A/N: I'm gonna admit it; I love this one-shot.
I love it so much, I would probably marry it if I could.
Why, you ask?
I mean… no smut, no complicated plot, no real character interaction…
Because of something I like to call 'philosophy', 'relativity' and 'character-development' my friends. And, of course, the shounen-ai.
Shounen-ai cannot be forgotten from the equation, my friends. Lol. YOU WILL ENJOY THIS IF YOU LIKE MUSHY ROMANCE LIKE ME AND THAT IS FINAL.
*End Caps Lock*
XD Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Don't own Death Note, now leave me alone.
Title: Waiting
It's those words I cannot say…
The ones lingering just on the tip of my tongue
Aching to simply be released.
Light closed his eyes as he sighed, long auburn strands of hair falling over his face in rivulets of honey-brown.
"I'll be back someday."
Tired, he leaned forward and let his hands cradle his head.
"I probably won't even be gone for very long…"
'It doesn't matter if you eventually come back…' Refusing to look up at the older boy still speaking, Light sighed. 'It doesn't take away the loneliness I know I'll feel.'
"So don't look so down, Light-kun."
Instead of rebuking any of his prior statements, Light wiped off the distressed look on his face and looked up at his best friend, who was staring down at him with a dazed expression that seemed to be more aimed at keeping his own unhappiness from shining through his visage instead of trying to make Light feel better about his leaving.
"Do you know when?" Light tentatively asked as he spread his legs out on the grass, his tiny body relaxed against the large knoll even as his chubby fists grasped at the clumps of dirt etched between his fingers and palms.
The dark-haired boy shook his head, still hanging onto that misplaced face that would later become impenetrable to everyone but the tiny child in front of him.
Lightly brushing back the shining tears already gathering at the corners of his lids, Light smiled up at his friend.
"Whenever you need me, you'll know where to find me."
That's my promise to you.
I hate it;
How could three words
Defeat me, yet when they are
Separate, lose all meaning?
Light sighed as he stared up at the school in front of him, his weary gaze taking it in rather fretfully.
Last day.
Today had been his last day.
Wasn't it supposed to be much more sentimental than this?
There hadn't been any drums or trumpets blaring down upon his exit after years of torturous studies (which hadn't been all that torturous when you took in just who he was), numerous friendships (which hadn't really meant anything to him; in fact, he had forgotten most of their names already) and silent yearnings (everyday had become another day of waiting; another day of hoping that his face would reappear and make everything all that much more… brighter) took their final toll on the teenage boy and he loosened the first two buttons on his school uniform.
'What do I say…?'
Instead of contemplating the nuances of speech still lingering over his tongue, Light shrugged his shoulders and marched away from the large high-school, not a bit of his shuddered hesitancy showing in his smooth gait.
It was just another step he had to take.
There was no use pondering on time lost…
Right?
When I look at you,
I'm fearful;
What would you say if
You could hear the thousand little things
I've cried silently over the years?
He wrote.
And wrote.
And wrote.
Sometimes, the words would blur over and he would feel his fingers tighten along with the sensation cradled within his chest-
What are you doing all this for?
But instead of answering the question, he continued to write.
Years…
Years had passed, and still he was no closer to his answer (what was the question?) than he was all those years back.
Staring down at his notebook, Light ignored his roommate's snoring radiating from the couch and slid his hands back through his hair. Golden-brown tresses slipped through tanned fingers now darkened with black ink.
His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he didn't answer.
He rarely ever did.
The only thing I am able to admit
Without the slightest bit of trepidation-
Breaking News…
Light scoffed as he entered the large police department, bag in hand to give to his father. The woman dressed in uniform situated behind the desk smiled flirtatiously at him as she pointed to the office he was looking for, brownish-green eyes pinpointed on him like a hawk eyeing its prey.
The television on her desk blared loudly, catching the attention of other young officers always looking to see what good (or bad) deed landed their department (potentially) on the news.
Instead of staying to watch with them (he rarely indulged in any programs, let alone the news anymore), Light made his way to his father's office and knocked, his signature smile hanging heavily from his lips.
"Come in!"
Light opened the door with no effort whatsoever, dropping off the item on his father's desk before quickly making his exit.
He had no reason to stay-
Not when his own father practically detested his own presence.
"What do you mean you don't want to be a detective?!"
Light sighed as he stared down at his notebook, hazel eyes tired.
You're doing the right thing…
Nodding his head, Light continued to keep silent even as father's ranting kept going on and on and on…
'Am I still doing the right thing?'
As always, there was no answer.
Walking out of the police station, Light pretended he didn't see the large 'L' imprint now covering the screen, hands shaking with something akin to anger and shame.
'How long…?'
Once again, the silence overrode his thoughts.
If the rest of the world should ever turn its back on you…
Rain dropped down the stranger's head and sloppily landed onto Light's floor as he opened the door of his home, face tightening in recognition.
Puffs of warm breath created small clouds of condensation within the air as those fathomless dark eyes stared right into Light's soul, the action familiar if weathered and tiresome.
'I should be angry…'
A part of Light scowled as his hand automatically reached forward and pulled the man inside, closing the door behind him. The gentle hold showed none of Light's internal conflict; did little to highlight the pain of years full of neglect on the older man's behalf.
The dark-haired man didn't even speak as Light began to strip him of his clothes, pale body shivering from the cold he had endured outside. Shaking hands met trembling fingers as the indecisive brunet felt his himself be pulled forward, freezing lips meeting his own after so long.
"Tell me…" That raspy voice had changed so much, Light realized, taking in the lower baritone with a fascination that bothered him on a whole new level. "Tell me…"
"Tell you what?" Looking over at his still open computer, Light wondered if he would be inspired tonight.
"Tell me I'm still human."
Light, if he had been some other person, would have laughed off the statement; of course you are human, another person would say.
But Light wasn't another person.
And Light knew why this man before him, this man who was so close to breaking that he hadn't even realized it until he had failed at doing what it was that so many other people expected of him, had asked such a question.
It was why he refused to watch TV, and why he was so scared to make any new relationships with people.
It was why his father hated him and why he still wrote even as his source of inspiration ran dry.
"You'll always be human with me."
Light swallowed the hitch in breath the other man succumbed to as he leaned forward and held his lips, eyes slowly closing in response.
'You stayed away for so long…'
"Thank you." L whispered against Light's lips, smiling softly for the first time in years (even if Light himself didn't know it). "Thank you…"
Brown eyes crinkled as Light threw a shirt at the naked man, keeping his amusement to himself as those dark eyes followed his movements.
Now make your own promise to me.
I'll still be right here waiting.