I love her. I know I do. I can't help it. No matter how hard I try to not love her, I still do. It's like we were meant to be. Sure, we're from totally different ends of the "social pyramid", but that doesn't seem to matter anymore. Yeah, most people would say "You're too good for her" or "She's not your type", but they're all wrong. I've done things I'm ashamed of. What she did isn't that much worse than some of the things I've done. And I'm not proud of those things. But I'm not gonna forget them. We have to learn from our mistakes. To fix everything we made wrong. And that, right there, is what I recently realized I need to do. I screwed things up. Big time. I'll admit it now. There was a time, not long ago at all, that I wouldn't admit that I had messed up. But I'm way past pride now.
I ignored her. Intentionally. I spent way too much time with Juliet. I avoided her. I acted like what she had to say wasn't important. And I did it all on purpose. Out of jealousy. Yes, I was jealous. Full of the "green monster". I saw her with Sawyer. I saw the way their relationship developed. All while I was stuck operating on the Others' lead guy. I was furious when she came to me, begging for me to do the operation just so they could save Sawyer's life. And when she left, crying because I had yelled, I was left with mixed feelings. Guilt, anger, confusion. I didn't know what to do. So I tried to escape, and that's where it all got messed up. I saw the video on the surveillance monitor. And I was crushed. So I did the operation, hoping that, if she couldn't have a good life with me, maybe Sawyer and she could have something. Now I regret that.
So I'm sitting here, in the sand, facing the ocean. I know what I need to do. I just don't know how to do it. I don't know whether she'll even listen to me. Whether she wants things to be fixed between us.
"Jack?" I hear a voice and look up. It's her. One look at her face as she sits beside me tells me that maybe, just maybe, this won't be as hard as I think. I love her.