Jess: 3rd fanfic, people! Yahoo! Anyway, this is just a funny little one-
shot of How To Take Care Of A Cat Demon, featuring me as the cat demon, of
course. Diffrent people for diffrent segments, too. Rose, please do the
disclaimer.~~Rose: otay. Jess does not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Jess only owns
the charcters she made up, like Triko and me. Can I say "it", too?
Pleeeeeeease, just this once?~~Jess: oh, alright. Just this once.~~Rose:
Yipee! *clears throat* On with the fic!
How To Take Care Of A Cat Demon
Intro to the Cat Demon
(((looks like the inside of a veterinarians office, where Jess is on an examining table and Merriyu is dressed as a doctor)))Merriyu: *clears throat* Hello, and welcome to "How To Take Care Of A Cat Demon"! As the title explains, you will learn how to take care of your baisic Ctarl-Ctarl, Felius Demonicus, or Cat Demon. Now, many people may ask "Why get a Cat Demon? Aren't they a tad dangerous?" Certainly they are! They can bite yer god forsaken head off! But only if you get one angry. Let's take a look at your baisic Cat Demon of the modern day. *walks over to the table Jess is sitting on in Cat Demon form*///Jess: mrah! *waves at camera, swishing tail*///Merriyu: as you can see, Cat Demons are partially cat, partially humanoid. They can walk on both 2 and 4 legs, and are extreamly intelligent...///Jess: *preens modestly*///Merriyu:...when they want to be.///Jess: *glares at Merriyu* nyo!///Merriyu:Take a look at the large, clawed feet. One thing i've learned afterliving with Cat Demons is that you NEVER try to clip their claws. This is because it is A) near impossible, and B) unnesicery. Cat Demon claws grow to full leangth and then stop, eliminating the need to clip their claws. Next, you notice that the fur is very soft and warm. *begins scratching Jess behind the ear*///Jess: *flops down onto table, completely at ease* purrrrrrrrr......///Merriyu: Cat Demon fur is very warm, while nonetheless Cat Demons seek heat. Why? It comforts them. Now, the ears are extreamly sensitive, therefore Cat Demons have the best hearing of all creatures. Note that they are large and pointed, not small and drropy. *yanks at one of Jess's ears*///Jess: mraewr! *bats Merriyu's hand away*///Merriyu: fine! Anyway, moving on to the teeth. Now, the teeth...open up, Jess.///Jess: *opens her mouth, revealing many many many sharp, serrated fangs*///Merriyu: thank you. The Cat Demon's teeth are sharp and serrated at the edge, for tearing apart their prey. So it is NOT a pleasent experience to be bitten by one, I kid you not. Close your mouth, Jess. You've been munching on the sardines again, haven't you?///Jess: *shuts her mouth with a guilty look on her face*///Merriyu: that's what I thought. Anywho, moving on. Cat Demons, although a bit scary looking, are vry playful and make great friends if they trust you. Among the many things they can do, they can guard the house, provide for themselves, need no potty training, hardly shed, and don't try to eat your other pets. But, above all else, you must never, ever, EVER put any form of collar, harness, or leash onto the Cat Demon without it's permission. Doing so will result in an unstoppable enraged Cat Demon, who will more than likely destroy your entire damn town! This is because Cat Demons love their freedom, and hate having it taken away above all else.///Jess: *nods* nyah.///Merriyu: Well, that's all for the introduction to a Cat Demon, so onto the next section on Feding with Ari the fox demon!
Feeding A Cat Demon
((( now in some sort of kitchen, where Ari and Jess are)))Jess: *asleep on the blue linoleum floor with a teddy bear* zzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzz.....///ari: Welcome to Feeding Your Cat Demon, where we'll lear. what a Cat Demon's diet should and should not consist of. To start off, Cat Demons arecarnivourous, meaning meat eaters if you didn't know. Therefore, a Cat Demon is a apex predatory feline who may attack wildlife in it's backyard. This is a BIG no-no, considering that killing about 50 geese out-of-season is illegal ^^. But this is besides the point. The point is, you shouldn't let your Cat Demon go out to forage for itself. You can easily make due for your hungry kitty with normal household foods.///Jess: *wakes up at the sound of the word 'food'* nyo nyo?///Ari: *goes to the refridgerator and brings out a chocolate bar, a roast, and some salad* Now, being carnivorous, Cat Demons must have their meat, and regular canned Whiskas ain't gonna cut it, mac. You can feed your Ctarl-Ctarl regular lunchmeat, or, something a little more fancy. *places the roast on a plate with just a sprig of parsley*///Jess: *knocks away the parsley and eats both the roast and the plate*///Ari: augh! Eating plates is a no-no! If your Cat Demon eats something it shouldn't have, give him/her a good, hard, whack over the head! *whacks Jess over the head*///Jess: urp! *upchucks the plate*///Ari: ew. Eh, I'll pick it up later. Anyway, Cat Demons also need their fiber, as in greens. A healthy salad once a week shuld do the trick. *places the salad in front of Jess*///Jess: *sniffs the salad, then sits in it* mya! X3///Ari: -.- well, that's just beautiful. Forget it, moving on. Cat Demons love chocolate, but you should only give it to them in small-hey!/// Jess: *has chocolate smeared all over her face* nyeh.///Ari:...amounts. Oh, screw it. Just don't feed the damn thing rat poison and it'll be fine! I give up!
The Social Cat Demon
(((outside in the middle of a park on a sunny day, with Jess clung to a tree, imitating a geko, and Trikko is sitting down on a nearby bench))) Trikko: ahem. Now we're talking about socializing your Cat Demon. In the wild, Cat Demons are naturally loners the first few years of their lives, until they find a pack. Your Cat Demon will naturally want to be left alone for the first 3 years of it's life, until it want to find a pack. we're working with a thirteen-year-old Cat Demon, so she already formed a pack with us. After forming a pack, Cat Demons are usually sweet and docile.///Jess: *chasing after a frightened poodle* rawr!///Trikko: exceptions can be made, however...-.-;;. Anyway, if a Cat Demon meets another demon...///Jess: *runs into Hiei*///Trikko: ...many things could happen. The Cat Demon may take a liking to the other demon.///Jess: *has tackled Hiei over and is now licking him* mrah!///Hiei: get off of me, Jess! *shoves Jess away*///Trikko: however, if the other demon acts hostilly...///Jess: *hisses, unsheathes claws, arches back, and roars loud enough to make the ground tremble* RAAAAAAAAWR!///Trikko: so shall the Cat Demon. If the Cat Demon comes upon a demon or human he/she knows is more powerfull...///Youko: *is sitting up in a nearby tree* hello, Jess.///Jess: *ears turn backwards, lays low on the ground* nyooo...///Trikko: ...the Cat Demon will be submissive. And last, but not least, if a creature that the Cat Demon loathes walks by, the Cat Demon attacks...///Kuwabara: hey, it's cat girl! wassup, Jess?///Jess: *growls and attacks Kuwabara, chewing on one of his arms*///Kuwabara: augh! Get it offa me, get it offa me!///Trikko: if that happens, well...all you can do is stand back and pray he goes to a cheap doctor ^^;;.
Cat Demon Emotions
(((in a living room, where Jess is asleep with her head on Hiei's lap, and Hiei asleep over her. Mikaluu is sitting on a nearby couch))) Mikaluu: Cute, isn't it? Cat Demons have every single emotion we do, from sadness and pain to happiness and joy. But many people don't seem to know this. Over the years, many Cat Demons have been killed for fur, claws, or becaus they eat livestock. This also is due to the fact that only people who share a bond with a Cat Demon can recive their sendings. Sending are mental pictures transmitted to and from Cat Demons, like a telepathic picture. Thing is, Cat Demons also send emotions with sendings, enabling the reciver to feel what they feel. Jess and Hiei are very good friend because they can send sendings to and from each other. That, and the fact that they've both led pretty rough lifes. Just because Cat Demons look diffrent, sound diffrent, and probably smell diffrent than humans doesn't mean they don't have feelings. Truth be told, I think Cat Demons are quite possibly the most heartfelt creatures of all.///Jess: *snuggles closer to Hiei, purring* purrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........///Hiei: *tightens his grip around Jess*.........
THE END
Jess: well, how was it? Please r&r, I love all feedback. But any flames will be in my fireplace tonight. Thanks!
How To Take Care Of A Cat Demon
Intro to the Cat Demon
(((looks like the inside of a veterinarians office, where Jess is on an examining table and Merriyu is dressed as a doctor)))Merriyu: *clears throat* Hello, and welcome to "How To Take Care Of A Cat Demon"! As the title explains, you will learn how to take care of your baisic Ctarl-Ctarl, Felius Demonicus, or Cat Demon. Now, many people may ask "Why get a Cat Demon? Aren't they a tad dangerous?" Certainly they are! They can bite yer god forsaken head off! But only if you get one angry. Let's take a look at your baisic Cat Demon of the modern day. *walks over to the table Jess is sitting on in Cat Demon form*///Jess: mrah! *waves at camera, swishing tail*///Merriyu: as you can see, Cat Demons are partially cat, partially humanoid. They can walk on both 2 and 4 legs, and are extreamly intelligent...///Jess: *preens modestly*///Merriyu:...when they want to be.///Jess: *glares at Merriyu* nyo!///Merriyu:Take a look at the large, clawed feet. One thing i've learned afterliving with Cat Demons is that you NEVER try to clip their claws. This is because it is A) near impossible, and B) unnesicery. Cat Demon claws grow to full leangth and then stop, eliminating the need to clip their claws. Next, you notice that the fur is very soft and warm. *begins scratching Jess behind the ear*///Jess: *flops down onto table, completely at ease* purrrrrrrrr......///Merriyu: Cat Demon fur is very warm, while nonetheless Cat Demons seek heat. Why? It comforts them. Now, the ears are extreamly sensitive, therefore Cat Demons have the best hearing of all creatures. Note that they are large and pointed, not small and drropy. *yanks at one of Jess's ears*///Jess: mraewr! *bats Merriyu's hand away*///Merriyu: fine! Anyway, moving on to the teeth. Now, the teeth...open up, Jess.///Jess: *opens her mouth, revealing many many many sharp, serrated fangs*///Merriyu: thank you. The Cat Demon's teeth are sharp and serrated at the edge, for tearing apart their prey. So it is NOT a pleasent experience to be bitten by one, I kid you not. Close your mouth, Jess. You've been munching on the sardines again, haven't you?///Jess: *shuts her mouth with a guilty look on her face*///Merriyu: that's what I thought. Anywho, moving on. Cat Demons, although a bit scary looking, are vry playful and make great friends if they trust you. Among the many things they can do, they can guard the house, provide for themselves, need no potty training, hardly shed, and don't try to eat your other pets. But, above all else, you must never, ever, EVER put any form of collar, harness, or leash onto the Cat Demon without it's permission. Doing so will result in an unstoppable enraged Cat Demon, who will more than likely destroy your entire damn town! This is because Cat Demons love their freedom, and hate having it taken away above all else.///Jess: *nods* nyah.///Merriyu: Well, that's all for the introduction to a Cat Demon, so onto the next section on Feding with Ari the fox demon!
Feeding A Cat Demon
((( now in some sort of kitchen, where Ari and Jess are)))Jess: *asleep on the blue linoleum floor with a teddy bear* zzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzz.....///ari: Welcome to Feeding Your Cat Demon, where we'll lear. what a Cat Demon's diet should and should not consist of. To start off, Cat Demons arecarnivourous, meaning meat eaters if you didn't know. Therefore, a Cat Demon is a apex predatory feline who may attack wildlife in it's backyard. This is a BIG no-no, considering that killing about 50 geese out-of-season is illegal ^^. But this is besides the point. The point is, you shouldn't let your Cat Demon go out to forage for itself. You can easily make due for your hungry kitty with normal household foods.///Jess: *wakes up at the sound of the word 'food'* nyo nyo?///Ari: *goes to the refridgerator and brings out a chocolate bar, a roast, and some salad* Now, being carnivorous, Cat Demons must have their meat, and regular canned Whiskas ain't gonna cut it, mac. You can feed your Ctarl-Ctarl regular lunchmeat, or, something a little more fancy. *places the roast on a plate with just a sprig of parsley*///Jess: *knocks away the parsley and eats both the roast and the plate*///Ari: augh! Eating plates is a no-no! If your Cat Demon eats something it shouldn't have, give him/her a good, hard, whack over the head! *whacks Jess over the head*///Jess: urp! *upchucks the plate*///Ari: ew. Eh, I'll pick it up later. Anyway, Cat Demons also need their fiber, as in greens. A healthy salad once a week shuld do the trick. *places the salad in front of Jess*///Jess: *sniffs the salad, then sits in it* mya! X3///Ari: -.- well, that's just beautiful. Forget it, moving on. Cat Demons love chocolate, but you should only give it to them in small-hey!/// Jess: *has chocolate smeared all over her face* nyeh.///Ari:...amounts. Oh, screw it. Just don't feed the damn thing rat poison and it'll be fine! I give up!
The Social Cat Demon
(((outside in the middle of a park on a sunny day, with Jess clung to a tree, imitating a geko, and Trikko is sitting down on a nearby bench))) Trikko: ahem. Now we're talking about socializing your Cat Demon. In the wild, Cat Demons are naturally loners the first few years of their lives, until they find a pack. Your Cat Demon will naturally want to be left alone for the first 3 years of it's life, until it want to find a pack. we're working with a thirteen-year-old Cat Demon, so she already formed a pack with us. After forming a pack, Cat Demons are usually sweet and docile.///Jess: *chasing after a frightened poodle* rawr!///Trikko: exceptions can be made, however...-.-;;. Anyway, if a Cat Demon meets another demon...///Jess: *runs into Hiei*///Trikko: ...many things could happen. The Cat Demon may take a liking to the other demon.///Jess: *has tackled Hiei over and is now licking him* mrah!///Hiei: get off of me, Jess! *shoves Jess away*///Trikko: however, if the other demon acts hostilly...///Jess: *hisses, unsheathes claws, arches back, and roars loud enough to make the ground tremble* RAAAAAAAAWR!///Trikko: so shall the Cat Demon. If the Cat Demon comes upon a demon or human he/she knows is more powerfull...///Youko: *is sitting up in a nearby tree* hello, Jess.///Jess: *ears turn backwards, lays low on the ground* nyooo...///Trikko: ...the Cat Demon will be submissive. And last, but not least, if a creature that the Cat Demon loathes walks by, the Cat Demon attacks...///Kuwabara: hey, it's cat girl! wassup, Jess?///Jess: *growls and attacks Kuwabara, chewing on one of his arms*///Kuwabara: augh! Get it offa me, get it offa me!///Trikko: if that happens, well...all you can do is stand back and pray he goes to a cheap doctor ^^;;.
Cat Demon Emotions
(((in a living room, where Jess is asleep with her head on Hiei's lap, and Hiei asleep over her. Mikaluu is sitting on a nearby couch))) Mikaluu: Cute, isn't it? Cat Demons have every single emotion we do, from sadness and pain to happiness and joy. But many people don't seem to know this. Over the years, many Cat Demons have been killed for fur, claws, or becaus they eat livestock. This also is due to the fact that only people who share a bond with a Cat Demon can recive their sendings. Sending are mental pictures transmitted to and from Cat Demons, like a telepathic picture. Thing is, Cat Demons also send emotions with sendings, enabling the reciver to feel what they feel. Jess and Hiei are very good friend because they can send sendings to and from each other. That, and the fact that they've both led pretty rough lifes. Just because Cat Demons look diffrent, sound diffrent, and probably smell diffrent than humans doesn't mean they don't have feelings. Truth be told, I think Cat Demons are quite possibly the most heartfelt creatures of all.///Jess: *snuggles closer to Hiei, purring* purrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........///Hiei: *tightens his grip around Jess*.........
THE END
Jess: well, how was it? Please r&r, I love all feedback. But any flames will be in my fireplace tonight. Thanks!