, but the ones probably don't. I live in Belgium, I speak Dutch and English is just a language I learn in school just like I learn French&German, so there are mistakes in here and it's not beta-ed so it might be a lot of mistakes. I hope you don't mind ... now I'll let you guys read. Enjoy ... much love Veronique aka GirlinTheCafe

(5x08) What We Can't Sacrifice

I was reminded today in a roundabout way that the most perfect act of love is sacrifice.

Lucas still heard those tearful words ring in his ear with the volume of something shattering into billions of pieces.

Be happy Luke. I want that with all my heart.

That was what was shattering in imaginary pieces in front of him, his heart. His lifelong broken and damaged heart.

Happy.

He realised he could never be happy without her by his side.

The harsh noise of her heels against the wooden floor was like the bullet repeated, that had almost taken her away from him.

Through his blue misted eyes he saw her walk away from him. Distance herself from him. Slowly but surely walk out of his life.

And from the first moment his heart's rate picked up, with that first beat that set the nervous pace, in that same moment came the realisation that he couldn't let her walk away, never.

He couldn't understand that he ever let her.

This was … True Love Always. Always Lucas, that's what we were supposed to have.

It is what they are supposed to have. And if Lucas let her walk through that door right now, he would for certain, never have it.

He wanted to have; better, he needed it since he was now and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer.

And at that point, what that realisation jamming in his thoughts, he began to run after her to catch her right before the doors of the exit.

She felt his presence behind her but before she could even turn around he had cornered between his body and the bleachers.

Before she could even bring something out, his lips were pressed against hers, hard.

First her lips were immovable from the shock from the rush of events, but when his wet tongue traced over her upper lip she crashed herself in the kiss with all she had.

Everything she had been feeling for the past years, the past months. All the pain and confusion she poured into the heart touching kiss.

Lucas growled as Peyton inevitably broke their kiss in need of air.

"Luke." She said, big eyes looking at him. She was about to change her mind, put a stop on this.

But he couldn't let her, he couldn't hear: I'll be seeing you again.

He wouldn't hear that, ever again.

A word bubbled up in her throat. A word of protest. He knew, with his eyes closed.

But nothing, okay? That's where we're at right now.

Nothing, which was exactly the description of what they had right now. Or not had right now.

If he hadn't been so stupid in that hotel room in L.A. If he hadn't reacted so insecure and immature, if he hadn't let his hurt man pride get in the way. No boy pride, if he had been a real man, he would have gotten over his sorry ass and respected her logic, her truth. They still would be here right now. But definitely not in this way.

Than this upcoming event wouldn't be about angst.

There would be no desperation when his head buried itself against the junction of neck and shoulder. There would be playful daring instead, daring to make incredibly lustful love in a place where they both had spend so many hours together but yet apart. The only desperation there would be was one to make up for all the time they had spent gazing at each presence, inwardly getting all sexy on the bleachers.

Hands wouldn't be clinging at each other as if they were falling into a put from which they knew the soil would be cruel and hard when they reached it with a load bang. Instead hands would hold on for steadiness. The reflection of the steadiness they felt inside, which would mirror into their physical relationship.

Eyes wouldn't be half open and half shut by the overload on their hyper sensitive senses caused by their minds frantic to progress and save every look, touch, action and feeling from this moment. Blue and green needing to know that this was really happening, not a way too real fantasy of desire playing tricks with their minds. When eyes were supposed to wanting to capture every move of the lust and never abandoned love they should be feeling at this moment.

There wouldn't be forming a hickey on her delicate skin caused by nearly painful biting, nibbling and sucking. Instead it would be teasing; the bruised skin would be soothed by velvet caresses of his wet tongue.

That all, when this wouldn't about angst and regret, but about love in a long-term relationship they were supposed to be in.

But now, his head was sliding towards her collarbone. His ragged breath ghosting against it, making Peyton's skin bath in goose bumps. As her shaking hands fumble to undo the buttons of his button-down, Lucas on the other side was fed up with trying as he just tore that ridiculous brown sleeveless piece of clothing of her arching body. Peyton's green eyes were wide in surprise of his fury as his blue ones caressed butterfly kisses against the skin of her shoulder. In the meantime had begin working on another love bite. His white teeth grazing the thin skin time after time, creating such a painful pleasure to run through her veins. He was branding her, a fact that she absolutely didn't mind. She wanted to be his again, all his again. And he was definitely intending on doing that.

A gasp of enjoyment escaped Peyton when Lucas made the button of her jeans pop open. The damn thing needed to get off right now, was all Lucas could thing.

What did you watch?

Your legs, mostly.

Her fucking damn legs, he needed them exposed, right now. The miles and miles of smooth flesh he had always adored.

For where I was hiding, they looked pretty awesome.

Where the heck had he been hiding for the past years? Not somewhere where he could watch them, for sure.

Finally he had gotten her rid of the pair of jeans and his hand came up like the one of a puppet on the string, ready to run over the newly exposed flesh.

Nice hands.

His enormous, rough yet soft hand slid over her lean leg, starting at place where her high heeled shoes ended up to her buttock.

Nice legs.

His fingertips started to play with the edge of her panties. Her body reacted immediately, sucking in a shaky breath. She was losing it, and it clearly displayed in the way her hands were tucking on his shirt carelessly.

Her slender fingers were trembling uncontrollable, making it a hard task to unbutton his shirt. Lucas' chest was moving up and down fast in indescribable lust that her touch urged on.

As long as her touch moved at least, but now it was lingering and not in a good way. It made him impatient; it made the chains break one by one that caged the beast inside of him.

As she again failed to unbutton his shirt, he decided to help her out. He swiftly started unbuttoning the buttons on top as she kept trying to undo the lowest ones. The shirt was soon out and ungracefully thrown on the gym floor.

The jeans on the other side were unbuttoned and down to his ankles before he could even blink. In her growing hunger for him she had yanked his boxers down with the jeans too, exposing the erection she had felt through the pants to her eyes.

Her breath caught in her throat seeing his little love soldier standing on full attention. She was simply mesmerised. Her hand reached out and she let her fingers stroke over him while the look in her eyes was the same as a young girl that loved ponies, got to pet a one for the first time. But Peyton didn't love ponies, but something else and Lucas was more like a stallion.

He was as perfect as she remember. Maybe even more.

Aging looked good on him. His slight stubble made him look so manly; instead of the teenage boy he had been when they had decided to go separate ways. Or he had decided. His body had developed nicely, it wasn't the one of an athlete, but it had muscles in all the right places. With his dark blond hair done neatly but yet playful. He looked like the almost the same as the boy she had met, the boy who fixed her car, the boy she had fallen in love with. But there was one thing that had remained entirely the same. Those breath-stealing, mirror-like, diamond blue eyes hadn't lost their spark.

She didn't get the opportunity to think about any longer as Lucas yanked at her undies. Peyton's mind was too busy to catching up with reality that she couldn't stop Lucas from tearing her panties from her body.

Before she could even make a sound his mouth was on hers again, claiming her lips in a passionate kiss. While their tongues went wrestling for ultimate dominance, Peyton's bare leg hooked around his waist on cue. They trusted their upper bodies together when Lucas helped her to hook her other long leg around his bare hips.

Her arms clung around his neck tightly when she felt his tip brush against her already damp centre. There would be no foreplay this time, not a chance, just raw 'I-need-you-fucking-damn-much' sex. With the way he made his tip brush between her wet folds was pure torture. Evil, cruel torment that made her want to scream out in agony but before she even could, he trusted inside her in one smooth movement, filling her up to the hilt.

She held her breath for a second and than followed the 'oh God'.

Slowly he withdrew from her, watching her face as it wore an expression between pain and pleasure. Pain of taking in his more than average length and her walls protesting to adjust the size of him inside of her. It had been a long time since she had been with a man, and definitely not with his amount of inches.

But pleasure at his sensual thrusts causing her to scratch her polished nails down the skin of his back. Every caress such as a kiss or a trust or a touch of a hand made her gasp and groan out in pure need of him, of sexual release.

It wouldn't last long. There was never a way this could last long anyway. Peyton's body was so tense with all the pent-up sexual frustration she had felt the past years, all her yearning for him. Lucas himself was too into this right now, every time he had fantasised about her the past years, weeks, months, days, hours had brought him closer the inevitable edge.

"Luke." She kept repeating his favourite pet name every time he brushed against her special pleasure spot.

"Blondie." He brought out between covering her jaw with hot, open-mouth kisses.

They were so close, so incredibly close. Every stroke of his manhood in her womanhood was a promise.

I'm not leaving you Peyton.

I want you to stay but I won't let you. Do you know why? Because I told you before... You're destined for greatness and it starts tomorrow morning.

It doesn't whether I stay or I go. I'm gonna love you forever Lucas Scott

I want to be here. I want to have everything with you. I want it all. I want us, Peyton.

When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me. It's you. It's you Peyton.

That day, the most blissful and terrifying day of her life flashed back, along with all the other days she had felt treasured and love by Lucas Scott. She felt him flying over the edge with such a force that it obligated her to hold on tight. Just like she had done the good old times the past years.

Absorbing the intensity of his release, she exploded herself, sobbing and wishing this wasn't some illusion that would soon spat as her pleasure had.

Silence covered them as a blanket. They both held onto each other for a little longer before letting go. Gazes flew around and upon each other. Taking in their sweat drenched bodies, still not shed of every piece of clothing. Lips swollen, hair a mess, skin flushed, chests heaving.

And than their eyes met.

Emerald green eyes screaming: We just...we got carried away. It didn't mean anything.

Diamond blue ones asking: It didn't?

Emerald green eyes looking intensely at the diamond blue ones, answering him truthfully as they always had done: Of course it did.

Lucas felt numb, numb when he thought about the outside world, where she who shall not be named, was waiting for him to come home.

His brain, which had been in denial for so long, seemed to be plugged out by Peyton's words and actions.

But his heart, his forever damaged and broken heart. It was beating against his strong chest felt as renewed, refreshed, and reborn.

They didn't speak, not a word at all. Lucas just looked at her, with his love-carrying eyes, and tenderly brushed a curl away from her face. Then his lips brushed against her temple, soothing her brain that was going like ten thousand miles an hour, like he only could and always had done.

But I'm with you, Lucas. You know that, and I'll wait forever if I have to.

Emerald and diamond met one last, never so full of love.

What? And miss out on being with you?

A/N: Okay, I forgot to mention something on top. I am making a list with scenes I could give the same treatment as this one. I have already some scenes in mind, but I am dying to hear what you think was a missed chance for our two favorite blonds going all sexy.

If you enjoyed, please review. If you didn't, you can always tell me why ... I am open to critic.