A/N: I don't know where I got this idea, but it was inspired by the song "Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun" by Julie Brown. I didn't change many of the lyrics cause they were so perfect. :P The song starts out funny, but for me, it gets a little sad/creepy toward the end. Just take that as a warning.

Jean Grey's got a gun!

Kitty
It was homecoming night at my high school

Kurt, Scott, & Evan
Oooo-ooohhhhhh

Kitty
Everyone was there, it was totally cool.

Kurt, Scott, & Evan
Oooo-ooohhhhhh

Kitty
I was real excited, I almost wet my jeans,

Kurt, Scott, & Evan
Oooo-ooohhhhhh

Kitty
'Cause my best friend Jean Grey was homecoming queen!
She looked so pretty in pink chiffon

Kurt, Scott, & Evan
Chiffonnnn . . .

Kitty
Riding the float with her tiara on,

Kurt, Scott, & Evan
Tiara onnnnn. . .

Kitty
Holding this humongous bouquet in her hand,

Kurt, Scott, & Evan
Bouqueeet . . .

Kitty
She looked straight out of Disneyland.
You know like the Cinderella ride? I mean definitely an E-ticket

Kurt, Scott, & Evan
E-ticket . . .

Kitty
The crowd was cheering, everyone was stoked

Kurt, Scott, & Evan
Was stoked . . .

Kitty
I mean it was like the whole school was totally coked or something;
The band was playing Evergreen,
Then all of a sudden somebody screamed:

Scott
"Look out! The homecoming queen's got a gun!" (Gunshot) "Aaaaeeiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

All
Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun,
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a gun.

Kitty
Jean's like smiling and waving her gun,
Picking off cheerleaders one by one:
Oh Ashley's pompom just blew to bits,
Oh no, Riley's head just did the splits.
God, my best friend's on a shooting spree;
Stop it, Jean, you're like, embarrassing me!
How could you do what you just did?
Are you having a really bad period?

All
Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun,
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a gun.

Kurt, Rogue, & Evan
Stop Jean, like, you're making a mess,
Powder burns all over your dress.

Kitty
An hour later the cops arrived;
By then the entire glee club had died! (no big loss)
You wouldn't believe what they brought to stop her:
Tear gas, machine guns, even a chopper!

Principal Kelly
"Throw down your gun and tiara and come out of the float!"

Kitty
Jean, like, didn't listen to what the man said,
She aimed and fired and now the math teacher's dead!
Oh it's really sad but kind of a relief,
I mean, we had this big test coming up next week.

All
Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun,
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a gun.

Kurt, Rogue, & Evan
Jean's really having a blast,
She's wasting half of the class.

Kitty
The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off the float,
I tried to scream "duck" but it stuck in my throat;
She hit the ground and did a flip, it was real acrobatic,
But I was crying so hard I couldn't work my instamatic.
I ran down to Jean, I like had to find out
What made her do it, why'd she freak out?
I saw the bullet had got her right in the ear:
I knew then the end was near.

Kitty
So I ran down and I said in her good ear "Jean, like, why'd you do it?"
She raised her head, smiled, and said

Jean
"I -- I did it for Tolensky. Errrk!" :dies:

Kitty
Tolensky? Well, like, who's Tolensky? Answer me Jean, who's Tolenksy?
Does anybody here know Tolenksy? Are you Tolensky?
There was one guy named Tolensky but he was a total weirdo, he always ate flies with his tongue.
Answer me Jean, who's Tolenksy?
Oh God this is like that movie Citizen Kane you know where you later find out Rosebud was a sled,
But we'll never know who Tolensky was because, like... she's dead ...

All
Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun,
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a ...
Everybody run,
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a ...

(fades out)