A/N My second fanfiction! Enjoy the failed attempts of Mike Newton courting Bella!
Disclaimer: I don't own Mike Newton. Or any of the characters you recognize from Twilight. Nor do I own the lines from Twilight.
Dear Diary,
Today this really hot girl came to Forks. Her name is Isabella Swan. Yes Chief Swan's daughter. She is totally falling for me. She told me to call her 'Bella'. She wanted to me to call her by a nickname. She wants me!
Tyler and Eric think they have a chance with her. As if! A cute girl like Bella, is mine. I mean, I'm the hottest guy at Forks. No, in the state of Washington! Actually, I'm probably the hottest guy in the whole of America! There's no way Bella would fall for Crowley or Yorkie. She'll fall for the manliest and hottest guy of all – me.
I first saw Bella in English class. When she walked in I could totally see her in a white dress walking down the aisle to me. We'll be the hottest and cutest couple in the whole of Forks! She and I would make the cutest babies ever!
As I stood up after English class to introduce her to me and ask her out – which she would most definitely say yes to – Eric Yorkie got ahead of me. He asked Bella what her next class was and whether he could walk her there. Who does he think he is? He's just a gangly boy with acne and very oily hair! Whilst I'm the muscular Mike with the perfect features and awesome spiky hair!
At lunch Jessica bought Bella to our table. I knew this was the time for me to introduce myself. I was absolutely certain that she'll go to the movies with me – she smiled at me when Jessica said my name! It must be my irresistible charms!
I was just about to lean over and make her fall in love with me when she asked Jessica the question.
"Who are they?"
She just asked about the Cullens. The Cullens had moved down from Alaska at the start of freshman year. They all looked like they had cosmetic surgery. With a dad like Dr Cullen they could probably have the best plastic surgery. I was about the dominate high school when they came and ruined everything. The whole school spent the first day gaping at them, instead of whispering about my awesomeness.
And when I tried to team up with them to ultimately dominate Forks High they rejected me. If only either Rosalie Hale or Alice Cullen said yes to me asking them out. Then we would've been the perfect couple that everybody would've been jealous of. But that big Emmett Cullen – I swear he's on steroids – and Rosalie's twin, Jasper, got in the way. But I don't get it. Why would Rosalie and Alice choose their foster brothers over me? Is it even legal for them to go out?
Anyway, back to the subject. During lunch I was praying that Bella would be in my biology class. Even though I already had a partner, Mr Banner would most definitely see how she and I should be paired together.
Bella did have biology after lunch. When Angela and she walked through the door, I was ready to catch her when she fainted from seeing my awesomeness. But she just walked up to the teacher and gave him a slip. He pointed her to where Edward Cullen was sitting. Cullen was glaring at her so evilly I wanted to jump up from my seat and punch him out of the window, using my gigantic muscles.
But I couldn't so I just settled with staring at Bella throughout the whole lesson. The second that the bell rang I jumped out my seat and ran to her seat.
I asked her, "Aren't you Isabella Swan?"
She answered with a smile that conveyed the message that she wanted me, and said, "Bella."
I then introduced myself and offered to help her find her next class. And I found out that she had gym too. I knew she was destined for me. Three subjects together!
Anyway, to let her know more about me before she married me I told her about how I moved from California to boring old Forks when I was ten. When I came, the whole school bowed at me feet, begging to be friends with me.
To make Cullen seem very mean, I added as we walked into the gym, "So, did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what? I've never seen him act like that."
Obviously she was a nice person that didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. Because she replied, "Was that the boy I sat next to in Biology?"
I said yes and commented that he looked like he was in pain.
She replied, "I don't know. I never spoke to him."
Instead of heading towards the changing rooms, I said to Bella, flattering her, "He's a weird guy. If I were lucky to sit by you, I would have talked to you."
That line always picked up girls. And Bella was no exception. She gave me another one of her 'I-want-you' smiles.
We played volleyball and I was ready to catch Bella, in a very heroic way, when she fell. She stumbled now and then, but never a big, dramatic fall, where I could dramatically save her.
At the end of P.E. I hurriedly got changed, so that I could walk Bella to her car. But when I got out of the change rooms Bella was nowhere to be seen. I slouched out into the car park and saw Bella get into a faded red truck.
I waved goodbye to her, but she didn't see. I waved goodbye to all the people that were one step below me on the social pyramid and got into my sexy Suburban.
As I drove home I thought of how to ask Bella out to the movies. I'm sure once she got to know me more she'll fall for me and my sexy, irresistible charm. And then the whole school would be so jealous of me. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!