I don't own Shonen Onmyouji nor do I make money from it.
Spoilers for End
Sleep, Perchance to Dream
The boy slept in his arms. It wasn't the first time. Since that fateful day, Masahiro could never sleep alone without having nightmares. He would wake in cold sweats, weep in his sleep and scream. He was too old to ask for either parent or grandparent, and yet he could not find rest without someone beside him as he'd grown used to for all those years. It would be inappropriate for Akiko to be there even though she was like a sister to him; she was still not a blood relation. The shikigami knew Masahiro would never admit he needed help. He wanted to be strong but he was still a young man and certainly had been through more than most. So almost every night, the shikigami appeared after Masahiro drifted off and slipped down beside him and wrapped the slender youth in his arms.
None of the other shikigami would volunteer either except Genbu, but he did little to calm the boy's nightmares. The same size as the fourteen year old boy, the smallest male Shikigami apparently could not comfort him enough. None of the female shikigami felt it was appropriate. Only one of the larger Shikigami's seemed able to soothe the young master's fears but that left few options. Seiryuu never left Abe no Seime's side and refused to admit the old man's time would come sooner rather than later and Masahiro would become his heir as the next great Onmyouji. The others wouldn't either. One because he never left his own consort, the other was too uncomfortable to offer succor. Neither served Masahiro directly and without Abe no Seime's request, they would not offer help.
And Touda …well Touda was certainly out of the question as he was the cause of the problem to begin with.
The first night he stayed with the boy, Rykugou had also been devastated. He had lost someone too that day. Not someone as close to him as Guren was to Masahiro, but someone he still cared about. Someone who died too young and for all the wrong reasons. He still wore Kazane's necklace as a reminder that life was indeed precious. He had heard Masahiro whimpering in his sleep. As he looked in he saw Mokkun sleeping but far away from the boy as if in mistrust. The boy himself was crying in his sleep calling out for Guren and yet Mokkun just glared at him. Rykugou slipped in and began to stroke the soft fine hair on Masahiro's head and he calmed a bit and turned towards him.
"Who is he?" Mokkun asked.
"He is Seime's grandson." Rykugou answered softly. "He's his heir."
"Huh – doesn't seem like much to me with all that crying. Why do I have to stay here anyways?" the rabbit-like creature asked.
"Because Abe no Seime ordered it." Rykugou glared at him
Since Masahiro gave his life to save Guren, it was no wonder he had nightmares. He only lived now because of the whims of the gods. As Touda, Guren had killed the boy once while under the influence of a soul-binding spell. Yet as Mokkun, the mononoke form that Touda/Guren had assumed all the years while protecting the boy, he was also the boy's best companion. And now to watch Touda, regardless of the form he was in, observe Masahiro with no memory of his past relationship with the boy, broke Rykugou's heart.
The lean shikigami lay down beside the boy each night and wrapped his long arms around him. Each night Masahiro turned to him and clutched Rykugou. As the nightmares began, the older shikigami would stroke the young master's furrowed brow smooth, run lean fingers through his long silky dark hair which blended into Rykugou's brunette at times as they fanned out and tangled across the pillow.
Mokkun would awaken on occasion to watch them as if sifting a memory loose and then shake his head sleepily and drift back off. Consciously he didn't understand why he had to stay with Seime's grandson and complained to anyone that listened about having to babysit brats when they all knew how much he hated children, but Rykugou was sure that, in those moments, Mokkun had brief fleeting glimpses of memory stir and felt the sense of loss.
He certainly had become cooler towards Rykugou since but then he had to everyone since he had lost all his memories as part of the bargain for his life. There were days Rykugou wanted to shake him and tell everything this amazing young man had sacrificed for him. How much he had been loved. That much was evident - Masahiro had loved Guren. Only someone who truly loved another could offer himself up like he had. To be willing to have his own existence erased from everyone just to ease their suffering, to offer up his own life to one who had harmed him. How is that not love?
And in that he realized that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't Mokkun that had always slept with Masahiro. That maybe after the young boy fell asleep, Guren came to the fore and wrapped his long fiery limbs around the boy in a protective grasp as he slept. That Masahiro had become used to having that warmth surround him at night as well as his constant companionship while awake. It would explain much. He hoped he provided enough warmth to compensate. He found he wanted to. He found himself kissing the top of Masahiro's head often. He found himself watching how the moonlight danced over the subtle curves of the boy's face.
He was drawn more and more to the boy and wanted to serve him instead of Abe no Seime. He attained comfort and peace by offering comfort and peace. Mokkun mostly still rejected any overtures of friendship from either Rykugou or Masahiro although he wasn't cruel about it. Just seemed uninterested. It was cruel to Masahiro though even if Guren never understood why.
They had all been forbidden to tell Guren anything about his past. Rykugou missed his fiery friend from past years, but that had been many centuries ago when they had been lovers and he had long gotten over it. For the boy's sake he hoped Guren/Touda would recover his memories but for his own foolish and selfish sake he hoped not. Each day he spent with Masahiro made him want to spend the next day with him, to find ways to soften his lovely brown eyes with joy instead of tears, to see him laugh and smile once more. He wanted to be allowed to love him fully when he became a man. As Seiryuu loved Abe no Seime, he hoped would love Masahiro. He knew someday the brave young man would be a great Onmyouji. He hoped that maybe he would also be a happy one.
He left most mornings just before dawn before the boy would awaken to find him there. He was never sure if Masahiro knew he was there or not.
That morning, he lay there watching the boy smile in his sleep for a change. He carefully brushed a few strands of hair out of Masahiro's eyes before trying to get up. As he moved a small hand grabbed his.
"Don't go," a soft, low voice said.
Rykugou turned in surprise to see soft brown eyes gazing up at him and a sweet smile. Masahiro's hands squeezed Rykugou and he felt his heart squeezed in it.
"Please, stay," Masahiro pleaded softly and Rykugou could not refuse him anymore than he could deny his own breath. He settled back down and rolled onto his side to face him. He searched Masahiro's face, "If you wish young master," he smiled softly.
Masahiro reached over to stroke Rykugou's face just over the triangular marking on his right cheek. "I've always loved that mark," he said quietly and he stroked his thumb lightly across the Shikigami's face. And then he smiled sweetly at Rykugou and drifted back into sleep.
Behind them, Mokkun watched and quietly left the room, but not without glancing back with a tinge of regret. He almost missed Abe no Seime standing there.
"Maybe in time Mokkun, you can join them," the old man smiled down at him.
Mokkun changed into Guren, in all his tall fiery glory and stared hard at him, looked back at the two sleeping figures sadly and walked away, "Who said I wanted to…"
Abe no Seime couldn't help notice though that Guren red glare shown a little less bright than usual. He hoped they would all find their way soon.