Neon: Trying to get into my 'writing funk' so I can continue with Collision Course. I seem to be stuck on it, and it's sort of a downer. So I just started writing and came up with this! Took about 2 hours. You all know I don't own Naruto. 3
Warnings: Slight spoilers for the manga; just about Shikamaru's new habit. Nothing huge.
PS: I might try to write a book full of shorts. I'll let you guys know if it gets published!! This might take a year or more, so don't like... get too excited. It's just a thought. xD
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
There are several things that you have to understand about the village of Konoha to properly grasp how its inhabitants function.
For example, everyone knew that the best time to go to market for fresh fruit and vegetables was just before midday; it took a few hours in the morning for the farmers' sons to get the produce into the village, so if you went directly after sunrise, you'd get nothing more than day-old lettuce.
Some things, though, only the shinobi of the village know. The young man with the old man's hair and the cloth mask was always late for everything from birthdays to mission briefings, and he'd been getting later during the past three years. That one lazy child, as smart as he was, had taken up smoking. The Hokage had a gambling addiction.
That kid with the fox-devil sealed within him was no longer quite the bumbling idiot he once was. Everyone knows that a brat like him could never be Hokage, though.
But since there are things that not all shinobi know, not many people realize that Kakashi has only become increasingly late because he is apologizing to both Uchiha boys that have touched his life and then disappeared like smoke. Even fewer know that Shikamaru hates the taste and smell of tobacco, but he lights up because each cigarette is like a small memorial candle to someone he was not smart enough to save. Only Shizune really understands that Tsunade started gambling because she had felt that she had nothing else to live to accomplish, and that she keeps on doing it as a paranoid way of forcing premonitions. Whenever her lotto numbers match up, she knows that those three new Chuunin she'd sent off on the mission in Stone would come back as corpses.
And Naruto, truthfully, is still an idiot. Only fools dream for the impossible. For people that know him, though, there is no doubt in their minds that he will come to live his dream of becoming Hokage.
Proving himself to the village is no longer prominent in his mind. Sometimes, Naruto wakes up and he can go for several sleepless nights before the word 'Hokage' even filters through his mind. He's already shown the village what he can do, and all that he has to work at now is his ability to manipulate political situations.
But he's much too busy, these days, trying to prove himself to someone. You would think that it would be much easier to show off to a single person, when you can see whether or not that their eyes are upon you, then to make your worth obvious to an entire village.
There are some things that only Naruto knows, though.
It's nearly impossible to force someone to see you when they aren't there, especially when their gaze is already fixed upon greater things.
Sasuke had always had a one-track mind.
0o0o0o0o0
There is something else about Konoha that everyone from the Hokage to the regular schoolchildren know: You don't go into the Uchiha complex grounds.
Naruto knows this, but he's never really listened to things that he should and shouldn't do.
His feet make little dust storms every time he takes a step; Konoha hasn't seen rain in weeks, and Naruto suspects that the Old Woman's lotto numbers have been making one or two matches, at least. He's never been in here before, and he doesn't imagine that Sasuke had been either, at least not since whatever had made it empty like this had happened.
He'd just found himself wandering the streets, hands shoved in his pockets just so, and he'd ended up at the locked gate of this dusty ghost manor. It hadn't been hard at all to scale the wall to get into the place, but if there was a lock in Konoha, no matter how easily undone or avoided it could be, it was there for a reason. Sakura even had a little lock on her diary, even though it was broken, and Naruto knew not to invade her privacy.
It is a little different with Sasuke, though. Naruto wants to make everything about Sasuke his business, to get inside his head, to understand something that Sasuke needs to have understood before he can come back home. Naruto wants to worm his way into Sasuke's very being until Sasuke can no longer claim that Naruto just doesn't get it.
The glare of the low, yellow sun reflecting off a nearby window catches Naruto's attention, and he regards it slowly. All of these buildings look identical to him. Identical little houses with identical little ghosts with identical little eyes.
He hates that he thinks of Sasuke's late family like that; they had been people to Sasuke. Real people.
Naruto laughs, the sound as hollow in his throat as it is in the empty alleys that only ghosts and bad memories roam.
Because to Sasuke, they still are real.
0o0o0o0o0
Naruto doesn't know it, but he's the first person to step into this house who hasn't had black hair.
Naruto doesn't know it, but Sasuke's father would have frowned from behind a scroll. His mother would have forced a smile and been nevertheless kind to the boy who carried the devil within him. Sasuke would have sneered, Naruto guesses. But that's only because he knows the Sasuke that's spent too much of his life living for the dead.
Sasuke would have grinned, maybe. Or gotten a little too clumsy at the thought of a visitor and dropped his food from his chopsticks and into his cup of milk.
Itachi wouldn't have been present; he rarely ever was when Sasuke wanted him around.
Unaware of the ghosts fading in and out of existence around him, Naruto drags his feet over the dust-thick floor, leaving dark lines in his wake. He runs his fingers along the countertop, leaving similar trails of discolour that look like streaks of blood, but only if he squints.
Naruto stares at the sink, and the stove, and the table; fascinated in a detached sort of way. He doesn't see the memories, because there are none for him here. There is a window open in this kitchen, and he can see the water damage on the walls, the dust coating everything, and how the sun has sucked the colour from this place dry with time. Naruto had tried closing it, but the metal rimming encasing the glass panes had rusted together and it wouldn't budge.
He moves on into what he assumes to be the living room; there are a few chairs, and a couple withered, long-dead plants. There's a window here, too, but it's closed and the curtains are drawn so that it's dark and musty.
The teen sees a small table that seems darker than it should, and when he approaches it, he realizes it's because the wood isn't as dusty as everything else. He almost wonders why, but he notices a slip of paper-- an envelope --set upon it.
It's addressed to him.
Slowly, Naruto reaches out for it and plucks it up. The paper is faded, but not as badly as everything else in this house. His hand shakes only slightly as he opens the yellowed flap on the back of the envelope and slides out the small square of plain paper inside.
The note is from Sasuke, and it's dated in careful handwriting for the night that Sasuke had left.
'I hope you understand,' is what it says.
Naruto knows that Sasuke is driven and ambitious and a million other things that can get a person killed if used in the wrong way. Naruto knows that Sasuke needs to be understood, but that he doesn't ever want to be.
How could Naruto ever know what it's like to lose a family and be betrayed by the most important person in your life? That's what Sasuke had said; he'd never wanted Naruto to understand, though. To understand would be to know his ghosts, and Sasuke was selfish with his memories.
Naruto knows that, too. But for all that he knows about Sasuke, he doesn't understand.
"I was wondering if anyone would ever find that."
Naruto shuts his eyes tightly to stop his eyes from watering because of the dry air. His fingers work of their own accord, sliding the horribly cryptic note back into the envelope, and that into his pocket.
"You didn't mean for it to be found?" Naruto asks quietly, almost afraid of what he'll see when he turns around.
"If I didn't want it found, I wouldn't have written it," Sasuke replies levelly.
He sounded so familiar and so close that Naruto can't help but turn to face him. The Uchiha is hidden in the dank, off-colour shadows in the back of the room, sitting casually on a straight-backed, wooden chair. His elbows rest on his knees, back curved forwards as he glances at Naruto coolly.
The chair is placed in front of a dusty old couch, and for a split second, Naruto stops drinking in Sasuke's appearance and wonders why he's using the chair instead of sitting on the couch. Then he realizes that someone else is lying on the other piece of furniture, underneath a blanket. Naruto can see their sandals, but Sasuke is in the way of Naruto making out their face, as though Sasuke is tending to a sickly person's bedside.
"What… are you doing here?" Naruto breathes, his gaze flicking back up to Sasuke's face, as though keeping his eyes on him will make him stay.
Sasuke makes a sort of irritated grunt and shoots back, "It's my house."
Naruto knows that he means 'it was'.
The Uchiha sits up slowly, the pale column of his neck rising out of the wide, loose collar of his white robe. Naruto notices that he's not wearing the signature Sound rope about his waist, and tries not to look too hopeful.
He also notices that there is a wide gash on the far side of Sasuke's body, from the crook of his throat down to the center of his chest. Through his curse seal. Sasuke doesn't seem bothered by it though; if Naruto looks carefully enough, he can see a weird, white film decorating the wound. Sasuke had probably dumped some medicinal chemical onto it.
"I'll be gone soon enough, so don't worry yourself about it," Sasuke says smoothly.
Anger laps up Naruto's throat, and he almost chokes on the ancient dust of Sasuke's life. "No! Why can't you just--"
"Stay here?" Sasuke finishes for him as he reaches behind himself, turning towards the ill person on the couch. Naruto hears the trickle of water, and Sasuke puts something on the person's forehead. They probably have a fever-- Naruto wonders why Sasuke is taking care of this person, but is too concentrated on Sasuke to ask.
"Yeah, that," Naruto glowers. "Why can't you?"
Sasuke is silent for a long time, and he pulls the blankets up to the person's chin before he turns back to Naruto with an answer. "How about you listen to what I'm saying to you before you ask for more answers?" He rises from his perch, and Naruto keeps his angry, desperate gaze locked with Sasuke's infuriatingly cool expression.
He walks over to Naruto, and the blond clenches his fist and his jaw, longing to send a punch into Sasuke's face. He doesn't, though, and Sasuke places a crisp, white envelope on the table behind Naruto, where he'd found the first.
It's addressed to Naruto, but he knows that it's not time to open that one yet.
"For when you actually get the first one through your thick skull," Sasuke quips.
They're quiet for a long time, then, Naruto searching for some weakness in Sasuke's face that he can exploit so his friend will break down and stay here. Sasuke doesn't show any.
"Just leave the window," Sasuke whispers. It had been open since the night his family had been murdered; Sasuke knows this because he had went walking around the complex the day after. It had been raining, and the only other being that knows about the window was the stray black cat that had tricked Sasuke into thinking that his kitchen was still alive with sound, instead of just pretending with Sasuke's memories as fuel.
Naruto nods, and Sasuke understands this as his bidding to leave. He turns and walks away from Naruto, giving him a good view of his back.
He lets Sasuke go, no matter how it tears him apart inside. He lets him go because it just won't be the same unless they fight and scream and he drags Sasuke back himself.
Sasuke gets it.
Naruto needs to make sure because he doesn't quite get Sasuke.
"I'm not going to turn into a memory," Naruto says.
"Alright," Sasuke returns, like he's agreeing to the rules of a game. He disappears out of the door, leaving it open so that yellow light streaks into the house.
Naruto watches the empty frame of the door for a long moment before his attention is drawn back to the couch.
He sees Itachi and immediately understands that this place will be the grave of all the Uchiha. The wet cloth on his forehead plasters dark bangs to a cold face, and Naruto tries to feel sick to his stomach.
It's so much better than feeling pride in Sasuke's craft.
0o0o0o0o0
Before Naruto leaves Sasuke's house, he buries Itachi in the back yard. It's best to put the past in the past and keep moving forward, even if Sasuke can't do it for himself.
Before Sasuke leaves Naruto's village, he visits the memorial stone in the sparse moments when Kakashi isn't there, and painstakingly carves his brother's name into the smooth marble.
He'd always known that he'd be the one to kill Itachi, but he had never expected Itachi to actually die.
Sasuke had never thought that his phantoms would disappear.
Some things, only Sasuke knows.
He knows that for the ghosts of the Uchiha family to truly never be seen again, to never haunt another's memories, one more Uchiha has to die.
Sasuke thinks that he might be able to live with the nightmares.