The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm
Disclaimer: I do not own any units here, they are owned by Blizzard Entertainment, 1998-2003
Everybody sits down, a Hydralisk guard is checking the tickets, a Marine doesn't have one and is shoved out
Zergling: Welcome to The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm, a program dedicated to telling all of you how we, the Jormungand Brood Zergs go about our daily lives!
Hydralisk 1: I'm jealous. The Zergling can be a host of a show. I wish to be the host.
Zergling: Oh, I heard that. You can be my co-host for this show.
Hydralisk 1: Thank you, Zergy.
Hydralisk 2: This Zergling's friendly. I like him.
On stage, some Drones are putting some air inflated models of Zerg Buildings
Mutalisk: This ain't right. We ought to have creep around the Zerg Buildings.
Zergling: I know. OK, stand clear!
PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT!
The sprinkler system of the auditorium spits out some purple slimy stuff
Hydralisk co-host: OK, lets start!
Two drones pull out an air inflated eyeball
10 Yellow Zealots: Whats that eyeball?
Zergling: Ahem. It's our Overmind.
Zealots: Oh, I know the Garm Brood Overmind. He wanted to kill the entire Protoss Race.
Zergling: I know. Our purple one's a friendly version. He helps only the good guys for a rate of 150 minerals and gas /month.
Dukey: Good to hear. We could hire you all for 3 months to help destroy the Sons of Korhal.
Drone: Ok, now do you see this swimming pool with green slimy water?
Zealots: YES, we do.
Commercial
Announcer: Hi folks, today we have the Cutey Droney¨ brand Zergling Food! Never let those cute creatures go hungry again!
A picture of a Zealot patting a Zergling and the Zergling is eating the food flashes on screen
Paid Audience: Wow! Nice! Cool! Kick @$$! 1000 Rewards to Cutey Droney!
Announcer: Now, see? Even the Protoss can be friends to the Zerg with Cutey Droney¨ Zergling Food! To order, call (886) 452-ZERG! We will cover the toll charges for you. Get yours today for just 20 Minerals and we will include a FREE Jormungand Zergling interactive pet, talking plushie and the Zerg ScreenSaver collection CD-ROM!!
Back to The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm
Probes: Not so loud, dear Zealots.
Zealots: Good Probes. We haven't been call 'dear' in a while.
Zealots give Probes a big bear hug
Wraith Pilot: That's silly. They're robots. They have no feelings.
Probes: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Wraith Pilot: Nothing, nothing.
Drone: Ok, this is the Spawning Pool, in which our Hatchery needs in order to make Zerglings. Without it, your host won't be here today.
Zealots and Marines: What does your Hatchery hatch? Chickens? Ducks? Kangarooes? Eagles? Bears? Dinosaurs?
Drone: Ok, I'll explain. See this thingy near the mineral chunks?
Firebats: Where are the mineral chunks?
Drone: HEY, ULTRALISK, WHY DIDN'T YOU INFLATE THE MINERAL CHUNKS?
Ultralisk: Sorry, having problem with the damn air pump here.
Drone: Never mind.
The Drone lifts up a sloppy mineral chunk with its top folding over to the side
Marines: You call that Minerals?
Drone: Make do with it. Its not inflated and the air pump isn't working.
Ultralisk: I've got the air pump fixed with the help of Zergy.
Zergling: Please, STOP calling me Zergy!
Drone: Give that to me.
The Drone inflates the sloppy mineral chunk
Marines: That's more like it.
OK, this is the Hatchery. You see the caterpillar thingys crawling on the floor?
6 Zealots run up on stage to take a closer look
Zealot 1 is holding up a larva for everyone to see
Zealot 1: See this? It's a Zerg Larva.
PFFTTT
Zealot 1: What happened?
Zealot 2: You pierced the air inflated Larva.
Zealot 1: Sorry Zergling. I hope it's ok.
Zergling: If you break 1 more, you'll have to pay 5 minerals.
Zealot 1: That's peanuts.
Zealot 1 tosses a few mineals at Zergling
Zergling: Thank you, dear Zealot.
Zealot 1 gives Zergling a HH--UU--GG--EE bear hug
Marines: First time I saw a Protoss Zealot hug a Zerg Zergling.
Everyone: HA HA HA HA HEE HAW HAW HA HEE HAW HA HEE HAW HAW HA HA HA HAW HEE HEE HAW HA HA HA HAW HEE HEE...
5 min 50 secs later
Zealot 1 turns red in the face, sits down on stage and cries
Zealot 1: Boo hoo hoo.
Zealot 2: What's the matter with you, buddy?
PFFTTT
Zealot 2: Oh dear, you sat on the Hive and burst it!
Everyone except Zealots 1-6 and Fenix: THE TROUBLEMAKER! CHASE HIM OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zergling: Softer folks, but sorry, the show will have to end. The Zealot destroyed the starlight of today's show, the Hive. We will continue tomorrow. You can use today's tickets for tomorrow's show and all of you will get a 5 mineral compensation for the interruption.
Zealot 2: All your fault, bud. I so badly wanted to watch the show.
Fenix: Carry your buddy to my Carrier and I will give him psycological conselling.
Everybody leaves the auditorium
Zergling: Lets clean up, buds. I will bring you all to Hydralisk's Burgers if you finish within 10 mins.
Hydralisk co-host, Drones, Ultralisk, Mutalisk: YAY!
Do you like my story? Stayed tuned to Zerg Channel 45 for tomorrow's epsoide!
TV signal is cut off
If you feel like it, please write a review so I can improve. I hope you enjoyed it :-)
Disclaimer: I do not own any units here, they are owned by Blizzard Entertainment, 1998-2003
Everybody sits down, a Hydralisk guard is checking the tickets, a Marine doesn't have one and is shoved out
Zergling: Welcome to The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm, a program dedicated to telling all of you how we, the Jormungand Brood Zergs go about our daily lives!
Hydralisk 1: I'm jealous. The Zergling can be a host of a show. I wish to be the host.
Zergling: Oh, I heard that. You can be my co-host for this show.
Hydralisk 1: Thank you, Zergy.
Hydralisk 2: This Zergling's friendly. I like him.
On stage, some Drones are putting some air inflated models of Zerg Buildings
Mutalisk: This ain't right. We ought to have creep around the Zerg Buildings.
Zergling: I know. OK, stand clear!
PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT!
The sprinkler system of the auditorium spits out some purple slimy stuff
Hydralisk co-host: OK, lets start!
Two drones pull out an air inflated eyeball
10 Yellow Zealots: Whats that eyeball?
Zergling: Ahem. It's our Overmind.
Zealots: Oh, I know the Garm Brood Overmind. He wanted to kill the entire Protoss Race.
Zergling: I know. Our purple one's a friendly version. He helps only the good guys for a rate of 150 minerals and gas /month.
Dukey: Good to hear. We could hire you all for 3 months to help destroy the Sons of Korhal.
Drone: Ok, now do you see this swimming pool with green slimy water?
Zealots: YES, we do.
Commercial
Announcer: Hi folks, today we have the Cutey Droney¨ brand Zergling Food! Never let those cute creatures go hungry again!
A picture of a Zealot patting a Zergling and the Zergling is eating the food flashes on screen
Paid Audience: Wow! Nice! Cool! Kick @$$! 1000 Rewards to Cutey Droney!
Announcer: Now, see? Even the Protoss can be friends to the Zerg with Cutey Droney¨ Zergling Food! To order, call (886) 452-ZERG! We will cover the toll charges for you. Get yours today for just 20 Minerals and we will include a FREE Jormungand Zergling interactive pet, talking plushie and the Zerg ScreenSaver collection CD-ROM!!
Back to The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm
Probes: Not so loud, dear Zealots.
Zealots: Good Probes. We haven't been call 'dear' in a while.
Zealots give Probes a big bear hug
Wraith Pilot: That's silly. They're robots. They have no feelings.
Probes: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Wraith Pilot: Nothing, nothing.
Drone: Ok, this is the Spawning Pool, in which our Hatchery needs in order to make Zerglings. Without it, your host won't be here today.
Zealots and Marines: What does your Hatchery hatch? Chickens? Ducks? Kangarooes? Eagles? Bears? Dinosaurs?
Drone: Ok, I'll explain. See this thingy near the mineral chunks?
Firebats: Where are the mineral chunks?
Drone: HEY, ULTRALISK, WHY DIDN'T YOU INFLATE THE MINERAL CHUNKS?
Ultralisk: Sorry, having problem with the damn air pump here.
Drone: Never mind.
The Drone lifts up a sloppy mineral chunk with its top folding over to the side
Marines: You call that Minerals?
Drone: Make do with it. Its not inflated and the air pump isn't working.
Ultralisk: I've got the air pump fixed with the help of Zergy.
Zergling: Please, STOP calling me Zergy!
Drone: Give that to me.
The Drone inflates the sloppy mineral chunk
Marines: That's more like it.
OK, this is the Hatchery. You see the caterpillar thingys crawling on the floor?
6 Zealots run up on stage to take a closer look
Zealot 1 is holding up a larva for everyone to see
Zealot 1: See this? It's a Zerg Larva.
PFFTTT
Zealot 1: What happened?
Zealot 2: You pierced the air inflated Larva.
Zealot 1: Sorry Zergling. I hope it's ok.
Zergling: If you break 1 more, you'll have to pay 5 minerals.
Zealot 1: That's peanuts.
Zealot 1 tosses a few mineals at Zergling
Zergling: Thank you, dear Zealot.
Zealot 1 gives Zergling a HH--UU--GG--EE bear hug
Marines: First time I saw a Protoss Zealot hug a Zerg Zergling.
Everyone: HA HA HA HA HEE HAW HAW HA HEE HAW HA HEE HAW HAW HA HA HA HAW HEE HEE HAW HA HA HA HAW HEE HEE...
5 min 50 secs later
Zealot 1 turns red in the face, sits down on stage and cries
Zealot 1: Boo hoo hoo.
Zealot 2: What's the matter with you, buddy?
PFFTTT
Zealot 2: Oh dear, you sat on the Hive and burst it!
Everyone except Zealots 1-6 and Fenix: THE TROUBLEMAKER! CHASE HIM OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zergling: Softer folks, but sorry, the show will have to end. The Zealot destroyed the starlight of today's show, the Hive. We will continue tomorrow. You can use today's tickets for tomorrow's show and all of you will get a 5 mineral compensation for the interruption.
Zealot 2: All your fault, bud. I so badly wanted to watch the show.
Fenix: Carry your buddy to my Carrier and I will give him psycological conselling.
Everybody leaves the auditorium
Zergling: Lets clean up, buds. I will bring you all to Hydralisk's Burgers if you finish within 10 mins.
Hydralisk co-host, Drones, Ultralisk, Mutalisk: YAY!
Do you like my story? Stayed tuned to Zerg Channel 45 for tomorrow's epsoide!
TV signal is cut off
If you feel like it, please write a review so I can improve. I hope you enjoyed it :-)