Disclaimer: I own nothing except the characters Aurora and Christine.
A/N: Well, here you go, this is Aurora's story. Please review!
Leaving
"Auri, Auri wake up!" I roll over, trying to knock away Christine's hand that's shaking my shoulder. Can't she see that I'm trying to sleep? And what's she doing barging into my room? Sirius and I could be naked in here!
"Chris, sod off. Can't you see I'm trying to sleep? It's the middle of the night!" I immediately sit up and notice Sirius' absence. I'm suddenly reminded of something that my grandmother told me years ago, "bad things always happen in the middle of the night."
"What happened? What's wrong Chris?" I have this feeling that whatever it is that's got her so upset will affect my life drastically and I wish she'd just spit it out.
"It's Lily and James. Oh Auri, they're dead!" Chris bursts into a fresh set of tears as this information hits me like a brick wall. We just saw them a few hours ago. Lily had said that even though they were in hiding, it didn't mean they couldn't celebrate Halloween. I suddenly feel a wave of nausea and a burst of adrenaline all at once. I know there's nothing we can do now, but I have to do something to stop this feeling of helplessness.
"Where are Sirius and Remus? Chris, listen to me! Where are they?" I realize I'm yelling at her and that it's not her fault, but I have to get through to her somehow. She's distraught; it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. I think the only reason I'm not bawling as well is that I'm still in shock.
"Sirius went to the house to – to see if there was anything to be done. And Remus went to Dumbledore."
"Get dressed. Quickly. We're going to the house." I tell her and reach for some clothes myself. I pause when I think of Harry. "Wait, what about Harry? Is he dead too?" Chris gives me this astonished look and I can tell that she hasn't even thought about him yet. I don't blame her, poor girl just figured that if James and Lily were dead, he would be too
"I – I'm not sure. The letter from Dumbledore just said Lily and James. Do you think he could be alive?"
"I'm not sure. I can't even let myself hope for it. But anything's possible, right?"
When we get to the house, we find it swarming with Ministry officials and the Dark Mark glittering ominously overhead. I can't help but shudder at the sight of it. I've seen it far too often lately. I can feel tears blur my vision for the first time tonight. The wooden door to the little house is in splinters and a Ministry official was trying to rope off the scene. I push past the man, Christine clinging to my arm with a death grip.
"Hey, you can't go in there!" Someone shouts after us. I ignore them and keep walking. I have to see. I have to know if at least Harry survived.
As we step past the remains of the front door, I can't help but notice the lack of disrepair. Except for the door and a shattered plate, the living room of James and Lily's house is just as I saw it earlier tonight. We move back to the bedrooms and enter the nursery on the right. Harry's room is full of toys from his over-indulgent godfather. I pick up one of his teddy bears that he always slept with and hug it to me.
"I hope he's alive." Chris croaks out next to me.
"How good could his life be now that his parents are dead? If he is alive, he won't even remember them." I say. Lily's son won't even remember her. I glance at Chris and I can see that she's thinking the same thing. It shouldn't have happened like this. Not for them. Not for anyone.
"I guess that's what we're here for." I can't respond in any other way than nodding sadly. I look up and see a Ministry official standing in the doorway.
"Is he alive? Is Harry alive?" I asked him. I realize I'm waiting for the deathblow. For someone to gravely shake their head and tell me what a shame it is. That's when I'll let myself break down, but not before then.
"Yes. Somehow, when the Dark Lord tried to kill him, the curse rebounded and hit him instead. We're not sure what happened to him. He might be dead, but if he's not, his powers are seriously weakened." I'm shocked, elated, and exhausted all at once. The man lets us absorb that information before telling us we have to leave.
At home, we sit in silence for what seemed like forever. Neither of us are used to being quiet for very long, but I don't think I can talk about this yet. For just a little while longer I'd like to pretend that this didn't happen; that two of my friends haven't just been murdered in their home.
At around noon the next day, Remus finally walks through the door. He looks like a living corpse and I have to resist the urge to run to a mirror. It's amazing that even after the night I've just had I can still worry about how I look. Chris runs to give him a hug and I watch for a moment as he holds her.
"Where's Sirius?" I ask him quietly after giving him a hug of my own. I had figured that since he didn't come home that he had gone to Dumbledore with Remus.
"Running from the Ministry I would expect," he said darkly.
"What are you talking about?" I ask, puzzled. What the hell is he talking about? You can practically feel the hate and betrayal radiating off of him.
"He was their Secret-Keeper. The only way that Voldemort could have found James and Lily is if Sirius told him."
"What?! Remus, I can't believe you said that. You know that Sirius would die before betraying them. And I refuse to believe that he would do so." I can see it in his eyes. He wants to believe that Sirius is innocent, but he's too logical. He won't let himself believe that.
"Then where is he Aurora? He's not here grieving with us, he's not holding Harry in his arms and telling him everything will be okay. He's running for his life because his master can no longer protect him. He was the traitor and he'll rot in Azkaban for it." He's nearly shouting at me and I can feel my temper rise.
"I refuse to believe that he would do that. Just like I refuse to believe that you or Chris or Peter would betray them." I was about to go on, but the thought of Peter made me cut short. We haven't seen him all night. "Where's Peter? Has anyone tried to contact him?"
"Dumbledore tried, but he wasn't home. He thinks that Peter tried to go after Sirius." Remus tells me. He's got this stubborn look on his face; practically daring me to say that Sirius is innocent one last time. That's it, I can't deal with this. I just head up to my room, stomping as much as possible. I know I'm acting like a two-year-old, but I don't care. Christine follows me. I try to shut her out of the room, but she comes in anyway.
"Aurora, we need to talk about this. You can't just shut yourself up on the issue. James and Lily are dead and God knows where Sirius and Peter are. It's just the three of us left now. I want to believe what you say, but you have to see that all evidence points to his guilt." Chris reasons. I refuse to look at her. Only three of us left? Sirius isn't dead! And he sure as hell isn't guilty.
"Chris, I know that he looks guilty, but I know him. And I know that he would never do that. Sirius would rather die a thousand deaths than work for Voldemort. You know it."
"I know that something doesn't fit. But it's the only possible way that Voldemort could have found them. Just for the record, I don't want to believe it, I really don't. But I have to. The facts are staring me in the face and there's really nothing else to believe. Maybe tomorrow will give us something else to believe, but for now, this is it." She tells me. I've never liked admitting defeat. Even over the slightest thing. But right now, I 'm too tired to argue. I just nod and tell her we'll talk some more later. Right now, we all need sleep.
I wake up the next morning at about nine. Remus and Christine are already downstairs. They look even worse than yesterday. Remus wordlessly hands me the Daily Prophet and stalks out of the kitchen. I look down and the headline is enough to make me weak in the knees. I sink down into a chair and read the whole article.
"Now do you believe that he's guilty? He killed Peter and I have to believe that he betrayed James and Lily as well." Chris says. Her voice has a flat tone. There's nothing in the words, no emotion.
"I don't know. I don't know what to believe. Everything's just a muddle of colors and sounds right now. Do you know what happened to Harry?"
"Dumbledore said that he took them to Lily's sister, but he wouldn't tell us where she lived. He wants him to stay away from the wizarding world until it's time for him to go to Hogwarts. I suppose it makes sense, but he's going to grow up not knowing a thing about his parents. "
"He has to stay with that bitch? I remember all of the stories Lily told us about her. She hates anything to do with magic and supposedly her husband is even worse." I stop my ranting and shake me head to clear my thoughts. "But there's nothing that we can do about it though, is there?" Christine just shakes her head sadly. We sit in silence for a few moments before Christine speaks again.
"So what now? Do we just go on with our lives? Because of Sirius, we lost four of our friends in two days, including him."
"No. Because of Voldemort we lost four friends in two days. I'm not saying Sirius is completely innocent, but if that power-hungry jackass had never risen to power eleven years ago, none of this would have happened. I blame it all on that sorry excuse for a human being."
"Aurora, how can you deny it now? He killed thirteen innocent people, including Peter!" Remus exclaims. I turn and see that he's been listening by the door.
"I'm aware of that Remus! Quit treating me like an idiot!"
"I will when you stop acting like one! He killed Peter and he betrayed James and Lily to Voldemort. There's no denying that now." He stopped yelling and sat down across from me. There was silence for a few minutes as we all just sat, not looking at each other. I have never heard such a loud silence. It seemed to echo across the table and bounce off the rather enormous elephant hovering above us.
"I need to leave." I tell them.
"Yeah, maybe you should go for a walk. It'll help clear your mind." Chris says. I know she's just trying to be helpful, but her voice grates on my nerves.
"No, I mean really leave. I don't think I can live here anymore."
"You want to move out?" Remus asks, shocked. "Have we really reached that point?"
"I can't make you believe that Sirius is innocent and I don't want to believe that he's guilty. If I continued to live here, things would just go from bad to homicidal."
"What about our shop? I can't run it by myself." Chris says.
"I know. We've been doing really well lately and I had been thinking about hiring someone else to help fill the orders. I could sell my half of the business to you and I think you should hire someone to manage the books. After business is a bit stronger, you can hire an assistant for your potions work."
"You've really thought this out," comments Christine.
"I couldn't really sleep last night and I think I just need to get out of here. Maybe, even leave the country. I need to go somewhere where no one's even heard the name Voldemort." I tell them. I think I know what I'm doing. I hope I do anyway.
"Well, you've really thought through what you need," Remus says acidly.
"Remus, don't. I'm not totally abandoning you guys. I'll stay for as long as I need to and make sure that everything is in order." I say wearily. I do feel like I'm abandoning them, but I have to get away from this.
"So what are you going to do once everything's settled?" Christine asks. She looks hurt that I'm leaving our little shop behind. It was like our baby. I'll miss that shop.
"I think I want to go to New York. For now, I'll be at my parents' house." Of course, I haven't had a chance to ask my Mum yet, but I hardly think that she'll turn me away.
"You're insane. Do realize that you've finally flipped your lid?" Christine says. I just nod. If anything could make me crazy, it would be these past two days.
"Will you write to us?" She asks.
"Of course. I couldn't bear not keeping in touch with you. I'll need to hear all the gossip and I'll want to know how everything is going. And eventually, I might even come back. But I think that's only going to happen if Voldemort rises again."
"So you don't think he's dead?" Remus asks.
"No. I don't think he's human enough to die. But if he comes back, I'll be the first one in line to kick his arse." Chris cracks a half smile at that.
"And we'll be right behind you, along with 30,000 other people."
****
As I knock on the door of my parents' house, I'm filled with an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I feel like a little kid who wants her mummy to kiss her boo-boo away. The kind face of my mother is revealed as the door opens and when she sees me waiting on the stoop, simply opens her arms for me and whispers kind words.
I let myself cry until I am spent and then Mum leads me up to my old room. The funeral is tomorrow and I hardly hear her say that she'll iron my dress for me. I just crash onto my old lavender and blue bedspread and fall into a fitful sleep.
Funerals are always a lot of crying and hugging and talk of "what a tragedy," but never so much as this one. It seems as though anyone James or Lily accidentally bumped into on the street is here, as well as all of the Hogwarts professors, friends, co-workers, and Hogwarts acquaintances. Dumbledore looks especially upset. After I gave a very short speech for my friends, I tried to stand off by myself, but Professor McGonagall followed me. I know she has something important to say to me, but I don't really feel like talking. She can wait until after the service.
"Aurora, I want you to know something." Or not. "I just wanted to tell you that you can come to me for anything. I know that you're hurting because Sirius is in Azkaban. I will never forgive Crouch for not granting him a trial." McGonagall sounded on the brink of tears. "I was always harsh with him at Hogwarts and now - now he's in that terrible place."
I can't help but stare in disbelief at this woman who I had always respected, but had more than once cursed for giving me punishment for some wrongdoing. Does she really believe that Sirius is innocent?
"Professor, do you really think that Sirius could be innocent?" I can hardly dare to hope that someone else could be on my side.
"Well we'll never know now, will we? For now, I prefer not to speak of the subject with my colleagues. It is certain that someone on the inside was a spy, but as for the spy's identity, I'm not quite sure."
"Thank you Professor. I needed to hear that."
"Well, I also have a request. I heard that you are planning to move to America. I would like it very much if we kept up a correspondence. Also, please call me Minerva. I am no longer your professor and it makes me feel old." I give her a half smile and nod.
"I was actually planning to ask you if you would keep me up to date about Harry when gets to Hogwarts. I would like to know how he's doing right now, but unfortunately Lily's sister didn't even come to the funeral. I fear for him living in that household. Those muggles hate anything out of the ordinary and Harry is definitely not ordinary." I confide.
"I tend to agree, but we must trust Dumbledore's decision." She says. The funeral is beginning to break up now and I need to get out of here.
I practically run to the designated spot and disapparate. I appear instantly on the northern coast of Scotland. Looming on the horizon is the island wizarding prison, Azkaban. Normally, people aren't allowed to visit the prison, so I'll have to say my good-bye from a distance.
"I'm leaving Sirius. I'll never believe that you're guilty and I'll never forget about you." I shake my head, feeling foolish for speaking out loud. I give one last glance at Azkaban before apparating home. If only Sirius knew that I believed in him…
****
I look around the dingy little apartment in disgust and pay the landlord in my newly changed muggle currency. The apartment may not look like much now, but after an afternoon of spell casting, it should be presentable. And it's in a great neighborhood. The wizarding area of New York is only a block away and the surrounding buildings are in pretty good shape, meaning I'm living in a fairly nice area. And because the apartment itself is in such disrepair, rent is low. Now all I need is a job. And as it turns out, when I was walking through Owens' Corner, New York's version of Diagon Alley, I saw several Help Wanted signs. As I set to getting rid of this horrid wallpaper, I think that while life still really sucks, it's really not as bad as I thought.
Ugh, here goes nothing.
Well, what do you think? I really appreciate feedback. If this story sounds a bit familiar to you, it's probably because it was first published about eight months ago. But it was in the third person and Aurora went a little crazy. I didn't like that version so much, so I took it down and finally rewrote it. This is for Galya who wouldn't let me forget about it when life got a bit hectic. Go read her stories too; they're great!